Perhaps it was the grey overcast day. It was difficult to get down to major work today. I did the 'small' stuff like e-mail and processing admin details for fall courses. I had hoped to get well into working up course syllabuses (syllabi?) for the three fall courses. Early edits to one syllabus went fairly well. I had several conversations about two other courses that require major reworking for the fall offering. The latter need further conceptualization prior to getting things written clearly for student use. I was hungry and tired by late afternoon, so headed home to eat, rest and ponder the syllabus situation further.
In lectures, I've often noted to students that thinking through a paper to choose the main points that support an argument is still writing -- even if no actual words hit paper or word processing software pages. I do note that this isn't a way to rationalize procrastination, but a way to develop a paper more fully. I believe I was doing the latter today -- working through the concepts to present and thinking through the best order to use to present them. It is difficult to feel productive when there isn't something concrete to hold onto or point to. I also have several other writing for publication projects underway and these aren't seeing much hit paper -- I do use pen and paper to make the detailed outline and then the sentences are written with the keyboard. So -- much is flying around my brain and it will soon make its way into a shareable format. Then why do I always feel like I've done nothing? <smile>.
Again, as others have told me in the past, I do need to reduce the self-flagellation. One good thing is that once I begin feeling stressed about the writing project and find myself wandering from office to office to say "hi", the actual sentence writing begins shortly after. I've thought of this as the brain's way to say that it is all ready to spew forth through my fingers <grin>. So -- one song seemed to fit for today, to remind me to be less frustrated with my work process. Relax and let things happen as they always do. Enjoy!
Clouds turned to rain today, which made being inside manageable. I went for groceries in the afternoon and spent much of the rest of the day reading, goofing off and cooking a nice supper, which I ate while watching a movie. The movie, The Imitation Game, made me think of many things, but mainly of intolerance. It was very well constructed and acted -- well worth the viewing time and learning about history is never a waste.
This movie was about a math genius who developed the first 'computer' that was used to break the German code in WWII. Despite this and his other professional accomplishments, he was not accepted by society of the time due to sexual orientation. Reflecting on this situation, several others came to mind. During wartime, many people have helped the war effort, yet were not accepted after their services were no longer required. Other movies have addressed this theme -- Tuskegee Airmen and Wind Talkers come readily to mind. In all three movies men made valued contributions to their countries yet were considered second class citizens before and after their service. Intolerance has been part of humankind since the beginning. Society has come a long way in the past 70 years. There still is much to work through, though.
Lyrics of the song today note that it takes all kinds to make the world work. Enjoy!
Reading the news this morning, I found the comments of David Crosby wishing well to his long time friend and colleague Joni Mitchell. About three weeks ago, it was confirmed that she'd had a brain aneurysm at the end of April. Based on reported comments from Crosby, she is struggling with speech, but is communicating with those caring for her. She was in hospital, rehab and now is home. No matter the prognosis, positive thoughts for her are needed.
Why did this strike me so much today? As I read the release from Rolling Stone, I couldn't help but imagine what this health issue would mean to an artist -- painter, poet, songwriter and singer. That -- and I felt a certain affinity for her as we are from the same part of the world -- Saskatchewan -- and both have spent sections of our lives in Saskatoon -- careers starting there for each of us.
She is one of the foremost songwriters of our time, so choosing a single song for the blog today was not easy. Her songs have featured in past entries, too. One song jumped out at me today for the chorus lyrics. It also links David Crosby with Joni Mitchell. This unplugged version sung by the songwriter has more haunting minor chord overtones than the more familiar version by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. Enjoy!
Today I was again reminded of the physical effects of the healing process -- hunger and fatigue. While these are normalizing a bit, they are still quite prominent during the days. I am always hungry and need to eat more often than usual. Metabolic rates do increase while bones are setting and extra energy is needed to deal with pain and the physical demands of physio. I am walking more than I had been to try to help rebuild stamina. That, too, requires extra energy intake. These same activities add to the fatigue level. I still seem to feel very tired by 4 PM and then fall asleep in the early evening for 30 minutes to 3 hours -- yet still could sleep 8+ hours most nights.
A challenge occurs when hunger and fatigue arrive together. Choosing nutrient dense foods can be more challenging when all my tired self demands is carbohydrates <smile>. With quick to prepare healthy options readily available this desire for calorically dense foods can be squelched. That doesn't mean that I don't eat such items, but I do try to get the nutrients as well as the calories needed for bone building processes. As time moves forward, I'm learning techniques to manage both tiredness and appetite, with acceptance at the forefront.
