The morning began with a bang! I heard some scratching and then some banging around and blamed the neighbours. When I heard a metallic ring, I got up to investigate. Outside the window a scaffold was being built. I was going to have a shower, but there was a man standing on the other side of the window. Once I was dressed for outside, I went to find out what was up. They clearly were roofers, but no one let me know they were planning to work on this house today -- not the company or the landlord (who told me they wouldn't arrive until next summer). These guys didn't even phone or ring the darn doorbell. What is up with that? It isn't unusual for roofers, it seems, after moaning about this abrupt start to my day to others at work. The workers will be back again tomorrow and hopefully will be completed by end of day.
I had to take the furry one with me to the office since he'd lose his mind if alone in a house with nail guns, loud voices and thumping above his head. Poor boy found the office a bit stressful, but he was much less jumpy than he'd been at home. He'll have to come with me again tomorrow and stay crated under the desk while I meet with folks in the office. It will be a long day since the workers are here until supper time and I have a longer meeting at the end of the afternoon. It is also the early day tomorrow with an 8:15 class, but will need some extra time to settle the furry friend before I head to class. Another day of adventure to be sure.
A song about strange goings on outside the windows came to mind today. It fits the hallowe'en theme, too. The song and video made history when first broadcast during a soft drink commercial. The dance has a bit of a cult following. I've chosen the longer version video -- a mini movie for your Hallowe'en viewing pleasure. Enjoy!
Have you ever wondered why one day you feel like everything is almost perfect and the next day you feel something very opposite to that? I've had a number of these days where moods swing up and then down with a lot of blah feeling flat days in between. The lower days seem filled with worry and fear or anger and crankiness. Some days all those emotions are involved, which makes it difficult to describe. Someone told me that grief shows up even when you don't recognize it as such -- like it is playing masquerade. The moods show up in the body as aches and pains or overall fatigue and yuckiness. Trying to make sense of the physical manifestations can be a challenge. How does one know if it is related to grief or really something that needs to be checked on by an expert?
Fatigue can be followed by other physical symptoms, too. Daily activities and special happenings seem less enticing than expected. Going for a walk helps sometimes as does listening to music. But often finding something that can disconnect the brain from the negative feelings is difficult. I've recognized these symptoms in myself and others in the past couple of months. It may be stresses of the academic year that exacerbate the issues we've each been dealing with before the term blew up as it is wont to do. One might think that dealing with things collectively could occur, yet sadly, such issues seem to be dealt with quietly and alone -- though I'd hazard this is much less effective.
All that pondering led me to an interesting song written 50+ years ago by a major singer/songwriter. It notes that experience feeling down might help others in some way. Interestingly, it was written with an upbeat tempo. The video shared today contains a performance from a Gershwin Prize ceremony honouring the songwriter. The combination of artists and slight tempo difference from the original recording, adds further to the bounciness of the song. Enjoy!
Man with the Blues -- Paul Simon ft. Buckwheat Zydeco
It was a sort of grey Saturday, but the temperature was at least double digits so not overly cold feeling. Nothing too out of the ordinary happening around the house today. In Saskatchewan it was a special day. The final game was played at the Mosaic stadium at Taylor Field. I watched the game, and while the Riders lost to BC, the sea of green in the stands showed that Rider nation pride in full force. I have been to games at the field in the past and experienced the live game play -- without instant replay -- while being in the midst of a huge cheering crowd. Thankfully, the melon head craze happened after I moved to the Maritimes. <smile> Thanks to a good friend, I have some great Rider gear. I wear the toque and neck warmer when shoveling snow in the winter to make me smile and t-shirts to remind me of home.
Moving to the newly built stadium which is very near the old field will begin soon. There are some sentimental feelings about leaving the old game place, which is not unlike any move we make in life -- new home, new job, new town, new school. Leaving something brings sadness to see an ending, along with some anticipation for what will come next. Change can be frightening and it can be exciting -- often at the same time. It can be confusing -- tears of sadness mixed with laughter. This may be life's way of telling us that we can hold on to memories, but to grow we will have to move on to make new memories or risk stagnating.
I chose a couple of songs for the day. The first is a song about the Rider fans, while the second reminded me of the dedicated fans regardless of the win-loss stats. Enjoy!
Paint the Whole World Green -- Jason Plumb and the Willing
Quiet -- it can be oppressive or comforting. I prefer quiet when working or concentrating, though there are times that I plug in the iPod to block outside noise. The latter works best if there is a single task that will take an hour or more. Living in a small community, nights are much quieter than being in the city -- fewer sirens, street traffic and people noise (except on party weekends for students <smile>). When I visit in the city, I find that I wake often in the night due to outside noises. When I lived there, I slept through it all even living on a bus route twice. It is interesting that the mind learns to block regular sounds as we sleep. The trains that run through town overnight rarely bother me. When I moved here, I was happy to hear that sound. It reminded me of home since I grew up a few blocks from the main train yard.
Silence can come from within, as well. We may choose to hold back comments in some situations rather than add the extra noise or difficulty that the comments may bring. That can take training and a lot of self discipline at times, but it pays off in the end. Inner stillness can create a feeling of quiet internally. It is akin to being at peace, and allows one to think reflectively and reflexively -- or just to be a force for calm in a frenetic situation.
Part of a song that came to mind today asks for calm or quiet -- or maybe both. The repeated lyric in the chorus can sound a bit desperate when seeking quiet, but it may also reflect the urgency of bringing on calm in those trickier situations. Enjoy!
