Wind and snow continued through the day and into the night. All is expected to quell into tomorrow. That will make this almost three days of wind and precipitation, both frozen and not. A couple from down the road were unable to get to a matinee musical play, so had texted their tickets to a friend of mine. Getting to the show wasn't far to drive. I waded out through 4+inches of snow and the knee deep piles at the end of the driveway left by the street plow. While it was snow, it was very wet and walking to the car and then to the building left us both wishing we had a towel. The play went well, though it seemed rather long for the little ones that were in the audience.
Back home I did more laundry and made something for supper -- basic boring -- or mundane -- tasks. I left the shoveling to tomorrow once the snow stops falling. I will admit to feeling this is a bit early for such a storm and snow accumulation. I heard other say that, too. Yet, similar scenes have appeared in the social media memories noting that similar meteorological events have occurred with great regularity at this time of year. I would much rather nothing like this storm forced its way into my view at least until the end of December. That was the usual time for a major snow event when I moved here over 20 years ago. So, it begins for another year -- my blogging about my dislike of winter weather events <smile>.
A song came to mind today that seemed perfect for the day and the comments I heard from so many other people about this disruption to life as we'd wish it to be. Interestingly, I found myself using a few descriptive words for the snow that were not included in this lengthy listing. <grin> Enjoy!
Winds remained throughout the day and will continue into tomorrow. Most of the day involved rain or wet snow that melted on contact with roads and sidewalks. By the time I headed home, the sun had set and the winds were still very strong -- the kind that blow you off the sidewalk into traffic. Sidewalks were slick where the slushy schmutz that had covered them began to freeze. Not too bad for walking then, but it will be slippery as the evening wears on and snow begins to fall in earnest.
While in the office trying to work with a file sharing program today to edit existing parts of a research project, I had less luck than in the past with this software package. This time I could get nothing to work for me. I was > < this close to getting the edits into the correct places in the proposal. I fear I said something untoward and then just shut down to walk back home. <sigh> Then when walking, I thought of what I'd read today from an interview with Helen Mirren. She has a major social media presence, so is no Luddite. Yet I was struck by her comment stating, "I am rather happy that I knew the world before technology. The constant learning process of technology can be sort of exhausting. It seems like every week you have to learn something new about how to pull up WhatsApp or something." (Crisolago, M. Zoomer, Nove 25, 2019). This statement had me thinking of correspondence and how that has changed so dramatically. Knowing what it had been like, might give those of a certain age <smile> a different perspective than those who have never lived in a world without such communication technology. I think of how letters between friends or partners had been cherished and saved, sometimes tied up in a lovely length of ribbon as a keepsake. Now, such conversations may be lost to the ether or with some software may be saved. The latter can be even better than the letters tied in a pretty bow, since the software would save both sides of a conversation. The time needed to correct a misunderstanding is much less than weeks between posted letters. So, contrary to the difficulty I had with software today, software may improve personal record keeping. <smile>
There are so many songs about letters, something else that may change as e-communications dominate. I found one originally recorded way back in the day. I chose a cover version that is just a bit more recent because I like the artist's vocal style and this has an arrangement much different than the original. Enjoy!
In a blog from 2016, Meg Conley noted three questions that they discussed around the dinner table each evening. I loved this approach to checking in with family. This becomes even more special when I realize that fewer and fewer families eat together each day. So -- the questions.
1. How were you brave today?
2. How were you kind today?
3. How did you fail today?
Now those are challenging each in their own way. Today I am going to try to address each of these, though I've found that the lines between each are rather blurred.
Let's start with being kind. While at the hospital this morning for the annual blood work, I met my former neighbour and her niece. The neighbour moved out of the house next door to me within the past month. I was so happy to see her, I gave her a big hug. She now lives at a seniors assisted living complex. I told her their dining services were fantastic. I felt so much better seeing her and I hope I helped her somewhat, too.
So , being brave. When I walked back down the hill from the hospital, I stopped at Timmy's for a cup of tea. Fasting blood work means I miss my morning caffeine, so I decided to treat myself to a cuppa and a nosh (mixing cultural references now it seems). As I sat looking out at the rain, I was caught unawares by almost tears followed by a big smile -- all within less than a second. I chose to look more deeply into this surprising emotional mix. Happiness and delight were tempered by something more negative. Naming that emotion took time. My brain worked away at this while I was moving through the 'to do' list for the day. The result noted it feels a bit like being alone or wanting something that just isn't possible in this moment. Now, to me alone is not the same as lonely; in fact, alone can be a very positive place but it also can be something that pushes one into the abyss. So -- realizing this feeling, I tried two things that have helped in the past. This is where the failure part of the day arrived. These problem solving techniques just didn't change the feelings. Other calming strategies will be tried as the evening progresses. It is a fervent wish that one of these works.
In other failures today -- yes, I may need to be kinder to me <smile> -- As I walked down the street a block from the house, a car, a large puddle and I had an encounter. I couldn't step further away from the curb as there is a house right up to the edge of the sidewalk there. The car could have slowed, though. I recall saying something very ungracious about the driver after the waist high wave soaked the bottom of the coat and the jeans from my knees down. This has happened to me in the past without this petulant response. I recall in Saskatoon, as I waited at the corner to cross the street, there was a moderate lake growing on the roadway. I stepped a good 6 feet back from the curb only to be fully showered from head to toe by a passing motorist. It is just water after all. <smile>
While still working through this one, the chorus lyrics of a song came back to my mind. Other of these lyrics deal with loss, which is not the issue today. The chorus, though, deals with a feeling of being alone and has been whispering in my ear lately <smile>. Enjoy!
