I played catch-up much of the day. Got the laundry finished and pre-prep for the group gathering tomorrow. I rested much of the afternoon. Migraine hangover still here, but nothing at all close to the nastiness of yesterday. I ate on a usual schedule and managed to do some cooking. The drizzle and rain made it another good day to be inside and recuperating.
The weekend 'to do' list always exceeds time available. When feeling unwell during the weekend, many items have to move into next week for completion. Sometimes moving tasks elsewhere on the calendar can feel like imposing on the plans for those other days. I wonder if I try to schedule things too much. Time sensitive tasks have to get done on time, while other things can just be pushed aside for another time -- maybe another weekend.
The song I chose today deals with healing - the reason I didn't push to do more today. The poet - singer - songwriter crafted the lyrics that delve into brokenness and healing. The voice is unmistakable. Enjoy!
This will be short. I woke early today and it took about an hour to realize why. Migraine. This one is worse than most. I've spent the day eating bits every two hours and sleeping most of the rest of the day. I have had episodes of being able to run a load of laundry but little else. I'm doing some quick screen time to address needed communications and decided to try to get a quick blog off while online.
The song I chose can be somewhat soothing. I heard the lyrics in my head but replaced 'heartaches' with 'headaches' today <smile>. The pain comes and goes, but the fatigue is constant. I'm hoping things improve overnight and through tomorrow. I need milk, so will have to be able to walk to the store tomorrow. Listen to this song and relax. Enjoy!
OK. I have three degrees and none of these are in math. I did take calculus and statistics as an undergrad and then took twice as much statistics in my masters program -- that even became my ancillary subject. While that may sound impressive, it likely projects a false sense of ability <grin>. So, why am I telling you all this? Well, it seems that I miscalculated a milestone date for the blog. I was off by a week -- as in 7 days. Not too sure how that occurred, but it did. What this means is four days ago the 2000th post was made to this blog. That comes from 5.5 years of daily blogging. I know I've said this before, but I wasn't sure I'd get a full year done let alone surpass those 365 days. I should take my own advice -- never say never <smile>. Similar topics arise repeatedly, though I truly hope that most of these have moved upward in a spiral instead of simply revisiting the same thing with the same comments. Elevating the comments even a little can indicate a modicum of growth. And if you'd like the fancy dancy word for that thought process, it is Hermeneutic Circling. Use it at a party to impress someone, but do it before imbibing too much as it can be tricky to say. <smile>. Songs have been reused, but I've found that the topic they represent may be a bit different most times.
I know people read this. Some apologize for not reading daily -- like I have a book of folks to unfriend should they not be anal retentive about reading <giggle>. I think I'd keep writing just for me even if no one else checked in to see what's up. This wee place falls in the public sphere, so people from anywhere in the world could drop in or a search engine could send someone here. That aside, I find writing here allows me to flex my creative muscles every once in a while. It also helps me to work through events and concepts as I'd noted as a goal in the inaugural post. I have found it relaxing at the end of the day to reflect and to listen to a song or two. Finding new-to-me artists and songs is delightful. I now keep a list of new songs of heard and thought they might fit a topic someday. Some have while others haven't -- yet. <smile>. I guess the bottom line is this blog has given me an outlet for my thoughts -- throwing them out into the universe so to speak. I thank my friend who dared me to do this for a year. Who knew?!
The selection for today covers the original hopes and dreams for this blog. Those goals continue as growth and understanding this world is a lifelong quest. The lyrics and melody are inspirational, since this was written for the 1988 Olympic games. The singer always did well with a power song like this one. Here's to the next 2000 <grin>! Enjoy! One Moment in TIme -- Whitney Houston
For the most part, today went well. The worst part was dealing with the inability to login to a secure part of the site at work. I called the help desk and was told there had been a change to the procedure. I didn't get an email notice of this change, so was surprised at this response. I was sent a 'how to' sheet for installing a new software that led me to a page to format an external client (about step 16 and I had just begun). Now I am on campus and shouldn't need to deal with an external client to access something within the campus system. So -- I shut the process down. I checked with someone a couple doors away and they had never heard of the software that I had been told to install. They had been logged into the part of the site that I was trying to access yet without any new protocols. I went for a walk down the hall and found a friend in their office and asked the same question. There are now two log in screens using two different userid/password combinations. For some reason, I'd had these interchanged. Using these in the correct order made all the difference. I did not complete my planned activity today. By the time I got into the site, I had a headache and it was past when I should have been home to eat. Maybe tomorrow <smile>.
Communication is such a fragile thing that we often take for granted. Obviously how I asked my question of the help desk person didn't clearly state what I needed OR they assumed that I wasn't on campus for some reason. I said I was faculty in the department, but for some reason that wasn't enough to help them to tell me what I really needed to do. He may have been very busy today with students registering online from places not even in town. His response then was based on what many others had been asking and not what I was asking. Intriguing how things can go so badly wrong.
