Day 6 - 120 -- Pondering Matrilineal Lines

While dusting late yesterday, I found myself pondering the faces in the frames in one corner of the living room. The photos show four generations of women -- my great-grandmother, grandmother, mom, and me. Hanging on the wall above these four individual photos, is an large, oval older photo of my great-grandmother and her sister. I'm not sure when that one was taken. She married in 1911 or 1912, so this could be sometime around then or a little later. She was much younger than in the other smaller photo. The four smaller photos show women with grey hair <smile>. The larger one shows the two younger women in black and white with hand done painting to highlight complexions and gold jewelry. The big wooden frame for the oval photo is stunning and situates the two subjects well.

Since then, I've been thinking of my matrilineage. I never knew my great-grandmother who died before I was born. My grandmother was named for her and her sister and my mom's middle name was my great-grandmother's name. I was to have that name, but my parents changed their minds to go with something newer. These were strong women -- physically and psychologically. My great-grandmother and grandmother lived on homesteads in two-room shanties. Here on the barren prairie they raised had children, raised families and finally left for town or city during the 1930s when nothing would grow. My mother was born on the homestead and her birth certificate had gps coordinates as there was no settlement. Life was tough and money was scarce, yet they survived -- no, they thrived. I think of my grandmother who traveled from Ontario to Manitoba and to Saskatchewan mainly by horse and buggy. Many years later, she would fly from Saskatchewan to Ontario to visit her sons and other family members. What a change that must have been. I often think of what they went through that seems amazing today, but was de rigeur then. I guess we all learn to cope with what we have and the technology of the time.

One song came to mind for these thoughts. The lyrics present a similar train of thought and can bring similar tears. The song is sung by a mother and daughter duo, which seemed only right for this blog post. Enjoy!

Guardian Angels -- The Judds

Day 6 - 119 -- A Deadline Conglomeration

Many tasks need to be completed in the next 24 hours -- deadlines stacked on deadlines. Some of these require the work of others before I can complete my part. Not being in control can create more stress than necessary <smile>. I did manage to do some portions of each task during the day, with more to do tomorrow. I'd hoped to get part of a larger task to the halfway point tonight, but that isn't going to happen. I'm so tired due to waking way to early this morning. So -- have to get a good rest tonight so I can hit the ground running tomorrow. <smile>

I took time on the way home to wander the front yard to find the spring flowers in the lawn. Further crocuses are set to bloom and big patches of the bluish lavender Glory of the Snow have begun to emerge. Lillies, irises and tulips are several inches above the soil. they should bring blooms over the next few months. I do love seeing these throughout the growing season.  Cloud formations and emerging sun of late afternoon were wonderful to watch, too.

Lyrics ran through my head today that suit the situation of the day perfectly. The second verse fits perfectly with "The endless desperation of deadline after deadline" and "brings the inclination to make a little free time and watch nature's message as she goes about her day." The singer-songwriter brings moments of calm much like nature did today. Enjoy!

Moon Over the Rio Grande -- Michael Nesmith

Day 6 - 118 -- Anxiety of the Unknown

Sun shone most of the day with just a sprinkle of rain in mid-afternoon. The view out the window inspired me to do many household tasks. I started the day with a new-to-me weekend breakfast -- a fritatta. I've eaten these before, but don't recall cooking one. I used a generic recipe with proportions of types of ingredients and it turned out to be delightful. I'll have to keep this recipe close at hand for future inspired mornings. The rest of the day involved checking over tax figures. I'd like to get this into the mail tomorrow -- a day early (though it seems I don't owe anything so could file later, if I chose). I made a couple of phone calls to arrange plans for future trips. One involved a chat with people I hadn't spoken to for a while -- always a fun event.

Moving through the day brought thoughts of past, present and future. Having time to reflect can help one feel more grounded. Making plans ahead of time brings calmness instead of anxiety. Flexibility is built in to such plans, so things can change as needed -- but at least some basics have been decided. As an introvert, this helps me manage the anxiety of the 'unknown' <smile>. Just as preparing for differing weather events within or across days, preparing for future events may ensure one is set for the situations -- just like the rain jacket or parka that are in heavy rotation these days.

In the background was a recorded program that celebrated the Motown sound of the past six decades. One song caught my attention. It reminded me of something else I need to do in the coming few weeks -- go shopping somewhere outside my tiny town. <smile>  I loved the combination of artists for this rendition of an old favourite. The singer-songwriter from the early days paired well with a more recent group. Enjoy!