An interesting and full day is nearing an end. Three meetings occurred. One dealt with a new project for development of a presentation for a summer conference. This has the potential to become a full blown research project. So this is the new shiny thing on my desk -- that thing that distracts me from focusing on existing project writing -- like I need anything external to mess with concentration <smile>. In all three meetings, I found myself being extra tangential -- heading the conversations off into some morass of fun details that don't get us through an agenda or even make a sensible point <sigh>.
While walking home after the final meeting, I found myself semi-focused on what was going on inside and outside that interfered with plans for the day. I discovered a sense of anticipation but for a bundle of events -- all outside my control (of course! <smile>). Running between meetings I quickly said hello to a few friends, but had to postpone a chat until next week. A positive thing. I will do a public presentation in three weeks -- the topic was chosen months ago, so this will require getting back to what I meant by the longer title. <smile> These are good things with excitement and smiles. The weather forecast for the next week appears dismal at best, with some form of accumulating frozen precipitation appearing on every daily icon. Other changes on the home front are expected in the coming days. These induce negative stress.
Taking the moments to check in with myself led me to realize that living in the moment has been helping me to smile rather than obsess on as many 'what ifs' as is usual in my wee brain. That was cool to realize. There are more positives right now than negatives <smile>. Lucky me. Looking forward can be positive or much less than that. Finding the balance for the day helped me to feel much calmer -- not full on calm and cool, but less stressed. I'll take it. I chose the song for today because of the chorus lines that state what I recognized today as the reason behind my recent bouts of being late for meetings and appointments as well as the overwhelming sense of waiting for something new to arrive. The final lines sound like a live in the moment message. Overall, I found the revelations of my walking and thinking today to be quite rewarding. Enjoy!
Surprisingly, the day began with full bright sunshine. It felt wonderful for walking in the morning and again in the mid-afternoon. Perhaps the key aspect of the day involved my inability to be where I needed or wanted to be at the appointed time. I was late rolling out of bed, but had enough time to get to the office as planned. Then, mysteriously, no water came out of the taps when turned on. After my call being diverted to the county office instead of the town utility line, I discovered that there was some valve replacement occurring two to three blocks away and we were all without water from the main. I keep a couple of gallons of bottled water for such emergencies. This helped with breakfast preparation as well as washing up dishes and me. My afternoon meeting began about 20 minutes late, so ended later. At that time, I ate lunch -- later than usual. When heading to the 3:15 eye appointment, I saw that it was 3 PM as I left the office and the walk takes about 20 minutes depending on lights and traffic. Late again. I had a great conversation with the optometrist, and being her last appointment of the day, she was later than usual finishing. I was pleased to see that the sun had set by the time I left the optometrist's office, since my eyes were dilated. Granted the headlights all looked extra sparkly tonight, but it beat the heck out of battling sunshine with ginormous pupils. So, all of this and some force of nature was trying to get my attention while seated at my office desk. Three times I spilled something in the same space on the desk -- tea, chili oil from the tuna, and yogurt. I have no idea why this happened, but will see if it continues tomorrow. I do hope not, since the meetings tomorrow allow a comfortable space between each to allow me to eat lunch, head to the copier and catch up on backlogged e-mails. On the upside, I did some tiny bits of writing for one larger project. My focus was challenged, but the muse was close by, likely just outside playing in the sunshine.
A song I'd mentioned in a conversation yesterday came back to me as I walked down the road to the highway. I thought through other possible songs, but chose this one due to the appointment at the end of the work day. I toyed with the idea on the walk home. Enjoy!
Weather was warmer than yesterday, but with the wind felt colder. Spitty rain arrived early in the afternoon. I was out getting groceries and other supplies needed to get through the next while. By later afternoon, I walked out to the physio to deal with my neck - again. These visits do help as do the stretching exercises. Morning routine is getting more filled with various stretches for this and sundry aches and pains. <smile>.
Given the colder feel of the air of late, I guess I've been thinking of warmer climes, without fully realizing it. I heard a song that reminded me of time spent with friends in Hawaii at a research conference. We met for a drink before dinner. I had snagged a table early since I was staying nearby and they were outside the central city area. It was located on a small outdoor deck facing west. This created a lovely start to the evening. We watched the sunset across the Pacific from Waikiki drinking mai tais. After dark we went to a Thai restaurant for a delicious dinner and had such fun talking. We considered phoning home to let people know that it was 25C outside after the sunset and that it had been -25C at home before sunset. When we calculated the time difference (7 hours) we took a photo to share with colleagues and poke at the weather later in person. One of those people is no longer with us and the other two are retired away, one with health issues. It does make me smile when I recall all the laughter that night.
The song chosen for today dropped as a single about 10 days ago. It seemed perfect to share with you since hearing this song made me realize I'd been thinking of being elsewhere with friends. Enjoy!
The sun shone for much of the day providing something very different than the past couple of weeks. Time was spent working on household projects and chores. Nothing of note to highlight there <smile>. Early in the afternoon, the tree guy came by to trim the branches over the wires, at the east end of the house where storms bends trees down to the roof, and to remove the two larger branches of the tree damaged by Dorian last September. It was a good day to be outdoors working -- warm with little wind and no precipitation. He'll be back mid-week to put everything in the large pile in the back yard through the chipper. That will clean up the area by the back door and the path to the next yard -- where there could be a pathway to Main Street (if someone will take responsibility for the large tree trunk lying across the path <sigh>).