The selection for today is likely to bring a smile. It is a parody that deals with one of the two challenges discussed here today. Enjoy!
Girls Just Want to have Lunch -- Weird Al Yankovic
Listening to music this past weekend, I realized how often falsetto has been used in popular music. It seems males used it more often, and some contend that it wasn't fully recognized that males and females could produce this vocal effect until later in the 20th century. This might be due to the quality of the vocalization -- the timbre -- in males being different than that produced by females. Regardless of who and the amazing physiology behind how this is produced, it can be quite stunning when used in part or in full in a song.
The physical process necessary to produce the higher range -- by about an octave above 'regular' singing range -- takes some practice. This process allows a person to sing beyond their range -- to push past the constraints of the vocal chords in a way. Similarly, we can all push beyond the constraints of daily life -- it might need a bit of practice, but with the will power, it can be done.
Frankie Valli used this technique to produce a unique sound that fully set his music apart from the rest at that time. Yet, many others used falsetto intermittently to add something different to a single performance or song. I chose two selections that contain falsetto components. Both songs from the '60s would be very different without this form of vocalization. The first is almost a 'classic' with a wonderful country-style singer who had a masterful vibrato, as well. The second selection from a group was one of the early rock songs that used a language other than English and has near operatic portions from that big voice. Enjoy!
The sun came out by the end of the afternoon and the day went fairly smoothly -- lots completed and lots more left to work with tomorrow <grin>. Discovered a couple of "new" things my arm was doing today and as a colleague noted, I need to try to look at the glass half full more often <smile>.
I find myself holding my breath more often than I should. Sometimes this may be part of feeling stressed, but it is also due to pain -- or more correctly fear of pain, pain that doesn't always materialize. So the pain level is changing as is the type and location of pains. Learning to breathe through the discomfort while stretching or working the arm has been a challenge. It takes so much concentration to breathe, keep the body posture correct, and work the muscles involved -- all while trying to hold the position through the pain. The other trick is to breathe normally rather than hyperventilate. Concentrating on things we generally do without thinking can be demanding -- who'd have thought? If nothing else, this break and recovery has been a humbling experience and one that is teaching me what it feels like to be wrapped up inside oneself. That empathy alone will serve this health professional well.
The selection for today came fairly easily. Breathing isn't something we find in lyrics often. The singer's voice is angelic and the rhythms provide a focus for relaxed breathing. Enjoy!
It has been a day with mid-range highs and several very deep lows, the latter involving interactions with others. It took a while to pull myself into a space of resignation and semi-acceptance. I was very tired having not slept well for two nights, so perhaps didn't react as well as I might when feeling well rested <smile>. It is interesting how fatigue can colour thoughts and perceptions. Even when there is something negative coming at you, it seems much more so when seen through the eyes of exhaustion.
I was reminded of a song on the weekend that came back to me today. The lyrics present the anguish of someone facing less than perfect situations, though I find it a relaxing song - melody and lyrics. This version includes two wonderful voices along with guitar perfection. Enjoy!
It was a misty, rainy day today. This appears to be the remnants of the second named Atlantic storm of the season -- Bill. It seems early for this to be happening, but the storm was rather strong and large and has left much behind as it has moved across the continent. Even with that, the day felt positive. Physio went well and I got some things completed at the office.
A farewell and thank you reception was held at the end of the day for five administrative people who are moving on -- to other work sites or to other positions on campus. It is difficult to see people move, but they are pursuing fantastic opportunities. Others will return to academic roles, so while they will still be around, they will sit in different chairs <smile>. It was a pleasant gathering, though mixed feelings were present. It will be a major change for the institution with many new faces on the admin team.
The afternoon's celebration seemed intriguing since it occurred the day after the season changed -- similar to the forward movement of the school. It brought to mind many songs, but one seemed to fit the changing face of the university. I love the title of the song and the lyrics note that a change in one of a collective can change other people in the group. Change can be frightening, but it can also be exhilarating. Enjoy!
I've been thinking of my Dad today. It has been almost 10 years since he passed and it still seems very recent. My Dad was an amazing man. He began his work career a a fireman with CP Rail -- the position that shovelled coal for steam locomotives. When diesels arrived on the scene, he was placed on spare board with many others. He did many volunteer jobs to keep busy and from these found part time work, one of which became a full time job with the government. He worked as assistant storekeeper in Dept of Education, followed by storekeeper with Dept Agriculture and then chief storekeeper with the Dept of Highways. That road wasn't as smooth as the typed word suggests -- when the agriculture branch he worked for disappeared one day, he was able to move into a stock clerk position until a the Highways position opened. He was always working no matter the position level -- he was a hard worker and provider for his family.
