Day 7 - 182 -- Unexpected Happenings

The day began with hot water. I got a fuse changed, but that did nothing. It seems the heating coil has ceased to function. Tomorrow is a holiday, so it will be Thursday before the replacement arrives and is installed. I will need to pretend I'm camping and heat water for dishes and bathing. <smile>

Once the water issue was settled, it became clear the furry one was in some distress. Everything was fine last night, but by early afternoon something we've seen before resurfaced. I called and asked the vet to call me back since the office was booked solid today and again for Thursday. He told me to bring him in and they'd fit him in where possible. So, out we went and sat in the parking lot until the vet came to fetch him. It took 5 minutes to clear the issue and we headed home. Furry dude is sleeping -- missed morning sleep due to visitors for the water heater and afternoon due to his issue. He is one tired boy.

What was to be a quick visit to the library, became longer. The librarian worked diligently to help me place holds on the newest version of a set of reference books. It took a lot of time, and she worked with other patrons as we went along so others didn't have to wait for us to figure out the glitches in the software that I'd encountered. It appears things are on hold -- we'll see which turn up for me, since I had a hold placed on on volume and received an older version when I went in yesterday. It appears things are back on track. We'll see what transpires.

So -- having written about the mundane nature of the past couple of days, today certainly pushed me out of that rut -- not sure I like how life did this, but will not complain -- well, not too loudly <smile> There is a need to breathe through the onslaught or roll with the punches. A song with a similar sentiment fits well today. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Roll with the Changes -- R.E.O. Speedwagon

Day 7 - 181 -- Nothing Amazing

The day began later than expected when I slept through the alarm. After adding caffeine into the system, I got ready for an online meeting to discuss possible edits of a piece of research writing. I then headed outside to run a couple of errands. One worked well and the other didn't. So - 1 out of  2 isn't bad. <smile> I will need to return to one venue again tomorrow to try to clear up the mix up in my order. Luckily, it wasn't something needed immediately. A delivery brought a new adapter for an electronic device. One arrived almost two weeks ago, but didn't function. The one today works like a charm. So -- maybe I should move the good things meter up to 2 our of 3 <smile>.

The house cooled well last night, and I am hoping to continue this pattern tonight. The rest of the week is to be hot and humid again with a break nearer the weekend. I cooked using the stovetop again tonight, which felt great. I do love cooking.

It seems this was another day of mundane ordinariness. <smile> A song lyric that deals with the minutia of a day came to mind. It even mentions a similar weather report to one often included in this blog <smile>. I'll share that one here tonight. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Busy Doing Nothing -- The Beach Boys

Day 7 - 180 -- Just Another Day

It was cooler out today with heavy cloud and sporadic periods of rain in the afternoon and evening. Prior to that it was spitting a bit. The house cooled slightly or perhaps it just didn't heat up as it has been doing lately. By evening, it was definitely cool outside for the first time in a long time. Windows open with hopes of coaxing some of that cooler air inside. <smile>

The migraine still here, but this may be the downside. I'll know for sure tomorrow. I finished the laundry and ran out to get milk, eggs and tea biscuits. Too hot to bake at home at present <smile>. At the pharmacy, I was the only one with a mask -- and there were several people there. At the corner store-sized convenience store, again, no one else had a mask on .There were 8 people in the place and that was the limit for the store size. Two cashiers behind plexiglass did not wear masks either. As I was leaving, I encountered a woman putting on a mask before entering the store. I paused to tell her how good it was to see someone else wearing a mask.

I actually cooked supper, rather than reheating it, since the kitchen was cooler today. Two reports with revised due dates of Monday and Tuesday were completed. That was pretty much the sum total of my day. Nothing too exciting.

I was reminded of a song recently when watching Laurel Canyon and this band appeared. The lyrics also fit well with my desire to go many places that just aren't here and see many people that aren't close enough to see at present. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Six Days on the Road -- The Flying Burrito Brothers 

Day 7 - 179 -- Fuzzy Thinking

Woke with migraine pain today. Meds helped but a combination of dizziness and nausea persisted through the day -- day three for this one. I did the first load of laundry at 5 PM. The rest of the day involved sporadically looking at social media and recorded TV programs.

So again, a less than productive day unfolded. I'm not feeling lazy this time, but I was sorry to have to tell others that deadlines would be missed by a couple of days. Telling myself that was even more difficult. When I tell people about being waylaid by a migraine, I'm not searching for sympathy. I just dislike having to tell people that cognitive functioning is affecting, which makes writing coherently a challenge. So, I do need to wait a day or two so the final product is something more useful to recipients.

This song title fit where I felt I was today. Familiar sounding lyrics describe having a sharp tongue or short temper when things hurts -- thankfully, not always, but there have been days. <sigh>. The rhythm of the song felt soothing today, too. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Valley of Pain -- Bonnie Raitt

Day 7 - 178 -- Learning New Tricks

People can be their own worst critics. This may lie in the need for perfection. I had a great plan for today; it didn't materialize fully. I slept poorly so rose later than I'd hoped. I had a virtual appointment that went well -- technology on side for a change. I spent time in a sweltering office on campus as I found electronic and paper files needed for the next reports. I left there 45 minutes before a campus-wide 12 hour power outage. So -- I didn't get to write a report due by tomorrow and another by next week. Notes are ready for all reports, but coherence for comprehension is needed for others to understand the key points.

I felt frustrated that things didn't end as planned today, but I had been occupied during the day -- no sloth involved. Yet, I still seem to think I could have done more. As someone, once asked me when I was moaning about missing a self-imposed deadline, "Did anyone die?" <sigh> I an be a hard critic and expect much from myself. Treating self with kindness seems difficult. Is my 'to do' list a measure of self-worth? Now that's a scary things! I've told recent retirees of late that it takes a year to allow yourself to watch a movie and not do six other things at the same time. Perhaps as academics, the measurement is based on productivity. So not too odd that we feel inept at times given that environment. One more things to work on -- and yes, that is another list <grin>.