Note -- the lead singer is now 79 years old <smile>

Shop Around -- Smokey Robinson and Pentatonix

Day 6 - 117 -- A Little Luxury

This was a quiet Saturday. Household chores, laundry and cooking filled most of the day. A new batch of spaghetti sauce was completed, which will be added to the freezer inventory for evenings when cooking from scratch may not fit. During the day, I watched a couple of recorded programs and took an hour to read a novel. Cold and cloudy described the weather, which led to downpours in the evening. 

Taking time to relax a bit felt positive today. Other 'work' items exist, but I chose to set them aside for today. I still find it difficult at times to give myself permission to let things sit for a day or so. Twenty years of not having this luxury means fighting what became the norm. This is no longer the case -- something that takes time to accept. It also means that even when understanding that the sense of urgency isn't real, one can be pulled back into the crazy work focus. I've been doing better, but when several things need attention at one time, it can result in an internal struggle. 

An interesting song from the early R&B days seemed to fit the relaxing activities of today. Enjoy! 

Saturday Night at the Movies -- The Drifters

Day 6 - 116 -- Saying Goodbye

Many different tasks were completed today. I began with some photography to get a new head shop. That worked quite well. I really dislike having photos taken <smile>. I then got a few groceries, most of which were on sale and yet the final tally was outstandingly huge. <sigh> I then attended an informal tea for the two contract workers whose terms are over soon. Much laughter and relaxed conversations took place. I felt calmer at the end and others looked a bit more relaxed, too. The sun came out in the afternoon and while the north wind was still bracing, the day brightened. This was especially pleasant given the next 24-36 hours will bring pouring rain and wind.

It dawned on me that the farewells said this afternoon are but the first of many that will occur in the coming two weeks. Convocation is a week away. I still know the graduating class and the one after them, since I taught these students in several courses. The class two years out I taught in one course, so they will be the last group that I got to know in a classroom setting. The bittersweet aspects of seeing people move on to the next phase of their careers and lives can be so palpable. We are lucky to be able to work with such wonderful people. Time passes so quickly, that it seems difficult to understand that a full term has elapsed already. Not being in the midst of the teaching this year did make a difference in how time passed. It went by quickly, but for different reasons than when I was in the classroom. <smile>

A song that came to mind is sung by two amazing voices in English and Italian. The melody is beautiful and filled with emotion. Enjoy!

Time to Say Goodbye (Con Te Parero) -- Andrea Bocelli ft. Sarah Brightman

Day 6 - 115 -- Enjoyable Events

Interesting events provided emotional highlights today. In the afternoon the annual celebration of new retirees occurred. This was the first year where I knew everyone on the list -- knew well enough to have a conversation if we were to meet at the grocery store -- not just a passing nod <smile>. One of my colleagues, the last one who was here before I arrived, chose to retire this year. The speakers did wonderful jobs of highlighting careers in just a few minutes. The Academic Vice President and Provost noted that this year saw the largest number of attendees. I enjoyed chatting with a number of people I hadn't seen over the term. It was like people had come out of hibernation in some dark cave, looking tired but a bit more relaxed than a few weeks ago. Finals are over and grades for graduates are due on Monday and other years a week after that. This allowed many people to take a few moments out of the usual routine to meet with others in a happy setting.

In the evening, I had a Skype call with members of my undergraduate class who are celebrating an anniversary of our graduation. Several things converged to make it difficult for me to attend this year. Luckily, electronic communications allowed us to converse while they gathered for dinner. It was such fun to see those familiar faces -- even briefly. Putting together a regular site for sharing updates may be the next step. Everyone was having such a good time. It felt good to see those who were able to attend this year.

Lyrics that fit both groups of people I had a chance to chat with today was chosen to share here. The words inspire listeners to make the most of life. Enjoy!

Reunion -- Bon Jovi

 

Day 6 - 114 -- Reminded of Supports

Cloud and pale sunshine competed for attention today. Some spring yard clean up was accomplished finally, which needed to be fit in between rain events. I saw some crocuses on the verge of opening along with several bunches of that will be out in a few days. That will make the front lawn purple in patches -- a wonderful part of spring. I spent time on campus to print some items -- a trip that took longer than intended as I spoke to people I hadn't chatted with for a while. The conversations brought good feelings. The evening brought a delightful video chat with a friend.We hadn't spoken for several years, so this one was special. 