My Dad could be called a 'handy man' but I think this term doesn't quite cover his creativity. He designed and built the house I grew up in. The house was build to the point we could move in -- sub-floors, tar papered picture window spaces, stairs into the back door but not the front door and no sidewalks. These were completed as money was available. Again, Dad did all the design and work. I recall getting to ride in the wheel barrow. He demonstrated infinite patience with a pre-schooler who wanted to understand every step of every process. It wasn't until I was an adult that he told me that there were times when he'd turn on the table saw -- which I hated -- so he could have a few moments to himself before I returned <smile>. He built camping trailers for many of our childhood summer travels. Two were canvas tops on trailers and the last was an original design of a hard-sided trailer where the top fit down over the bottom for more streamlined travel. The patent for the latter was sold by a 'friend' with no mention of my Dad's input. He made fibreglass canoes and kayaks -- he and my brother paddled around Kingmere Lake to hike into Grey Owl's cabin in Prince Albert National Park -- in matching magenta kayaks. When working on my Masters degree, I needed a device to provide different elevation angles to a piece of equipment. Dad designed and built that for me <smile>.
My Dad had a delightful sense of humour. One Christmas I had asked for a gold chain to wear. All boxes under the tree were way too big and weighed more than this gift. I was surprised when I opened a large heavy box to find 24" of logging chain spray painted gold -- I still use this as a paper weight <smile> -- and under all the packing was a small velvet box with the actual jewelry. He had a smile at the ready and loved to pay monthly bills in person to chat with the clerks. Walking anywhere in town he'd find several someones that he knew by name and greeted. He lived in the same city his whole life, much of that time spent within a 2x6 block space. He loved to travel, though and had been across Canada, the US, Hawaii and the south Pacific islands. I hope that I have some of his sense of humour, ability to greet people on the street and my love of travel. I've been places that I know he would have loved.
Finding a song today was challenging -- there are so many songs about fathers. I settled on one that speaks to Dad's creative abilities and is a tribute to his workshops. Enjoy!
It seems to have been a lazy day -- did a few chores around the house but other than that didn't get much concrete done. I did think about the writing projects I have in play. Something is due next week for a meeting and three others will have July deadlines. I tend to write in my head -- get things organized and then when it goes onto paper it is in a next to last draft format. It is a stressful way to write, but it is the only way I can do things. Others use a stream of consciousness approach and just write, editing heavily afterwards. I believe these writing styles are tied to personality types so can't really be learned or unlearned. That is a thesis that needs to be tested, though. <smile>.
Two of the writing projects deal with the research I've been doing to explore the history of the dietetic profession as we know it today -- a stand alone profession with degrees granted in foods and human nutrition. I find this fascinating. Why do I do it? It seems that to understand the present and the possible futures, we have to understand the past. How we got where we are affects how we move forward. Without an appreciation of the historical aspects of any part of life, we cannot adequately plan for the future. I include many historical aspects of the profession and nutritional knowledge in the classroom, yet this may not be fully appreciated by everyone. I honestly believe this is not superfluous trivia, but is at the heart of the topic being discussed. How can we begin to understand how things happen in practice, if we don't understand the evolution of those practices? Hmmm. <smile>
A line from a song stuck in my head as I was thinking through some of the writing topics -- "But to understand the future was have to go back in time." I love the recording this comes from, even with its references to a movie -- Men In Black 3. Enjoy!
I drove to the physio today and then stopped at the grocery store on the way home. I'd planned to walk to the appointment, but it was pouring rain in the afternoon. Driving is not easy and I wouldn't do it daily yet -- right hand turns create pain but one does eventually have to turn right, right? <smile>. I recognize the knee replacement people who have been at physio at the same time as me. I noted that two of them were walking better today than they were on Monday. When asked, I said things were moving slowly but moving. I felt that not too much had changed in the five days. When we measured today there has been major improvement in the past week and a half. I do notice improvements every few days when something new happens like drinking tea from a cup while holding it by the mug handle. Others have noted that they see improvements in range of motion and use of the left arm when they see me every 3 days or so. So why am I fixated on what I can't do instead of what improvements are made?