The title of the song chosen to share today says it all -- a hard lesson to absorb. This recent version shows that old dogs can learn new tricks -- hope spring eternal! <grin> Stay safe. Enjoy!

You Can't Always Get What You Want -- The Rolling Stones

Day 6 - 177 -- Musical Broadcast History

WOW! Felt like the hottest day so far and the most humidity I've felt in weeks. The day began with a coolish breeze but turned on a dime to mega-heat and mounting humidity. I worked indoors with a meeting and several reports and information bits that need forwarding to others by tomorrow or Saturday -- Too many things with deadlines all at once. Bizarre how these just sneak up on you. <smile>

I had a great chat with a friend that helped me to see humour in the events of the day and not just the darkness. I've said it before, but it bears repeating -- I am so lucky to have such great friends.

Today is Global Beatles Day, celebrated on June 25 for over 12 years. This particular day was chosen as it was the day The Beatles did All You Need is Love that was broadcast internationally in 1967 -- the first times this happened so it was a really big deal <smile> with satellites and such.Watch this brief explanation of the historical moment.  So, it seemed that the song should reflect my day and the global celebration of a group that greatly influenced music, culture, fashion and business. Be well. Enjoy!

All You Need is Love -- The Beatles

Day 7 - 176 -- Crystal Ball Gazing

The heatwave continues and my day was spent indoors online with meetings and virtual conference sessions. Humidity is a bit higher than yesterday so it feels a bit stickier inside. The events of today had me reflecting on how daily routines have changed so much over the past 100 days when I officially began isolating. While we see communities "opening up" a bit more and people able to travel locally and meet in groups on occasion, I'm still wearing a mask when away from home but inside a building with other people I don't know. I still social distance and have to bite my tongue when others don't. I carry hand sanitizer and use it if a business hasn't put sanitizer by the door for people entering and leaving. The news of loosening guidelines a small bit and that no active cases exist in the province with no new cases in almost two weeks, may give an unintended message -- that this thing is over and we can just do 'normal' things again. Well, we can't. I don't want to see numbers increase locally, but do expect that this may occur sooner than later. <sigh>

Much of my career was in community and public health, so I have seen disease outbreaks and localized epidemics. This pandemic is global and the disease is less treatable and more virulent than other more common viral and bacterial outbreaks. No one alive has lived through a disease pandemic of this nature. My grandparents and great-grandparents lived through the 1918 flu epidemic, from which epidemiologists learned many things about how to curtail community spread. These have been working well and will need to continue until we have a vaccine with a good efficacy level. Once one is developed and enough produced to vaccinate the world, it will take time to get it all rolled out to people. Only then might we be able to be freer to a greater degree. What that will look like is nothing more than wishing, guessing and hoping. <smile> Until then, masks will be the new fashion accessory at my house.

A song I head when I ran an errand this morning seemed apropos for the many thoughts I've had about life today and tomorrow. The pandemic inspired the lyrics. Stay safe. Enjoy!

6 Feet Apart -- Luke Comes

Day 7 - 175 -- Summertime

It was somewhat cooler overnight, which helped a bit with sleeping. I woke earlier than usual in order to attend a morning meeting about new software to record research activities. It was done via MS Teams, which created difficulties when trying to join the meeting so I missed the first few minutes. A second meeting for the day involved the annual general meeting of a professional association. I ran an errand in the afternoon heat -- felt unbelievable but the breeze helped if you managed to stay in the shade. By late afternoon, I fell asleep, likely due to the combined efforts of the heat inside and my general fatigue.

Today, I completed the largest puzzle I've ever done -- 1000 piece of 1980s events and people -- about 150 different images in a collage format. It was a very interesting process that helped to give my mind a break at times over the past couple of months, generally while waiting for the kettle to boil or other items to cook. Now I plan to use the dining room table for work on the stamp collection -- update the catalogue with acquisitions since last summer. There is so much more to do there, but I'll begin with the updates and deal with methods of storing and displaying later.

I was startled by a bizarre noise outside that sounded for all the world like a larger mammal rustling in the bushes. I got up to check out the various windows to see what it might be and could see nothing. Then, I heard a distinct loud buzzing that sounded more like a weed or hedge trimmer being operated a few doors down but it was full on dark and late in the day. (A friend noted that one shouldn't trim a topiary in the dark <grin>.) With the sound,  I knew exactly what was outside the window -- the delightful (creepy actually) June bugs. They are loud and bang into the side of the house and the windows -- loudly since they are of a size. So, nature mystery of the day solved.

The song today was inspired by the weather that surround this end of the country. Hot! <smile> Stay safe. Enjoy!

Hot Fun in the Summertime -- Sly and the Family Stone

Day 7 - 174 -- (dis)Trust

It is warming up again and heading into jades temperatures in a couple of days.Temperature and humidity forecasts remind me of tropical air -- think Bangkok, Singapore or New Orleans-- but without the a/c in all buildings. This is the type of weather that often sends me to the mall or Main Street to wander through stores and cool a bit. Given the pandemic situation, I don't feel that I want to spend time with so many people whose personal protection habits I know nothing about. So -- this lack of trust means that I will need to find other ways to cool me and the furry one when things get too hot at home.

Trust. That is something that has occupied my thought of late. Trust can mean many things. Do you trust me? Do I trust you? Do I trust myself?  Each is similar but different. The definition of trust involves assurance or belief in the character or truth provided by someone or something. I would like to trust people, but have learned that not all folks are as forthright as I'd prefer. We are not all the same. <smile> The old adage states, "once burned, twice shy." Many people learned early in life to reserve trust in many cases. Moving to a place of trust became a difficult journey. Yet, when one can get there, anxiety lessens and a feeling akin to calm rises. It will be a challenge for some people, but it seems a goal worth well worth the effort.

Maybe more trust would make the world a better place. That is something I'd like to believe. Lyrics that say what I have thought are in the selection shared today. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Don't Back Down -- Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Day 7 - 173 -- Day for Dads

Woke late from a good sleep. The cooler air in the house helped with getting some rest. I spent the day doing a number of household tasks and working through numbers of household accounts. Now, numbers are so not my thing. I can do it all, but it is far from enjoyable. I'd hoped to get to some correspondence but that will need to wait another day or two. 