Thursday -- it can be a rather nondescript kind of day, I worked on two of the major piles on the desk to get things in order for tomorrow. There were a couple of 'short' discussions that turned into much longer conversations that were quite interesting, though not really about the work topic where they'd begun. After clearing the e-mail inbox, reading and responding to those not deleted immediately, I felt totally wiped out. It was almost 6 PM, so I realized I needed to eat and headed home. Eating did help me feel a bit more alert so the evening reading for a meeting tomorrow was completed fairly well. I then chose to sit in bed hoping the covers would help me feel warmer. It has been cool today and a bit damp that only added to the cold feeling.
I've encountered a feeling of hunger that affects my mood before. It isn't a regular thing, but there seem to be some days when lower blood sugar makes me feel irritated. There is a term that has been attached to this sort of event -- 'hangry.' Much as I dislike many new word combos, this one does seem reasonably descriptive of what I've felt. The brain functions best with glucose, using it preferentially to other energy sources. When blood glucose levels drop between eating episodes, the nervous system may not work at peak level creating feelings of fatigue, less sharp thinking processes and sometimes negative emotions. Today was another example of the need to pay attention to internal cues. Taking a moment to check in during very busy days is necessary, yet often people are working to take care of others rather than taking care of themselves. It is an intriguing conundrum and something to try to force into the consciousness more often. <smile>
Lyrics of a song that seemed to fit the day well, cover the craziness of the day and the feelings of fatigue that accompany it. It has a relaxed tempo and a blues approach by a singer from back in the day. Enjoy!
Thursday (here's why I didn't go to work today) -- Harry Nilsson
Today involved much thinking about the past, its effect on the present and moving into the future. Pop culture advice is to leave the past behind. Yet, the past developed the person we each are today. It can't be fully left behind. Examination of experiences that have an impact on our current behaviours is one part of dealing with the past -- acknowledge it -- and then move forward. So we don't really leave it behind; instead we face it head on and let it go. In this way, we allow ourselves to live in the present and the future and not to be stuck in the past.
All of that sounds reasonable, but it is not an easy task. Coming to terms with the unpleasant parts of our lives can be done -- it takes time and dedication mixed with a touch of courage. There will be days when the ghosts of the past visit, but the goal is that they are mercifully short visits. <smile>. Understanding who we are can be rather freeing, I believe. So the introspection can assist with knowing and liking oneself.
A song came through my mind today as I was walking along Main Street. The lyrics speak to the desire to move forward. The title is a bit odd, but if you look at it long enough, it will make sense after listening to the lyrics. I love the vocals on this one. Some of you may recognize her as Leather Tuscadero and if you do you are showing your age <grin>. Enjoy! Cat Size -- Suzi Quatro
I had an interesting discussion today with a friend. We spoke about an overall feeling of world weariness that seems to settle in at this point in the term. Too much work and not enough hours seem to create feelings of generalized disappointment and the discomfort that can produce. The phenomenon seems to move one out of a place of peace. This made me search around for definitions of philosophical terms that might fit this sense of unrest.
That first paragraph seems to have touched upon the definitions of three concepts. Firstly, the world weariness fits the German concept of weltschmerz, which is defined as an emotional pain that occurs when one realizes their ideal of the world does not match reality. Hmm -- that sounds somewhat familiar. <smile> Angst, as an existential concept, covers the feelings of discomfort that push one out of their comfortable zone, resulting in something akin to feelings of dissatisfaction or nothingness. Each of these overlaps aspects of ennui, world weariness or disappointment -- that feeling of not caring or inertia. So, whatever we call it, the feelings have been well discussed by philosophers for some time. We've not discovered something new -- another reason to feel that weariness with the lack of something new and exciting. <grin>.
All this deep thought brought a particular song to mind. The singer-songwriter has been featured here often. His singing style combines singing and rhythmic spoken word. I love this live version since it highlights the band members more than the album recording. The title and lyrics fit very well with this sort of reflective thought. Enjoy!
The weather today was gorgeous. Bright sunshine made the world look gold as it shone through the leaves in my front yard. Once I'd gotten some of the office work semi-together, I headed out to the cape to see what was left of the leaves and to enjoy this glorious fall day. There was a light breeze there today -- a place that usually guarantees a wind. The water was fairly calm with only the hint of a buoy bell off the cliff side. I walked around briefly and took a few photos, then headed back to town before the setting sun got too low -- that extreme low angle that happens at this time of year that just blinds a driver.
On the home front, the continuing saga of the phantom doorbell ringing continues. A 30-40 minute episode occurred yesterday afternoon. Today, a friend brought a motion sensitive night camera that was installed in the attic to see if we can identify the culprit. The camera is generally used for research and this does qualify as a type of research, right? <grin> We'll wait a couple of days and then see what might have been captured in photos.
The lovely day with lack of wind brought a song to mind. I love the title and the bluesy rhythms of this one. The singer is one that is featured here often. I found this video particularly poignant and the car going down a road wasn't fully lost on me <smile>. Enjoy!
The wind arrived during the day today, but with some lovely sunshine. Cooler temperatures should follow for the rest of the week -- likely in the 40s F or 8-9 C. That's a far cry from the warmer temperatures of the past few days. I spent the day grading papers that need to be returned to students on Tuesday. The paper pile was completed by early evening today but much online grading remains -- about 90 discussions as of today with more coming by the end of the week.