A song came to mind with lyrics that state something similar to my feelings -- feeling let down by the communication process. The new wave group performing are from the UK. Enjoy!
The last midweek of the month is slowly coming to a close. Several plans for moving offices began. A research meeting ended with plans for the next week. Time spent online helped to find some documents to answers to a research question with several other questions that still require further searching. Two wonderful notes were received by real mail that made me smile at the kindness of others. The day ended with a wonderful dinner out with friends. Good good and wine and fantastic conversation. The evening was pleasant for walking without swarms of black flies poised to attach.
Some days are filled with small things that make the world feel good. While they may not be standout events, things can be considered as positive. It is similar to advice in Thronton Wilder's Our Town. A character who has died was able to revisit her life for a single day. She received advice not to choose a special day, but to visit an ordinary day. Against this advice, she chose to spend time observing one of her childhood birthdays. During the observation, she felt disappointed in how people seemed to miss great moments right in front of them. The moral may be that we should pay attention to the small things in daily life and take the short moments of joy where they are presented to us. Those smaller things can carry so much.
The song that came to mind today has been recorded in many genres. I like the one shared here. The lyrics and title reiterated what I'd been pondering today. Enjoy!
What a great day! I did a few things around the house and then went to get groceries -- in the middle of the day! I'm retired, I can do that now <grin>. When I got home, the day was so bright and sunny -- but not too hot with the north breeze -- that I decided to do some yardwork. I cut back some of the ferns that had grown closer to the hosta than I like. So many weeds and tree seedlings appeared after the major rains of the past few weeks. I pulled many of these. Then I tackled pruning and using loppers on tree suckers and deadwood in some otherwise healthy trees. When I came back into the house, my heartbeat was up and I felt like I'd had a good workout. I had planned to go for a walk, but this was more productive in the end. Early evening involved making edits and returning the manuscript to the editor. I think it is now heading to the publisher. <smile> Files for the research meetings this week were reviewed and organized -- somewhat. Overall, this has been a productive day.
Getting things done and being productive can bring positive thoughts and feelings. A day with less anxiety is a good day. Where the motivation to get things done is a mystery. It would be nice to know where to look for it some days. I'm also not sure I want to question things too closely, but just accept that days are going to be different. They all will require some coping strategies, so perhaps living in the moment would be best rather than trying to repeat this great Tuesday. Dwelling on a good or a bad day and trying to rebuild or not rebuild it, likely leaves us looking forward or backwards and missing all the good stuff all around us right now.
A song with sentiments that match this day is shared tonight. The New Jersey band provides an up tempo tune that is somewhat guitar forward. Enjoy!
It has been one of those Mondays. Not that things went badly, but I just felt a bit off. I got out more summer clothes and put away more winter ones. The outerwear closet needs to be tackled still, but that is a quicker task. I sent off the project that has been consuming my thoughts for a long time. Now it sits with the editor. I can't wait to see the galley proofs. Just to see it formatted for publication will be positive. Perhaps my feelings come from a bit of a let down after running on adrenaline for some time now. I do feel tired, but haven't slept well for the past couple of days either. The day was dismal grey again outside, so that, too, might play a role in my mood.
Thinking through some of these possible reasons for the moods left me looking for a song that could help with relaxation. My head thought of one from a while back. Instead of doing further reflection, I stopped and listened to the song. I do feel a bit better and ready to have my bedtime chai and maybe a cookie. A friend posted today that enjoying something sweet can be positive. So, music, chai spices and a cookie should do the trick and help me fall asleep.
I share that song with you all today. It is a beautiful melody. The lead singer does a fantastic job with the lyrics and melody, while the backup singer brings wonderful harmony to the piece. The acoustic nature of the song helps with the relaxed feel it brings. Just sit back and let this wash over you. Enjoy!
Several items on the to do list found their way off the list today. The laundry was completed. Best of all, the paper formatting phases were completed. I tried again to work through a technical issue to make a new file -- in a format I've not used before. I tried this several times before but today things went as I'd originally thought they should. <smile>. Once completed, I embedded the file within the paper as the final touch for that document.
I'll admit to being slightly giddy about trying something new technically and having it actually work. I suppose the giddiness could be due to less sleep last night, too. <smile> This month has been filled with a number of new things for my annual list. Completing the one today by myself added to the sense of accomplishment. I had several friends names at the ready should things go as they have in the past -- poorly. Not needing to contact someone else felt great. I did send things to a few friends to ensure they could open the file and that it functioned as expected. Things did seem to work. Yesterday, I fully expected that today would not see things completed and that an extension to the submission date (tomorrow!) might be in order. So -- all in all a good day.
The selection for today covers the importance of trying. Even if it doesn't work, keep trying. This song is definitely upbeat with its funk stylings. Enjoy!
