What an interesting day! The temperature rose overnight and continued to climb during the day. It was 27C when I was driving in late afternoon. The forecasters say that the overnight low will be 9C -- that's almost a 20 degree drop in a few hours. There have been severe thunderstorm risks noted this evening with some rotation within the storm cells -- all in the area around here. Fog is expected into the early morning as the cold air replaces the hot air. While I like summer, I don't love it. As I said several times today, humidity is not my friend. Heat and humidity make sleeping so uncomfortable. At least with the rapid cooling tonight and a cool high of 10C for tomorrow, there will be relief soon.
Another of the anxiety inducing issues that has been hanging over my left shoulder has led to some relief, too. It is a clear feeling of lightness and some euphoria that comes with such events. That doesn't mean that further anxiety from this or another event won't move in again. For now, there is some respite. We have to learn to take this when we can get it. I'll admit to often 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' when I feel, dare I say, happy <smile>. That may be a self-fulfilling prophecy. When the next negative aspect of life enters the days, it must be because we allowed ourselves to feel good for a bit -- that Judeo-Christian work ethic dropping in again. Joy isn't a constant state of being. It is the bits of extreme happiness we encounter throughout the days. Likewise, happiness may be more a feeling of acceptance of the ups and downs and looking at things from a positive place. So -- not a destination so much as a process or way of travelling.
These musings brought a few lines from an old song into the forefront of my mind. The lyrics describe one of the euphoric moments. Enjoy!
This Monday was filled with many meetings -- in person and by phone. It meant a lot of rushing about to facilitate my participation in all the meetings. It increases the anxiety level as the clock seems to take over control for the day.
Luckily this was a rainy day. I could walk out to one meeting -- the third of the day -- which helped recenter and relax me a bit. By then it was a light rain and quite positive for a walk. Earlier in the day, it poured -- actually it POURED. This required that I wear full rain gear -- jacket and pants. Again, I seriously considered buying the Gortex version of my favourite running shoes. The current pair have netting material over the top and this is not water-proof, so when pouring rain, my feet can get wet. The other shoes look the same but have the Gortex layer added to keep water out but they still breathe well. It is either those or a pair of cool rubber boots which may not be as comfortable in wet summer weather. So, for now the second pair of runners is out in front.
Rain songs abound with most looking at rain as a metaphor for negative emotions. As with any day, rainy days can hold a plethora of emotions and are not always gloomy. I thought of the title of this song and felt it could reflect many different feelings. Enjoy!
Here Comes that Rainy Day Feeling Again -- The Fortunes
"To sleep, perchance to dream."-- well constructed words from Shakespeare that clearly state the sleep disruption brought on by anxiety. It isn't just a construction of modern times <smile>. Anxiety dreams take on all forms and generally end by waking the dreamer and leaving them not overly willing to go back to sleep. There was an extremely well done episode of MASH that dealt with this subject, where each of the lead characters had a nightmare based on their feelings of inadequacy when dealing with the constant flow of wounded soldiers. It is a haunting episode, and if I recall correctly, Charles uttered the famed phrase from Hamlet. I've had dreams that create greater fear as well as had the actual issue enter the subconscious and pull be back into a waking state. Either way, the result is a restless and sleepless night.
I've been very tired lately, which seems to be due to disrupted sleep patterns. I use relaxation techniques at bedtime to help me get to sleep. They don't always help if I'm awake in the middle of the night, though. A lovely Mi'kmaw dream catcher hangs in the corner of my room. It is white deer hide with blue beads and little natural coloured feathers. Legend states that the web catches bad dreams so the sun can burn them away each day. The dreams turn into morning dew that runs down the feathers to feed the earth. It is a lovely way to think of bad dreams going away -- an interesting way to help let them go.
The song that came to mind this afternoon fits well with the pondering of dreams. The lyrics and melody each contain calming aspects. Enjoy!
A major thunder storm occurred overnight. These are rarer at this end of the country than on the prairies. Even so, the thunder was phenomenal -- rolling and rumbling for extended periods. More rain arrived with it than had been expected, so the world had puddles today. Skies remained cloudy through the day. There should be some sun tomorrow with much more rain on Monday.
I had a good sleep and felt rested and ready to tackle the chores of the day. By early afternoon, the excitement for the day had washed away. A recent concern had resurfaced taking much of the joy and replacing it with anxiety. Things will be addressed over the coming few days. It has been an overwhelming couple of weeks. Surely it is time for an upswing in life's events.
A couple of lines from a song ran through my head several times today. Obviously, this was to be the song for the day. It says it all. Enjoy!
Could we Start Again, Please -- Jesus Christ Superstar
Besides it being Friday, the day held a couple of other events. One of the grad students from down the hall finished today and will be taking a roundabout way of heading off to Tasmania to do his next degree. We had a last Friday at the pub with him tonight. It is wonderful to see students moving on to the next phase of their academic careers.