It always feels good to get one project completed, even when many others are still covering the desktop. Tomorrow will be further grading and report generation for admin meetings this week. Deadlines that occur during the midterm and end of term times seems odd when they come from within the academic organization. Though, I expect there would always be something to interfere with major admin deadlines. Some reports are just frustrating to prepare <smile>.
The song that came to mind today is by a Canadian group. The lyrics deal with working in an office and for yourself. Either of these can be filled with busy work -- the administrivia of business. Enjoy!
Taking Care of Business -- Bachman & Turner ft Paul Schaeffer
Well -- we did get some rain overnight and bits throughout the day today. Winds were not too strong in this area. Temperatures now (midnight) are still hovering around 20+ C. (~70 F.) with major humidity, so the system hasn't fully left the area. It is to be a few degrees cooler tomorrow with some sun. My day was spent closely intertwined with laundry and grading. So -- a typical Saturday during teaching term.
I had the tv on in the background while grading to help drown out outside distracting noise. Sadly by evening, this didn't work as neighbours half a block away chose to have a huge blowout party, which is still underway. So frustrating. What makes them think they are so special that laws and civility don't apply to them? <sigh>
One of the shows that was on in the background today was part of a Doctor Who day on the Space channel. It was my favourite episode -- if one can have only one favourite DW episode <smile> -- "Vincent and the Doctor." While it pulls aliens into the story line, it also portrayed this amazing artist well, including his health issues. I've seen some of his paintings in museums. They are so evocative and the colours so vibrant. I've had tears in my eyes from the beauty he created -- showing his interpretation of the world around him -- things we often take for granted and just walk by daily. He painted everyday life -- the beauty of everyday life -- while he endured much mental pain.
Making beauty from unpleasantness is the crux of the lyric for the song of the day. The poetry of the lyric and the soothing vocals can bring a sense of calm. Enjoy! Diamonds made from Rain -- Eric Clapton
Another week has passed. There seemed to be consensus at the office that people feel they've fallen behind and that the pile of work and grading is more than daunting -- and seems insurmountable. These are common feelings at this time of year for all on campus. I looked at the calendar and was surprised that we were into the last quarter of October. How does that happen? My week has been filled with meetings and appointments that have cut into the time allotted to grading. So -- it seems the weekend will see that and little else -- other than laundry and housecleaning chores.
To add to the stress, there are two low pressure systems headed this way -- one out of Ontario and one coming up the eastern coast of the US. A rainfall warning is in place locally for 50-80 mm/2 to 3 inches or more. Wind warnings are in place for areas northeast of here, with some windier conditions to occur locally. The anticipation of a storm and expectations of power outages, flash flooding and property damage add to the anxiety of midterm time. When I arrived home tonight, I packed a 'go bag' in case we have to leave the house. The temperatures should be warmer with the tropical air from the south, so if just a power outage we won't be cold, just not able to do laundry, cook or make a good cup of tea. However, other damage could mean we need to relocate temporarily. I was a Girl Guide and still live by the 'be prepared' motto <smile>. So -- bags semi-ready to go. Charged electronics are at the ready -- iPod for the quiet times in a power disruption and phone charged in case landline is lost. I'd rather be prepared than not -- it helps me to sleep during the night.
When thinking of the sitting and waiting aspect of an impending storm, a couple lines from a song lyric came to mind. The song is from the '80s, but I found a video of the singer/songwriter that is more recent and shows him without the crazy '80s hair <smile>. Enjoy!
Perhaps it is my sleep deprived brain at work -- at least something resembling processing of information. My thoughts have moved to the absurd regarding the middle of the night doorbell ringing. It does appear that this is preceded by some loud scratching in the attic, Yes, something has taken up residence there -- a squatter for sure.
I've decided that the creature -- rat, squirrel, or raccoon -- must have dreams of becoming a music star. While I do love music, I'm not sure that I can support practice sessions that occur between 4 and 6 AM. The dedication of the critter is clear; scratching its way into the attic seems to take 15-20 minutes every night -- so it doesn't seem an easy entry to the practice hall. Practice sessions run from 10 to 30 minutes -- followed by a blessed silence. It is interesting that the loud bell tones seem not to be an environmental deterrent stimulus for the critter. Perhaps it has been deafened by the din, which might explain the lack of tonality to the songs being played.
This train of thought brought to mind a couple of musical directions. I've chosen to share both here tonight. Each represents a potential musical dream of this irritating interloper. The first may be in preparation for the 150th anniversary of Canada, while the other may represent the longer term dream. Enjoy!
This week has seen the arrival of news in a number of forms. Appointments and meetings have brought verbal news that has been mostly positive. In fact, a couple of meetings gave me reason to see things in a more positive light and go so far as to hope for better outcomes <smile>. Other news brought feelings of sadness and concern for others.
When I write it like this, it sounds like something one would expect from life -- ups and downs. From a statistical perspective, perhaps this means that life is trending towards the mean. This overall view shouldn't squelch the importance of the the ups or the downs. Each swing in the direction of incoming communications could send us into a similar emotional upheaval. I don't mean that we shouldn't acknowledge the emotions whether up or down, but that we may not want to let those emotions take over fully and pull us to extremes in one direction or another. In short -- feel the happiness and feel the sadness but not allow either to put us into a slingshot out of control. Just a thought that I am exploring further.