Feelings during the day moved like the weather from dismal grey to feeble sunshine to brighter sun and back again -- an all over the map kind of day. Altered plans and new plans worked their way into the agenda. Supports are available, if I just remember to call on people when I need that assistance <smile>. Some events can feel isolating when we are not really alone in the processes.

One song seemed to fit my thoughts perfectly today. It was written by a wonderful singer-songwriter and is sung here by the perfect voice for the lyrics. Enjoy!

You've Got a Friend -- James Taylor

Day 6 - 113 -- Day with Kindness

While outside the window it was a grey, rainy, dismal day, inside things seemed brighter. Two friends assisted me with some writing, providing solid feedback that will help make this project stronger. Those two meetings contained much laughter, as well. I then spent time doing some further revisions and then set that project aside until tomorrow. The rest of the day was spent reading for other projects and a bit of non-working time.

A little kindness goes a long way. I appreciated the feedback from friends -- who took the time out of their schedules to assist me. Having such supports is a true gift. I especially valued the input at a time when I am feeling anxious about several other things. It helped me to focus and do something constructive today. Small acts can mean so much to the recipients. We should all strive to do small acts of kindness each and every day.

Several song lines went through my head today before I found the one that seemed to fit bet for today. To me, much of the lyric expresses the importance of kindness. Enjoy!

If Everyone Cared -- Nickelback

Day 6 - 112 -- Backing and Forthing

The day involved a lot of rearranging of plans. Three major things were on tap but without adequate time and space, something had to give. Two items 'have to' be done while the other was the 'nice to do' fun thing. The latter had to be set aside and not without some sadness. Like I've often said, this country is so huge that travel from the eastern shore to the middle or the west can be challenging. Arrangements were made to get the vehicle in for repair, too. That will take a few days since this is the time of year everyone wants to get tires and oil changed in time for the next season. In the meantime, I'm sure we'll be manage. 

Multiple phone calls completed today went more smoothly than I'd expected. People on the other end were kind and helpful. A little bit of kindness can go a long way. A recent small donation to an alma mater brought a handwritten postcard to thank me and a phone call for the same reason tonight. I noted that the attention was a nice touch. I've not received this level of thanks from other institutions. Perhaps this has set the bar higher for others to attain. I've had such great conversations with the students involved in the fund raising. It just made it so personal. Imagine! <smile>.  So, things ended on an up note today. 

Given the items that have been pulling me in multiple directions recently, one song came to mind to share here today. The singer-songwriter has been in the biz for decades. This song is just so beautiful even when speaking to something stressful and carries a touch of hope. Enjoy! 

Tug of War -- Paul McCartney

 

Day 6 - 111 -- Fear

After a the first good sleep in a long time, I woke later than usual. The day was grey with lots of wind. Rain is on the way later this evening. Inside the house along with increasing humidity, I spent the afternoon working on income tax. For some reason this was left later than usual. I'll let this sit for a couple of days and then review the math again before submitting.

While occupied with numbers or background television series stories, my mind seemed to take time to dig up the fear that has been wrapped and pushed into a corner until recently. This emotion rises when one least expects it. A moment of shock or uncertainty is all that is needed to get things rolling down that hill to severe fear. I didn't make it all the way down today -- managed to stop the trip partway. With some assistance from a furry friend, I managed to climb back uphill. That, too, took just a moment -- the few seconds in which one can refocus.

A song about fear and disappointment comes to mind at times like this. Lyrics note how fear can visit during the night when we tend to feel most vulnerable. Enjoy!

I Dreamed a Dream -- Patti LuPone (Les Miserables)

Day 6 - 110 -- New Stresses Arrive

The day began with an unexpected appointment. So far, things seem OK.  When pulling back into the driveway, the ABS brake system started chattering -- on dry pavement. So, another unexpected event presented itself. I can't say that I'm prepared to deal with such things. I need more sleep and just when it seems that is a possibility, something else arrives to disturb those plans. Overall, things seem reasonable, but new problems can be emotionally draining -- leaving less energy for needed solutions.

Having a brief respite between external stresses might help with putting solutions together. With continuous challenges mental fatigue, often in the form of decision fatigue, impairs solving even the simpler situations. Besides sleep habits, food choice behaviours and physical activity patterns can be adversely affected. Appropriate coping strategies for stresses may become less useful at reducing anxious feelings.