Today also marks the release of a new album celebrating 50 years since the beginning of the Monkees (that date is actually in September). Now before you stop reading, this is an interesting album that includes demo and partially completed tracks from studio time in the '60s. Songs by Neil Diamond, Boyce and Hart, and Carol King. With those newly polished tracks are several new songs written by Ben Gibbard (Death Cab for Cutie), Noel Gallagher & Paul Weller (Oasis), Rivers Cuomo (Weezer), and Andy Partridge (XTC). So -- it isn't all oldies. Dolenz, Tork and Nesmith contribute and Jones appears from one of those tracks from the '60s on a Neil Diamond tune. My copy hasn't arrived yet, but I've heard good things from those with a copy already -- die hard fans and critics. Better than expected has been said by several of the reviewers. I'll add my studied comments once I've had time to sit and listen and ponder -- when it arrives in the mail.
For today I want to share one of the early released songs written by Rivers Cuomo. It made me smile. It has a relaxed but up feel and some have said it has that earworm quality, but in a good way <smile>. The song and lyrics channel some of the '60s pop songs. The video is reminiscent of the Monkees TV show and the later animated program. Give it a listen. Enjoy!
Today has been a full day. I got my laptop back from the IT folks who ran a malware scan and found way too many indicators of some nasty bug. It seems to be clean now. It was great to get back to having my regular set up at my desk and something that could forward to the system printers. For many in our building, wifi enabled devices seem to not fully send jobs to the printers. Instead the jobs are held somewhere in the system and are released hours and often days after they'd been sent -- generally after the laptop has been hard-wire connected to the system and wifi has been disabled. Too weird, but it works so we go with it. I got less completed today than I'd hoped due to this disruption, but it wasn't a total write-off of a day. I did some errands after work and finished making my spiced applesauce after supper tonight. The temperature dropped dramatically between noon and late evening, really bringing us back to average for this time of year. I hope to sleep better with less humidity and heat in the house.
I was smiling today when it was clear that the large doses of antibiotics will be finished tomorrow. I had calculated that the noon dose tomorrow would be the final one. When looking at the pills in the bottle tonight, there is a full dose extra --bonus pills <smile> -- so supper tomorrow will be the last dose. I really don't know where I missed a dose. I've been up for midnight, awoken for 6 AM, and taken lunch and supper doses with meals as directed. I have been very anal about this whole thing, so really am not sure which dose was missed. Either way, the bottle will be empty tomorrow. You all may hear me shout for joy when the last of the capsules are swallowed <grin>. They appear to have done their job on the hand infection, so I'm pleased with that.
The song that hit my thought waves today made me giggle. Some of the lyrics and the title speak to some of my feelings today, and while there seems a bit more of a combative tone at times, that, too, isn't fully out of my thoughts of the immunological battle that has been waged inside me for ten days. The multiple parts and melodies represent the chaos of the past many days. I love this piece and this version has several of my favourite voices at work -- particularly Colm Wilkinson, Phillip Quast and Lea Solonga. Enjoy!
One Day More -- Les Miserables cast 10th Anniversary Concert (filmed at Royal Albert Hall 1995)
Sun, heat, humidity and wind ruled the weather outside my window today. It was similar inside the office building, except for the wind, since they have not turned on the a/c yet. The past week has seen emerg visits to the vet, MD and today to the mechanic. The car had been hesitating or chugging along a few times -- not always but when I was headed to the emerg visits last week, the fear that the vehicle wouldn't get there was ever present. When the car was acting up, I've thought the brakes were grabbing or a tire was losing pressure, Yesterday, when I parked the vehicle, a strange noise emanated from the rear end on the driver's side. Nothing visible when I checked. Today it didn't act oddly when I drove to the dealer or when they drove it around. When they looked, it seems the caliper was seized. So, I wasn't far off checking the hand brake or thinking it was the brake system. My father and grandfather would be proud <smile>. So, we are now set for summer adventures.
We do live in a society that tends to rely heavily on personal vehicles. Living in a small town, there is a taxi service and a local bus that can take 45 minutes to get to work, which usually takes 6-8 minutes to drive. If I lived somewhere with great public transit, I'd use it most of the time. I carry a lot to and from work so walking can be troublesome when carrying half my body weight in papers to grade <smile>. I also tend to head for groceries after work, with neither store close to where I live if 'making big groceries' (in New Orleans speak). I do walk sometimes, more often in the winter and take taxis when transporting heavier loads. I will admit to a feeling of panic when the car is acting oddly. It isn't that I need one every day, but it takes away a sense of freedom and makes one more reliant on others to get where one needs to go. If I lived in NYC or London, a car would only be needed on occasions since transit and train systems will get you close to almost anywhere. Longer trips to far flung areas would benefit from a vehicle.
The song that came to mind today was one that I sang when travelling around working for public health years ago. The lyrics carry a bit of that freedom to go where and when you choose and also highlight the joy of sharing music. Enjoy!
This is a short week. After a long weekend, a four-day work week sounds like a second mini-vacation. Yet, while sitting at my desk, I realized today that there was five days of work to cram into those four days. So perhaps this short week is really the price we pay for having a three day weekend. Three of the four items on today's list were completed, so work is already pushing into the next day -- a day that has its own list of things to do. Things seem to be poised to rain work down on me. This time of year requires clear focus and a 'head down' and move forward mindset. Course preparation for next Fall and winter terms and research paper writing are main activities of the spring and summer between academic terms.
