12-12 -- Remembrance

The grey, rainy weather today seemed to fit the mood for remembrance -- somber and quiet. I spend this day of national remembrance in reflection, acknowledging the service of many family members, friends and people I've never met. My maternal grandfather fought at Vimy Ridge in WWI; he came home but didn't sleep well for the rest of his life. Two uncles and an aunt from both sides of the family served in WWII as did my 'second' dad. Two uncles served in Korea, with one also participating in an early peacekeeping mission in Cyprus. A friend was a peacekeeper much later in Egypt. My best friend was in the air reserves. Two cousins served in the navy -- one in the second Gulf war and another in peace time. Former students and cousins were part of the reserves and the police force. I thank them all -- those I know and those I don't.

The cousin of my paternal grandfather died around Amiens in early October, 1918, during the push of the Last Hundred Days. He was buried in the Cambrai area. I found a photo of his headstone through Find A Grave. It provided a picture of something tangible. On my bucket list is a visit to Vimy Ridge and to the Cambrai cemetery, which is just down the road. The photo not only shows the engraved grave stone, but it shows a wonderful red rose bush growing beside the stone. This region of France was known as Picardy before it became part of Hauts-de-France. When I realized he died and was buried in what was Picardy, a song ran through my head. I think of it every Remembrance Day. I have shared it here in the past, but it fits the day well, so I will share it again. <smile> Keep safe. Enjoy! 

Roses of Picardy --  Mario Lanza

12-11 (6/10/25) -- Uninvited Guest

 This morning while removing sheets from tomato plants after a frost warning,  out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a black blob falling down when I shook one of the sheets. Nothing was evident when I searched the ground. Maybe it was just an eye floater. As usual, I took the sheets directly to the washing machine. While adding them to the washer, I saw something running under the laundry sink cupboard. This time Is was sure I'd seen something. It was rather large and black, but I only caught the last bit of it running under the counter, so specific creature ID was not possible. Now given the size, my mind went to an eight legged critter -- the type I have most issues with. 

Later in the day, a friend offered to come home with me to go on a spider hunt. <YIKES> I said I would try to dislodge it from the hiding space and let her know if or when I found something. Nothing showed up in laundry room. I felt a bit creeped out knowing that something was in the house without an invitation. As I was checking the front door late in the day, I noticed something large and black on the hallway floor. I turned on more lights and identified it as one huge cricket -- considerably bigger than the ones I am most familiar with. Thankfully I found it before it took up residence in a hiding place where it could chirp incessantly and drive me mad. I've had ones on the patio that cricketed all night long just outside my bedroom window. This may be from that same area. If so, I can attest to its tremendous volume abilities. So, it seems we dodged potential sleepless nights and disrupted days. 

The songs chosen today made me laugh when I thought of the performers. I'd much rather listen to these than to the potential squatter. <grin>  The first that came to mind due to the singer but the song topic is a sound that can be quite irritating, so I chose it to share. The second song is by a group that came to mind in the midst of the excitement today and the title fit the situation well, too. Keep safe. Enjoy! 

Give a Little Whistle -- Jiminy Cricket (a green creature for some reason) 

Don't Come Back Knockin' -- Buddy Holly and the Crickets

12-10 (5/10/25) -- Ups & Downs of Change

Today I recalled a song from an unexpected place -- a TV series episode presented as a musical -- unique and a bit fun. This song seems to end with the singer choosing not to change behaviour despite acknowledging that change might have a positive impact. I've experienced this feeling often. The work necessary to change and move forward can be more than one has energy to do. The goal can be to rest in the doldrums before climbing up or slogging through the swampy liminal space. Pausing does not mean we are mired in the muck, though that, too, can be a choice. 

The songs today are from two very different genres -- just my eclectic listening choices. The first song shared today is the one from the TV episode. The second song deals with the choice to dig into the low-lying areas for a longer stay. Keep safe. Enjoy! 