Where did the time go? I feel ready to collapse into sleep and yet things didn't get done as I'd hoped today. Some laundry and household chores were done, but more awaits me tomorrow. The planned writing work did not manifest itself. Again, bits were tackled, but the big parts still require major attention. I did have a wonderful chat with a friend on the other side of the country, so the day was not a write off <smile>.
Outside the windows the weather was cloudy, grey and damp. Perhaps this weather system has affected my energy levels today. It would be easy to blame something external to me, wouldn't it? But, I fear I must take some of the blame for not being fully engaged with things today. As Scarlett O'Hara said, "Tomorrow's anothah day" in her best southern drawl. It does take effort to drop into the zone needed to focus on writing tasks. Yet, I often find myself daydreaming instead. So, I won't chastise myself too much for today, but will work to find some time tomorrow to complete the paper. It would be nice to just spend a bit of time Monday proofing things and then send it on its way to the editorial folks.
I found an interesting song that caught my eye due to the title -- sort of where I am today. The lyrics bring the concept of hope to a dismal existence. I enjoy the singer's voice and the enticing rhythms. Enjoy!
Today was brought to you by the word 'tedium.' Working on the laptop, I'd hoped to get through the minutia of formatting references for an article. However, before that began, I had to respond to a couple of e-mail messages. While checking the 'sent mail' I chose to empty the 'deleted items.' when I checked the inbox, nothing was there. So, yes, somehow -- and I'm blaming the mouse in the middle of the keyboard for this one <smile> -- I deleted the inbox. After a very loud sigh, I began the numbing task of moving these back to the inbox. There are always a lot of things in the inbox, since I park things there that need attention. Only then do they move to another folder for keeping or deleting. Today, I moved most back to the inbox as well as other folders. The rest were truly deleted. This little error took just over 2 hours to fix. Once that was done, I began finding the needed references for the article and getting the citation format correct in the text of the paper. That took much longer than repopulating the inbox. I still need to reformat the reference list. I left that for tomorrow.
The work of the day was mind-numbing to say the least. It wasn't truly boring, but tedious, repetitive tasks. I felt fatigued with eyes that needed a rest when I finally put it away for the day. I'm disappointed that the whole project wasn't completed today as planned. There is another aspect of the project that I had planned for the weekend -- something that sounded like fun. I will try to approach it all with a positive attitude rather than the 'just get this done' feeling I have right now. I'm sure the end product would be better with a good approach.<smile>
A song lyric that addresses my need to refocus before finishing the project is shared today. The rhythm and melody provide an upbeat sound to match the advice of the lyrics. Enjoy!
Today I viewed my new abode -- the office on campus. It has adequate room for me and my research files and books. The window -- yes, a window <yay> -- is big and looks out over the town and campus. I hope to revive the plant that I had for years in the teaching office window. Very cool. I met the admin assistant for that building in a hallway that I didn't know existed. Up an outdoor flight of stairs and then up a creaky wooden staircase and down a short hallway, up a short flight of stairs to a longer hallway. I then followed her as she guided me to the room -- down that long hallway, left and up a staircase, down a short hallway and around a corner, up more stairs and the a hall and another short hall and voila -- the office. I wasn't sure I'd find my way out. After the viewing and short discussion about what I needed to order before moving in the next month or so, I followed her down the 'short stairs' -- a mere two staircases and I was back at the door where I'd entered the building. My thoughts were that this building defies the laws of physics, has a bit of Hogwarts magic thrown in and could be like the hotel California.
The building is actually where two buildings were made to meet and I'm sure there is an addition in there somewhere. It is one of the original buildings that were part of the woman's college Mount St. Bernard. I find it delightful in its age and mystery. Last night I had a dream of my visit. It held much of the magic I encountered today. In the dream, I followed a woman (presumably the admin assistant) as we wandered through hallways and large rooms -- two of which held eateries, a fine dining restaurant and a casual coffee shop. There were offices around the edges of these gigantic rooms. We traversed the meandering hallways and staircases through all manner of spaces and there behind a curtain was my 'office' -- a tiny space with barely room for an office but with a toilet room attached - like maybe others had to trudge through my 'space' to use the facilities. Needless to say the anxiety of that dream felt like it was real this afternoon. Yet, the room has more promise than that tiny space in my dream.
I still feel there is the chance of losing my way should I find myself in the back hallways and in the darkness of winter, that may be quite interesting. A friend noted this could be a place where one goes and is never seen again -- like fairies taking me away. <smile>. Of course, the one song that I said out loud is the selection for today. It is sung by a wonderful group from my youth. the version chosen is an uplugged version that is amazing -- yet oddly disorienting in it difference -- just like the stairs and hallways today. Enjoy!