For a chunk of the afternoon, I streamed music from the band featured here. Twenty-eight years ago today Freddie Mercury died. His amazing singing and song-writing skills have been discussed for decades and more recently, emphasized in the biopic Bohemian Rhapsody. I've chosen two selections today. The first brings a view into the progressive (prog) rock genre of the mid-1970s. This one is a classic <smile>. The second song was written by Mercury as a tribute to Elvis Presley. It definitely has that rockabilly feel to it -- a major departure from Queen's other genres. Enjoy!
The day began with sunshine making its way through the windows and onto the floor and walls. That was lovely -- even if rather fleeting. Clouds returned as the day progressed. We headed back home from Halifax encountering bits of drizzle and in one spot bits of frozen drizzle. Neither was enough to create travel issues. When home, I unpacked and got laundry together and begun. A few errands called my name, so I headed out to three vendors for the items needed in the next few hours. The wind was biting cold with temperatures just below freezing. In the early evening I bundled up in winter gear to stand on Main Street to watch the Santa Claus Parade. It seems a bit early for this by a week or so, but weather cooperated, with many people lining the streets. I was in constant motion just to keep the legs warm. A pair of rain pants would have kept the wind from trying to freeze the quads <smile>. After a few more chores around the house, I had a wonderful chat with a friend -- a lovely way to end a great day.
Given the arrival in town today of a man in a red suit, I felt that the song should suit the season despite it being a tad early in my head. So, if you too feel holiday music could wait must a bit longer, I do apologize. Enjoy!
The Old Man's Back in Town -- Garth Brooks, Kenny Rogers, & Trisha Yearwood
The morning began a bit cloudy, but with some sunshine behind and between clouds. A friend and I set out for a roadtrip to Halifax. We stopped in Truro so I could get some supplies from the only store in the Atlantic area that seems to carry these products. Once in Halifax, we stopped at two stores for our other errands that can only be done in the 'big city' <smile>. We had a rest at the condo and then headed out for supper at a delightful Turkish restaurant. We shared the dolmas appetizer with warm flatbread. The Kafte entree was fantastic and the malbec paired very well with the spiciness of the kebab. Sadly, no baclava available that evening. It was still cooking. We headed out into the drizzle and walked the few blocks to the concert venue. Gordon Lightfoot was resuming his tour after a fall that left a major flesh wound last July.
What a wonderful experience. He so loves what he does. He's writing material for a new album. He stood for 90 minutes, performing song after song. This is the 80 Years Strong Tour. He turned 80 just before it got started and celebrated 81 a week ago. While he had some difficulty with rhinitis, once he cleared passages with a steroid inhaler, he hit some wonderful notes. Many hits were included along with some lesser known songs. It was fantastic to realize that most of the audience was softly singing along with him for the most well known songs. It was a gentle sound, not like that encountered at louder rock concerts when everyone just screams off key <smile>. It made me smile to see that not all audience members had silver hair -- good that those behind the Boomers appreciate the folk sound of this Canadian troubadour.
When back at the condo we had a glass of wine and talked. I was shocked when I realized it was 2:30 AM. Luckily no need to be up and headed back home really early. <smile> The two of us have been able to talk about everything for extended periods of time ever since we met. Good to have friends like that.
Needless to say, choosing songs for the this edition of the blog is challenging -- so many wonderful songs from which to choose. I've chosen two even though I want to do the full set list for you all <smile>. These aren't the bigger hits, but ones that made me smile in their gentleness and poetic lyrics and melody. I so love his vocal phrasing and delivery -- so distinctive. The first song speaks to aspects of moving through life stages. This live version was from over a decade ago. Most band members seen in the video are the same as tonight and have been with him since 1960s (bassist) and into the early 1970s (keyboards and drums) with the lead joining about 2011 when he replaced a lost lead of 40 years. Tonight, he played a single encore. He introduced the song noting it was about a season we are entering. It is beautiful. Enjoy!
The day began with a phone meeting for an upcoming presentation. Members on the call were on both coasts and in the center of the country. It was interesting to be together planning while in 3 time zones. Another meeting will occur next week to set up the 'to do' list for gathering information and developing something that is as good as what the original plan stated <smile>. Other errands and phone calls involved collaborative efforts to see something come together. I enjoy working together to bring an idea into the light where it can be shared and built upon by others. I'm not sure any idea is truly and original individual thought, since we can get ideas from just being around other people and places. Such kernels of ideas hide away in the brain until they are ready to burst forth. When they do, we've forgotten where that one little semi-idea originated, so could take credit ourselves. We might take it, run with it, and produce something easily consumed by the masses, but that idea likely is part of ideas left by many other people. Interesting. Taking the idea and working it through the mind of others makes the final product so much more perfect. It is a painful process at times, but generally leaves one with pride in a job well done.
A song that was #1 on the UK charts 38 years ago involved a major musical collaboration. This was the first time David Bowie collaborated with other musical artists to record and release a song. Enjoy!
I was back at the office for the first time in a week. but slow to get back into the rhythm. The day brought a meeting to edit a co-authored document; setting meetings for planning a presentation; working to put thoughts into words -- sometimes things just flow and other times it is a struggle. Being away from this for a while can make it challenging to become immersed again -- like swimming -- getting fully wet feels very cold and hesitating can just drag out the process. Taking the plunge doesn't feel easy either some days <smile>. Once I get down to reviewing notes and adding words and phrases to existing writing, it should be easier to get back to getting words on a blank page. I have to be kind to me but still not hold up my co-authors and reviewers.