How would that feel? -- Christine Chong, Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, S2, Ep. 9 "Subspace Rhapsody"

Dig a Hole -- Blackberry Smoke 

12-9 (5/10/25) -- Lead with Kindness

This past week, we lost an amazing woman-- Jane Goodall, primatologist, ethologist, conservationist. She led with kindness, compassion, gentleness, humaneness. She was a wonderful role model for women in science, having dealt with the patriarchy of academia at the time, though Louis Leakey had chosen her as a 'boots on the ground' primate researcher (as he did for Dian Fossey and mountain gorillas and Berute Galdikas and orangutans). Dr. Goodall documented the use of tools as well as the making of tools by chimpanzees. She gave us a glimpse into the social world of these apes.

I met her briefly at a presentation in Saskatoon on October 28, 1997. After her talk, she signed books. I had my copy of Through a Window, My thirty years with the chimpanzees of Gombe (1990). She took time to speak to each person in the very long line -- a view of her generosity. I have another signed book that arrived by mail years later, after I notified the Jane Goodall Institute of Canada that I had included them in my will. The book, Jane Goodall 50 years at Gombe: A tribute to five decades of wildlife research, education and conservation (2010), is filled with amazing photographs of Dr. Goodall and the many chimpanzees studied over the decades. 

Dr. Goodall had been traveling for speaking tours and discussions with policy makers 300 days a year. She died in her sleep while doing what she chose to do -- advocating for animals, people and conservation -- at 91 years of age. She left this world in a quiet, gentle way, just as she lived her life.

The dedication of the 50th anniversary at Gombe book clearly shows her view of the world. I include it here -- 

    To the memory of my amazing mother, Vanne, without whose wise guidance this research might never have happened;

    To Louis Leakey, for his belief in a young, untrained woman; 

    To Rashidi Kikwale, who first introduced me to the forests of Gombe; 

    To David Greybeard and Flo, who introduced me to the world of the wild chimpanzees; 

    and to Rusty, who taught me that animals have personalities, minds, and feelings long before I met a chimpanzee.   (Jane Goodall with the Jane Goodall Institute, 2010. pp. 5)

She is with David Greybeard now. 

The song title and lyrics of the song for today was where my mind went when I heard the news. We still have questions and conversations to finish. Keep safe. Enjoy! 

Wait -- Paul Simon ft. Edie Brickell

12-8 (8/7/25) -- Now or Then?

A recent change in English language usage concerns me. Being one who cherishes history and studies it to inform future plans and to understand present practices, I have been disappointed to meet those who do not value our past. The language usage change has reflected the devaluation of our history. It has infiltrated everywhere, far past colloquial speech and into broadcast and social media, general conversation and news commentators, and greater speeches. As a grammarian and one who taught communication techniques, this change makes me shudder. Past tense usage is diminishing. Past experiences are recounted in present tense. Past tense seems, well, passe. For example one is more likely to hear "I go to the door and open it and there he is" rather than "I went to the door, opened it and there he was." This change in speech patterns appears to mirror the disinterest in history through use of present tense to the exclusion of past tense. 

When thinking of a song that could fit these thoughts, I chose two that come with interesting choreography. These show that not all new things are disappointing <smile> and that older things can feel new in the right context. The first song was released in 1966, so not new, but in the several commercials for a meal delivery service the choreography is new. What is old is new again? <smile>  Watch these commercials for the funky group dance moves. The second is a newer artist and song as performed at the 2025 Juno awards. The choreography fits the indie R&B song well. 

The Hamburger Song -- Bobby Moore and the Rhythm Aces

      Stick of Gum -- Nemahsis 

12-7 (7/7/25) -- Finding a Village

In stressful times, gathering a group of supporters can help us to move through the morass.  I like to refer to this group as a village -- a more pleasant metaphor to me than army, posse, or even team, which are much too combative for my liking. People we are close to in heart and not necessarily geographically, often join us early in the process of dealing with something disturbing. Others that may seem more distant can surprise us by showing up to be major assistants. This village provides all types of support -- transportation, picking up groceries, cooking a meal, visiting over tea, checking in, listening or just sitting with someone,  or even taking garbage to the curb. It all helps lift the day-to-day burdens when focus is on a larger existential situation. 