Through the day, my dad came to mind often. I thought about how I just wish I could give him a call to tell him some of the good news things that have happened since we last saw each other and to ask his advice on several other things. I  am so lucky to have had such a wonderful dad who helped me become the person I am today. A social media friend asked viewers to name one major thing they learned from their dads. I responded with kindness. Dad knew so many people and seemed to understand what he could do to help when needed. He was great at choosing gifts that meant so much to the recipients. This came from a place of understanding who they were and showing them kindness. He taught me some basics of car care, diagnosing strange car sounds, and simple household repairs. He grew many plants from a home garden to flower and rose beds to fruit trees; our yard was wonderfully landscaped with gorgeous plants. A favourite of mine were gladiolus. He and I would check stored corms each spring and then head out to find some new colours to add to the mix each year. I still try to purchase a bunch or two each August when local growers bring them to stores. I miss him a lot. So, when a social media message from a local restaurant posted its Sunday special, I smiled and called in an order right away. Dad loved roast beef and would cook a roast most Sundays when I was growing up. The special today was a great mix of both of us. It was beef brisket (him) on a bed of cheddar jalapeno grits (me)  served with green beans and beef jus (both of us). I picked it up at the end of my evening walk. It was so amazing. So, I felt dinner brought me closer to him again. 

Lyrics from the song for today note much of what I've realized over the years. While the lyrics are written from the point of view of a young adult son, I believe they fit well for this slightly older daughter, too. <smile>  Stay safe. Enjoy!

Song for Dad -- Keith Urban

Day 7 - 172 -- Changes All Around

Temperatures dropped overnight to be cooler but seasonal. Open windows helped some of the breeze cool inside the house. Thankfully, the air is drier today. I ran a couple of errands in the afternoon. One worked and one was closed even though the lights were on and the 'open'sign was lit. Just odd. I will try that one again next week.

Back at home, some household chores were done, but much as I tried the 'to do' list items did not get the attention needed. I woke earlier than usual today and awake later last night -- a combo that made me very weary by mid-afternoon. So, impetus to work on items that need to be done and ones that I'd like to do, just wasn't there. So, again there is more to push into tomorrow. With cooler, drier air, I should sleep better than the past two nights. The forecast indicates that I should sleep while I can since the coming week will be hot and humid right into next weekend. <sigh>  Guess, I need to be prepared. <smile>

Yesterday, I read about research from Carleton University that dealt with procrastination. Findings indicated that it is not necessarily a marker of laziness, but instead an outcome of emotional conflict with the tasks involved. Some seem so huge they intimidate the individual. Knowing that much emotional energy may be involved in a task causes people to avoid starting them. In terms of strategies to deal with such tasks, researchers noted that one should determine what the first step needs to be and move to it. This avoids trying to work through the many steps needed to get to the end point. and feeling panicky. I recall speaking to students often about a story I read years ago. A boy in about grade 5 was overwhelmed with a school project. When he explained the need to write a report on the birds of North America and not knowing how to begin, his father simply said, "focus on one bird at a time." Perhaps once again, I've encountered the need to take my own advice <smile>. I tried this yesterday with an item that needed to be redone and would involve arguing with software, I was certain. I looked at where I needed to be to start and stepped into the process, trying to focus on one step at a time. It did get completed. Today the tiredness seemed to interfere with trying this thought process again. New approaches require practice, so I won't think of today's inaction on some fronts  as a failure

Early this evening (in Atlantic Time zone), summer began. Since this season brings smiles to many, particularly if it isn't too hot or humid <smile>, an uplifting song about summer seemed appropriate for the blog. This one was written by Andy Partridge of XTC. These lyrics note summer activities and that such memories can bring summer along at any point in the year. Stay safe. Enjoy!

You Bring the Summer -- The Monkees

Day 7 - 171 -- Resiliency

This afternoon it was  35C (96F) before humidity (and not in direct sun). House cooled a bit overnight to about 26-27C (79-80F) -- and that was a noticeable cooling <sigh>. Standing and making breakfast with microwave and kettle caused me to begin to sweat. The humidity is rising during the day to make for even greater discomfort. Cooler nights are expected for the two nights after tonight. The province issued a heat advisory today. And to think, three nights ago we had a frost warning. <sigh> For those who haven't read this blog often, you will soon realize that summer is not my fave season. I prefer the transition seasons of autumn and spring and would like to shorten summer and winter extremes. However, I'm not exactly sure where one would need to move to have that combo.

-- yesterday, a wonderful songstress left this world at the age of 103. Vera Lynn was a favourite of my dad -- and many other parents of folks my age. I loved her voice. It had such a soothing quality to it. I didn't recognize the role that played until I was into adulthood. The lyrics she sang in that soothing way, had helped Britain and the Commonwealth nations through WWII, particularly those living through the blitz, transport of children, and armed conflict situations. The songs became anthems that upheld group morale and provided hope during the physical and mental health struggles of the time.

More recently the role of Vera Lynn's music would have been labeled as providing resilience. Much health research of this determinant of well being has occurred recently. I heard a keynote address on this subject at a virtual conference four weeks ago. The concepts brought forth by Dr. Robyn Hanley- Dafoe have been working their way through my daily reflections, particularly given the many new stressors of the  past 99 days since WHO announced a global pandemic. A few comments struck a chord with me. She noted that during a crisis, people need to know they will be OK. While we may be "hardwired for struggle," when things become difficult to handle often a feeling of failure enters our minds. Dr. Hanley-Dafoe stated, "Life is HARD. You are doing it" rather than ending that sentence with the word  'wrong' as we might be prone to do. A key coping strategy I took away involved expectation management. We expect so much from ourselves and sometimes from others. We can't be at the same productivity level as before March 11, 2020 with all of the extra stresses. This has led me to making shorter 'to do' lists and giving myself permission to not get through things in a single day. Some days other stuff arises that requires our attention. Some days we don't have the energy -- physical or mental -- to move that agenda forward. Some days we just need a break from it all. Whatever the reason, do what we can and be kind to ourselves and others along the journey. While it might have been a great day by my expectations, others might have had a less than stellar day. Recognizing that helps us to help others, which in turn reinforces our perceived value to others. I plan to continue to work through the coping strategies to be more resilient. I'm sure some of that may enter this blog space, too. <smile>

The calming and healing power of music was one of the reasons I started this blog. It provides me a place to reflect and work through the days and provides an outlet for the creative parts of the brain. Today the song choice is by Dame Vera Lynn -- and was one of Dad's favourites (fitting as we enter Father's Day weekend). It is one that I sang for him when I was in London a few years back as I walked through the title place. One line seems especially fitting for the current situation  -- "the whole darn world was upside down." Stay safe. Enjoy!