At a social event today -- a strawberry social <smile> -- someone asked me a question that I wasn't prepared for. The man I spoke with was moving into the retirement realm. I've been there for less than a year. When speaking of the research work I had on my desk, he asked me, "What motivates you?" Wow! I paused, clarified that this was in reference to moving to a new place in retirement, and paused again. In that short time, I noted that I'd always found this to to be the 'fun stuff' that I entered academia to do. I have two great colleagues for different projects and we actually laugh at our weekly meetings. The topics involved need to be shared, since others haven't done things from the same perspective. From those, I knew I was where I wanted to be for now.
I understand the trepidation of crossing the void to something new. Much of identity is wrapped up in our work -- actually a vocation. Letting that go can bring some fear of losing sense of self and purpose. If you are open, other projects will present themselves. Trying things on for size is reasonable. If it brings more resentment that your time is not your own, move on to another enterprise. Take time to figure out what is important to you and what interests you the most. It could be reading, taking a course, traveling, cooking, volunteering, or a combination of these and so many other goals. I still have many questions to answer. Answers for each will happen in their own time. No need to have all the answers before making the big decision. One at a time seems perfectly manageable.
Some of these ramblings made me think of a song that tells a bit of a story. To me, the goal is to recognize when something is not working for you and find a way to quit and move on to something new. Life is too short to be stuck doing something that doesn't bring a degree fo joy. The lyrics express the introspective thoughts of someone needing to make a change for the sake of self and identity. That's how I see this one today. Enjoy!
It's been one of those days. Many parts went well, but other things went sideways. The sun shone brightly with a northerly breeze to make it comfortable. I headed out for groceries. Got most things on the list from the first store. The second store had two of the six items I wanted. Now I had two in my basket and was wandering around trying to find the hot cereal aisle. I looked lost and a lovely worker took me to the spot where it should be. It has been added to the cold cereal aisle for the first time in 20 years <shaking head>. However, the major national brand that was advertised just for me by e-mail was no where to be found. Not even an empty spot on the shelf tagged for this brand. Given that there should be extra points awarded for purchasing this project this week, I found this too much. I calmly set down my basket beside the worker and noted that I wouldn't be needing these two items if the store can't be bothered to carry what they advertise as a 'sale' product. I did tell the worker that this was not a reflection of their assistance, but something frustrating from the head office where all such decisions are made.
I stopped at the office after this encounter and spent 15 minutes printing a document and signing, scanning and sending another document. Then I headed home for some lunch and to meet a handy man who was doing a small job outside today. As I sat down later to review the printed document, I realized that the flash drive that held the file was still at the office. <sigh> So, I headed back to the first store and bought the items that were and weren't at the other store. The drive was retrieved but by the time I was back it was supper time. So, very little actual work completed on the paper today.
One song came to mind as I was working my way through the frustration of shopping today. It is from the debut album of a UK artist. This was released seven years ago, but the song still makes me smile when feeling a bit cranky with the way of the world. <grin> Enjoy!
Another sunny day appeared after a cloudy start to the day. The day was filled with emotions that I just can't fully pinpoint. I was trying to get back to a writing project, but felt disoriented. This left me wondering what was at the root of the inability to begin the project. This should take two or three days to complete and polish, yet here I was sitting there trying to figure out what was going on inside me. After some time, I walked out to pick up a couple of things. I took some time to wander two stores looking gor potential gifts for upcoming events. Walking felt good, but it didn't shake off the feeling of being blocked somehow. I chatted with a friend and then just sat down, opened the file and did my best to begin the process. Some work was finished, but much more left to do. Completing references is often mind-numbing at best, and that delightful task still lies ahead. <smile>
The inability to find a cause for the mental barriers today was frustrating. I didn't feel overly happy or sad, just somewhere comfortable in the middle. Maybe this will remain an enigma, or something will surface in the future to explain. It may just be one of life's little mysteries. A song title and chorus line came to mind to explain the only part of how I felt that was clear. <smile> I love the band and the lead on this one is so delicate. Enjoy!
Several music history events occurred on this date. Two will be highlighted here today. The three-day Monterey Pop Festival began on this date 52 years ago. This festival embodied the strong counterculture movement in California at the time. As the first major popular music festival, it served as a model and inspiration for future US festivals that focused on rock music. The first major US appearances of The Who, Ravi Shankar, Jimi Hendrix, Otis Redding and Janis Joplin happened at Monerey, along with many established acts. John Phillips of the Mamas and the Papas, was instrumental in planning this festival. The first song is one that he wrote as a marketing tool for the festival. I've chosen a live version to share from the Festival that shows the crowd some of whom performed during the event.
The second historical event involved the recording of an iconic song by a Nobel prize winning singer-songwriter-poet. The second song shared today is this song recorded 54 years ago today. Enjoy!