Needless to say, my inability to focus brings with it a feeling of being lost. Working through the clutter that enters the mind as I try to begin to write can feel overwhelming. Where should I begin? How can I get that writing groove back? Where do the writing muses like to hang out? I really need one right now. I will be taking another two days later this week to do 'me' things. I hope that will bring about the relaxed feelings needed for focus into the following days. It takes time to get things organized and sorted -- reviewing concepts and phrasing from the previous notes. It will work out -- it always does, but being calm and accepting of what feels like a delay is rather difficult.
A song came to mind that took me back to the greyness of the weather at this time of year. I said to a store clerk that I've just as happy if things went from autumn directly into spring. <smile> Now that seems like ignoring a quarter of each year -- time when so much could be accomplished and enjoyed. The song lyric and arrangement made me smile again and provided a window to hope. It may just counter the 'I want this done now!' mood -- which also impedes forward movement in the writing process. Enjoy!
Physical activity today involved walking out to an appointment and some yard work. Music was a part of each of these. The walk was about 25 minutes up and back. I then spent another 20 moving a branch that was somewhat larger than I'd expected. It was more awkward than heavy, being soft wood. These activities worked several different muscle groups. The activity allowed the brain to clear a bit. A number of things are swirling around on personal and professional fronts.
Focus on ideas seems easier when doing a physical activity -- something mindless that allows the mind to work unimpeded. I recall Golda Meir saying that she would polish silver when she had something big to think through. I find cooking and cleaning can let the mind work, often providing interesting viewpoints, analogies or solutions. Sitting and trying to think just doesn't work as well. So, lesson learned here -- keep the runners close by when working through things. <smile>
The first couple of lines from a song flitted around in my head today as I walked and thought (which often has me talking to myself, too <smile>). The tempo would work well for a fast walking pace. Enjoy!
The day was a study in loss. The memorial service for a dear friend was wonderful. The room was lit by soft purple flood lights -- her favourite colour. Great photos of her life played on three screens so all tables could see without twisting necks or chairs. It was as if we were surrounded by her in a warm hug. A table display of red roses, deep purple urn and a pair of her purple sequinned chucks brought a smile mixed with a tear or two. Wonderful tributes were presented by family and friends, each filled with cherished memories that brought tears and laughter. I am so glad our group of friends was able to attend. It meant so much to grieve together. Our evening also brought many more memories and story-telling complete with much laughter.
Pondering brought me to see the delay in return of my suitcase as an analogy. Failure to deliver the suitcase today as promised, led me to thinking that clothes and such can be replaced, but the emotions and memories that surround such objects can make the threat of loss feel more intense. The acuteness of the loss of a good friend was really at the centre of any fleeting emotions that were in the luggage debacle.When examining the emotions.of the day, I realized that it was disappointment with a trusted airline vendor that became intermingled with the multitude of emotion associated with the loss of my friend. Learning to tease out the small stuff to be able to focus on the larger events of life is a difficult lesson.
I was reminded earlier in the week of the wise words of another dear friend that continue to resonate with me during the loss of this amazing woman. His words state,
"Some things that we don't want to happen, we have to accept.
Some things we don't want to know, we have to learn.
Some people we don't know how to live without, we just have to let go." (PG Barton)
A song that echoes these sentiments somewhat is by another musician. I've used it here before when writing about the nature of grief and loss. Enjoy!
After 4.5 hours of sleep, I headed to the airport for a ridiculously early check in time of 4:30 AM. I got there at 4:45 for the 6:30 AM flight and the place was abuzz with many people doing similar early morning departures. The trip home meant that, once again, I'd be far away from many friends who truly are family. We met online about 25 years ago in a music fan group. The much larger group went through stages of community building. We came together based on common musical interests (forming phase). We entered a time of unrest and jockeying for position within the larger group (storming phase). We established a code of conduct -- mostly to be inclusive, kind and value differences that would be encountered. At this point, smaller enclaves of like-minded folks formed stronger bonds (norming phase). Our smaller group found online platforms to support our daily communications -- an amazingly wonderful aspect of newer technologies that bring people together (performing phase).
This line of thought brought to mind a quote from Edward R. Murrow (1958). Granted Murrow was speaking about television, but I posit this same premise fits use of any electronic flickering screen device.
"This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, it even can inspire. but it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it's nothing other than wires and lights in a box."
Somewhere in the midst of these four phases of development, our little band became a family. I now know spouses and kids of the original members. I love each and every one of them. I find explaining this can often be met with quizzical, disparaging, and pitying looks. This weekend it became very apparent to outside others that we were so much more than a group of crazy music fans. It may have started there, but it has grown and matured like a wonderful red wine -- with all the complex tasting notes blending together to become a singular entity -- hence, we've called it family. A group who chose to be family. While great geographic distances separate us from meeting for coffee regularly, they are all close to me in my head and my heart. Thankfully, we live in a time when technology allows continued daily contact through spoken and written word; so the closeness and longing to see each other can be somewhat assuaged. Sadly virtual smiles, laughter, tears and hugs, which are a delight to receive, just don't fully measure up to the real thing <smile>.
Lyrics of the song I chose for today speak to strong friendships. The video in the version shared here shows several people enjoying a collaborative effort as friends might. The title was heard many times this weekend as people thanked one or all of us for our parts in the celebration of life for one of family members. Enjoy!
That's What Friends are For -- Dionne Warwick ft. Elton John, Gladys Knight, and Stevie Wonder
Quick luggage update -- bag arrived at hotel 39 hours after it should have arrived with me. It took the airport 14.5 hours to get it into a vehicle for delivery. Who knew fresh socks would have such an effect? <grin> I did do a happy dance -- the cranberry dance of joy -- when it was delivered to my room, even though it was two hours before I checked out.