The selection for today has a title and chorus that fits these musings, though I'm not sure 'little' fits all the ups and downs well. The singer has a great country voice. Enjoy!
It has been an interesting day. It began way too early when I woke with a painful head. To take the meds that help with this, I had to eat something so I had breakfast before 6 AM. It was a cooler morning but pleasant for walking into the office for the 8:15 class. The rest of the morning was filled with a meeting, oodles of e-mails, a quick lunch at my desk and a second class at 12:15. I left for an appointment right after that -- an eye appointment which included dilating pupils and many bright lights. The headache meds helped to keep it at bay during these events that often trigger or exacerbate the pain. Once home, I ate smaller meals for supper and evening snack -- this, too, also helps with treatment of migraine for me.
The walk home from the eye appointment was delightful. It was cloudy and cooler than earlier in the day, but very pleasant for walking. I stopped to pay two bills and chat with people in the office. Along the walk I was amazed to see the most gorgeous deep pink-red roses -- looked like a grandiflora or florabunda variety -- very beautiful. Two maple trees on my street have reached the peak for red and red-orange colours. One is directly across the street and the other is one house up hill from there. The burning bushes have turned their deep pinkish red. These tend to take my breath away, since the colour seems an impossible leaf colour. I arrived home feeling less stressed than when I left home this morning. That seems due to the nature encountered as well as the work and personal interactions today.
It seemed best to choose a song that sounded like I felt this afternoon. The one that came to mind somewhat defies genre categorization. It has a banjo, but not the banjo you'd expect to hear. No lyrics for this one, either. Enjoy!
Flight of the cosmic Hippo -- Bela Fleck and the Flecktones
Today, as occurs every October 17th, is the International Day for the Eradication of Poverty. This UN day is meant to bring the topic out into the light. UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon has stated, "Poverty is not simply measured by inadequate income. It is manifested in restricted access to health, education and other essential services and, too often, by the denial or abuse of other fundamental human rights [...] Let us listen to and heed the voices of people living in poverty. Let us commit to respect and defend the human rights of all people and end the humiliation and social exclusion that people living in poverty face every day by promoting their involvement in global efforts to end extreme poverty once and for all." I've been privileged to travel to many parts of the world -- near and far from home. Poverty is readily visible in all places I've visited. Some areas find ways of hiding the poverty through relocation programs as seen in cities that hold major international events and in areas where gentrification sees that many people are forced to relocate when they can no longer afford rent where they've lived for years. Urbanization has been witnessed in large cities in developing nations, where rural residents move to the city to follow the promise of work and money. Rural dwellers, even those in our own country, may find it difficult to make a living in agricultural pursuits. Once in the city, infrastructure may not support the large influx of people, so shanty towns spring up wherever there is a spare piece of land -- squatting becomes common. In all areas I've visited, homeless people live on the streets and panhandlers try to make ends meet. Someone once told me a story of a woman who offered a part-time janitor job to a panhandler. She was insulted when he refused, telling her he could make more than a minimum wage part time job doing what he was doing every day. Rather than being upset with the panhandler, perhaps we need to look at the system within which such a fiscal reality exists. The theme for this year is "Moving from humiliation and exclusion to participation -- ending poverty in all its forms." Charity alone cannot fix this global problem, but policy and system change to move towards equity for all can. It will take time, but it is worth working towards. There were a few songs that I toyed with using today, but one seemed to fit the theme of humiliation and exclusion best. Enjoy! Another Day in Paradise -- Phil Collins
Today is World Food Day. The theme this year is "Climate is changing - Food and Agriculture must too." As the world population is expected to increase to about 9.5 billion by 2050, the food supply becomes central to survival of all. The campaign for 2016 stresses the need for sustainable food production, as the key to producing enough food over the long term. Finding methods to grow more food on less land is necessary. Agriculture will need to find ways to increase sustainable production of varieties of food that have greater resilience to the challenges of climate change. More drought, flood and disease resistant techniques have been in development for some time, but further work is needed.
Farmers and ranchers were part of my life as I grew up in the prairies. Family members and friends were (and still are) involved in the production of cereal crops, pulses, dairy and small and large animals. Living on the east coast, I am closer to the fisheries and seaweed industries. Primary production has been part of my immediate environment for most of my life. Some secondary production has been present in terms of flour mills, oil seed crushing plants, fish plants and fish oil production. Food and the food system are central to my profession, too. Finding a way to alter the global food system to be more sustainable is something in which everyone can play a role. It can change, though it won't be overnight. A quote from someone I admire greatly, Stephen Lewis, states, "You never give in to futility -- and one day the pendulum swings."
Today's selection is by a singer/songwriter from Alberta. It does speak to the changes that have been happening and how we might address them. Enjoy!
The day began abruptly with a doorbell ringing at 6 AM and again 5 minutes later. Answering a door in the dark of the night was not in my plans. As I became a bit more awake, I realized there was no noise from the porch. Also, the doorbell was a single tone instead of the usual dual tone. Once the sun was up by 7, I decided to make some chai and investigate out the windows a bit more. While standing by the door the bell rang again. This time is was a multiple tone like someone was pressing the button repeatedly. It was clear no one was at the door -- either door. With this realization, many thoughts left my head and I was able to relax a bit. It is likely an issue with the wiring, though I'm not sure how to disconnect the silly thing until it can be fixed. A note has been sent to the landlord with hope that it will be read and responded to quickly.