Lyrics from a song fit the group of guides and helpers that form along the way. Even the band name fits today's topic. <smile>. Keep safe. Enjoy! 

Find Your People -- Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors  

12 - 6 (7/7/25) -- Traumatic Trip

Recent reading and conversations have reminded me of how traumatic events in our lives change our emotional, physical and psychological outlooks. In short -- we are changed -- for better or worse, but likely a combination of the two. Learning to recognize the new 'me' is challenging. Accepting the changes in our new stories of self comes with many questions regarding the change. An oft repeated question for me is "Who am I?" Responses to this are not easy. We understand who we were but not the new expectations for forward motion and reactions to bumps along the way. The new part of our journey takes us through the mud and the weeds -- those wilderness liminal areas we must traverse to get to the new routine. 

Added to the considerable difficulty of the wandering nature of the forced transition is a major sense of uncertainty or discombobulation -- just where am I going? Short answer -- navigating the great unknown to get somewhere new. How's that for ambiguity? <smile> There will be a grand re-combobulation . It will take time -- another aspect of frustration to put onto the wilderness journey. How long will this take? -- another great unknown. <sigh> 

During a conversation about such journeys, a wonderful friend shared a song. The lyrics provide some guideposts for the trip through the unknown. The video is quite relaxing, too. So, on days when I am lying in the mud -- not wallowing, but just briefly resting there -- these words might help me to move on once I've had that important pause to gather my wits about me. Enjoy! 

Bubbles Up -- Jimmy Buffett

12-5 (20/5/25) -- Mood Changes

Last Saturday, I headed out to the drug store for an errand. I had picked up a prescription a while back and just put it in the drawer until I finished the open bottle. When I check on the weekend, it was clear that the number of pills in the new bottle was far from the number on the label -- less than half the number. Thankfully, inventories are electronically managed these days, so finding the correct transaction took little time. Three bottles were involved in the counting of pills -- one full bottle and two partial bottles. The full bottle had been scanned out of inventory and then the remaining pills were counted out of the two partial bottles. For some reason though, the full bottle was returned to the drug cupboard. I was able to walk out of the place in short order with all that had been prescribed. The interaction involved apologies but the tone was kept upbeat. After all, it was the correct med with the right instructions. 

I chose to go up to the bakery before heading home.  Along the way, my mood changed in a nanosecond. It was a gorgeous warm and sunny day. At a light I encountered a couple of bikers heading in the opposite direction. Around the corner I came upon another older fellow on an older Harley. I was already in tears after seeing the first ones. This one hurt even more. It brought back the memory of my younger brother who died last November. He would have enjoyed a ride on that glorious day -- just like the others I saw in town. 

A song fit my feelings -- all the mixed emotions of grief that built upon the sadness I initially felt. The artist began her career singing country songs in rural biker bars. She also has full sleeve tats. Those two  facts only added to the meaning of the lyrics for me. Keep safe. Enjoy! 

Stone -- Ashley Mcbryde

12-3 (18/5/25) -- Renewal

For many years, this blog has contained my story -- sharing my thoughts and experiences on a daily basis. My goal is to continue sharing my journey. The focus will be on encounters with what I will call Sneaky Little Bastards -- SLB's for short. Some blogs may be intense and potentially triggering for readers. I've hesitated to write publicly about intense emotions and personal losses, but I've come to believe that sharing my experiences has been helpful to me -- and maybe to a few others -- all along, so continuing with major life changes and learnings as I've navigated less traveled roads and many liminal spaces seems to be central to my emotional healing. Seeing the many sides of an emotional response to life's unexpected happenings helps me to process the experiences. Progress requires processing and processing is in the writing. Writing has been my way of moving forward. It is central to expressing my thoughts and feelings and freeing my creativity. So, it is time to just do it. <smile>

The song that began the blog still speaks to me in many ways. On a recent listen, I found myself saying "Yes" that is what this is all about -- "I must be searching for something -- something sacred I lost". That line holds so much in just a few words. Another line goes further than feeling loss and enters into emotions of anger and unfairness -- "I've been searching for something taken out of my soul; something I'd never lose; something somebody stole." So, buckle up. The journey may not be linear but rather something that jumps around the timeline. We will see how it unfolds. <smile> Keep safe. Enjoy! 