Today, I felt like shouting "Enough already" as I got out of the car once back in the driveway. It might have been cathartic, but could attract unwanted attention in the neigbourhood <grin>. A song with a similar title seemed to fit the day best.  Enjoy!

Enough is Enough -- April Wine

Day 6 - 109 -- Spoken Word Challenge

The day was grey and quiet. I worked on laundry and upcoming presentations.. The challenge with the latter will be fitting the desired content within the time limits. Conciseness works more easily with the written word. However, when the typed content moves to an oral format, my speaking style extends the planned length considerably. I know that I can be rather -- well - a lot -- tangential. So, unless I read directly from a written page, something within the content must be shortened or omitted. Besides, reading a presentation limits connection with the audience and can sound very stilted. We write differently than how we speak. I've been a proponent of writing presentations in short point form and covering these points orally in sentences -- a process that generally works well. Training myself to stay on point has been less successful. Practice and massaging words will eventually provide an end product that will fit the time and communicate the intended message.

The title and some lyrics from a song fit my reflections today -- talking too much and cutting some words or statements that could be left behind. The song has aspects of indie pop mixed with hip hop. The production is unique. Enjoy!

I talk too much -- Just Jack ft. Kylie Minogue

Day 6 - 108 -- Not Enough Time

Two great meetings produced new plans for current projects along with one further deadline that is very tight. The latter will require shifts in priorities to accomplish. The bright sun and blue sky lasted until early evening when the cloud cover arrived. Rain is part of the forecast for most of the following week it seems.

The need to breathe -- those deep cleansing breaths -- became obvious today. To meet new deadlines and rework the personal and research schedules for the next 10 days will take calm and focus. Some larger events may have to be left behind to move others forward. The next couple of days will determine which are doable and which just won't fit. Back to that need to breathe. This sounds silly when said out loud, but deeper breathing isn't a part of that stressful and anxious mode. This is where shallower breathing prevails. Reminding oneself to take a deeper breath every so often isn't as easy as it sounds either. For me, walking can facilitate this process. It must be the rhythmic aspect of walking that leads to deeper breaths and can help reach the goal of stress reduction and improved mental focus. I also often find that I talk to myself to work through the stress triggers.

Of course, music can provide a needed pause to recenter in stressful situations. A line that repeated itself in my head today is key to the chorus and title of the selection shared here today. The band performing is a Dutch band from the 1960s that carries the 'garage rock' sound. Enjoy!

Time Won't Let Me -- The Outsiders

Day 6 - 107 -- Now or Later?

Strong wind gust overnight and into the forenoon today accompanied a spring snowfall. About 3 inches covered my porch today. With the nasty weather, I chose to stay home to work today rather than walk in the snow, slush and cold wind. The next iteration of a paper was accomplished with further revisions. One item for a meeting tomorrow was distributed. These and the one meeting today left a feeling of accomplishment.

The horizontal snow today reminded me of the flurry of writing projects and deadlines swirling around my head and desk. While these deadlines clustered together can cause stress, they also will soon be gone. Similarly, the snow that fell today will soon be gone due to the warmth of the sun and the soil. Living in the moment should help with mindfulness, yet worrying about the future endpoints doesn't help accomplish that goal. Moving through things one at a time will see things completed. I'm working on that concept, but anxiety creeps in when you least expect it.

The song for today contains lyrics that express the idea that all things occur when they are meant to happen. The folk song feel of this suits the singer's voice well. Enjoy!

The Snow it Melts the Soonest -- Sting

Day 6 - 106 -- Readjustments

Today brought major adjustments. A project needed to be refocused to fit new guidelines. While I spent some time venting and working to process this, by the time we met to discuss things, I felt calmer. That approach along with some laughter helped to move into a solution oriented space. In the end, a plan appeared and I feel the project will function well in a revised format.

When plans are changed by external forces, I often feel confused and frustrated. Negative feelings prevail while working through how something will fit into a new format. Once I relax and begin to see solutions instead of a problem, emotions change. This make s speaking about the situation easier -- helping others understand the difficulty in changing plans and reworking a project as well as working with a team to implement the new plans. Often both tasks need communicating.  Being in a positive frame of mind promotes both practices.

A song lyric struck me as fitting the events of the day. The early frustrations may be more of the 'fight' response that is followed by the more positive 'teamwork' response.  The lyrics simply state a positive response. Enjoy!