The concept that we pay for the breaks we receive is an odd one. Some writers state that this is based in the Judeo-Christian work ethic. Growing up in an area of primary production -- agriculture, forestry, mining and petroleum sectors drive the prairie economy. I've often heard that it is the land of 'next year' thinking. For example, being a nation where weather watching should be the national sport, if we have good weather one winter, next year we expect to get pummeled. In an odd way this seems like we don't feel deserving of anything good unless we've worked darn hard to get it, and maybe not even then.
Thinking of having less time this week seemed to fit the concept that things will change in the future. While the four days isn't fully negative or positive, I find it is an interesting experience to see and hear others and my own internal voice noting the negatives before the positives. The song chosen for today covers some ways of envisioning time even using the arrangement to embody time. The video shows time from an entirely different perspective, too. Enjoy!
Another slow day today. I did watch a movie that I found fascinating. "Young Victoria" has been on my to watch list for some time and it was available this weekend. Emily Blunt plays the Princess become queen. She was able to play the strength of the personage well. The love story between Victoria and Albert during the early years was touching. The screenplay was written by Julian Fellowes, who has also written Gosford Park and Downton Abbey. The story unfolded respectfully. It had just a few minor alterations to the facts, such as the age of Lord Melbourne being far younger than he actually was. The film had among its producers Martin Scorsese and Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York. The costumes and sets were stunning. Indoor and outdoor scenes were amazingly portrayed. I felt drawn into the story, even knowing the history fairly well. All in all, a good way to spend a couple of hours.
That time today helped me to get outside of my own head for a while. Spending time with biopics and biography books has been a favourite pastime of mine for as long as I can recall. As a kid, I read stories of ballerinas, Helen Keller, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Anne Frank, among so many others. I continued to read biographies and watch movies, though found some stuck to the facts better than others. I found the movie about Queen Victoria presented a strong female figure yet showed the depth of an historic love. The end notes for the movie stated that their descendants (from their 9 children) are members of the royal houses of Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Greece, Spain, Germany, Romania & Russia. In the early 20th century, 7 of their grandchildren ruled different nations in Europe leading to the Queen being termed 'the grandmother of Europe.' Biographical works help us to understand the lives of others and perhaps better help us to see our place in the world. Some of my research has involved biography -- particularly autobiographical writings of food service and dietary treatment during the early Victorian years. Perhaps that is why I was so mesmerized by this movie today.
The theme used by the movie during the credits fit the movie so well. I listened and was surprised to read the name of the singer. Her presentation was delightful. Enjoy!
The day was somewhat grey and dreary. Temperature was warmer than I expected and the house got warmer than I'd like. I didn't get much done during the day.I completed a few small chores and cooked some apples to turn into spiced apple sauce in the next couple of days. It is my favourite topping for pancakes and french toast. I don't feel as angry as yesterday, but am very tired and not too engaged with things today.
Sunday often brings some sadness as it was a family day when I was a kid -- we always had a big supper of some kind. Once I moved away from home, Sunday would often be a day for a catch up phone call. While it didn't happen every Sunday -- phone calls were still very expensive when I was at university the first couple of times -- but the day still brings those memories or expectations. Sunday is also the day before the work week starts again, so it can be a time to relax and refocus in preparation. It is a day for picnics, long walks, or a movie depending on the time of year and the weather.
The song for today notes the weight this day of the week can carry with it. The lyrics explain what I've tried to here, but much more eloquently. Many voices have recorded this song, but this is the voice I always here in my head. Enjoy!
For a Saturday, my mood was somewhat bleak. I felt frustrated with many things. When I ran out for milk, it seemed that the wait at the register was too long -- 3 of 4 lines open and two of them had managers called to help explain pricing and specials. I was one of those people last evening at this very store. I'd loaded the offers emailed 'just for me' and then took the time to gather several items to get the special. It was not on my card and when I checked once home again, it wasn't anywhere. So, I could understand the silliness happening at other registers. Then when I presented my cloth bag, the cashier packed things in plastic and then put them in my bag. I unpacked everything and repacked it leaving the plastic behind -- sort of the reason one brings cloth bags along on a shopping trip, isn't it? The other stop I made had me waiting for some time to pick up an order. Everyone was pleasant, it just seemed frustrating to stand and wait so long.
The day got very hot -- well into the 20s and the house is still very warm. That may have something to do with my mood, but that did occur after my anger was clearly with me when I woke this morning. I have to disrupt my sleep to get the antibiotics in every 6 hours. I've been tired for several days now due to that and the meds likely only add to the fatigue. I managed to remain reasonable at both stores, but really just wanted to let loose the sarcasm beast. I muttered a lot under my breath as I walked along the street. Even doing a number of things around the house didn't help the mood change. So -- looks like I'll have to sleep on it all and hope things are better tomorrow.
The song chosen speaks to the undercurrent of frustration I felt and that I saw present in others. Enjoy!
The highlight of the day involved promoting the program to 600 high school students from all around the province. We had a display as part of a larger group of tables and displays. It was exciting to see so many young faces thinking about areas of interest and future plans. The area was rather loud with all the happy discussions going on around us.