When awoken quickly from a deep sleep it takes the brain some time to begin to function well. Today, I kept looking out into the dark from the window where nothing could be seen. Turning on the outside light didn't seem to come to mind readily. It seems interesting that though I feel that I don't sleep well most nights, that sometimes that deeper sleep does happen. I think this is a good thing <smile>.
The song that came to mind today is from childhood. I'm sure most will know the song. Enjoy!
While the week has been shorter due to the Monday holiday -- part of a four day weekend on campus -- this has been one very long week. Tuesday began early with an 8:15 class -- need to get there in advance to get things set up and transported to lecture room. That day ended about 7 PM after a union meeting, That meeting presented the highlights of the latest negotiations. Ratification votes were held Wednesday and Thursday with the result shared today -- overwhelming majority voted to accept the agreement. Between the lectures and evening meeting were many further short meetings with students and colleagues. Wednesday started a bit later in the morning but a late faculty meeting ended about 6:45. Since I was still on campus, I chose to drop in to a talk by a local artist who holds the Chair in Social Justice at the Coady International Institute. Alan Syllaboy is a Mi'kmaq artist who grew up about an hour and a half from town. He spoke as a story-teller to give us a brief history of his life as an artist, his mentors and supporters along the journey, and where he is at present. He took us on a visual tour of many of his artworks from different periods. While holding the Social Justice Chair, he plans to move into a different style that focuses on protests by indigenous people. He spoke of the strength of protests that are organized by women versus those organized by men. He called the latter the warrior way and the former a more advocate way -- less violent, but continually hammering away at decision makers. I left just before the session ended though it was about 8:20 PM. Dinner at 9 in the evening is a bit odd here, though there are parts of the world where this is the norm. <smile>
Thursday and today held classes, more meetings, report generation, and planning larger meetings for next week. Committee work will play a major role in the coming weeks. A large pile of papers arrived today that will need to be graded in a week. Other online assignments are in the works, so those will be ready to grade next week. The weekend seems preordained as a time for grading. I'd rather that it be a time to do housework and fun things. It seems that this is common at this time of year, at least I've written about it in the past two years. I'm not sure why I find it surprising to be overwhelmed with work when this is the 19th year I've encountered this -- it really must be something like denial, pushing the negative out of mind.
The song chosen to share today talks about work that seems relentless. It is from a band that I have often featured here -- one I enjoy now just as I did in the past. Enjoy!
Early this morning I was listening to the news and I stopped and paid more attention to one shorter story. It described the awarding of a Nobel Prize in Literature to someone we tend to think of as a singer-songwriter. So today a poet received an award with reports noting that Bob Dylan performs his poetry through song. His lyrics have told stories of everyday people and provided social commentary.
Dylan has written a great many songs. It may be that everyone would recognize at least one of his songs, whether from a recording made by him or another artist. There is a popular culture ring to his work, yet that shouldn't diminish it. The lyrics clearly speak of the trials of life, which may provide the popular tone, since they speak to many people. Poetry should speak to the readers or listeners -- each will find a concept that applies to them at that point often recalling the words or at least the way in which the idea had been laid out. Poetry makes people think; it comforts them; it leads people to see things through a different lens. Dylan has touched many listeners in powerful ways.
Choosing a song for today seemed impossible. There are so many great songs from which to choose. I chose two for today. Each selection has amazing imagery that brings so many ideas to mind. Enjoy!
There has been something nagging at me for a while now. Open discussion about mental health issues has been growing. Several public campaigns to give permission to talk about mental health have involved testimonials from many living with such health difficulties. This can put a face on the health problem. I've seen improved understanding and willingness to talk openly amongst younger adults -- a definite ray of hope in shrinking the public stigma surrounding mental health situations.
Back to what irks me -- all conversations that speak about mental health have a goal to normalize such diagnoses -- working to validate these as bona fide health issues. I do believe this needs to be done. My questions surround the nomenclature. The term mental health still segregates this group of health problems from the very issues the conversation is trying to use as an overarching umbrella. Why not begin to speak of this grouping of diagnoses as medical conditions instead of using a different term that only serves to continue to separate mental health from medical care. Physiological and biochemical bases occur in all medical conditions -- including those covered under the mental health term. Does this separated terminology further entrench the social stigma of mental health issues as somehow less than real? Perhaps it is time for us to rethink how we are addressing mental health, if we are to move the campaign for understanding and acceptance forward. Giving a face to the campaign can be helpful, since it is no different from heart disease or osteoporosis in this aspect. Depression is one diagnosis that is often presented during conversations. A statistic that I read a few years ago noted that in adults over the age of 50, about 90% had some personal experience with depression. If this is the case, there are more people who know about this diagnosis first hand, so shouldn't the stigma be lessened just because of this? That one still has me working away to reconcile those figures. In any case, it may be time to speak about specific diagnoses rather than the nebulous term mental health, particularly if we want to add legitimacy to these medical issues.
An interesting song line ran through my mind for this one. It surprised me a bit, but showed that it seems to be a communication difficulty in my mind -- a conversation that speaks about a legitimate issue yet uses language that may not fully validate the problem at hand. The lyrics present different ways of seeing something and the need for clear communication to move forward.
After a very stormy day and night, today ended on a clear sky and sunny note. Some rural areas are without power and may be until Thursday. Sections of town experienced outages overnight and campus and surrounding area had a two hour outage this morning between 10 AM and noon. Luckily that was between my classes, but many were cancelled if not held in a room with windows -- larger lecture halls do not have windows, so there was no source of natural light. The work day ended 11-1/2 hours after mine began with a meeting to learn about the new collective agreement draft. Members vote to ratify over the next two days.