Most people gathered for the memorial headed home today. After a great breakfast at an amazing little diner, most of our group headed off in all directions. Three of us leave tomorrow, so we spent time with a dear local friend visiting and chatting. We were treated to a tour of the recording studio and introduced to four guitars -- two acoustic and two electric (a Les Paul and a Strat). Listening to various recording projects brought smiles and felt relaxing. We headed out for supper and a great visit over wonderful Italian meals. The piccata was amazing. <smile> Further great conversations occurred into the evening.The face to face visits with friends were true gifts.
Today it became patently clear - again - that I don't do goodbyes well. I suggested that we all find ways to gather as larger or smaller groups with some regularity, instead of the ubiquitous and nebulous 'someday'. These friendships should be nurtured, particularly at this point in the game. <smile> There were a few songs that came to mind for the main aspect of the day. I finally settled on one that stated well one of my lifelong difficulties with saying goodbye even when it is really a 'see you later' or 'see you soon'. Much of the story in the lyrics deals with something very different than the experience of the day, but there are bits of lyric, including the title, that fit me well. Enjoy!
The day began with a chilly walk uphill to campus while pulling my suitcase and carry on. I was headed for the 0715h bus to the airport. This walk brought with it a cardio workout. We left Halifax about an hour late, so arrived in Montreal with about 25 minutes to catch the connecting flight. I was ready to run, but feared the worst given that I needed to clear customs and security again. A cart was waiting for five of us with flights that had already begun to board. The cart went faster than I've ever seen. My hair was blowing in the breeze! She had to let us off at the US boarder crossing area, but had saved us all 12 to 15 minutes making that long trek through the airport. We ran to the end of the hall. Boarding passes scanned. We ran down a long hall making a hard left into the security area where we emptied our luggage and semi-disrobed. We were ready to run in our stocking feet but were encouraged by security to put shoes back on. Off we went down the next hall into a - thankfully - empty customs hall. I was the only one there as the 4 for Pittsburgh were ahead of me. Out of there, through the doors right into the perfume section of duty free. Luckily got out of there without getting lost or fainting from constricted airways from the scent. Out into the hallway with gates it became clear that my gates were at the bitter end and the moving sidewalks went to the opposite wing. Another long hallway with a sharp right turn ran into an even longer one. By this time I felt shin splints, but kept on going. At the end of the hall was an escalator down to my gate and the one for Pittsburgh. As I ran down the moving staircase the gate agent shouted, Are you Raleigh? Know I just answered yes, but was thinking I should have a long cape and a tricorn hat. I ran onto the plane with the door closing behind me while the flight attendant announced that boarding was complete. That felt odd as I was the only one in the aisle walking to the back of the plane. I checked my watch when I got seated and it just over 25 minutes since I left the other plane. Kudos to the airline crew for getting all to the planes on time.
Now, there were cathartic tears for making that wild run through the airport. Then I realized it was unlikely that the suitcase made the transfer. We then sat in line for de-icing. This process covered my window with thick lime green semi-liquid. No one could accuse me of looking through rose coloured glasses <grin>. Now this is where there were a couple of patches of blue sky with visible sun. Still not sure if that was to mock me or give me hope that all would work out.
Sadly, when I arrived in Raleigh-Durham, my bag was a no-show. My friend and I checked with the airline desk and were met with major ineptitude. A call to customer service got me further in 5 minutes than the 20+ minutes spent at the desk with workers carrying on two private conversations intermingled with occasional snippets with me and another customer. A letter will be written recommending that the situation with the contractor be reviewed. The bag was located still in Montreal and would be sent on the only flight daily tomorrow and delivered to the hotel. This meant that I had only my jeans and Hard Rock shirt to wear to the memorial service tomorrow. It took me a while to come to terms with that.
So, the day was brought to me by the colour lime green popsicle. The RFID holder for the passport is this colour. Today I learned that these cannot be carried through the security scanner. The de-icing solution changed my world view to something very bright green instead of ominous grey. Lastly, when asked the colour of my bag - GREEN - was recorded. I hoped they did not look for something that bright when mine is a darker tone.
The song for today involves my travel destination. I love this soothing voice. Enjoy!
While reading through social media posts this afternoon, I found one that struck a deep chord with me. A friend spoke about life as a tapestry, something her mother had spoken to her about when my friend was younger. The post took me instantly to my mother's memorial service where I had quoted Carole King's song, Tapestry. My mom sewed, quilted, knit and did cross-stitch. She was heavily into the fabric arts. That was the reason I chose those words. Today I found that others used that metaphor as a central truth to how life works. Threads that end while others continue. As my friend noted, not all threads are pretty or texturally pleasing. That does describe life so well.
Such metaphors have helped me through loss of many types. These ways of seeing things within a known and understandable system, such as a tapestry, can assist with beginning to make sense of the chaos that surrounds loss. Forming something known from all the unknowns can be part of the grieving process, one that helps us move forward through the many emotions that come with loss. Gathering as a group to pay tribute to a departed loved one can assist with the process for some people, too. Finding a way through can involve writing much like this blog has done for me at such times. It is a journey and we each must find our way through the brambles.
The song shared is the one I mentioned that moved my thoughts in this direction today. I love the melody and modulations throughout the piece. Enjoy!