I'll be back up on my feet again -- The Monkees

Day 6 - 105 -- Altered Perceptions

Today saw the end of the course I took this term. The final exam was written in a huge rink arena with oodles of chairs and tables. I haven't written this kind of exam in a similar venue for eons. I found a seat near the front and where there was no one writing on the table next to mine. That helped with the expected anxiety since I couldn't see all those other people nor could I be distracted by all that movement. I carefully worked through the questions taking my time. It took me just over an hour to complete. As I walked back, it took little time for me to realize that one of the questions that had me overthinking things was likely answered incorrectly as I got a guitarist and a drummer mixed up in my head during the exam. Not a huge issue, of course. 

Seeing the world from the viewpoint of a student has been interesting. Obviously, I don't see things like those around me in class given my experience standing at the front of the room for years; I do see things differently, though. Even a glimpse from the perspective of someone else can help to inform one's take on a situation. I recognize I'm an odd hybrid, but I've enjoyed being on the other side for a change. There is still a lot of work -- just different than what I've done as an instructor.  

A line from a song ran around in my head today. This was the first single off the first album of an influential band of the '60s. Their style fit a number of sub-genres of rock. Enjoy! 

Break on Through (to the Other Side) -- The Doors

Day 6 - 104 -- Relaxing Rest

Much of today was spent reviewing notes for the final exam tomorrow. This was interrupted by breaks to finish the laundry, wash my hair and make supper <smile>. I chose to take the evening off and just let the information marinate in my head for now. With 100 multiple choice questions, it is difficult to determine what specifics of the vast content will be included. I re-read it all and hope that the question format will help me with finding the correct responses. I just need a good rest tonight so I can tackle tomorrow well. 

Recent events have led me to reflect on the emotions that come with feeling overwhelmed -- fear and confusion being near the top of the lengthier list. When in the midst of this type of situation, one can feel the urge to run away or the need to hide somewhere. I've thought this to be similar to the 'horse to the barn' instinct -- that need to go somewhere that feels safe - even if it isn't. Such urges augment the overwhelming feelings. For some, it may go beyond anxiety and border on panic. When we run and hide from everything, how can we help each other recenter? Hmm.

A lyric came to mind today, while thinking of these emotional responses to life -- "Once there was a way to get back home."  The song had a wonderful lullaby tone to it. It was part of the last recorded album of a major group. The link shared here is to the song fragment alone, though it is generally heard linked to other partial songs on this album. The arrangement for this one is lovely. Enjoy! 

Golden Slumbers -- The Beatles (Abbey Road album) 

Day 6 - 103 -- Taking Advice

Rain fell throughout the night and well into the morning. That made it easier to do the inside work today <smile>. One of the written tasks was put into another draft format. Reading through some of the course content before the final exam Monday is happening. There is no way that all video, audio and print materials could be reviewed in the final week. Seems I didn't take my own advice to students over the past decades -- I didn't start studying before the course ended.

It can be disconcerting when I realize that advice I provide others is overlooked by me in similar situations. I understand that when providing advice, I occupy a very different space than when I need advice. For some reason, that helpful aspect of brain work doesn't come to the fore when we begin to feel overwhelmed. Perhaps this requires someone external who can help the one seeking advice to see things in a more organized manner. Depending on the situation, we may not be competent to play both roles simultaneously. I haven't taken a course with classroom lectures for years -- like decades. Other courses completed have been online, which often allowed a student to work at their own pace. Some skill sets have returned -- note-taking, making study notes and critical thinking -- all different than those used as an instructor. So, study skills are rusty it seems -- well at least for a final exam covering all content. My goal involves spending most time with the section since the midterm that includes music genres with which I'm less familiar. Reading all my class notes will occur, too. Luckily the exam occurs in the afternoon, so no early morning necessary and hopefully that will mean a reasonable sleep. 

Given the day of the week, one song came to mind. The title has been my online nick for 23 years. The lyrics are fun and the singer a favourite of mine since childhood. Enjoy!


Saturday's Child -- The Monkees

Day 6 - 102 -- Pushing Through

Sun and blue skies greeted my day. Most of the day was spent getting study notes together for review over the weekend. Much of the stuff I know, but there is a lot of detail that needs to be sorted through. Luckily the exam is multiple choice, so that helps to jog the memory a bit. I've often said if life's conversations were multiple choice, I'd do much better than the usual verbal charades to get the name of a person, movie or whatever. <sigh> I can only hope that will assist me with this exam, too.