Water and wind can create such damage. Huge boulders sit in the middle of the causeway from the mainland to Cape Breton -- these were placed there by huge waves of a storm surge and used to sit on the ocean floor. It seems very surreal that 30 foot waves will carry something the size of a compact car and just drop it in the middle of a road. Waterfront areas experience great changes in amount of shoreline. Rivers and creeks carve new routes through the land. Man-made structures suffer greatly -- bridges and roads washout, structural integrity of buildings becomes compromised, and crops and landscaping are damaged. Cleanup, repair and rebuilding occur, showing the resiliency of people living in the path of such storms.
The selection today has lyrics that speak to the power of the ocean. It is bluegrass and a bit country. Enjoy!
Well -- today is Thanksgiving day. It was spent doing me things with friends. A long phone chat filled the afternoon -- a time for catching up on recent news and happenings. As a kid, we always celebrated Thanksgiving on the Sunday of the long weekend rather than Monday. I still do. Today, though, I went to visit friends and share in the leftovers from the feast. There is nothing like fresh baked rolls with turkey -- little bunwiches. That was always a favourite part of the traditional turkey dinner -- preparing a small turkey sandwich at bedtime or as a snack the next day. The actual dinner is wonderful, but those leftovers turned into soup or 'a la king' are very special.
As I was leaving tonight, I was asked what I was thankful for and I couldn't spit out an easy answer. There are so many things that fall into this grouping. The weather has been wild today, but not nearly as bad as that faced by many others south and east of here. That is a good thing. What really came to mind that I just couldn't articulate earlier this evening was all the people I'm thankful for being a part of my life -- family, friends, teachers, mentors, service workers, health care professionals, furry companions -- current, past and passed -- all have played a role in my life. Without just one of them, things could have been very different. Some played a larger role, whether short or long in duration, Even a passing interaction could have put me on a different path. Knowing people who care everywhere I've lived has been a major gift. Having family members -- blood and of the heart -- provides a foundation and some continuity throughout life. So -- while some people we encounter may seem to be problematic, maybe they, too, have provided direction in this life. Interesting concept to ponder. I guess then the short answer to the question posed tonight, is 'all the people in my life.'
The selection for today came to mind while trying to work through the response to the question. The arrangement chosen emphasizes the multiple supports provided to a person. It is a beautiful song and this version is spectacular. Enjoy!
Interesting day -- physically feeling a bit better but I found tears were at the ready for any reason today -- a show, commercial or whatever else presented itself. Not sure that there is anything in particular behind it all -- just one of those days. It is Thanksgiving and there are a number of things to be grateful for. Some things aren't perfect, but many parts of life are good. That is not unusual, I expect, since perfection just isn't a sensible goal -- it would become very boring <smile>.
Had a good dinner out with friends to christen the kitchen in a new home for one of them. There were many wonderful foods and trying a bit of everything left me rather full. It is fun to get together over a meal to talk and laugh and catch up. By the end of the evening it was beginning to rain a bit. We are expecting an inch or more depending on how the weather system wobbles its way past the province. So, tomorrow will be a wet day -- great to spend time doing something fun -- a movie, or book or hobby work. Lots of fun things to choose from that will keep me pleasantly occupied.
When thinking of what can make a person cry, a song came to mind. Lyrics of this one list a number of causes but don't note the potential "nothing" reason <smile>. I love the rhythm of this one. enjoy!
It has been a long haul over the past 2-1/2 weeks. Today things seem to be moving in a positive direction. That helps reduce the horrific anxiety, for sure. There was more sun and very warm temps today -- like a summer day out there. Some rain expected by Monday, and maybe a bit tomorrow afternoon, but it is still warmer than usual for this time of year. All in all Thanksgiving weekend seems to be shaping up well.
While deconstructing the anxiety of the past week, it became clear that much of the feelings came from a place of caring. Worrying about self and others can create negative scenarios that run through a mind whether they make sense or not. The other side of that coin - understanding from others - serves to alleviate some of the anxiety. I spoke with a colleague last night who seems so relaxed and always has a smile. I feel calmer just being around the person <smile>. When listening to Chef Edward Lee on a program this afternoon, he spoke about inhabiting the liminal space between control and chaos and his admiration for the people who seem to live and thrive in that space. I'd not heard someone phrase the concept in this way before and this really explained what I've often thought of with my colleague and others who seem to manage the stresses in a way I can only aspire to achieve. Not only do they manage the stresses, but they seem able to use them as energy sources to grow in such settings. I am truly envious of this approach to life.
A line or two from a song stuck in my head today. These seem to fit my philosophical meanderings. It is an upbeat song that speaks to the ability of positive emotion to drive us in many directions -- both good and less than good. Enjoy!
Most of the past two weeks has been filled with new personal challenges each day. One or two of these over a few weeks would be manageable, but 7 or 8 seems a bit excessive. Being in the middle of the fall term, there is little time or energy to devote to things other than work. The past two weeks have required me to focus on the personal much more than work -- it can happen, but can affect the calendar of events that have to happen at specific times for both home and work.