Is it human nature to focus on deficiencies instead of assets? Is this why we do 'needs' assessments more often than asset mapping, or spend time on gap analyses? It seems we are often looking for something that needs fixing instead of looking at what is working. The capacities that exist provide a great foundation on which to enhance functionality. Yet, when I look at my arm I often see what it isn't doing yet instead of what it is doing -- sadly, wanting instant results. The work involved is constant and when I miss a time or two during the day I feel guilty. In 2-1/2 weeks range of motion has come a long way, just as individuals and groups can experience improvements with just a little support -- they don't need fixing <smile>. So, the new goal is to understand the outcomes expected while highlighting the progress -- to try to focus on the progress and not what is left to do.
A silly song came to mind while thinking through this today -- silly, but it says it all and with a wonderfully unexpected duo to sing it. Enjoy!
Accentuate the Positive -- Bing Crosby & Bette Midler
Another day filled with ups and downs. It began with a fright as the taxi driver pulled out in front of an ambulance so he could get across the intersection NOW. I calmly asked if he didn't stop for emergency vehicles to which he barked "What?". I responded that the ambulance was right there -- it had been less than two car-lengths away as he edged into the intersection. He then yelled at me to say that there were cars waiting behind him so he didn't have a choice. Imagine. I said nothing else and seriously contemplated not paying him. I should have asked him to pull over and let me out. I could have walked the block back to the dispatcher for another taxi and to determine the drivers name so I can ensure that he isn't sent when I call next time. I was near tears and shaking even when I got out of the car -- didn't look at him and just left and slammed the door. It was not the way anyone's day should start.
I managed to calm down and the rest of the day went fairly well. We had a very successful meeting and I managed to get through a number of e-mails and one needed report was sent off. A mix-up later in the day meant a planned meeting didn't happen, so plans were altered. I was tired by the time I got home and realized the tensions of the day were deep in the muscles. It took a bit of time to relax and then be able to eat a nice supper. Even if I tell people about stresses, I can still carry that tension around. This only serves to make me tired and to shorten my temper, reducing my ability to be at all flexible and go with the flow. I always try to see things through the viewpoints of others and yet I still can feel annoyed and irritated by occurrences. Is that just me making it all about me or are they valid feelings? Just my confused musings at the end of an odd day. <smile>
So -- a song for the events and thoughts of this day -- hmmm. It really seems that life isn't just about one person but about a collective experience. Thus, all perspectives are valid and one shouldn't feel guilty for having feelings.There was one lyric that ran through my head with these reflections today. I love the strong female singer and this video is so fun with the colour the of the band's outfits -- apricot <smile>. Enjoy!
The day went fairly well -- got through several things that needed to be done at work but the car was still acting odd this evening. I've had it in three times and we still have issues after I picked it up tonight. Driving isn't easy, so I don't plan to do it every day, but I'd like the vehicle to cooperate when I do need to drive somewhere. I'll call again tomorrow so they know it was acting up as I drove down the street today. There are a couple other calls that I need to make to 'fix' some other things that aren't working -- needing to rebook two appointments and find out why papers aren't being delivered to the house <sigh>. Frustrating little things, but when there are a heap of little things it can make a hill of sorts <smile>.
A great song that made me think of remaining calm in the face of all the goofiness and frustration came to mind today. It works for little things as well as the bigger things in life. The lyrics say a lot and the melody is smooth and calming. I particularly like the line "I can't fight you anymore." It was part of the soundtrack of a good movie -- Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom. Enjoy!
Weather wise, we've had a bit of everything today. Windy with mixed sun and clouds this morning with clouds thickening up during the afternoon. Tonight we have light rain that should abate before noon tomorrow. I spent the day reading for a meeting with a research student this week -- a cozy task for a cloudy day. I got partly caught up on some overdue correspondence and completed some hand laundry (another first since the break). Overall, it was a relaxed day though a few stressers managed to creep in momentarily. Stress is part of daily life and without it we really wouldn't survive, so one must learn to deal with it and move past it -- easier to type than do some days. <smile>
Many things seem to be piling up at work since I haven't been working at full throttle for four weeks now. Summer is usually a bit slower, but still is very full with preparations for fall classes, admin tasks and all the research writing that doesn't get adequate attention during teaching terms. It is like trying to pack 12 months of work and living into 4 months, as some vacation time should be taken now, since that is impossible during academic terms, too. Working through stresses of all types assists with development of coping strategies -- if we are lucky they will be appropriate strategies <smile>. This evening my strategy is to listen to the rain on the roof along with a song or two and think peaceful thoughts.