I took a break to do some short errands for household management. The air was much colder than it looked <smile>. The north wind carried a chill and I had carried gloves just in case <smile>. As I walked, I realized that I had a headache, which might have something to do with the tired feeling pushing on me. Once I got home, I felt less oppressed by tasks. I tackled part of the one that will be on the agenda for tomorrow. A light supper and soak in the tub with a good novel helped to release some of the muscle tension present.

An upbeat blues song came to mind today. The singer delivers the lyrics with an optimistic tone. Enjoy!

Saved by the Blues -- Peter Tork and Shoe Suede Blues

Day 6 - 101 -- Feeling Weary

The morning began gray and dreary. I woke early after a disrupted sleep so felt tired all day. An early meeting helped to answer some questions which reduced anxiety -- at least for that personal issue <smile>. I worked on the project that needs to be presented in a meeting next week getting together my part of a the three person presentation. There is still much polishing needed for my part before the dry run through next week. I also need to organize things for the final exam I write on Monday -- a lot of content to cover. The sun came out by afternoon and the walk home was in bright sunshine. I headed to bed earlier than usual in hopes of feeling more ready to push through the two projects tomorrow. <fingers crosed>

Today I'm sharing a song that fit my overall weariness, since that was the backdrop to the entire day. 

Tired -- Toby Keith

Day 6 - 100 -- Refashioning Focus

Today surprised me. I'm in the midst of five separate projects. Juggling these has worked well until the past week or so when deadlines began looming for more than one of these. My brain can't handle writing several things at once given the writing process I've used forever. I write onto screen or paper after my brain has organized and written and edited. I skip the 'just write something' phase. I know others who write this way and it is excruciating <smile>. I've had to try to write before my brain has done the heavy lifting. It is trying, but often bits get crossed when writing several things at once. So -- after much thought, I realize that I have to focus on one thing at a time. Get one project near the final draft and then move to the next item. Some will take a few days while others may take less time. Regardless of time, the brain won't work in a way that it simply wasn't wired to do.

When feeling stressed, it can often only take one more thing for everything to come crashing down. When the personal encroaches, that needs to be cared for first. If not, nothing will be managed as it all swirls into some hateful vortex of doom. My revelation today gave me a direction. I hope that the new plan works <smile>.

A song from years back came to mind. The lyrics provide direction similar to what I've thought of today. Enjoy!

Don't Stop -- Fleetwood Mac

Day 6 - 99 -- Response to Compliments

Where to begin -- it has been a full day. The ground wore a thick white covering when I looked at the great outdoors through the windows in the night. In the morning, the sun was bright and strong. It helped me to feel warm when the air temperature was not much above freezing. The snow ran from the sun, so much was gone by noon.  Once into the office when I got the computer up and running, it became clear that a notice I'd expected later in the afternoon had come out mid-morning. My inbox was filling quickly from a deluge of good wishes from colleagues, friends, and current and past students. I am the 2019 recipient of a major professional award -- based on pioneering, innovative work over my career. Wow -- it is overwhelming (in a good way) and very humbling.

I found myself thinking through the day about the many people who have supported my journey -- school teachers, professors, colleagues, students, friends and family. Without each of these people, I wouldn't have been able to do what I've done -- since none of this I've done alone. People have listened to my sometimes goofy ideas <smile>, and helped me to run with them. Others listened to me vent when things  became frustrating and hurdles blocked my planned path. People accepted me for who I am, which helped tremendously. Like the sun today, they cared for me along the road.

Having grown up where women were not empowered to speak about their accomplishments without being seen as braggarts, accepting praise can be difficult. I had a bit of time to sit with the news before the public notice. This helped me. To respond to the kind words hang onto humility and avoid self-deprecation. These thoughts brought a song to mind -- like no one expected that <smile>. The lyrics provide a goal for living one's life. Enjoy!

Humble and Kind -- Tim McGraw

Day 6 - 98 -- Challenges

Some sun appeared this morning but cloud took over by afternoon. Forecasters tell us that snow will be around for the next couple of days. Accumulations here are far less than those expected in the south or through NB. With warmer ground, anything that sticks will not remain long. I ran out for groceries before an unplanned appointment. In that sense, this was a proverbial Monday.