This reminded me of information fairs that I attended as a student in Grade 11 and 12 and long conversations with teachers and parents. I knew that I wanted to be in an area of science but wasn't sure what exactly I wanted to pursue. It was all so overwhelming. We could see this look on some faces today as people circled the room more than once or twice. It is a huge decision. Visiting university campuses can help one to feel a bit more comfortable about moving away from the comforts of home. Being able to visualize oneself in a particular location can help quell some of the inevitable anxiety.
These musings reminded me of a song about school. Enjoy!
Today was filled with sunshine and warmth with a mild breeze rather than the colder winds of late. I began the day with several positive conversations. The pharmacists and techs chatted with me about my bite wound healing well so far. My older neighbour was waiting for a prescription to be filled and we had a good chat. We generally wave to each other as we drive out of our driveways in the winter. We see each other more once the weather is more pleasant <smile>. As I walked across the parking lot at the fitness centre, I spotted a colleague who lost his mother in the same way I lost mine. I'd meant to check in with him but fate put us together today to note how things are moving forward for each of us. All three conversations were different, but each left me with a good feeling -- varied emotions, but overall good.
Walking the rest of the way to the office, I thought that such things don't happen as often in bigger cities. Each time I've walked to a store, the bank, the post office or work, I've seen at least one person I know. I had worried about living in such a small town (population 5000 plus 4200 students during the academic year). I felt my anonymity would be threatened. Everyone would know everything. While some of that is true, it hasn't been a bad thing. I can be alone, but I know that I will encounter someone I know on most outings --even if it is just to nod and say hello. I'm not sure I could live in a large city again -- though I do like having the amenities of a city. Interesting <grin>.
A silly song came to me while thinking of the encounters with sun and people. Now I did grow up in a medium sized city (~ 40,000) and lived in large metropolitan areas (several million) as well as larger cities (250,000 to 700,000). So I do understand city living. This song focuses more on rural life. Enjoy!
A warmer day today with bright sun and less cool wind. We should have warmer temps by the weekend, The angry red patch on my hand from yesterday is still red, but seems less vibrant and gives off less heat. Mega doses seem to be doing what we'd expect. The MD said it should be visibly better in two days -- so that will be tomorrow evening. The furry one has been playing with toys and acting a bit more like usual. I hope things keep moving in this direction.
Walking around town today I enjoyed the many magnolias. I've always called them the impossible trees. It seems unreal that a naked tree can be filled with such huge blossoms. There are several varieties around but most are large white or smaller white and pink blossoms. There is a yellow variety on campus that I may need to hunt down. The song for today carries a title about the fanciful spring flower. Enjoy!
Another crazy day today. The fuzzy one seems to be on the mend -- not perfect, but a bit more perky than yesterday. While at the office this afternoon, my hand began to get red and a bit puffy. The universe was telling me something when there was an opening at the MD within the hour. So, while not my usual MD, I went to be assessed and came away with a prescription and instructions to watch to ensure the redness doesn't spread. That means a visit to emerg -- not on my list of favourite activities. On top of all this, the car acted oddly on the drive to the vet last night and again on the way to the MD today. Guess that is another issue to address in the coming days.
Feeling anxious and threatened by something so small made me feel small and less powerful than usual. I just wanted to go home and hide -- horse to the barn mentality. Seeking comfort and safety seems like a reasonable response, provided one doesn't use it to deny a potential threat -- in effect hiding from the obvious.
This morning there was a great song on the Canada AM that seemed to fit so much of the day. It is sung a capella by a wonderful musical artist. In the patter just before the song, his distinct Newfoundlander accent is clearly present. Enjoy!
I accomplished a lot today at work and personally. Groceries were on the agenda after a day of meetings. I got home late and while putting away the groceries and heating supper. it became clear my furry friend was in some distress. An evening emergency call dealt with things for now -- him on the mend and me, too -- from a vicious bite that was aimed at the vet who was poking at a sore area <sigh>. I bled a fair bit, but we got things cleaned up. I did ask if I could have a pain shot like the furry one got but not tonight. <smile>
Interestingly, today is the 50th anniversary of the release of the Pet Sounds album. Seemed very apropos given the sounds I heard tonight that I'd never heard before -- poor little guy. He purred and asked politely for supper when we got home, so I guess I'm forgiven. But just try to get him in the carrier the next time <smile>.
So, I've chosen two songs to share here tonight from the historic album, which clearly put Brian Wilson front and centre as a songwriter, being involved in writing every song on the album. The first deals with the animal sounds heard today, while the second fits well with the need to heal at home. Enjoy!
Today brought the elusive energy to tackle a couple of tasks that have been sitting for some time. Readying messages of thanks to send (though long overdue) and making a phone call to someone I hadn't spoken to for many years -- e-mails yes, but calls no. Each of these took a lot of emotional energy. Positive feelings were involved, but saying things that you feel whether in written or spoken word can be both trying and freeing. Once that first step was taken, I wondered what had held me back so long. Perhaps it was dealing with the unknown emotions these tasks would bring to me. In the end, neither was as bad as I'd imagined. Waiting seemed to build up the angst about how I'd react and how others might view my words and actions. I understand that I can't manage someone else's reactions, but I don't want to cause upset when trying to say something that shows gratitude. Still more effort required in these areas, but for now I've moved along.