The feelings of anxiety that would be manageable with one external insult at a time, have gone over the top. Coping mechanisms tend not to work when things get to the overwhelmed stage. Breathing can help -- deep breaths that inhale AND exhale fully. Amazingly, this can be difficult to remember to do. Going for a walk can help. I find that I breathe better when walking. I've been for two walks in the past 3 days. Today it was a longer walk than usual and with my iPod. The need to talk to people who are no longer reachable by phone has been particularly acute these days. Walking helped me to phrase what I needed to say. Not having someone to answer the questions or say something that might calm me or make me laugh made the one-sided conversation somewhat less satisfying, Yet, thinking through the situations did help a bit. There are few days when I don't think of something I'd like to tell someone who has passed or feel that I just need to hear their voice. Times of heightened anxiety from real and perceived threats increases the need to speak with them.
A song that came to mind today says all of this much more eloquently. The melody is hauntingly beautiful and the singer has an amazing voice. The lyrics also note that grief can last for a long time. That the singer and the composer were once married is an interesting sidebar. Enjoy!
Wishing you were somehow here again -- Sarah Brightman
After another busy day of errands and office work, we have the beginning of a long weekend. The fall study day is tomorrow and then the 3-day weekend for Thanksgiving follows. Tomorrow will involve some catch up grading and class prep for the coming weeks. We are at the midterm point, so planning to ensure everything gets completed becomes a central focus. Plans for the winter term need to be firmed up in the coming few weeks, too.
A long weekend often brings the hope of a day free of office-related work. I often have good intentions, but find that things take longer than expected to grade or prepare. Allowing myself to take a day to do nothing seems difficult when there clearly are piles and files that require attention <smile>. I do manage to get the better part of a day at the very least to do me things on long weekends, so I hope this one will pan out, as well. I would like to find some time to sleep well, feel better and find some moments of peace in the midst of the turmoil. Taking time for oneself could help with productivity by allowing one to refresh and see things in a different light. It should help with mental health by helping to re-centre our thoughts and emotions. Then why does it seem so difficult to just take that day?
Some lyrics from the selection today highlight the need to take time for a break. It is a song from earlier in the career of this singer. Enjoy!
Well -- there seems to be continued events piling on the anxieties and fears. As if there isn't enough in the immediate surround, the weather gurus feel the need to be excited about the potential for a big storm to hit Canada -- specifically Atlantic Canada -- over the Thanksgiving weekend. We are several days out, so the track that Matthew chooses to take is still unknown. Given other weather systems in play in North America, the track could go several ways and it seems less likely it will be eastern Canada right now. They are, though, only computer models -- models that become more accurate as the information unfolds.
Why is there a need to sensationalize this piece of news? Is there a reason to fuel fear and panic? Giving people the basic information to prepare for a potential problem makes sense. Hyping it up appears as a self-serving, ratings grab. My day at the office began by checking in with a friend from a Caribbean island badly affected by the storm to see if she had heard from her family. Even she felt the tone of the news and weather media was unnecessarily frightening. Sadly, this leads to the major discourse being about bad news stories being shared as a personal accomplishment, rather than having the appropriate sense of decorum. Like I've said several times today, people can be weird.
The song that came to mind today is one with metaphorical lyrics. I love the music and rhythm. They fit the complex lyric ideas well. Enjoy!
What a day! Seems there has been a pile up of days with too much to manage. Today I had two lectures and a committee meeting -- both brought further work, but that was expected. Between these tasks, I had to run to the lab with a requisition. I pulled number 21 just as the tech called number 8 and the receptionist called number 11. Needless to say, it was a bit of wait in a very full waiting room. That, too, seems to be a trend in the past several days. Anyway, I had been fasting and it was 10:30 AM when I left the hospital, so I headed home to grab a very late breakfast. Got back with about 15 minutes to spare before the next class. Once finished the meeting that began 15 minutes after class ended, I raced home to bundle the furry one off to the vet for a quick fix up visit -- another trend there with health visits to various practitioners in the past week. When I got home at 4:30, I thought it would be much later as I was starving. That is when I realized I'd only gotten to eat part of my lunch today.
It seems too early in the term to have hit this craziness wall, yet we are in week 5, meaning we are between 1/3 and 1/2 the way through the fall term. I still feel like things are just starting. No wonder I've been busy grading recently. Reading through past posts from this time of year points to these rushing around feelings being common at this point in the term. If it were just the work or just the personal stuff, it might feel somewhat better, but when every part of life seems to be overloaded, it leaves me feeling a bit overwhelmed and cranky. Days like this leave me disliking work and such. Why can't I see the positives? It was a fantastic sunny day -- not overly warm, but a great fall day. Trees have begun to turn colour in fits and starts as I drove along the streets. I am surrounded by colleagues who are supportive and have great senses of humour to keep me smiling and ready to listen when things go awry. Those things should outweigh or at least balance the crazy pace and activities of the day.
A few lyric lines from a song ran through my mind as I was pondering my crankiness today. The message the lyrics hold is a positive one, though I'd likely note that today should be important, too so not always focusing only on the future. love the rhythms and distinctive voices of this grouping. Enjoy!
I've been thinking a lot of my parents today. It is their wedding anniversary today. They were married in 1953 and were together for 52 years. Recently a friend noted a similar remembrance for her parents. Guess that got me thinking of mine. They met in high school and married a few years after graduating.
All those special event dates come by every year, yet some may seem more poignant. This is the first anniversary without my mom. Not that we celebrated it, but I always thought of her on this day for the decade when she was on her own. This year, it is me that is on my own. Perhaps this day has been special for me for as long as I can recall because it celebrates the day they were married and the nascence of our family.