The selection for today uses rain as a metaphor for life's challenges. The bluesy nature of the music is relaxing, the voice and guitar of the artist soothing. Enjoy!
A bright sunny Monday -- not too hot, just pleasant enough to enjoy a walk. I walked home from Physio and did a couple errands before the late day meeting. Walking with a light breeze and a big blue sky was very relaxing and enjoyable. It did help me to refocus outside myself for a change. There are still several trees and shrubs in bloom and a new crop of perennials just appearing. All yards and parks along the way were so lovely.
Moving closer to summer brings warmer sun, but this week the daytime highs and overnight lows are cooler than normal. I find this positive as there is less humidity and the house cools overnight so I sleep a bit better. I do like summer, but not the excessive heat -- a max of 24-25C with overnight temps in the mid-teens would be my ideal. Humidity also is uncomfortable to me. While there are days with mid-range humidity on the prairies in the summer, the oppressive high humidity of a maritime region often leads to a lot of cranky people since sleeping is disrupted for several days at a time. Yet, so many others demand that summer arrive with the heat of late July and August NOW <smile>. It is difficult to deal with these same folks when their moods are altered in such weather -- and not say 'I told you'. <grin>.
The song for today is a wonderful instrumental that individually highlights acoustic guitar, keyboards and electric guitars. It is a selection from a band known for other acoustic recordings. The melody does fit the kind of day it was here today. Enjoy!
Dreams are amazing things -- daydreams and dreams while sleeping -- all play such a key role in keeping us centred. Many dreams deal with hopes and wishes for the future, while others visit past memories. Granted some may be frightening, but even these can help us work through the trials and anxieties of our days. Brains package our thoughts in such ways that they help us to make sense of our experiences and thoughts. It seems that dreams may play a part in recovery at the end of the day. There are many theories about why we dream, but no clear answers at present. I will say that without dreams, I'm not sure I'd feel rested after sleeping or find a moment to become calmer during waking hours.
This blog began with a song about dreams. Today I want to share another -- a standard from decades back with a simple lyric. The singer was a super star of his day. Enjoy!
Today began with pouring rain. I love the sound of rain on the roof while I sleep. It is peaceful -- unless it comes with hurricane winds, which were not present today. I did my usual Saturday laundry and chores mixed with some research reading. I walked over the library to return a book once the rain had stopped. It was a pleasant walk. The rest of the day felt a bit gloomy to me -- I still have major pain from physio yesterday -- felt a bit 'man-handled' a couple times. This made my hourly stretching routine today very difficult to do and messed with my psyche.
I fully understand pain is part of the process and there will be worse days along the journey. This is one of them. It is tricky to not spiral down into the 'poor me' anger and sadness. Tears do help to release some of the negative stress and can begin to point one in a more positive direction. Reminding myself that I'm not alone and have many people supporting me along this path definitely helps pull my head back up to look forward -- instead of at my feet stuck in one place. One person called this afternoon to check if I needed anything from the grocery store and another wrote a note of understanding of the fatigue and pain. Each -- and many others on other days -- arrive just as I need a reminder to focus or to be kinder to myself and to those working to help me heal. None of us is alone on any journey -- thankfully. <smile>
The song for today reminded me of not being alone. It is from the movie Dolphin Tale 2, which highlights the amazing marine biology programs of Clearwater Marine Aquarium -- both movies filled with many familiar faces and New Orleanian Harry Connick, Jr (need I say more <smile>). If you enjoy marine biology and marine ecological projects, I recommend these two movies. The lyrics of this song speak to supportive relationships -- that magic of social support. Enjoy!
It was a full day for the end of the week with another medical and a physio appointment. I took a taxi to the first appointment and after lunch did a couple errands on Main Street and walked to the physio. It is uphill to walk there -- home is always easier <smile>. I was very tired when I got home this afternoon and had to rest before heading out for milk. Eating supper helped me feel refreshed. Sadly, this is when the house became hot and humid and so uncomfortable -- and when the neighbours began playing excessively loud music. Not an easy way to try to decompress.
While I was very tired from doing physical activities that would have been easy a month ago, I was still glad that I did them -- even if I had to pause partway up the hill, which gave me time to look at the great clouds and contrails in the sky. I don't want to push too hard, but do need to push in order to get my strength back to a more functional place. Needing to work full time to get things ready for conference in July and classes in September will need all the strength I can muster. Physio at the end of the day will allow me to head home right after and rest to deal with any leftover pain (which hasn't been excessive this week <smile>). So -- at the end of the day -- and the week -- I feel positive with what we have been able to accomplish. Even if it wasn't at the level of usual abilities, it still is moving in the right direction. Hopefully as I continue, there should be less fatigue so that my brain can be a bit clearer through the whole day.