The Google doodle today celebrated the jingle dress and dance. The doodle was commissioned from an Ojibwe artist. These dresses have small metal cones attached so that they jingle with movement. The sound has been likened to raindrops on a tin roof. There is a bell-like quality to the jingle that sounds amazing when a group of women are dancing together. Competitive dancing occurs at powwows across Canada and the USA. Years ago, I worked with a woman who danced. The dress and dance symbolize the power of indigenous women. This doodle made me smile today and recall the powwows I attended when living on the prairies.
My day involved the usual Saturday chores. The one difference was the blog. I had notes and full blog posts written for the past week, but didn't get time to type and post with a song. So, today I did the last five blogs in order to get caught up. This fit well with the quiet Saturday at home. I am pleased to get things up to date and will need to find time when traveling in the future, so as not to get so far behind. Readers have nothing to read, which shows in the metrics for the week or two that follows even missing a day or two. I apologize to those who follow the blog for now there are numerous posts for a single day, which could take more of your time to catch up.
I light of the blog writing marathon today, only one song hit my consciousness here. It is by a Canadian band whose front man has a recognizable voice. Enjoy!
Today brought feelings of being lost and disconnected. Anxiety about writing could be part of this. Many colleagues and friends aren't on campus as regularly at this time of year, so it is quieter -- great for working, but less so for the social connections needed to function well. I attended a retirement fete for a short while. It was held in a refurbished building. The space seems much smaller and divided up more, but the windows bring in such great light. Everyone one I spoke to felt positive about their new spaces with some small details that can be fixed easily. Getting used to a new space can be challenging for one, but for an eight floor building many little things can mushroom into larger complaints. We'll see how things go. For now all seems well.
I spent time talking with friends and then went to the pub with them for a drink and supper. Just being with people I know helped me to feel more whole. Lots on the home weekend to do list prepared tonight. I look forward to getting through a number of domestic tasks and preparing paperwork for next week. I hope to fit in a movie, too.
Realizing what a difference friends and colleagues made today took me to a new song. Now I have used another song from this artist already this week, but I so love this new album I am going to share a second selection today. This is the title cut from the album with lyrics that present the importance of others in our lives (and vice versa). Enjoy!
Another tired and unfocused day is nearing an end. Issues of location of work have been top of mind. this may work out well. Only time will tell. Work has not really progressed much this week. Outside thoughts take up much of the time and brain power. I am in the midst of several writing projects. When writing, things swirl around in my head through several versions. When I sit to write, the product comes out in full sentences written earlier in my head. Before getting to the sit down writing, I find I wander about looking for distractions. That usually means I'm nearing the point of getting things on paper or screen. Perhaps feeling unfocused or not getting to the 'to do' list, doesn't mean that I am procrastinating. It may mean that the brain is busy writing in the background and concentration elsewhere is not possible. Or, it means that I am a dithering slacker without direction. <smile>
The song today is from a new album of a woman who began singing over 70 years ago. As she is celebrating her 80th birthday (in July) with concert shows in New York, Los Angeles and Nashville. Many artists will share the stage with her. The song featured here today is the single from her new album dropped last month. The title and theme spoke to me and my need to learn to accept how I work, fix what can be altered and just be kinder to me. <smile> The lyrics hold much deeper meanings. Enjoy!
I went to the office for the first time in a week today. Life has been busy but a bit of a break away from the usual routine. The plan was to ease back into that customary flow. One meeting helped, but other than that and clearing e-mail, little moved forward today. I suspect that I missed a word from two sentences back -- "ease" -- and felt I should just be back to usual without a slower adjustment. Interesting that I don't give myself that benefit or kindness. Instead, I felt frustrated that I didn't get down to the work due in two week. <sigh>.
Being away from home or the office for a few days can be refreshing. Getting a new perspective brings relaxation. However, all the work at the office and home is still waiting when we return. That may bring some anxiety and rapidly remove the relaxed feeling. This pattern occurs regularly, but can create disappointment when it happens. Learning from past patterns might mitigate such letdowns. Facing a realistic return situation ahead of time could help with negative emotions, but this will take some work. It seems we want to escape daily routines, so we may not choose to think of what awaits our return fearing it may take the fun out of being away. This is definitely a conflicted situation.
Lyrics of the selection of the day cover the conflicted feelings humans often have. The song does this with a very relaxing sound -- a bluesy style with one amazing voice. Enjoy!
This day wasn't sure whether to be cloudy or sunny and it changed rapidly all day long. I still feel a buzz from the events of the past week. When speaking about it, though, I was told I was being overly humble. (Can one be 'overly' humble?) Much of the comments and discussions with people at the conference last week may not fit with how I see myself. Inspiring others seems to me to be outside my wheelhouse. Yet, as someone noted there is evidence to the contrary <smile>. Now that spoke my language <grin>. Processing the reactions of others -- all very positive in nature -- presents a challenge. Would it be easier for me to accept negative reactions? That is the way my brain heads often, expecting the worst outcomes. The word for that is catastrophizing -- much as I dislike making verbs out of nouns <smile>. My goals had been to start conversations and thinking by audience members. This can't be measured easily. Yet, the comments and stories shared with me after the lecture provided the evidence that my words had done that. Perhaps it is the power aspect of the words that makes it difficult to accept the degree of success in reaching the goals I'd set. They were high. So, maybe expecting to fail came from that. Learning from the patterns of the past and present, could assist with alterations for the future..