What very odd weather combinations! Yesterday we had rainfall warnings and today we had snow squall watches as the wind changed direction to come in off the water. In between we had sun with blue sky patches between the clouds. Just odd. I walked to two appointments, the office and to a couple of stores for errands. Facing into the wind around noon was very cold. I thought then I should have put on my parka, but I was just not ready to to that <smile>. Exposed skin felt cold and with the shorter jacket and fleece, the thighs felt a lot cold. Denim isn't a great insulator. Given the potential for frozen precipitation on the sidewalk, I pulled out the winter boots with sturdy grips -- at least my feet were warm <smile>.
Getting ready for the colder season feels difficult. I'm not one that enjoys winter outings. I'd like a bit of cool weather with a longer fall followed by a very early spring. Winter temperatures without frozen precipitation and difficulties traversing the streets would work, too. Needless to say, that isn't likely to happen at this end of the country. The Pacific coast has something a bit more like this wish. I have the requisite clothing and just have to put it into service and not be too stubborn about it. <smile> That and shovels will need to be pressed into use tomorrow as there appears to be a couple of inches of something white on the ground and more expected. Much will melt with the potential for rain in a couple of days. It is definitely transitioning weather.
Heavy cloud moved in yesterday evening and bore rain today. Some heavy downpours in the forenoon yielded to light rain and drizzle as I walked out to Main Street for an errand and then walked further out for an early afternoon meeting. As I left that place, no rain was falling. Within a few minutes we had some sporadic raindrops that turned into major rain. About 4-5 minutes out form the meeting site, my feet felt wet. My runners have netted vents on the top -- definitely not great in rain. I've worn these same shoes on wet days, but only felt vaguely damp. Today, about one-third of the way home I felt water pooling under my feet. I was certain there would be water to pour out of the shoes when I got home, but the insoles held much of that water. I propped them up in front of a baseboard heater and found that some water oozed out onto the floor. I'm not sure how long it will take to fully dry these, but I think I need to find something else to wear tomorrow. The rain jacket and rain pants kept me dry otherwise, though rain ran down the jacket into my pockets so my hands were wet. I did not look up while walking, but believe the rain would have obscured vision of those driving past me. Big pools of water was present on the sidewalks and streets -- like huge ponds. the weather folks predict more rain overnight. the one thing I was very thankful for was that there was far less wind driving that rain than had been forecast.
Other than the rain, the day never got past the twilight stage. The day was the type that is often called grey and dismal. It does seem to be something to prepare us for the coming season, which has many such days. With the cloud cover, we will not see the full moon tonight. I did see the almost full moon on Saturday evening, but love seeing the full moon. I enjoy the moonlight on the kitchen floor.
When thinking of songs, several came to mind. I thought of 'Twilight on the Trail' by Michael Nesmith, but couldn't find it available online. I then thought of something from Woodstock, where they were treated to similar deluges. But I settled on another song that described some of my experience walking home this afternoon. Enjoy!
This is the national day of remembrance of those who served and serve in our armed forces. The day involves stories of past wars long past, as well as those more recent. Each year the Legion honours a mother who has lost a child in service. Over the past couple of decades, these Silver Cross Mothers have included women whose sons and daughters died in the world wars, Korea, and Afghanistan, as well as Peacekeeping missions in Somalia and Bosnia-Herzegovina. This honour has also recognized mothers who have lost children after they returned from battle with PTSD. Today, the chaplains who took part in the national services in Ottawa, spoke about the continued need for tolerance and inclusiveness in order to reduce conflict large and small. Many veterans groups laid wreaths including large numbers from indigenous communities and those who were born in other countries. All sacrificed whether by giving their lives, health or time with family.
I do think of many people that I know who served -- today as well as many other days. My maternal grandfather who fought at Vimy Ridge, the cousin of my paternal grandfather who died in France less than a month before the armistice, two of my uncles, one aunt and a 'second father' who served during WWII, an uncle who fought in Korea and served with Peacekeeping forces in Cyprus, cousins who served in the Navy one who took part in the second Gulf war, a friend who served in the Armed Forces (Air Force) and with Peacekeeping forces in Egypt, and several former students who serve in reserve and regular forces. For each of these and the countless otherss that I don't know, I say thank you, thought that simple phrase seems wholly inadequate to convey what I feel.
Thinking and listening to some of the music that came from wars, I chose two more recent songs of remembrance. The first, by a Canadian singer-songwriter well known within and outside our national borders, speaks to WWI. The second song, by a group from the small town where I currently live, deals with the war in Afghanistan. Enjoy!
Today, for the first time, I made mulligatawny soup -- a very large batch that luckily was very tasty. I also knocked a number of items off the weekend 'to do' list -- household chores, needed communications, searching for needed items online ( I dislike shopping online <yuck>). At times I felt a bit anxious and lost in all the planning and decision making, though one major decision is beginning to take form <smile>.
Dealing with external forces that threaten to take control of life creates a challenge. I'm not willing to let that happen, but feel like control is being taken from me at times. Anxiousness and fear flit in and out of my mind loudly whispering -- almost shouting at times -- "what if" over and over again. There's even a word for that -- catastrophizing (great, a noun turned into a verb <sigh>). When faced with a confluence of things that threaten to throw it all off the rails, usual coping strategies for singular challenges may not function as expected. With several big issues screaming in your face, even a small item that wouldn't create much of a ripple in the pond of life can feel like a tidal wave. Finding a needed coping strategy sometimes requires more energy than one can muster.
The song chosen for today speaks to another noun that has recently become a verb (and I do dislike this sort of language misuse <smile.) -- to adult or the present participle, adulting. I like the use of internal rhyming in the lyrics, which provides shorter phrases with a somewhat staccato feel, much like the stressers produce. Enjoy!