A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square -- Vera Lynn

Day 7 - 170 -- Bursting Bubbles

Sunny and HOT visited today bringing the gift of humidity, which built through the day. As usual, the house heated up as the day wore on trying to keep pace with the outdoor temperature. Sadly, that competitive edge doesn't continue once it cools a bit outside. Dehumidifier is now running constantly, so it must be almost summer -- a day and a bit away.

The Premier and Chief Medical Officer of Health announced that the small exclusive family or household bubbles -- where two household chose to visit each other only -- would be replaced by gatherings of up to 10 people with no distancing required. They strongly recommended that the 10 be an exclusive grouping to avoid broader exposure. They called this 'bursting the bubble'.  There is hope that this will expand to include other adjacent provinces into July and maybe even those from all provinces by later in July. The defining factor will be the numbers of  new cases that arrive. We've had 9 days without a new case, so curves are heading in the desired direction. Masks will still be recommended when distancing may be difficult in public -- like grocery shopping with folks who choose not to follow public health directives. Groups of up to 50 who maintain 2 meter distances will be allowed now, too. So, reopening continues.

Inside the house, I had a research meeting and a couple of personal conversations during the day. With one friend, when making plans for our meeting next week, it was suggested that we might meet on the porch or in the yard based on the new rules. The more I thought of this, the more it sounded wonderful, though tears are still involved with the idea of being able to visit in this way again. The solitary confinement of sorts, has felt very isolating -- the point was to isolate but the mental health isolation has been difficult. So -- I'm trying to see these forward movements as positives.

The lyrics of the chosen song today mesh well with some of my feelings and thoughts on the bubble business ending. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Tiny Bubble - Paul McCartney

Day 7 - 169 -- Sloth?

I was sunny and hotter today. Most of the day spent online with five meetings of various sorts. Wednesdays seem to be my big work day so I try to cluster things when I can, and then other stuff just lands on the day, too. I was able to prepare supper during an early evening meeting that ran late. So, while a lot of reading and writing didn't happen, the day was far from unproductive. The difficulty for me comes when there isn't anything tangible to hold onto or point to at the end of the day. Measuring productivity may need a new  rubric or set of metrics.

I'm not sure why I feel somewhat slothful when I've been occupied with non-tangible tasks like I was today. Obviously, I learned that success came in things that could be measured. Simply saying I had 5 online activities doesn't seem worth counting if nothing else came from it. Perhaps this stems from the Judeo-Christian work ethic. In any case, it provides something to explore further to determine how to best define a successful day. 

A song from childhood came to mind, though the version shared here is much more recent and more jazzed up. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Lazy Bones -- Harry Connick, Jr.

Day 7 - 168 -- Seeing the Positives

It has been a sunny and warmer day. I began the day with vacuuming  and as I told a friend, the day could only go up from there. Well, maybe, maybe not. <smile> The process took a lot of energy as usual but it felt good to have physical activity in the day. Not walking everyday due to weather or silly schedules. I do get out several times a week, just would like to do this daily. Life has been a bit more sedentary than I prefer.

A short list of quick online checks showed that an item that was to arrive this week now has a delivery date two weeks from now. The order was placed a week ago, but hasn't gone to a shipper yet. <sigh> It will get here eventually. Another task required registering for access to a secure site. The instructions called processes by different names than any buttons or pop-ups. So very frustrating. At one point instead of registering, I was presented with a page for account recovery. Very weird. Finally tripped over the correct pages only by accident. As a government sponsored site, one would wish the instructions would be clearer, but having worked in that setting in years past, I do understand how bureaucrat-eze can take over communication <sigh>.  After two hours messing around with this process, I was able to check the necessary information that adds an extra layer of complexity to a tricky question I'm pondering. Imagine! The next ordering procedure went fairly smoothly despite a database that doesn't include things that are always in stores. It least it worked better than the other online tasks today.

Today, again, required patience. I did feel less frustrated than expected when confronted by major barriers. Problem solving approaches helped. I know there have been times, when I want to shout or hurl the laptop across the room. Perspective helps manage such episodes of anger. It helps me feel more centred, too. Stress is still felt acutely, but can be held in check somewhat. This takes a lot of energy that leaves me fatigued at the end of a day. Accomplishing several items on the 'to do' list brings a degree of satisfaction. As a tech assistant noted earlier in the week -- as long as the glass is half full <grin>.  That is a good thing, as there are just as many tasks on agenda tomorrow. <smile>

I found lyrics that fit with my musings today in a song by a Canadian band. Stay safe. Enjoy!

One Little Victory -- Rush

Day 7 - 167 -- A Day for Patience

The big event of the day was spending time at the dealership to get winter tires removed and charging the battery for the start/stop feature that hasn't worked since test drives of this vehicle. While there, not a single person seen wore a mask, though one wore gloves though I think she wore all day. I sat in the showroom with lots of space and no one came close enough to create an issue. I wore a mask, since I'd be inside a public building for at least 2 hours -- that became 3.5 hours. When charging the smaller battery, the large battery was checked and found to need a charge, too. So, both were charged and tested. After the 90 minute charging time for the smaller one, both were found to be weak and unable to hold a charge. To have to poor batteries in a new vehicle seems troublesome. They were covered by warranty thankfully.