Being courageous and trying to face fears can be challenging. People may need to melt into a puddle of fright or panic before regrouping for the main event. Supporting those in our lives brings similar emotions. That may help with empathy instead of sympathy -- the goal of any form of supportive behaviour.

I heard part of a song on the morning show today. The full lyrics describe the type of support I was thinking of today. The singer possesses an amazing voice. The song is from the soundtrack to a movie being released next week. Enjoy!

I'm Standing with You -- Chrissy Metz

Day 6 -- 97 -- Encumbered Thoughts

I woke early this morning with lines and phrasing for a paper we are writing running through my head. No wonder I'm tired these days, if I'm working on the writing of several projects overnight. I generally write several versions of a paper project in my head. When I sit down to write or type, things come out in full sentences and paragraphs have been organized. With the four large projects currently in the writing phase, I find I'm not able to focus on one at time as well. I've done outlines and tried to populate these, but things just don't seem to flow the way they do if I work on one at a time. I shouldn't complain, as it is an embarrassment of riches to  have more than one project to write for publication.

When I write, I really do need that focus. So, I may have to revisit the current writing model. Feeling fractured and unfocused requires time for quiet reflection in order to be able to develop that focused writing style. I also don't want to feel so anxious that I spin my wheels every day on these projects. There again, is the need for clarity and balance. Retirement was not meant to become another full time job.

The lyrics of a song from a group featured here often, seemed well suited to the thoughts of the day. The song comes from an album that marked a departure in style of the band. Enjoy!

There's Too Much on My Mind -- The Kinks

Day 6 - 96 -- Wearing the Plaid

This dreary sort of day began with snow that melted as it hit the ground, which was followed by rain. I worked inside doing Saturday chores. The highlight of the day was a wonderful chat with a colleague and friend. It has been a long time between chats and this was a good one. <smile>

Being open to the unexpected -- whether that be snow that doesn't stick or a call from a friend -- can provide some joy in the midst of those dreary moments in life. Spontaneity can be rather emancipatory. Being closed off to opportunities might keep us in that dank, grey spot we inhabit. Look up and see what is around you. You just might find a happy surprise.

Today is also tartan day -- a day to celebrate Scots heritage in North America. It began in the mid-1980s in Canada. It seemed appropriate to share a song about tartan. After all, I live in the highland heart of Nova Scotia. <smile> It is interesting to note that this key part of Scottish culture had been banned after the second Jacobite rising in 1745. For 36 years owning any piece of clan tartan was illegal and considered treason to the English king. The song lyrics are found in the shared video file. Enjoy!

The Tartan -- Jack Sinclair Showband

Day 6 - 95 -- Sure Sign of Spring

While washing up after breakfast today, I noticed my first robin of the season. They have been back for a while, but I hadn't seen one in my yard yet. Some of that may have been due to weird weather and icy parts of the yard that make finding food difficult for the birds. It was  pleasant to see this sign of spring, though.

Winds were still strong this morning and cold out of the north. At a seminar across campus I dropped my gloves in the hallway. They were placed on one of the hall chairs but were gone by the time I returned. Others had seen them. I do hope that if someone took them, they needed to have warm hands today. I walked across campus and later home with my hands in my pockets to try to keep a bit warm. I have more gloves at home, so will be fine if they aren't found. It seemed an odd way to end the week -- one that seemed to go on forever <smile>

A song from the mid-20th century came to mind for the blog today. The tempo and rhythm are fun and the lyrics border on silly, but it is a recognizable song from the era. Enjoy!

Rockin' Robin -- Bobby Day

Day 6 - 94 -- Taking Flight?

I  walked out to a meeting early this morning mainly with the wind at my back. Heading back home afterwards had me walking head on into huge winds with gusts that did their best to push me off course and almost into the street. Wind was stronger than anything I encountered in the storm yesterday. Walking up to campus meant major cross winds that buffeted me around like a leaf. I had to stop to turn my back into the wind at one point and squat down a bit to remain rooted on the ground. I had been listening to music as I walked, but the wind was so loud I couldn't hear through the earbuds. Crazy. Working inside even without windows in the office, the winds could be heard howling around the building. Once home, in late afternoon, I found the remnants of a large branch from one of the trees lying on the ground. It fell and broke into pieces on impact. It was directly under the wires -- power, fiberop. Somehow the wind moved it around on the trip from tree to ground so that it missed landing on the wires -- a major point of gratitude for the day.