Besides the usual Saturday house chores, a couple of other items added some interest to the day. When I woke and looked out the window, I was taken aback. The ground changed colour overnight <sigh>. By tomorrow, it will return to the way it was yesterday -- at least for now. During the day, I began a debate with myself. Trying to make a decision on a major purchase brings much angst. Useful information had been diverted to the junk mail folder earlier this week. Now armed with that information, I can search for further details and begin the heavy duty pondering. If one big thing at a time occupied the mind, this type of process might be easier; it seems several decisions pile up, making any of the decisions more difficult. I try to do things methodically, but the outcome takes longer than hoped. One at a time is challenging; several at once is excruciating. The concept of decision fatigue appears, leading to difficulties choosing which socks to put on for the day or what to make for supper <sigh>. All will work out, in one form or another.
I laughed when the song came to mind today. When making a decision, I feel that I'm headed down the rabbit hole with Alice. The song contains this idea and pays homage to the fleeting colour change out the window, too. Enjoy!
A glimmer of hope entered two ongoing 'must do' tasks. Time will tell -- well, time and positive thoughts perhaps. I had some good moments in writing today. I still haven't gotten back into the 'writing groove.' As the afternoon wore on, I found some concepts from the writing of others. These have been swirling around in my head. Hopefully, these will coalesce and land in writing segments next week.
Hope is an interesting emotion. It can feel positive in the midst of major anxiousness. Sometimes, it might feel like an unlikely outcome -- so less hopeful than desired. False hope, perhaps. Regardless, there is at least a momentary uptick in mood and attitude. Like I stated earlier, time will tell.
A song that seemed well suited to the musings of the day is shared tonight. The title says it all <smile>. Enjoy!
A minor new plumbing issue was found today that we hope to get fixed tomorrow. I spent much of the afternoon running errands. These took longer than expected, but that was due to the many conversations I had with people along the way. When paying a bill, I had a long chat with someone I'd only seen in passing for a couple of years. It was wonderful to catch up and discuss the state of the world <smile>. At the drug store, I spoke with two staff members who I know well as a customer. The stop at the bank took me to the teller I see often, so again we had a little chat. As I walked down Main Street to the final stop, I ran into a former student who lives in the same area as I do. She always has a big smile and genuinely wants to know how I am doing <smile>. That goes both ways. All of this made me recognize that I wasn't alone even though I felt I was pushing against things all on my own.
The feeling of support made me think about the pluses of living in a small town. There are familiar people everywhere you go. I suppose this might be similar in a distinct neighbourhood of a larger city. It makes me think about where I want to live for my retirement. There are several options, but I'm not drawn to anyone in particular at this point. While doing research here, it seems odd to think of where else I might want to be. I expect it might all fall into place when the time is right.
The song chosen for today deals with that small town feel. The lyrics state "where everyone knows everyone" which can be both positive and negative. <smile> Enjoy!
I worked on two projects today and began organizing for upcoming plans. Nothing moved as I'd expected. One file couldn't be located meaning I have to search a couple of new places as I haven't used it since the office move a few weeks ago. Writing for the other project became difficult -- I have decent notes but had difficulty concentrating. I hope things will smooth a bit tomorrow so I can at least make solid notes for a meeting Friday.
It seems things are moving slower than I am spinning at present. I just want things done but can't get my head to work well to achieve that goal. Someone told me recently to be kind to myself; today that wasn't happening. I felt very frustrated and wondered what I could do to calm the brain and get back into the writing groove. The walk to and from the office today helped me to focus on the world around me -- blue sky, clouds and bright sun. That helps a bit, but not for the longer term today. I'm going try a tub soak in hopes of reading and warm water will add to greater calm.
A song title hit my consciousness and brought a smile. I haven't been scowling all day, as the writing here may indicate. <smile> Lots of smiles have been present. The situations noted in the lyrics of the selection today are far from what I'm in the midst of. Love this song by a great singer-songwriter -- Warren Zevon -- and chose one of many covers to share here. The title and chorus words made me smile and almost giggle -- definitely a tongue-in-cheek kind of song for the day. Enjoy!
Today I had a less than productive encounter with someone who could sell me what I need. <sigh> The person was long-winded, telling stories that obviously held a lot of frustration and pain. After a half hour of this and a review of what I had hoped would be options and pricing, complete with a software program that would not provide needed information, I had to say that I'd bought frozen things with groceries before I'd stopped by this office. <sigh> That got us up to look at inventory which was rather sparse. More will be arriving but I had hoped to get this over this month -- not looking positive. After another diatribe on past experiences from the other person, I finally headed home -- 90 minutes poorer. <big sigh>.
I do understand that people may need someone to listen. When I don't know the person well, it can be uncomfortable. When there should be shared power as customer and sales person, I expect a friendly banter, but not a long soliloquy. This means I have to do more work on my own so I can wrest control the next time we meet. If that doesn't work, I'll head elsewhere or move up to the manager. I hate having to do that in a small town.
A song title that came to mind is an oldie <smile>. The guitar backing reminded me of the repetative nature of the other person talking incessantly. The higher notes of the organ are what I heard myself saying in my head -- Yo -- see me here trying to buy something? <grin>. Enjoy!
Monday brought much frenetic behaviour. Re-booking a regular appointment that I just found out about today - It is set for tomorrow -- took a bit of time and juggling the schedule. Trying to accommodate another request into the weekly schedule; this will occur, just not tomorrow. Arranging to attend another event took some patience to get through software glitches, but all was set by early afternoon. A highlight involved a great break with a colleague at a local coffee shop. I enjoyed the outing in the sunshine, though it was cold today.