River of Dreams -- Billy Joel

12-4 (19/5/25) -- Hope Garden

The past two weeks have reminded me of a day spent with my dearest friend. Last September we planted fall bulbs around the perennial shrubs at the front of the house. I thought of these bulbs as a metaphor for hope -- a garden of hope. That added some positiveness and anticipation for the end of winter -- our least favourite season. The crocuses bloomed before anything else began to green up in the shrubs. This week the shrubs have leaves and the tulips have begun to bloom. The pale lilac variety showed first. The deep purple buds are ready to burst forth soon. When I look out the front window or leave or return to the house, the flowers make me smile. Seeing the result of our plans for a spring flowering garden helps me see the good all around me. 

The night we planted the bulbs had a full moon. The brightness of the moonlight just after midnight was amazing. It made me think the patio light had been left on. The moonlight lit the patio and the living room. It was a lovely bright night. A full moon appeared out the windows this past week, too. While not as large as the autumn moon, this spring moon also lit the patio and inside the house. Things had come full circle. 

The flowers brought with them some wonderful positive feelings, turning my mood to a happier place. The first chorus of the song shared here reminds me of why we planted these bulbs. I plan to add more to the mix for next year and hope to hang onto the feelings through the difficult days we all encounter. Keep safe. Enjoy!   

Hello World -- Lady Antebellum 

12-2 (4/3/25 ) -- Cultural Food & Music

Today is Shrove Tuesday and in some places it is called Mardi Gras. I have enjoyed my trips to New Orleans in the past and would love to go again. The food and the music are out of this world. Cajun and Creole cooking mix European with Caribbean, African and Indigenous cuisines. A food tour of the French Quarter provided historical origins of several dishes. We sampled gumbo (my fave), muffuletta, po' boys, Calas (rice fritters made for breakfast from leftover rice from the day before), and some cocktails unique to the city. Conference meals included bread pudding in many iterations. Even the phone book had a recipe in the city pages. Items I tracked down were fried catfish, jambalaya, red beans and rice, and crawfish boil. We toured the restaurants where bananas foster and oysters Rockefeller were developed. It was a great place to have a conference about food and society.  

Today I planned to make red beans from a recipe that I adapted to get close to the New Orleans version I sampled. I got busy with something else and will need to make that tomorrow. I did make pancakes for supper, though. <smile> One song has been on my mind for a couple of days now -- a song that makes me want to get up and dance. It reminds me of the Cajun music I heard when traveling. I guarantee this one will make you move. Just go with it. Keep safe. Enjoy! 

Down at the Twist and Shout -- Mary Chapin Carpenter 

12-1 (26/2/25) -- Stress Reminder

Yesterday I woke with the opening bass line of a song repeating in my head. It was just seven notes, but the rhythm was unmistakable. I instantly knew the bass player and the band involved, but for the life of me couldn't get the song name to come to mind. So, I reverted to asking Mr. Google and after a few minutes, I had my answer. It is interesting to have the largest encyclopedia in the world right at our fingertips, eh? 

The song dealt with emotional aspects akin to anxiety. Now why would my brain choose to pick that seven notes to let me know that I am carrying some stress around with me? Was is trying to tell me something or simply acknowledging what I've known for some time. I will admit that this message made me smile. Listening to the full song helped me to relax and move forward with my day -- a day filled with errands and meetings. Luckily the weather was pleasant and dry for a change, so no weather conditions to interfere with the ability to drive and walk were present today. I am very ready for the precipitation events to stop freezing and becoming snow or freezing rain. The ice on the ground has been treacherous. 

The song for today may create an earworm with its intro bass line. I enjoy the collaboration of the band with a solo artist. The video is a bit avant garde which one would expect from this solo artist. <smile> Keep safe. Enjoy! 

Under Pressure -- Queen & David Bowie