The song for today deals with some of the positive feelings I've had with physical activity efforts. The singer does an amazing job. I love the video for this one, too -- many places I've visited are included. Enjoy!
Had an interesting day at the office. A group participated in a program review. Several great themes emerged. The need to move forward as we can't go back in the past surfaced several times, noting that we were no longer the same people we were yesterday. I enjoyed the philosophical bent and the metaphorical nature of the conversations in the lateral thinking exercises. All of this did help us to view the current opportunities and challenges as the program moves forward.
I had many song lyrics running through my head today. When summing up things at the workshop end, I realized that much courage would be required to move through the current obstacles in the environment. Luckily, there seemed to be the overall feeling that where we need to go is achievable. So, this need for courage helped me settle on the song for today. The chosen selection notes several of the concepts that surfaced in our discussions. And as a denim girl, I love the video <smile>. Enjoy!
Like the orthopedist told me -- "physio is your full time job." I've been working away at it trying to meet the 10 minutes each hour guideline. I see the physio twice weekly now and will move to three times weekly when we hit a plateau. Both Ortho and Physio feel that I was doing well. I now have an open appointment with the Ortho should I need to see him for something sometime. Things are moving in the right direction, but it is a lot of effort -- working to the pain and holding a stretch repeatedly through the day can leave the arm in a rebellious mood by the evening. I will discuss pain management with my family MD this week.
I am noticing range of motion and physical functioning changes a bit each day. There is still a long way to go, but being able to deal with the main activities of daily living is key now. Other 'extras' will come with time. I try to be positive and work at this project. I am stubborn <smile> and know I will keep up as I want things to be as close to 100% as possible. I won't kid you, though, there are moments each day of doubt, fear and anger -- especially by the end of a day when I am so tired and sore. It is likely unrealistic to expect to feel positive all the time. So, I try not to beat myself up about that. Seeing x-rays and realizing the number of screws in the arm, I understand some of the pain much better. The incision is healing well, but some sore areas are there still. The physio gave me some stretch tubing to use as an arm cover -- this after I told her I was afraid of being in public as people may bump or grab it. She felt this arm cover would help people (including me) to remember that there is some tenderness there. It also serves to cover the nasty ugly incision -- some folks are squeamish and I'm not even sure I want anyone to see it yet. It should help me to wear short sleeves now instead of wearing a sweater or jacket over things -- great as the temperature warms <smile>. So - recovery is moving forward and I have some positive helpers around me to keep me motivated.
I thought of a song line while moving the joint for the MD today -- pushing things to the edge of pain to show him how far I've come in the past week. I love this song for many reasons including the group singing. Enjoy!
This weekend I watched the HBO movie, Bessie, an amazing biopic about Bessie Smith. Queen Latifah played the title role. I've seen her in comedic roles before, but her dramatic abilities are strong. Smith was a complex individual with many demons from her abusive childhood in the US south and being a black female entertainer in the first decades of the 20th century. She was determined, though. Her repertoire in Blues and Jazz set the stage for many other artists -- male and female. She worked in vaudeville, travelled as headliner in troupe shows, and moved into the Swing era just before her untimely death.
The life story was inspiring. It reminded me of a movie I'd seen years ago -- Lady Sings the Blues -- where Diana Ross played Billie Holiday, a blues singer who stated she'd been inspired by Bessie Smith. Each film speaks to the difficulties faced by black women during these times -- when racial and sex-based prejudice was entrenched in all policies. To persevere took special individuals and these women were definitely that.
With such fantastic recording histories, finding just two songs to share today was a challenge. I've realized today that I am up for a challenge. <smile> The first by Bessie Smith received many accolades and is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as one of the songs that led the way for new musical formats. The second is a song that struck me the first time I heard it -- the melody is amazing, though the lyrics are hard to accept -- but I'm from a different time and space. You might enjoy hearing Diana Ross and Queen Latifah singing each of these songs, too -- just for the juxtaposition. I love the soul in the originals, but the actors did commendable jobs. Enjoy!
Living in a maritime area, I would be remiss not to celebrate today -- World Oceans Day. Growing up on the prairies, I have learned to appreciate the ocean and all it provides to life and livelihoods. Many activities can help us to understand better the multiple roles the world's oceans play and why they have been deemed the heart of the planet.