Who thought retirement would be less hectic? <smile> Obviously, this isn't the case. I agree that I am doing some research work, but that really doesn't take all the hours of all my days. There are times when the work is more intense, but it isn't continuous. Many other household and personal tasks pop up. I do like having time to read things that aren't all work related. Just a fun novel brings relaxation on tense days. Today, a few chapters helped me feel calmer and able to cook and eat a decent supper.
Based on the hyper self talk that I'm sure entered my chat with a friend, one song only came to mind for the day. It made me giggle when I thought of it. The surprise is the performer. Enjoy!
The annual 25 hour day is nearing its close. Many statements exist saying that we get an extra hour to sleep or whatever. Research clearly indicates that extra sleep does not occur. People stay awake longer and wake much earlier than they would have before changing time. That one hour makes a huge difference to our circadian rhythms. However, the change forward in the spring creates much more mayhem with far less sleep and more risk of accidents from drowsiness. Little reason exists for continuing this changing of time twice a year, so isn't time to adopt a single time and go with it? I come from a province that has not changed time since a law passed about a century ago. The province farms and does business around the world without changing time. It all works.
So, 25 hours -- how did I spend the extra hour. Other than usual Sunday activities, I did some cooking. I made a big pot of red sauce for future pasta dinners. A batch of red beans -- New Orleans style -- will be matched with a pot of rice tomorrow. After all, these are traditional Lundi beans <smile>. I also used the last of a box of local blueberries for a crisp that should last the week. A few cleaning activities will be pushed to tomorrow. Even that extra hour didn't give me enough time or energy to get it all done. <smile>.
The long day reminded me of a much longer day I experienced years back. It was a 30 hour day. I got on a plane in Hong Kong at noon and landed 10 hours later at 6 AM on the same day. Flying east always creates major jet lag for me. I'm sure I slept 20 hours when I got off the final plane. It took some time to not wake at 3 AM thinking it was lunch time <smile>, but going back to work and a schedule seemed to work best for me. So, two or three days later I was back at my desk. A friend had an extra week of vacation, so she was still getting up to cook lunch in the middle of the night. It took getting back to work to stop that cycle.
I chose a relaxing sounding song to go along with the diverse pondering of the day. The melody and the voice are so smooth and calming. Enjoy!
The sunshine was welcomed in the kitchen this morning. Standing at the stove, it warmed my legs. Outside it cooled a lot overnight. The furry one enjoyed sitting in the sunlight and letting his golden highlights shine. A quick trip out for milk in the afternoon convinced me that I didn't want to go too far in the colder air. Inside the usual weekend laundry and cleaning kept me occupied.
Being tired, I didn't have a lot of deep thoughts. I worked to arrange some necessary tasks between the meetings and appointments for the next week. Being retired doesn't mean having days without things that need to be done <smile>. Even the furry one seems to be sleeping more as we have fewer hours of sunlight each day. We both must be moving to a hibernation mode. <grin>
What a strange weather day! Temperature warmed overnight and by mid-day it felt like summer -- 22-25C with major humidity. Bits of sun became heavy overcast cloud ad then bright blue sky by supper time. Temperature began to fall by early evening and would be 4C into the overnight hours. During the day, wind increased by mid-afternoon to bring gusts close to 80 km/hr. These came from all directions. On a 5 minute walk across campus, I was buffeted from all directions. By 5 PM, the winds were much less noticeable. Very little rain fell, but the misty drizzle made me feel damp when it was being pushed at me by major winds. It felt like I was living in Winnie Pooh and the Blustery Day <grin>.
On campus, I tried to do some writing and editing without the e-file that I'd left at home. I was able to make some notes that should be easier to follow and job my memory as to what was needed where. I participated in a celebration of a successful PhD defense by one of our new faculty members. So exciting! It brings back memories of my time in this position at the same university. This was followed by a career path seminar by a graduated from 10 years ago, who has done a lot of different projects with a focus on sport nutrition. She is now the lead dietitian for the Toronto Maple Leaf organization (three team levels from NHL to farm team to bush league). She was entertaining as always. For a late Friday afternoon session, there was a good turnout of students.
A song with a fitting title becomes the selection for today. The rhythm feels a bit lighter and more upbeat than the gusts I encountered. The wind made me dance across the sidewalks, but not in the way I envision when listening to this song. <smile>. Enjoy!
It was a rainy Halloween here, but it didn't pour like seen in other areas. Warmer air is present making for a warmer fall day than usual. I worked from home, but had difficulty focusing on the tasks at hand. A friend and I went out for dinner, which we often do on this date. No one chooses to walk the dark 100 foot driveway, if any children even come down our street. The newer subdivisions have more young families, so those are the favoured place for kids doing the rounds. Dinner was wonderful and it was just what I needed for a social outing. A few kids in costumes came by the restaurant, most being kids of staff members. Their costumes were cute.
I've not really enjoyed Halloween with its focus on greed -- size and type and amount of treats becoming the focus. Lack of thanks or even rude comments over the choice of treats distributed seems difficult to reconcile. Is it about entitlement? Hmmm House parties would be more my speed if I had to participate in any way. I went to a few as a child and enjoyed the games and fun with everyone getting the same treat bag in the end. Perhaps it is the competitive nature and inequalities that bother me. I think I need to unpack this one more. <smile>
Many songs exist that fit the day. I managed to choose one. The lyrics even contain a number of food references since "Food is my Life" [TM]" <smile>. Enjoy!