I was quite hungry when I got home about 5. I'd had a lunch with me, but when I finished reading the one long paper at the dealership, it was just after 3 PM and I thought I'd be out of there soon. Supper was first on the afternoon into evening agenda. I made a yummy double mustard coated chicken breast and served with fresh salad greens and gnocchi with sauteed mushrooms, shallots, garlic and grape tomatoes -- all finished with balsamic vinegar. So very yummy but took a while to cook for a hungry person <smile>.

It was a sunny day with pleasant cooler temperature today. A frost warning for this end of the province is in effect for overnight with tomorrow heading into the high 20s. Go figure. Frost is most likely for higher elevations or low lying areas -- so not sure about the middle ground and where that might be. <smile>

I have needed a new A/C adapter for a device used for survey research. I ordered that a while back and it was to be here by last Friday, but it arrived today. I removed the old one from the charger base and installed the new one -- just required a screwdriver <smile>. I plugged it in and lo and behold -- nothing happened. A check of the old one, which has copper wiring peeking through the rubber cord , found it still functions, just not safely. Thee new one doesn't function at all -- but has no wires showing. Not a great trade off. Another replacement has been ordered. So - another two weeks before that one will arrive AND I now have two items that don't fit in household waste pickup. Just more for the electronic waste that has been accumulating around the house -- or maybe it is self-replicating. Either way, just more for me to drive somewhere for disposal.

Today seemed to be sponsored by the word "patience."  A song lyric presents the need to concentrate on other things perhaps to find patience or at least, not to obsess on when things will arrive or be finished. The lyrics also make me smile. Stay safe. Enjoy!

I try to Think about Elvis -- Patty Loveless

Day 7 - 166 -- Turning a Deaf Ear

The day stayed grey and cloudy, looking almost like twilight all day long. The rain that had been forecast did not appear, though the clouds looked like they held rain. In the afternoon I took a trip to the pharmacy for a prescription renewal for the first time since last February. I also found my favourite raisin bran muffins and ginger snaps -- again not purchased since early February.  There were few people in the store, so I didn't encounter anyone in the narrow aisles. Lots of distancing at counters and pharmacy area worked well. As short outing, but got me out of the house briefly.

Stress visited again today. When small things didn't go as I'd hoped, it opened the door to anxiety. I'm working on acknowledging and accepting a feeling like disappointment, and then letting it go rather than having it spiral downwards. This requires the rational brain to take control before the limbic system goes wild. <smile>. The process sort of worked today, just not fully. I am taking this as a mini victory and moving on. <smile>. 

The lyrics of this selection remind me of something that stress and anxiety might say to people to add to the fear. The title says it all to me -- if the feelings were an entity, I'd wish they didn't stop by for a 'visit'.  Stay safe. Enjoy! 

Uninvited Guest -- Marillion

Day 7 - 165 -- Outside Events

Weather was all over the place today. Some sun and lots of rainy looking clouds. Rain forecast to begin late evening instead of early afternoon.  So, tomorrow may be wetter. Temperature was warmer than past few days with higher humidity, too. Luckily there was an intermittent  light breeze.

Some interesting outings today. First I headed to the Farmers Market for their curbside delivery of  everything I'd ordered. Had a good chat with one of the vendors who put things in the trunk area. After some laundry and household tasks, I headed to chat with a friend by the long-term care facility down the street. She'd had a window visit with her husband earlier and we met there to catch up in person instead of on the phone. Our short visit went for about 90 minutes! It was a pleasant chat.

While I was happy to see my friend from a distance and 'shop' at the market today, I felt a bit sad that things had changed so much. Visiting friends at home and chatting with the vendors at the market are things I enjoy. Not seeing more than one person at the market felt wrong. On the other hand, it shows we are adapting to a new situation. When putting the bags in my car, I had to ask who she was, when she greeted me by name. The mask, hat and sunglasses made it difficult to know who it was. My friend brought a small snack for each of us so it was like a mini-picnic on the park benches. Again, adapting, but not the same as in her living room. There is a distance to go with adapting attitudes of normal, I suppose. I enjoy the distanced visit and walk I've had this week, but yearn for things to be more like they were three months ago -- minus the snow and ice, of course <smile>. Not being sure where 'there' is right now can be a lot to process. As a friend often says -- we'll get there.

The lyrics of the song choice for today provide an acknowledgement of imminent change mixed wiht a hint of feeling helpless. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Waiting on the World to Change -- John Mayer

Day 7 - 164 -- Lack of Contact

it was a slow start to day. I accomplished little from the list or even off-list. I managed to remove all files from the manuscript submission yesterday and will let it sit a couple of days and try again. If it doesn't work, an editor has offered to submit it by proxy. I'm hoping it will work for me, since there are a few extra figure files and the cover letter that go in separately -- the former as part of the manufactured pdf and the latter not. So -- it is off my immediate pile of things to do -- for now.

I have been feeling a bit hopeless at times today -- just so much I want to do -- mainly to travel to visit a number of folks. So much remains uncertain other than the fact that this virus will be around for the foreseeable future. This isn't wildly different than many other viruses; vaccines exist for some of the nastier ones along with annual vaccines for the various influenza strains being the most common, while other vaccines are for bacterial diseases. It will likely be a year or more before something is ready to roll out to the world for SARS-CoV-2 (the name of the novel virus that causes COVID-19). to be blunt -- it is scary.  There is fear about going places since leaving home is where we will most likely encounter the virus. There is fear about not knowing when or if I can see my friends and family. There is fear about possibly giving it to someone if I am asymptomatic. There is fear. With that fear comes a feeling of hopelessness. To be clear, these feelings are fleeting. Most of the time, a degree of hope exists and plans and wishes for the future seem possible. But there are moments.