As I was thinking of washing my hair, the door bell rang and it was a former student with a delivery that included some of my favourite scones from a bakery down the highway. It was a lovely gesture and I appreciated that she recalled the exact flavour of scone that I must have sighed over during one of our conversations <smile>. Lucky me <smile>.
So -- for a day when I was on the sending and receiving end of gestures of thanks and kindness, I found a song that sort of fits the feelings. It is sung in Spanish at a French music festival by a woman that I know best for her English language works. And for those who need some assistance with the lyrics, the notes include the original Spanish words and the English translation. Enjoy!
After a day filled with cleaning chores, an unexpected call led to a relaxing evening out with a friend. Earlier in the week I heard from another friend by mail -- one that checks in every few weeks just to say hello. That I am in someone's thoughts and actions is humbling and so appreciated. Many people check in electronically, by phone, mail or in person. I try to do the same. There are always people in my thoughts, but I don't always let them know I'm thinking of them. I have to be better at doing this. It is important and I know how good it feels to be the recipient of such thoughts. It made this rainy day turn a bit brighter.
Small actions can mean so much. We don't have to make grand gestures -- little things do mean a lot. If we could each do something for someone in our thoughts wouldn't that be great? An old song came to mind when thinking about this tonight. The singer made me smile as a child -- hope he can do that for you today. Enjoy!
Another day dealing with clearing files, each bringing a flood of memories. Finding some papers was like finding old friends. The photos from one class project that I taught for years, made me smile and laugh. There looking back at me was a younger version of one of my colleagues -- a lot of water under many bridges since that photo was taken. Others brought research memories from different projects and research students. I saved some parts of each of those files and said goodbye to the other papers. One very huge and heavy recycling bag went down the hall tonight. This was from mainly one file drawer. One further drawer that has to be done will need to wait until next week. That one has less in terms of memories, so it should go more quickly.
Many times I've heard to 'just let it go.' It can happen, but it takes the right set of circumstances and feelings to get to the point where letting go is possible. I've been told that this can make a person feel better. There were some positive feelings today from seeing more room in the drawer for the next year and some of the last term files that need a home and from saying goodbye to things that I don't have to keep. Archivist is not part of my job description <smile>. I feel that I've been a bit obsessive about keeping things, but often there just wasn't time to clear files every summer. Too many work activities occur only in the summer months and that is the only time that we can take our vacation -- not easy to take time off when classes are in session, after all. Conference travel and presentations happen mainly in the May-August time frame. There are a few that happen throughout the school term, but those are not on the schedule every year. So -- this cleaning session is a rare event and not just due to my aversion to cleaning work. <grin>
Lyrics that speak to part of my musings today were written after hurricane Katrina. They carry a philosophy that we should all learn to embrace. Enjoy!
The sorting continued, but began rather late in the day. I had an early afternoon interruption when the plumber came to fix the bathroom sink. Seems the water that poured into the baskets of things on Sunday came from the pipe connecting the trap and the sink rusting away from the sink. No wonder there was so much water after doing some hand laundry!. Back at the office I finished the file drawer in the desk. This holds files with ongoing input -- admin and personal (my personnel stuff <smile>). It was quite interesting going through my personal file and re-organizing it all. I did get rid of a number of pages that were likely never to be of use. The best part was recalling some of the activities I'd been part of over the 18 years in this job. These generally made me smile, though there were a few items that brought back negative emotions, but those were part of the journey, too.
Much of what I came across would be great for a scrapbook -- just not sure when the time to put that together might be. I have photos from student successes and documents from consultations that I'd done with media, government and industry. It was enjoyable recalling the great people that I've had the privilege of working beside. So, all in all, more smiles than frowns in the process today.
The sorting process made me think of a song lyric that made me smile more. I don't think that I'm quite at the stage of the people in the lyrics, but there will be a day here and there, I'm sure. The goal is to not stop making more memories <smile>. Enjoy!
Wednesday the middle of the week -- while colloquially referred to as 'hump day' it is not generally a slide downhill to get to the end of the week. I got through a couple of things that weren't on the list for today, and a couple of other tasks that were on the list. So -- not bad overall. I'm still working through the files and sorting and culling. I felt little compunction to save many things, so they went out in the big recycle bin tonight. There will be room for the files of the next year now and the drawer will no longer refuse to open or close as papers pop up out of the files. There are still two other drawers that need to be cleared. I'd hoped to do much of this last summer, but with only one fully functional arm, it became more challenging.
There is a certain degree of freedom with letting files and papers go. Interesting. I'm not sure how admin files (like archives) or research papers weigh us down. My brain works differently than those who love to keep things in filing cabinets. Once it goes into the drawer and the drawer closes, it is like it is gone. Now, I do use the course files regularly, but these need to be overhauled to be even more useful. I tend to file in piles or magazine holders -- items are visible and can be accessed and updated more regularly. Cubbies would work better than closing drawers for me, but few workplaces seem to provide anything other than filing cabinets for employee offices. There are so many ways that workplaces could improve productivity by recognizing the unique needs of employees. Desk layouts, standing work stations, storage options and such could make everyone feel and work better.
A song ran through my head when I realized it was mid-week and fit with my feelings of needing to continue the culling process. While the clearing files is freeing a bit, it is also tedious and brings a feeling of wondering when it will end <smile> -- an interesting intersection of tensions. These song lyrics made me smile. Enjoy!