I wondered if the universe was sending me a message today -- one regarding my chosen directions. Was the wind letting me know there was something that needed examination? Or did it just want to dance? A line of a song lyric buzzed around in my head a bit. The lines from a chorus reminded me of what it felt the wind was attempting to do as we did battle today. The song uses synthesized and sung lyrics in an interesting manner. Enjoy!

Knock me off my feet -- Dan Talevski

Day 6 - 93 -- Spring Nor'easter

What a crazy weather day! I woke to major overcast skies. By mid-morning, snow was falling. Big fluffy flakes turned to tiny flakes as I walked into campus. By the time I was almost to the building, ice pellets were falling at greater than a 45 degree angle. I managed to walk through a building to avoid half of the walk directly into the huge wind and precipitation. By mid-afternoon, the wind was ferocious but precipitation had turned fully to rain -- rain that was moving in sheets across the parking lot. On the top floor (third floor) the vibration of the building was perceptible. As I made supper there appeared to be no precipitation and the trees were not doing the I wanna be free dance. Twenty minutes later when I headed across campus to my night class, the rain was back in sheets. Luckily the wind was at my back most of that trek. When I arrived at the other building, my bag was quite wet and I needed to towel down the jacket and rain pants before hanging them on the empty seat beside me. When class ended, it was just a light drizzle but the wind was unforgiving. I felt like a mime walking against the wind at one point.

This is common spring weather -- a late nor'easter with storm force winds and mixed precipitation. One person made a silly comment about this not being spring like a family member in the southern US was experiencing. I suggested this person could move there, too, if it meant that much to miss this great season. That comment was met with little enthusiasm <smile>.  While I prefer a gentle rain, I was pleased that the snow did not accumulate here. The wind is to remain for another day, but with little if any stuff falling from the sky. I'll take it. <smile>  The headache isn't entirely gone today, but the cooler air felt good on my face when walking, which provided some relief -- beats an ice pack any day.

I found a song performed by an singer-songwriter with a well recognized voice. The lyrics fit with some of the painful precipitation today and the unrelenting wind. Enjoy!

Rainy Day Blues -- Willie Nelson

Day 6 - 92 -- Reduced Cognitive Functioning

A bright sunny morning greeted me when I woke. I headed to the office and realized how fatigued I was when I arrived. I slept fitfully last night so put it down to that. Throughout the afternoon, I found myself deep into editing and revising a document. I got up to walk to the printer when I discovered that my head hurt -- a lot. Somehow the pain of a migraine had stealthily taken hold of my brain. I realized then that the extreme fatigue and fogginess of the morning were the upside of a migraine <sigh>. I shut down the electronics and headed home -- nausea growing as I walked downhill home. I had a shower before things got too bad -- where even the water hurts the head and skin. I felt I could eat something small, so opted for scrambled eggs since they were bland flavoured and quick to produce -- all aimed to ensure I got something into the system while I had the chance. After eating the meal, I promptly fell asleep -- hence, the lateness of this blog.

The title of a song came to mind much later when cognitive functions seemed to be more operational. I also find the tempo changes of this selection were unexpected and somewhat confusing -- attributes of the headache, too. The singer was in his heyday for this one. Enjoy!

Devil in Disguise -- Elvis Presley

Day 6 - 91 -- April Fool

April has arrived complete with April showers overnight and through the morning. It felt cool with the winds, heavy cloud and humidity, then the temperature dropped close to freezing by supper time. Forecasters suggest another day of heavy rain in mid-week and the rain-snow mixes by the end of the week. Spring is in full swing -- swinging temperatures and precipitation types. Even with the sunny days in between rain events, it isn't to be really warm.

Someone asked if they should put away the winter outerwear last week. Really? <smile>  My shovels remain at the back door until the last frost in April or May. No need to tempt fate. Even with the 'April Fool' concept present this morning, the weather really was chilly, despite the numbers being above the freezing point. I love enthusiasm and excitement, but it just won't be sunbathing weather for a while, so chill (so to speak <grin>). I'm looking forward to watching the small daily changes as things begin to turn green again and then the early blooms appear. I like the soft spring rain like we had today. The next one looks like heavier rain with an inch or so during the day. That makes puddles and there is enough mud in the front area where things drain slowly all year.

A song lyric made me smirk today so it had to be shared. The singer has a pleasant gravel tinge to his voice. Enjoy!

Fool (if you think it's over) -- Chris Rea