Changing habits can be difficult. Exercising more takes time. Eating differently can feel less satisfying. Thinking in a way that sees self differently feels impossible. These types of altered habits provide healthy lifestyle changes. While we may not be able to fully change existing behaviours, we might be able to move to a place where the healthier habit exhibits itself more often than the less healthy habit. That could work. Such behaviours are not totally dichotomous - do or do not. Perhaps thinking in terms of 'do more' and 'do less' could help to reach that goal. More and less can be difficult to visualize, but if we keep hold of a snapshot of what habits look like now, we have a comparator.
I heard a song while on a plane a week ago that reminds me of the thoughts of the day. The lyrics are interesting and the vocals are amazing. The unplugged nature of the production brings together the lyrics and thoughts so well. Enjoy!
The word of the day has been exhaustion. Events of the past few days left me emotionally drained. Most of this was from positive experiences with a few travel bumps added. For an introvert, large crowds can be tiring. When at the center of attention, while positive, energy drains away quicker. Processing all the sensory input requires energy both during and after an event.
While I completed the usual weekend laundry and grocery shopping on this Monday, I found myself working through the events of the past week. I often found myself thinking 'did you say that line during the speech?' This is not far from the night after the lecture. I woke often with my brain telling me 'this is the next line.' My response was trying to tell my brain to shut down now since that lecture was over. I had a research presentation the next morning that the brain paid not attention to that at all. Situations such as this, adds to the mystery of how a brain functions. It doesn't always make sense. Granted, more stress had been in place for the lecture, yet the stress doesn't fully leave when that was over. Not recalling if I'd stated all points planned in the talk surprised me. I had practiced well enough that I was sort of in the zone on autopilot while speaking. That is not common when I speak to groups - so yet another experience to process. I wrote notes during the day, so I wouldn't forget some parts that needed some unpacking. All the processing of details and major aspects of the days will take several days up to a couple of weeks. Getting past the overthinking of things to reach the key points does take time. Remaining patient becomes an additional challenge <smile>.
A lyric that contains much of the pondering of the day came to mind to share here. Noted are the difficulties resting when the brain hemispheres battle it out while we try to sleep. The repeated title phrase throughout the lyrics mention what I think of often, but don't know how to change -- or if it is possible to change <smile>. Enjoy!
Travel should be easier -- or at least less stressful. Finding ground transport home from the airport created difficulties. The bus schedule noted a later bus was available today, when this could not be booked online. A call to the company told me the same thing -- no late bus. The ticket agent I spoke with four days ago stated that time did have a bus. <sigh> Many shuttles don't run on Sunday. I called them from the airport as I waited for the plane. Luckily, they were running and there was one at a time I could easily make given the flight times. I was to pay the driver. Well, she failed to tell me this was to be cash only. <sigh> So, he kindly drove me to the bank machine so I could pay him -- we were ahead of schedule arriving in town, so this didn't create a problem for him to get the other passenger to 'the boat' -- the ferry to Newfoundland.
Travel causes anxiety and when there is a chance that I will need to stay at the airport hotel for another night, brings more unrest. I met a friend and colleague at the airport and we had a great chat, which helped me to breathe calmly again. I appreciate that I ably problem solved, but it was done with a strong hint of panic. Having patience would be a gift. A rather loud voice in my head builds the anxiety through fear and frustration. Finding a way to quiet that voice will be a gift, too. <smile>
A song lyric covers my thoughts today. It notes the need for patience and to calm that voice of anxiety. Interestingly, this song appeared on an album released 24 years ago by a Canadian artist and topped out at number one in the Canada and the USA charts. Enjoy!
All I Really Want -- Alanis Morissette (from Jagged Little Pill)
Another day started early. The group presentation went very well, followed by many stories and comments from audience members. After the final plenary, the conference was over. I said farewell to many longtime friends and some new acquaintances. A smaller group went on tours of the new Senate building (from a different perspective than my visit earlier in the week) and the newly constructed House of Commons. Each of these buildings is temporary, albeit for 10-15 years. During this time the centre block of the parliament buildings will undergo a major refurbishment. The House was built where a courtyard sat. The new construction has glass coverings to allow in natural light and maintain a bit of the courtyard feeling. Stone walls of the adjacent building are visible, which adds to the architectural interest of the House. We also visited the Memorial Hall, relocated from the Peace Tower. This houses the books of remembrance listing military personnel who died in conflicts and peace keeping missions from recent deployments back to the War of 1812 and earlier. The sun was quite hot by later in the afternoon. In the evening I spent time with my cousins for a visit and a great barbecue supper. It was great to spend time with them and the two dogs and two cats. I could hardly remain awake -- the week took a lot of physical and emotional energy.