When I find myself cleaning, it generally is an avoidance activity. Today I planned to clear through some old files to make room for new files and yet I found myself avoiding this task with multiple little fritters that kept popping up in front of me. I should be writing materials for the conference presentations in late summer, so clearing parts of the office makes sense from that standpoint. That I found other things to avoid the avoidance behaviour, made me laugh.
For legal and ethical reasons many files are saved for 1-7 years. I did find that some of the items I'd saved in files were there in sixteen different versions -- the final one is the only one that matters. So, I really need to take a moment to pull the old copy before adding umpteen newer versions to the same file. That is another item to keep in mind for the future. Right now, though, I need to clear out a lot of old paper -- recycling some and shredding others. I got through three of the active files that sit on the desk and on top of the lateral filing cabinet. Tomorrow it is the file drawer in the desk and then two major drawers in the upright cabinet. Some of the papers will be from years back -- and may be the only copy since several hard drive failures have occurred over the years, with many files gone with each failure. I do expect there are duplicates of some items, so sorting and clearing will help find these while making room for the new additions and projects. Sounds simple, but seems to be a bigger issue than I had thought <smile>.
A song that seems to fit today's activities and thoughts is from the early days of an iconic band. While the background sentiment is unpleasant, on the surface the lyrics fit. Enjoy!
Bright sunshine was with us for most of the day. About the end of the work day, the skies to the east changed to dark and menacing clouds. The skies over town remained fairly bright -- blue skies with some white clouds. As I drove home, the skies to the east looked almost navy blue. That colour would mean something very nasty on the prairies -- wind with possible lightening. Here it doesn't mean the same thing. There was to be rain and possibly snow further north and east of here, so these clouds were likely the edge of that system.
Reading the sky is different here, for sure. In the winter, the dark blue sky means snow and likely within 5-10 minutes. With the hills and such, watching weather from a distance isn't as common. I've done it from the cape watching weather systems travel across the water, but from down in the hills and forested areas, weather isn't fully recognized until it is almost upon you. The dark almost navy blue sky I encountered in southern Saskatchewan once meant the bright sunny summer day was about to change. I was driving towards the darker sky. At one point, I came around a curve to be mesmerized by the truly navy sky and turquoise ditch water and the grass was a surreal green. Ahead of me on the road in the distance was a white cloud touching the ground like one sees with rain in a distance. I did snap to as I realized that the road was covered with grass, leaves and stones. Trying to do a 360 degree swivel to see all around me was a challenge. It was at the point of the debris on the road -- which quickly turned to white piles of hail on the road shoulders -- that I realized this was likely something quite nasty -- a wind event. I was looking closely for funnel clouds. I felt that I would pull off at the next town and visit with a relative for a bit before heading along. Then a semi-trailer was lying on its side in the ditch -- the result of a wedge wind. I did pull off and saw that the town was covered in tree branches and leaves, so instead of visiting, I parked by the grain elevator, listened to the news and just waited so the system would be further ahead of me for the rest of my trip. As it was a work trip, I did ask if I could get the "beyond road's end" rates instead of the usual rates, since I had indeed seen Oz. It made me realize that the story of Dorothy and the wizard was based on actual colours during major wind storms and that the switch from black and white to technicolour in the movie made perfect sense.
The song for today deals with the sky ahead of a storm. Enjoy!
Mother's Day -- the first without a mailed gift and a phone call. Sundays have felt odd for the past two months, so today is just a bit more intense. While at the grocery store on Friday, I stopped to admire the flowers, many roses of all colours and shades. They reminded me of my mother. She loved flowers, orchids were a favourite for special occasions. Yet, when sorting through her possessions, it became clear that roses were a true favourite. I knew that -- Dad grew them at home. She favoured talisman roses which are orange at the base and yellow at the tip of the petals. These were the class rose for the lab technology graduates. These were almost impossible to acquire through florist shops, though. She loved deep pink, pale pink and champagne roses. I was aware of some items that she had that held images of deep pink roses but found so many more from teabag holders to bed spread and shams, roses were found in every room. It made me smile as I continued to discover further examples while cleaning.
Now, roses of the pinkish shades will always remind me of my mother. A song from years ago came to mind for the title mainly. It is not a favourite of mine or of my mother's -- a bit maudlin and rather over-produced, but some of the lyrics do say part of what I was thinking today. Enjoy!
While the largest fire disaster in Canadian history rages with expectations of doubling in size over the next couple of days, it is difficult not to spend time pondering the losses of tens of thousands of people. Sadly, once things are under control and cleanup begins, the larger longer term impacts on the economy may be clearer. Canada's oil sands are the third largest deposit of oil behind Venezuela and Saudi Arabia. While this is often thought of as dirty oil, if we don't get a handle on our petroleum consumption we will need to rely on such reserves. With oil prices being as low as they are, oil sands may not be as economically viable as they were when we sat above $65/barrel. After a major fire, getting camps and equipment set up again will take much funding. That means far fewer jobs in that sector of the economy with many more people being without an income. We'll see how things go once the current crisis is over.