The song for today is one that I recall hearing as a child. It seems to fit the day for me and is sung by one of dad's favourite singers. Enjoy!
Today was fairly productive. I finished a couple of household chores that began yesterday and completed the grading for one assignment also begun yesterday. I was feeling fairly perky after lunch and I made a big pot of beef stew with dumplings for supper tonight and several other nights once it gets packaged and into the freezer -- tomorrow's job. Still feeling a bit off and had a slight fever today to add to the weariness of having microbes fighting it out with macrophages inside me -- feels like world war III -- a cytokine thing <sigh>. Things should continue to improve, but the meeting with the MD tomorrow will help me determine if things are going as expected.
Interestingly, having stew for supper brought a lot of comfort. It was my dad's recipe -- he dictated and I wrote it down -- he didn't use a recipe from a book. The dumplings are my mom's recipe -- copied from her recipe card from her recipe box. It tasted good today, but will be much better after it sits overnight and the flavours blend. There are many comfort foods that I cook, often on a Sunday, that come from my family. -- dad's meatloaf and scalloped tomatoes: Mom's date squares (matrimonial cake for my fellow Canadians), biscuits, noodle casserole and lazy cabbage roll casserole; and Grandma's oatmeal raisin cookies and white dinner rolls. There are many foods that I don't make that often, but they also bring memories of family meals. Isn't it interesting how a simple food item can carry so much of us within it. Such foods tell the stories of our lives. They should be shared with others to keep those stories circulating. I've often thought we needed a family recipe book with the memories that went along with each recipe. Even if we wrote down our own personal recipes and stories, that would be a gift for other family members.
The selection for today deals with a family dinner and a food involved. Enjoy!
Woke up earlier than expected with loud music from the house down the street. This was soon followed by other houses and parties. Seems Homecoming is a time for current students to party. By afternoon most head to the football game, so things can seem calmer. When I went into the back yard a bit ago, I could hear the parties happening all around me -- none too loud, but there are oodles of people out there. The weather is warmer than it has been so a lot of big outside groups can be heard.
Perhaps I'm grumpy since I need to sleep to get rid of the infection that settled in yesterday. Meds make me very tired, too. I may also be a bit out of sorts since this weekend has tons of grading -- three separate short assignments from two classes -- 90 students in all. I'm never ready to do this task, but it just seems too early in the term. I do know that it is well underway, but it still feels too early. Concentrating was tricky with the tiredness. I did fall asleep a couple of times when trying to do other tasks -- at least I was sitting for those <grin>.
I heard a few lines from a song I enjoy as I was trying to do the less than exciting tasks today. It came from my visit to the MD yesterday, I suspect. <smile> enjoy!
Words for today -- long, tired, traffic. Work consisted of two classes and even more meetings. Am I starting to sound boring and stuck in rut yet? <smile> There were a couple of different activities involved in the day. The last minute visit to the physician's office meant an extended wait at the end of their day, but it seems to have helped with the malady that arrived this morning. Grocery shopping was next on the list. A group of coupons for extra points arrived this week and interestingly seemed to be for things that I had planned to buy. Not all coupons scanned correctly, so a supervisor had to be called to 'make it right' with their key scan. It is a great policy, but with a long line of people behind me in the 1-15 item line, I felt the need to apologize to the other shoppers for the hold up. A minor frustration occurred at the gas pump -- one of which seems to constantly shut off while I am holding the nozzle to fill the tank. I was running on fumes, so should have needed about 50 litres yet the thing wouldn't let me go past 35. After several attempts to continue, I decided maybe I was wrong and went in to pay. When I drove off, the gauge registered about 3/4 of a tank. Again, so frustrating since extra points were available for a purchase of the size it should have been. I was too tired and feeling yucky by then, that I just drove home <smile>.
Driving -- that has been a challenge for some time now in town due to construction on one of the bridges that crosses the brook running through the centre of town. This leaves two other options, but the one being fixed is by the high school and a major residential area. Very long lines occur as people go the long way around to get to work, school or home. This began in the summer and is slated to end in October. We have been assured by the mayor that it only takes two minutes to get from Main Street into the subdivision. Many of us have sat in the lineup for much longer than that. Getting out of my street into the one that leads to campus has been tricky some days, as has heading home at night. This week I sat for over 10 minutes waiting for an opening to get into the flow. I lost count at about 30 cars and there were many many more before there was a break. Interestingly, few drivers will stop to let someone into traffic. I notice this more when at the yield sign heading home at night. Where I lived on the prairies had a bylaw that drivers had to alternate at such confluence points around the bridges. I have also noted this in other cities, but it seems rare here. This can mean lines of cars many blocks long waiting to enter the next big long line. The latter line does seem to move reasonably well once one is able to get into it. This week the traffic seemed so much heavier than usual. There are more cars in town than in August as the students are now present, but this seemed greater than that increase. Last night while getting groceries I met a colleague at the grocery store who was working all weekend because it is Homecoming on campus. I'd lost that nugget of information as it isn't a major event for me. That explained all the extra traffic this week as many alumni returned to town for these festivities.
The frustrations expressed by many people recently seem to be well represented by a song lyric. The singer/songwriter performs with much soul and heart. With this song and lyric he expresses the frustration of traffic difficulties and includes some of his personal values about sustainability along the way. Enjoy!
NOTE: the song of the day is the first in this dual audio file.