Days like today or even parts of a day when things seem gloomy -- like the grayness outside the window today -- a hug would be great. If things develop into tears, then a shoulder would be most helpful. Given the health risks of such activities, the world can feel even more challenging. The lyrics of the selection today note the importance of sharing the load. Ideally this could be in person, but I suppose there is a virtual way to share, too. It isn't the same, but it is all we have at present. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Cry on my Shoulder -- Bonnie Raitt

 

Day 7 - 163 -- Finding Calm in Chaos

The day began well. I had a reasonable sleep and felt rested when I got up. I did a few things around the house and then had a phone meeting. The planned chat with a friend had to be postponed until the weekend. With that extra time, I decided to submit a manuscript for a research article. The online process is onerous and requires that one submit a full article file and then take it apart into several parts -- each editorial manager system is different in which and how many parts this might be. I'd prepared for what i thought might be usual, but found that fewer bits were needed separately. No worries -- better to have more than less in such situations. I submitted files in the four categories required. When the system knitted them all back into a pdf document, I realized I'd uploaded an earlier version of the body of the manuscript, so went back to edit that file -- remove old and add new. The new pdf looked great, until I scrolled to the end of the text to see figures and references and discovered the pdf contained copies of the previous file and the new replaced file -- twice each! so there were 100 pages to the submission. Needless to say, I canceled the submission and started over from scratch. Now,  I was into the third hour with this thing. The entry went smoothly. The pdf knitted itself together and still contained 100 pages. The system must be holding the earlier files in memory somewhere, which makes the edit function fully useless. I tried to contact the editor, but the campus system is down so no access to e-mail. There is a major issue with one of the servers so the whole system was  shut down this afternoon.

My response to all the external stresses was to sign out of the journal editorial system and hope that any stored memory might be wiped clean overnight. I will have a go at it again tomorrow and if it doesn't work, I'll wait until next week by which time I hope the campus system is functional again and I can send a HELP message. <smile>  Looking inside myself at the turmoil this was causing me made me look outside me, too. It was time to make supper by the clock and the rumbles from my stomach. While it was cooking, I spent time with the huge puzzle on the dining room table. Focusing on the detection of patterns in puzzle pieces can be quite calming. I then chose to wash my hair to provide a bit more of a relaxation to my decompressing. Each of these things -- cooking, shower or bath, puzzle -- create calming moments, which move me to a better place. The key is recognizing when things are getting tense before it all explodes. I managed to do that today.

Finding a way to regain a sense of peace is wonderful. Some days are easier than others, but it can happen. Lyrics of song fit the idea of finding that calmness. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Peace of Mind -- Boston

Day 7 - 162 -- A New Approach

It was an online sort of day again -- a small group discussion, weekly research meeting, a second short meeting and a streamed mini-concert in the evening. The sun shone, but temperatures remained cooler. The forecast includes warmer temps with wind arriving overnight into tomorrow. Today, though, was a pleasnat walking temperature in the late afternoon.

There wasn't a lot to focus on today other than 'its not all about me' <smile>. When I get frustrated by actions of others -- most moved as I walked up the sidewalk, but some just glared at me as they were headed to walk right into me <sigh>.  Most are being sensible, though not wearing masks outside yet.  I didn't either today -- just an oversight. Tomorrow I have to hit the pharmacy and meet a friend outdoors for a short distanced talk, so I will wear one as I walk along the street -- much to the dismay of many people who think those of us that do this are silly. While I could take two masks, one for the store visit and another for the personal visit, it seems silly when the two places are less than 5 minutes apart. If I'm going to wear one, I will use aseptic technique or wearing a mask becomes useless.

So -- perhaps I just need to let it go. Smile at those who make room and do the same for those scowling folks looking to walk right over me. I'd likely feel better. I tried it on the return part of the walk and it did help me to feel better, just to share a smile with someone -- even if I think I'm the one who should get a smile <grin>.  The lyrics of a song seem to fit these thoughts well -- just the advice I need to give to myself <smile>. We need to be kind, but a change of attitude would make kindness easier to share. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Get Over It -- The Eagles

Day 7 - 161 -- Instant Replay?

The day began with sun but about noon dark blue-grey clouds entered and then thunderstorms circled around to hit us three times -- each time louder with more shaking than the one before. Several powerful downpours occurred, too. At the first clap of thunder, I saw a cat run by in the backyard and then again. It was actually two who looked almost identical -- one running behind the other. They ended up under the shed in the backyard so were out of the worst of the storm. I had wondered if the window was now equipped with instant replay just like the TV screen with DVR <g>

After the storms subsided, I got some work done with a few online files and attended a virtual research presentation. by a colleague and friend. I placed an online order with the local farmer's market. They provide curbside pickup at present, so I ordered a variety of foods with hand sanitizer and masks. Looking forward to pick up on Saturday.

A song chorus fits the day well --lyrics noting people runing and  hiding from a stormy sky. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Stormy Sky -- The Kinks

Day 7 - 160 -- Cheese and Flowers

The day was unseasonably cool and very windy with heavy rain laden clouds much of the day. By late afternoon, fewer clouds raced along showing small bits of blue sky along the travels. My early evening, fewer clouds existed and the wind abated somewhat. I was into the office to print a few documents for meetings this week and was able to have a walk around campus with a friend. It has been almost three months since I've walked home with friends, so this was special.

Grocery pick up was today. I received a call that the full order had been filled -- no shortages, no substitutions - the first time since this dance began. Then I received the automated e-mail noting that there had been no substitution for the mozzarella cheese. I called back and explained . I was told that the store brand cheese wasn't showing on their shopping lists but that she would put one in with my order. I picked up the order and unpacked it at home, only to find -- correct -- no cheese. Another call up tot he store got a different shift who had not heard about the failure of cheese to appear on their electronic files. She went to check and found just what I'd ordered. She put it in a bag after asking if it was possible for me to return to the store today. So, I went back after my walk on campus. She brought it out to the car herself along with a package of flower -- for me having to deal with two trips to the store. I was surprised and delighted. I had explained that this wasn't a world ending issue when we'd been speaking and that technology could be overly challenging some days rather than being our friend <smile>. This attitude was the polar opposite of what I had dealt with two weeks ago. So -- pretty reddish alstroemeria flowers are in the living room at the moment. So -- no need to change dinner plans <smile>