Saying goodbye can be so difficult, even when you know you will be in touch with people soon. I'm not good at endings, and big events make this even more difficult. I hope to be at conference next year and see many there again. Others I will be in contact over the next year to do research projects, writing and planning for future conferences. That does help somewhat. Being in contact with many via social media can reduce the feeling of being separate -- similar but different from being face to face. Packing today meant I was heading home. I'm ready to be back in my own space and my own bed. So, it is not all bad.
One song stuck in my head today. Italian lyrics cover the emotions of parting. The singer possesses a truly amazing voice -- even with age it remains stunning. Enjoy!
Wow -- just wow. The day began with early check-ins with A/V techs. Had breakfast and walked a bit to try to deal with nerves. Then it was time. The introduction was amazing and brought a tear or two <smile>. Then, there I was walking onto that big stage to give the award lecture. I encountered some small technical bumps when I couldn't read the monitor on the floor, but managed to use my paper notes in those few situations. Before I knew it, I was into the summary slides. It had been very quiet throughout, but with a few laughs where I'd hoped to hear that. They stood and clapped at the end. A few friends and a cousin told me it went well. My recall was a bit sketchy. Then many other people came to congratulate me and have my photo taken with them. Later in the day, I got lunch in the exhibit room and wandered through the booths. There, many introverts came to thank me for telling my story that obviously resonated with them. I know how difficult it can be to walk up to someone you don't know and speak. So, this meant a lot to me. Several people told me their stories. Again, a privilege for me.
The day ended with dinner out with friends at a lovely restaurant in the older part of Byward Market. Lovely food -- a great tomato and avocado salad, followed by gnocchi with mushrooms, shallots and swiss chard and a dessert cheesecake flavoured with lemon and cardamom with balsamic and black pepper meringue and strawberry-rhubarb compote. The whole meal was exquisite and so much more so with friends. I began to relax as the evening progressed. <smile>
The song shared today ended my lecture this morning. The lyrics reflect how I feel about my profession and career. This one is dance-able and I did see people doing that earlier today. I love the vocals of this singer. Enjoy! This Will Be -- Natalie Cole
We began the day with a welcome from an Algonquin elder who spoke to the recent report on murdered and missing indigenous women and girls. It was very moving. Later in the day the awards ceremony for many familiar faces brought feelings of pride that our profession rests in such capable hands. A former student won the national Morgan Medal for student research. That made me smile. This was followed by the opening reception, after which I had a chance to get the feel of that enormous stage and hearing the sound of my voice in that huge ballroom. The lap mic worked well, but I'll need to stop by very early tomorrow to check on the speakers notes once they can get these up on the monitors. Otherwise, I guess I'm ready to go. <smile>
The day ended with a wonderful dinner with two dear friends. After dinner, we walked to the National War Memorial. The square had been busy earlier in the day, since today marks the 75th anniversary of D-Day, when 14,000 Canadian troops landed on Juno beach in Normandy and parachuted from above. The allied forces landed about 150,000 troops along an 80 km shoreline. This involved major combat, but German strongholds were breached, making this the beginning of the end of the war in Europe. That would take another 11 months and would see many Canadian lives lost and many others wounded. Visiting the memorial felt right today -- a small way of recognizing the service and sacrifice from D-Day and the battles that followed.
Two songs came to mind today -- one for each of the main themes of thought. The first marries a lovely melody with lyrics (in French) that speak to dreams and loss. It seemed fitting for the remembrance of courage past. The second brings an upbeat sound to what I felt at the end of the evening -- as prepared as I will be for tomorrow. Why not a sport metaphor here? <grin> This is from the solo career of a singer-songwriter that has been featured here before as part of the original roots rock group and alone. Enjoy!
What a long but exciting day! Travel hiccups early in the day took last minute problem solving while in near panic mode. Arrived at airport earlier than I'd expected, which gave me time to review speeches, do e-mail and make some notes. Flight went smoothly. At hotel I met with a number of colleagues and two good friends. It was wonderful to have even a short time to visit. The evening held an event for first time conference attendees that was a happening place <smile>. I then headed to meet with a former colleague who is now a senator. She showed me around the new senate building and I sat in the gallery to watch the end of the day's session. The highlight was the first speech by a new senator from NWT. In her traditional Inuvialuk dress, she spoke of her family's history with government policy. She encouraged the group to keep Truth and Reconciliation in mind when debating any bill in the chamber. The other highlight was meeting the National Chief of the Assembly of First Nations, a fellow Saskatchewanian. So, the day was filled with wonderful experiences -- so privileged.