Choosing sustainably harvested fish and seafood is a key step in the right direction. Many major grocery chains have pledged to source only sustainably fished products in the coming 2-3 years. Watch for logos on food packaging that indicate that this has occurred. Newer traceability will allow consumers to use a QR code or bar code to trace where the package they hold was fished, by whom, and when. Very cool technology use. We also can participate in shoreline cleanups of all bodies of water and learn where to dispose of toxic substances rather than flushing them or dumping them into the sewer system. Simple things that help the whole planet. Even using public transit or hybrid vehicles can help with green house gas emissions and address climate change that will impact Arctic ice melt and reduce ocean salinity and water temperatures, which, in turn, can affect tides, currents and migration patterns of sea life. Pledge to make a difference. And, if you haven't dipped your toe in the ocean, make a plan to visit and do so.
Several songs came to mind, but I settled on one that presents a concern with the order of things in the world -- the role greed can play in destroying habitat. I will admit that some of the lyrics remind me of the message from the dolphins in Douglas Adams's book "So long and thanks for all the fish." That makes me smile a bit in the midst of the deeper social commentary of the song. Enjoy!
It was a sunshine filled day -- that soft warm sun of springtime, not the harsh hot sun of summer. It was slightly cool during the day and there is a frost warning for overnight, but the days are to be pleasantly warm this next week. I prefer the cooler nights as it is easier for me to sleep at such temperatures. Friends took me out to the grocery store in mid-afternoon -- another great outing that fits with a usual lifestyle. I look forward to driving myself again sometime soon. The milestone for today was taking a shower -- with suture holes healed over I could finally do this instead of bathing in the tub.
One line from an older song has been running through my head all day. It began when I encountered the sun light in the kitchen this morning. The full lyrics deal with something entirely different, but I love the poetry of the first line. Enjoy!
A very slow Saturday at my house today. I was able to complete some of the usual weekend chores -- again a bit of normalcy returning to daily routines. I was very tired by mid-afternoon -- there is still a need to rest or nap, it seems.
I was speaking to a neighbour who had a complex arm break two weeks before mine occurred. She agreed that time seems to go by more slowly during recovery, It is three weeks today since my fall, yet it truly feels like a couple of months, However, even having found the secret to slowing the passage of time, I will not recommend this method to anyone. I've thought about the passage of time for a while now, wondering what makes things seem to be going more slowly. It could be the different routine and inability to do all the usual tasks, though these are replaced with many new focuses. Perhaps some of the social isolation -- not fully isolated but less contact than usual -- makes time seem to move with less rapidity. However, I also wonder if being more fully focused on many small items that we often overlook -- like me scratching my nose today and then realizing this was the first time in three weeks since that hand had touched my face (the arm still doesn't bend that far yet, but it did briefly <smile>) -- might make people experience time very differently.
I heard the title line of today's selection while pondering the passing of time. It seemed so perfect for sharing here today. Enjoy!
Physiotherapy was the word of the day. Seems my extension and flexion are 'good' with extension being easier to achieve. Stretching exercises to continue -- at least these can be done anywhere including meetings and waiting for taxis <smile>. In other news I had two short meetings today about summer writing projects. This added to the feeling that some normal work will continue during the recovery process. Full work days will be difficult -- at least in one continuous stretch. So only for the two full day events in the coming week will I need to do this. Breaks will be taken as needed -- health is paramount here.
While planning for motivations to get me through the physical work, I decided on a physio playlist for the iPod -- comprised of songs of persevering through difficulties (of which there is no shortage -- songs not difficulties <g>). I should get through the playlist daily if I spend the requisite time each hour in stretching -- I'm looking forward to that form of measuring progress <smile>. I still have not ruled out matrimonial cake in addition to the musical interludes <g>.
Oddly while walking home from the office today, a tune came to mind -- an instrumental. It brought thoughts of working and training to reach a goal. There are more than one of this type of 'fight' song, and while I have gone up the stairs of the museum in Philadelphia, that wasn't the tune that I heard first today <smile>. Enjoy!