Pizza took centre stage on my dinner plate tonight. A silly song seemed perfect for the way the day unfolded. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Tullahoma Dancing Pizza Man -- Eddie Rabbit

Day 7 - 159 -- Wildlife Adventures

Late last night while I was making a snack in the kitchen, I heard an enormous growling sound. I looked around to see my feline friend at the front door -- inside door open and outer storm door with screen partly up to get cooler air into the house. I ran to see what was up outside. Feline fur was puffed up bigger than I've ever seen with the loudest growl I've heard emanating from somewhere deep inside. There on the porch was a startled looking raccoon looking up at me as I slammed the inside door shut. Only once have I seen a raccoon up on the porch and that was the day I moved in almost 22 years ago. I've not seen signs of the critters around the yard for the better part of a year, so this was a surprise. I'd expected that it might have been another cat. Thankfully rabies vaccination is up to date. It took a while for both of us to calm after that adventure

The weather is cooler and rainy again today. It poured overnight a few times. Things look wonderfully green in the twilight-like lighting of the day. The little Japanese lilac has begun to bloom in the front yard. Once there is less rain falling in the next couple of days, I will have a go at the weeds in the flower beds. Among the sundry weeds are many mini maple trees. While those look nice as ground cover, they do need to be removed as they grow into tough-to-pull little plants in short order. Root systems become huge overnight it seems.

As a wise friend has noted often, we do need to take moments to be still and present in order to recognize the small things going on around us. Introspection can be helpful during present times, but we do need to look up and out to acknowledge and revel in moments of discovery and delight. These moments provide peace and calm that we can revisit as cherished memories. Be mindful. Be present.

The song selected for today was clear when I woke today and it had no contenders. This cover version brings a different rhythm and feel than the original. Hope it gives you a smile. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Rocky Raccoon -- Scary Pockets ft. George Krikes

Day 7 - 158 -- Dancing through the House

The day was grey and cooler with some rain in the afternoon. More is expected over the next day or so, so we might be able to squelch the extreme fire risk. Laundry and some housework occurred. In the afternoon, during a break, I watched the first part of Laurel Cnayon -- A place in time. This is a really good documentary of the rise of rock genres on the US west coast. A friend called and we chatted by phone. It seems the mail at work has continued to be distributed and my mail box was getting rather full. I had thought this would have been closed and wasn't sure where the mail would be stored. Good to know that it has been dealt with. So, my friend offered to drop it on the front porch on her way home this evening. We even had a distanced conversation, which felt really good. We hope to go for a walk on campus next week with distanced maintained while wearing masks. It will be nice to see the plants and flower around campus. Now if the rain holds up long enough for us to have a quick walk, that will be perfect.

I woke with a song in my head -- one that made me want to get up and dance. I heard it earlier in the week.The lyrics say a lot about future get togethers and the melody and beat are amazing. I bet you all have to move just a bit with this one. Just crank it and let yourself go! Stay safe. Enjoy!

Boogie Shoes -- KC and the Sunshine Band

Day 7 - 157 -- Dignity

The day was warm and muggy with the sun staying behind clouds until late afternoon. We expect rain soon along with slightly cooler temperatures. I had difficulty getting a major task completed today. I'm worried that there will need to be more work for a part of the writing but will just need to get things evaluated with the software before heading off to revise things on my own. The software is set up to tell you where things don't meet requirements <sigh>. Like Scarlett O'Hara, I hear myself thinking, in my inadequate southern belle accent -- tomorrows another day.

Emotions have been creating some difficult moments lately. I feel undignified with the way I'm dealing -- or not dealing -- with the onslaught of happenings. It seems I can't get by with any sense of decorum and that I'm feeling somewhat needy -- something I really dislike feeling <sigh>. I'm working on it and am not alone in that process. Been reading about resilience -- how to bounce back. This is not impossible, just easier some days than others.

The lyrics chosen to share today talks about our combined strength and ability to support each other. The words also note the power in a hug.  Stay safe. Enjoy!

Hold On -- Michael Buble

Day 7 - 156 -- On the Lookout for Hope

Well, today was Day 80, but who's counting? <smile> I chatted with colleagues and friends through the day, which helped me to see a sliver of hope and find shared smiles and laughs. This has been a difficult week for many reasons -- global and closer to home. The sun came out today, so while this means the temperatures will climb a bit, it does add a sense of warmth and caring to the day. When walking and at the drug store people moved to distance as we shopped and walked. Interesting how 'distance' has become a verb more than a noun of late. At the store, I saw two other people with masks on, so I felt less alone -- still not enough folks wearing them as recommended by public health, but it is a start. Distancing wasn't fully working with some people at the store, but most ried. So, I saw hope there. On my walk, Japanese lilacs were blooming on Main Street. I will need to investigate the front yard more tomorrow to see if mine are ready to bloom, too. The lawn was mowed today, which makes the yard look happy and tidy.

For those struggling with personal difficulties and those just trying to get their heads around the world situations, I send a virtual hug to you all. The road feels very long at present and appears filled with potholes and even sink holes. With combined efforts, those can be filled  and the road will be smoother to travel. Be kind to yourself and be kind to others. Provide support where you can.

The chorus of a song ran through my mind today, so I will share that here. This version is fun and different than the original recording. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Everyday is a Winding Road -- Sheryl Crow ft. Prince

Day 7 - 155 -- Slow the Race

A quiet rainy day here today. Light rain throughout the day is needed to help reduce fire risk level in the forests. I spent the day indoors with multiple online activity. I met with a colleague and attended a virtual conference session. In the evening, I streamed a mini-concert and visited online with a friend. During the mid-afternoon, I fell asleep briefly. I have been so tired recently and hope this feeling will leave soon.