I've chosen a song by a Dene singer-songwriter who grew up in Yellowknife, NWT. She notes that the song is about healing and the impact of colonization, and brings together cultural and popular music. Enjoy!
Many more small tasks done today to get ready for the next few days filled with presentations and visiting in the off moments. It has taken a lot of work to get to the point when things are ready to share with others. Research and writing can be so isolating. It is wonderful to be able to tell others what one has done while squirreled away buried under words, files, and ideas. The constant editing brings thoughts of overthinking every word -- a necessary but painful process.
Moving from the mere idea through expansion of related ideas to a final coherent product brings a form of joy. Being able to discuss ideas with others brings excitement. The whole thing is an amazing journey. So, a song about travel seemed appropriate for today. Love the roots rock group singing this one. Lyrics present aspects of disrupted plans and the frenetic pace that accompanies getting it done. Enjoy!
The day has been full of running from here to there and back again via an even more circuitous route. Many tasks were completed and others set for ending tomorrow. Much of this involves two big presentations this week. Who knew there would be so many preparations involved <smile>? I'm ready to head off to sleep, so the post will be shorter than usual.
I found myself day dreaming while in the midst of multitasking. The latter doesn't really exist -- just the latest invention to make us think we can do and have it all <smile>. The selection today is an updated version of an older song -- as in older than me <grin>. The singers do a wonderful job on this one. Enjoy!
A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes -- Disney Channel Stars
Most items on that infamous list have been completed. <smile> While doing some of the hand sewing and mending, I was listening to a biographical documentary from PBS American Experience about the work of Rachel Carson. It was very well done clearly showing the social and political nature of the 1950s and 1960s along with her writing about the oceans leading up to Silent Spring. Her writing fell into the genre of science communication. Rather than purely research writing, she wrote for the general public. Her works helped people to understand the integrated aspects of nature. She then moved to a discussion of the dangers of human hubris in controlling nature through chemicals and technology. This was a time when side effects of technological inventions on humans was not part of any conversation. If it didn't kill a person outright, it was deemed safe. Her book, Silent Spring, pushed a paradigm shift, where proof of safety became the main concern -- a very dramatic change in regulation of science and technology. She died at 56 -- never seeing the change in mindset resulting from her work.
Later in the evening, I watched Jersey Boys again. The story parallels the careers of many musical acts of the time. From the outside, it may have appeared to be a charmed life, when it held many pitfalls and pain along the way. I will admit that hearing Jersey accents for a couple of hours made me smile. It is a unique sound. The music made me smile more, though. From the early to the later sounds, I found it all fun to hear again.
From this day of biography, I was left with two songs continually playing in my head. Interestingly, they both deal with vision -- much like the two biographies did figuratively and literally. So -- its a two-for kind of day here. <smile> While each has been covered and charted many times by various artists, I'm sticking with the originals for sharing today. Enjoy!
Today was uneventful -- laundry, cleaning, and such and some sunshine outside the window. The task that took a bit longer to complete, was balancing household accounts for the past couple months. It takes very little time when one does it regularly, but I haven't gotten to many of the mundane tasks due to work tasks for much of the last while. So, today the number game took me a couple of hours to complete. Good news - it is done! Bad news is basic things seem to be increasing in cost.
Hmmm. Looking at the cost of basics today had me thinking of how one is to be able to retire. Savings and RSPs are necessary, but how much is enough? All the planning tools I've seen are based on 'educated guesses' -- another area of crystal ball gazing in the guise of evidence, it seems. <smile>. The tools say that some costs become less after one retires and this often mentions clothes. Based on the fact that I live where there are few age-appropriate clothes available, I do spend very little on clothes over a year. I expect this may actually increase in retirement, but not likely by much. So, relying on a reduction in that budget line leaving more for another budget line appears to be pure folly. Perhaps I should buy a lottery ticket or two to help with feeling secure (though according to my e-mail messages I've now won billions of euros). <smile>
Lyrics from the selection today reveal that I am not alone in the worries sustaining self through life <smile>. There were many potential songs to choose from on this topic, but this one seemed to float to the top of my mind. Enjoy!
A bright sunny and warm Saturday. Much of the day involved the usual household chores with a few extras thrown in for good measure <smile>. I have one more item to complete this evening and most of the list will have been addressed.
Why are my time estimates for tasks so far off the actual time needed -- even after years of doing similar tasks? Perhaps I take extra time between individual items. Not that I'm staring at the ceiling, but I always find other little things to do. They just hide somewhere and then jump out at me demanding attention. I could push them back into their hiding holes, but for some reason I just plow forward. Is there such a thing as 'binge chores'? <grin>
I often wonder if I could find the elves or gnomes to do the work while I sleep at night. Never been able to find this in the Yellow Pages or online. There are many other fairy tale ways of getting work done. I chose a fun one to share today. I do apologize for the chipmunk sounding rats <grin>. They are cute, though. Enjoy!