Losing everything whether in a fire, flood, tornado or other natural disaster has to be a psychological pain that is difficult to get over or around or through. My grandmother spoke of the fire that burned a full block of the main street in the small town they moved to when farming became too difficult in the 1930s drought. The family lived above a store. Everyone got out and they did get one big steamer trunk out with them. That trunk held my grandfather's WWI uniform and several other items that became heirlooms. After the fire, my grandmother found in the ashes a ceramic egg cup that her brother had given to her. It has some scorch marks on it, but it survived and it now resides at my house. It doesn't look like much, but it holds a world of pain and hope and love in that tiny object. Shortly after the fire, the family moved to the city. They did have many basics of daily living that had been donated by their neighbours -- such is the prairie way, caring for those around us in times of distress. So, the two pie plates and a large lasagna size cake pan (all pyrex like glass) that I use when I bake are from my grandmother, who got these from her neighbours after that devastating fire. Much later, Mom and Dad had 5.5 feet of water enter the basement from a main break -- we lost many things from over 40 years of life in that house and things that had belonged to my grandparents on both sides. That was difficult to come to terms with. The rebuild was lovely, but it wasn't the same and didn't have the same sense of self that had been there. So -- those in Fort Mac and surrounding communities will choose to rebuild or move -- they will survive but things will always be different.
Friday -- that day we often look forward to since it leads off the weekend. For everyone that works Monday to Friday, this is true. For many others, days off fall during the week or not at all. We all need our time to take a step back and try to regroup before starting the next stretch of work days. This weekend is the first in a long while where there is only one item on the 'to do' list that is related to my paid job. The rest are necessary chores to keep the household together. One does need food, clean clothes and a clean place to live. Friday night has often been my time to wind down. Even if the weekends involved more work to prepare for the next week of classes, Friday evenings are my time to relax.
Music, books and recorded movies and television programs are ways I spend my winding down time. Catching up with friends online also can be fun and take me away from work related stresses. A relaxing song that has been a fave since it first hit the airways is shared here tonight. The voice, melody and lyrics combine to let me relax. Enjoy!
While the day began well, even with pouring rain, the afternoon turned into something too tedious to bear. I was trying to enter a manuscript into an online editor for a journal. There are several independent files that need to be uploaded and then knitted into a pdf by the editor site software. I spent two hours entering information into text boxes -- information that was elsewhere and needs to be elsewhere, but for some reason it also needs to be written into these tiny text boxes. The boxes and printed instructions take up about one-third of the screen with no way to increase the size for clarity. The instructions clearly stated that the requested information needed to be included in the article AND in the teeny, tiny box. Copy/paste was supposed to work, but didn't for all boxes. Some information is generally in a cover letter, but needs to be input into the numerous boxes -- I lost count. I had expected the process to take about 90 minutes -- it is not as user friendly as the web site makes it sound -- this time estimate was before I encountered the up front boxes. I had to leave at the end of the day and did not want to continue the process for another couple of hours. So, I closed the program. I sincerely doubt there will be anything there when I go back in tomorrow. But that may be my only task accomplished tomorrow -- 3+ hours of entering a document file that has to be taken apart and uploaded as 5 or 6 separate files and then re-constructed into a single document again. Who thinks this bureaucratic style form nonsense makes any sense at all? <sigh>
I will admit that when there are a number of things that need attention in a day, spending hours on a single overly complex task does not sit well. Patience leaves rapidly when faced with continued information requests. My tolerance for such work can be minimal. However, knowing it will take twice as long as expected, I will tackle the task again tomorrow but will be sure to wear my iPod to help me focus and remain calm. The opening lines of a song came to mind that describe the afternoon quite well -- so I will share that here today. Enjoy!
The images online and in the news has been unbelievable. The Fort McMurray fire is nothing short of a catastrophe; yet, with 88,000 people evacuated there have been no reports of human life lost. The emergency responders for the area are to be commended for their organization in getting everyone out. Families are spread throughout the north of the province -- in work camps, town halls and anywhere there is room. Many people have facilitated spaces for evacuees to stay. While areas of the city have been razed, the strength of the community has been made clear in media interviews and on social media. While they are all away from a house and possessions, most are safe with their family members, with some noting that they would rebuild the town that they have made their home. It is interesting to hear that defiant attitude in the midst of the disaster. It is not uncommon, though. We see the resilience of humans as individuals and as collectives -- perhaps seeing the best of people in the face of extreme fear and loss.
My heart goes out to those away from their dwellings wondering what they might return to when allowed back. The strength and capacity of the community will take them through the rebuilding process, as will support from those not directly affected by this fire. A song of hope came to mind -- one that includes a video showcasing the strength of community. Keep the Fort McMurray community in your thoughts. Enjoy!
Who Says You Can't Go Home -- Jon Bon Jovi & Jennifer Nettles
There is a hole in the world today. An amazing woman left us yesterday. I've known her my whole adult life -- high school onward. She was the mother of friends of mine and she and I have kept in touch all these years. My parents became close friends of she and her husband and I never went back to Moose Jaw without stopping to see her. She always had a smile and loved to laugh, even when things weren't always sunny for her. When both she and my mother were widows, they were even closer friends. When mom was still driving, she would pick up this lady and others who were 20 years older than mom, and off they would go to Curves to do circuits at a slower pace than the 'younger' crowd. The two of them went to coffee with a large group every Thursday and to brunch with many of the same group on Saturday -- it was their routine, even after mom stopped driving, another friend stepped in to be driver.