So much happens on any given day, that managing the information input and finding energy to deal with self care become a huge challenge. I've made a day map that I try to follow. For the most part, the windows of time during the day do work better than a long to do list. I still find that some days become overloaded and I feel like I'm working full time again -- and not in a good way; yet there is no pay cheque to be had. <smile> I enjoy the research project writing, so it isn't without satisfaction. Some days are just too full for my liking. I suspect that the loss of control that I feel has to do with so many external things that I can't absorb when overwhelmed by work tasks and the ability to focus long enough to be productive -- at least on some level. Self care becomes key at times like this. I have several things available. A puzzle on the dining room table (which is in the kitchen as there is no dining room here <smile>) takes my brain to a place of seeking patterns and away from the irritants. A furry friend feels good and listening to purring is very soothing. A bath can help to decompress. Going for a walk helps with cortisol levels and distracts me with nature along the way. Visiting with friends mostly online these days helps to share laughs and provide mutual supports. Each of these is readily available to me. When I use these judiciously it helps put life into some form of balance and provide a moment of joy, calm or peace -- all three and I've hit the trifecta for the day. <smile>

Well -- a song about racing seemed to fit several aspects of the musings of the day -- being in the middle of race that I didn't mean to enter and sometimes winning big <smile>.  Stay safe. Enjoy!

Run for the Roses -- Dan Fogelberg

Day 7 - 154 -- Virtual vs. In Person

Today was cloudy with some rain, but not much. We need lots to help with the dryness and forest fire potential. Cooler temperatures made inside work so much easier and allowed used of the oven again for supper preparation. Further work on the outline for the next virtual conference occurred with some creative neurons getting on board that train of thought, at least <smile>

I attended the virtual board-member dialogue for my professional association. It was good to see faces of those presenting and see familiar names in chat box. As always, I found it  positive to hear of and participate in board direction for governance. The board chair noted that she missed hugging people as is common at the conference. I am so with her on that one. Seeing people you meet only at conference and often not each year, is so wonderful. So many familiar faces and many new ones to get to know. Seeing past students now well into their careers brings smiles as much as people I've worked with or gotten to know through organization activities. I miss the networking in the hallways outside the conference rooms, hearing what ideas have taken over the corridor buzz. That has been my favourite part of going to conference. Yes, I like the sessions and ideas that challenge the status quo, but without the people in person it feels different. A friend noted in a message yesterday that it felt like she'd just seen me (it has been 78 days) and then she realized she'd seen me present a week ago but I didn't see her or any of the other 570+ folks who were online at that point.

A song from a television special that aired in April kept poking at me today. Patience might help the way I feel, but it isn't easy to get to that place at times.The song uses a bit of humour and an upbeat tempo to deliver the message. I will do my best to find a way to manage the waiting -- it just ain't easy. <sigh> Stay well. Enjoy!

Gotta be Patient -- Michael Buble, the Barenaked ladies,  and Sofia Reyes

Day 7 - 153 -- Weather changed

The day was overcast but without rain. Temperatures were cooler still. I worked away on presentation plans for most of the afternoon. I went for a walk and stopped at the bank machine. New goings on there today -- new machines and a thick plexiglass divider between the two machines and hand sanitizer to use before and after using the keypad on the machine.

I cooked something new to me for dinner. Barramundi with a spinach and apple salad and roasted potatoes. It was another from the meal box dinners and was all very yummy. This one also took almost 60 minutes to prepare and cook when the time noted was 30 minutes. I had to substitute my own salad greens for ones that were less than fresh. I see a pattern emerging. <sigh>  I found the fish very nice -- soft and velvety like haddock but a little meatier, though not as dense as halibut. It has very little fishy odor or flavour, so even people who dislike fish have been known to like this one. I would look for it when shopping, for sure. So, another new thing today.

The selection today goes with the weather. We are in dire need of a good soaking rain, but the cloud bore little today. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Heavy Cloud, No Rain -- Sting

Day 7 - 152 -- Hopes and Dreams

Mercifully, today was cooler and drier inside and out, which led to some better sleep and more activity to get through some tasks. I  finished laundry and other small household chores. then I began annual income tax calculations only to discover that the filing deadline seems to be tomorrow and the payment date is September. There is a refund, so I'll be OK if filing a few days late -- something I have never done <sigh>.

In the late afternoon, I cooked one of the dinners from the meal box delivered this week. I had hoped to get to these earlier but the heat meant no oven or stove top usage. This one was a red lentil and sweet potato curry with rice. While ginger had been added to the rice, it was rather bland. The curry was tasty, but I did add some chipotle powder to my bowl for a hint of heat only. <smile> It took me 55 minutes rather than the 35 they noted in the recipe. I am an experienced cook, so this disturbed me a bit. I had read their recipe several times to organize how they suggested coordinating three things with overlapping cooking times. Even with that, it took far longer. The biggest culprit was cooking the lentils in the coconut milk and seasonings. There was not enough liquid for these to cook quickly. I added about a cup of liquid to the pan a bit at a time for lentils to absorb. The coconut milk was more solid like a cream. Perhaps adding fluid nearer the beginning of that cooking time would have moved things along. The only thing I did not use was their sweet potato cubes, which felt slippery to the touch. It didn't feel 'right' so I used my own sweet potato. I did not add this time to the preparation time. I plan to recommend to the company that they include a whole sweet potato to avoid this unusual consistency. The whole thing tasted great, though. It is an interesting recipe that I could easily make again on my own. Something new and yummy to add to the repertoire. <smile>

What did this all bring to mind today? The need to manage expectations. Dreams and goals are big and important to have. Managing what might be rather than throwing it all in the basket of expectations can bring disappointment. Smaller expectations, like believing marketing hype about a product, can disappoint when the item in questions just doesn't measure up. Expecting others to understand the expectations of any individual without these being communicated leads to bigger disappointments that can sit and fester or lead to angry outbursts. So, I need to temper the excitement some days -- like today with the recipe ingredients not measuring up to my expectations or standards. <smile>

Lyrics from the selection for the day, describe the desire to try to reach a goal -- just to have the chance to do so -- while recognizing that things may not work out as dreamed, but at least we try. Being prepared for any outcome, seems a sensible way to manage expectations. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Don't Rain on My Parade --Lea Michele (Glee cast)