Twice this week I've eaten lunch in a restaurant each time with a friend. These outings have added a semblance of normalcy to life -- something far more valuable than just having someone else cook for me <smile>. Having time to visit with friends while not asking for their assistance with some daily activity feels amazingly 'usual.' At home, I have noted that I am using food as a reward at times -- a treat for getting over the next hurdle. This isn't the healthiest relationship -- professionally I've always recommended that food not be used as a bribe yet here I am doing just that <smile>. Do all my stretches today and I get a treat. <grin>
The food treats I've used seem to have roots in childhood -- so perhaps it is a comfort factor more than a bribe for me at present. I generally eat whole grain breads, yet have used white rolls from a local bakery that remind me of my grandmother's rolls. I purchased some cinnamon pinwheels and matrimonial cake (aka date squares elsewhere in the world). Cinnamon brings calm feelings of home and the cake is similar to my mom's recipe.
This current use of food reminded me of a song from childhood -- one that implies sweets help get us through unpleasant things. Maybe this struck a chord with me as a child so still seems to be my 'go to' as an adult or maybe I'm just trying to rationalize eating treats. Enjoy!
It was a busy day -- time working in the office, attending a meeting and an outside appointment. It was fatiguing, but getting a few things done seemed 'normal' for a change. Much energy was devoted to a major decision and communicating that decision to those involved. I will not be travelling to the annual professional conference this year, I'm feeling sad not to be there with friends and colleagues, but know I need to focus my energies elsewhere to get this arm functional again.
I heard Nietzsche in my head today -- "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." This helped me to see that the pain of missing an annual event was akin to the physical pain of physiotherapy. Both have a similar goal. This philosopher also said "Without music, life would be a mistake," which led me to the blog. Today's selection reflects the difficult decisions being made today. Enjoy!
Stronger (what doesn't kill you) -- Kelly Clarkson
Rain all day -- spitting to full on pouring -- all wrapped in single digit temperatures. The temperature is great for sleeping and we do need some rain to moisten the dry woods and ground -- so I'll not complain about the weather today <smile>. Instead, I'll look at the latest encounter with the health care system. A very friendly nurse (I believe this due to his signature on a report form) called me into a casting clinic room. While he didn't introduce himself or wear a badge anywhere near eye level, I discerned his name from the label on the scissors he used to remove the cast and stitches. Having never had the delight of stitches before, he warned that removal can 'pinch' a bit. About half left easily and the others were not quite ready to give up their hold on me. I practised my breathing to avoid holding my breath and possibly getting woozy <smile>. The x-ray tech I saw next was wonderful -- still no name given. I think as this journey goes forward I'm just going to have to ask people what their name is and what their position is, if it isn't immediately apparent. The Orthopedist did introduce himself -- a very patient man who explained things to me after checking on my professional medical background. He told me that my exercises should be like a full time job -- about 10 minutes each hour (assumed he meant for waking hours and maybe 8 hours times 10 minutes). I have a requisition for physio that I have to drop off ($14 in cab fare) or fax myself. Still not sure why that couldn't go out electronically from the clinic in one hospital to another clinic in another hospital even if in a different town.
I tried to watch the cast removal and found an oddly shaped arm under all the wrapping and plaster. That process reminded me of unwrapping mummies -- for some strange reason <smile>. I couldn't see the stitches as they faced away from me and towards the gentleman doing the removal. Given the 'ouch' factor, I likely would have closed my eyes to try to concentrate on breathing or something more pleasant. I tried to keep them open and take it all in. I have tried the two stretches quickly demonstrated by the Orthopedist. While range of motion is limited -- as expected with an elbow injury -- extending the arm seems easier than flexing the hand towards the shoulder. The latter moves a few degrees but seems impossible to go further. With time and the 'aggressive' therapy ordered the physio should help to make this joint work. Now today my imagination helped me through some unexpected pain, but it also has heightened anxiety around the future pain of getting this joint moving again with some semblance of normalcy. It seems to be working me into and out of a lather. As for the reveal in my mirror at home -- the bruising has turned a yellowish hue, some swelling around the joint still present but far less than a week ago (the cast had some slight wiggle room to it for the past 3 or 4 days), incision is ugly red and suture removal left tiny open holes. All in all far better than I'd imagined. I can only hope this foreshadows the expected pain level.
The selection for today reminded my of trying to be present and see what needed to be seen -- face it head on rather than build it up too much in my mind. This singer has been a favourite for some time. Enjoy!
We had another cool and rainy day today. The temperature is great for sleeping,though. <smile> I did another foray to Main Street this afternoon, which was very pleasant. While catching up with messages from friends, I was introduced to an amazing duo. A wise friend called them the Simon and Garfunkel of the 21st century -- a very apt description. I'd like to share one of their recordings with you all here. It is wonderfully relaxing and their acoustic approach is amazing. Enjoy!