My friend, and she was like another mother to be honest, was the kindest person I've encountered. She cared about animals and always had cat rescues in her home until she moved to the seniors' apartment complex. While in their house, there were always strays that were cared for in their yard -- fed, watered, and even given a heated self-enclosed shelter with an entrance at the side of the garage. She felt strongly about the need to share this world with all animal and plant species -- felt it was our duty to ensure all were taken care of and would be around for centuries to come. I recall having a first birthday celebration for my cat, Toulouse and wondered if people would come -- she fully understood why I would think this was a good idea and was the first to say yes, before I even had to explain it all. I found pictures of that night when sorting through some of mom's photos in March. My friend taught me many things -- things I quote to others. Sunday was the most recent time I shared her statement that 'we shouldn't wish our lives away' -- one I've used here several times. <smile> My Nutrition in Aging courses have heard her wisdom often. That won't change.
We had many wonderful dinners at her house and my parents' house over the years. As an undergrad student, she would send a care package of Christmas cookies back with me to school. I loved the braided shortbread candy canes in red and white. <smile> She made great hot crossed buns, cabbage rolls and perogies, too. Three women, of which my mom was the youngest would celebrate their birthdays together since they were all within a 9 day period in February. I recently found pictures of those events, too.
Many songs ran through my mind after getting the news this morning, but lots really focused on my feelings of loss rather than on this wonderful woman. She often said that people shouldn't live as long as she did and see the generations younger than them begin to leave. She turned 100 last February. I always told her that if she was here, it was for a reason. Her life touched so many people. She was a school teacher in a one room school on the prairie when she began and her career ended after many years of teaching grade 2 in a k-9 school in the city. Students still spoke fondly of her almost 40 years after she retired. She was special and these lyrics help me to express that here. Enjoy!
I slept in today -- I was so tired at the end of yesterday's events. So, I chose to take today off from the office. My overall feeling was one of being a bit down. This feeling comes and goes these days, but I haven't had a full day where the feeling was so overwhelming for a while now. I tried to do several different things. I went out for a walk and to chat with a friend to get some advice for another issue. That went fairly well. Even walking, didn't really help my mood as it usually does. So, when I got home I began to pull together a few things that I've been meaning to put out on bulky waste pickup day, but I've missed the last two (and there are only two a year). Tomorrow is the next day of this sort. I'll trundle the stuff out in an hour or so, since I always seem to wait for dark to take the garbage to the curb for early morning pick up. Don't know why, I just do <smile>. I took some time to cook a fancier recipe for brussel sprouts -- that process took my mind elsewhere for a bit, but not really very far from my negative feelings. The end result was delicious and went very well with the poached eggs on focaccia for supper.
So -- I've tried the things that usually help me to get out from under the weight of sad feelings. Nothing really did the trick today. One of the many lyric lines that went through my head today was from the selection I share here. It is a song I haven't heard for a long time and I'd forgotten the full set of lyrics until I listened again. The line that had presented itself to me was part of the chorus. The singer was one I listened to a lot years back -- always enjoyed his voice and I still do it seems <smile>. Enjoy!
On the first Sunday in May, we celebrate convocation on our campus. The day was bright and sunny -- cool winds off the ice on the water kept us from feeling too warm <grin>. It was just a taste of things to come, much like the day holds such promise for the many graduates who will move into the next phase of their lives. It was a great day with a super group of students graduating from our program. Getting to meet their families was wonderful as always.
This first Sunday in May is also known as Battle of the Atlantic Sunday, a day to commemorate the longest battle of World War II.. This ended 71 years ago. It began in 1939 and ended in 1945, running the length of WWII. The ongoing battle ensured that supplies made the treacherous trip from Canada to the UK. The Royal Canadian Navy ran interference for the Merchant Navy that carried the needed supplies. It was a high risk situation for all concerned, carrying a high mortality and injury rate. My uncle was part of this operation.
In honour of the many men involved in the Battle of the Atlantic, I chose two songs to share today. The first is the authorized march for the RCN, while the second song is the US navy hymn, and one that also is sung often for all who sail. (since it is the first day of lobster season locally today, too.) Enjoy!
After a mundane afternoon, we gathered on campus for the farewell ceremony for tomorrow's graduating students. A new tradition began tonight, as we processed from the chapel to the reception hall -- a long line of gowned students and faculty winding across campus led by candle light. It was quite lovely to see. There will be many times in the next 36 hours when this group will meet, celebrate, say goodbye, and laugh and cry together. It is an ending and a beginning that bring myriad emotions. I understand those emotions. Seeing it all takes me back to the time I was where they are now -- leaving to go to the next step in the career and life. It is exciting, frightening and definitely worrisome when the support group we have grown to lean on will no longer be right beside us. I've thought much this week about how much easier it will be for them to keep in touch than it was in the dark ages when I first graduated. Technology has seen to that. So, maybe they won't be as alone as they fear right now.
A song that says goodbye while understanding the feelings that go along with this was my choice for today. Enjoy!
