Day 8 - 120 -- Weirdness

The cool and rainy day brought the last of the April showers. The house felt cool, likely due to the dampness. My mood kept drifting back to match the greyness of the day outside.  

The current public health order has been set for two weeks. We can hope that things will improve by then. The new case numbers remain higher than comfortable. From recent updates, it seems the numbers will likely increase as the huge backlog of tests are being processed. Many tests came from the asymptomatic stream -- a good thing that people chose to be tested without symptoms or knowingly being in contact with a positive case. However, we have been asked to refrain from booking asymptomatic tests for now while the province focuses on testing of higher risk people. I'll admit to feeling a bit frightened by it all -- and sad -- an odd combo. So many places across the country have had protests or mass gatherings just for fun. Being in lockdown or on curfew or whatever can make people feel put upon. I get that. But much like our Chief Medical Officer of Health said this week -- "Scared is what you're feeling; Brave is what you're doing." I do understand the fear, but am struggling to feel that what I do is brave. I can't understand what others feel in response to this latest wave of the pandemic. I can understand the difficulties encountered when trying to adapt to stay-at-home orders. The stories circulating about people heading to the next town down the road to shop or eat in a restaurant because their city is locked down make me shake my head. How can that behaviour be rationalized? We are all tired of this blasted thing, but without getting vaccines, tested when necessary, masking, or staying home we will be in the midst of this for much longer. We have that power to do our part, though not all people see it that way. 

A song from the distant past made me smile as I was thinking through some of the parts of the topic today. The title says what I've repeated several time in the past few weeks. Keep safe. Enjoy! 

People are Strange -- The Doors

Day 8 - 119 -- Facing Fear

We had a sunny and slightly warmer start to the day. This will be the respite sandwiched between cooler and rainy days. The light wind made things feel a bit cooler than the actual temperature when I was out briefly in the afternoon. During the day I had two short visits by phone and Skype. It was great to check in with people as we are isolating.  Somehow, it feels more oppressive that the usual self imposed isolation has been <sigh>. 

I'll admit the situation of this third wave brings feelings of fear. We have been very lucky in this province to have things reasonably controlled over the past year-ish. Those in charge have been transparent and trustworthy. In fact, the Chief Medical Officer of Health will receive an honourary doctorate degree for his work through this pandemic at convocation next Friday. The ceremonies will be virtual without people gathering together due to the lockdown. Some parts will be recorded while others will be live. I plan to watch via Zoom and will be wearing my academic regalia. Graduates of this year hold the final group of people I taught before retirement. <smile> 

A couple of lines from a song came to mind today. The title states how I've been feeling and a few lines of the chorus use various synonyms. So, this was the choice for the day. It is by a Canadian prairie artist. Stay safe. Enjoy! 

I'm Scared -- Burton Cummings

 

Day 8 - 118 -- Confinement

Outside the kitchen window this morning I saw menacing dark grey clouds mixed with tiny sunny spots in between.  So began the first day of the two week (at least) lockdown. We haven't been in this situation across the province for over a year -- despite the newscaster who stated 'never' <sigh> Late last night, my toaster made a funny sound and now only toasts on one side of the bread. Is this an essential item? For me it is. I hope that I can do a curbside pickup of an online purchase with the next grocery run that I had planned for today or tomorrow. 

As soon as I heard that the lockdown would begin this morning, I felt confined or trapped. I have always railed against being ordered to do something, but this felt more like a bit of sadness rather than frustration or anger. To be honest, I'm not sure how this will be different than how I've been living for the past year. I only go out to grocery stores or drug stores and try to space my visits over a 7 to 10 day or longer time period. In the past year, I have been to the hardware store twice and gift shops twice. I've been out to homes of friends within my bubble 3 times since January. What I've been asked to do by the new public health order varies only in that I cannot visit with my friends in person. 

I know this is for the greater good. I laughed when I heard the words of Mr. Spock (played by Leonard Nimoy) in my head -- "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." In one movie this was followed by Captain Kirk stating, "Or the one."  I've always felt these words described Public Health so well. And, after all, what else would this 'circuit breaker' lockdown be designed to do?  So, I will continue to find things to do at home and shop from the screen and outside pickup for the essentials needed. 

A few different lyric lines came to mind today, but this one fit better than the rest. The main lyrics occur in the first stanza. Keep safe. Enjoy! 

I Want to Break Free -- Queen 

Day 8 - 117 -- Balancing Hope

It's been an odd weather day. The skies struggled to decide if it would be cloudy and wet or sunny with clouds. It kept flipping back and forth between these two. My thoughts flipped back and forth today just like the weather. 

I struggled to take a day to do nothing <!> but also struggled to reconcile the numbers released by the province today. Now stats say that Tuesday numbers are often a bit lower due to methodological counting issues, so that made today's announcement even more concerning. Numbers showed that we were just shy of 100 new cases and have almost four times that many active cases. Yes, we are a small province in terms of population, but one that has dealt with this pandemic aggressively to keep our numbers low. Today the numbers are almost double the highs we encountered a year ago. So, authorities carefully explained the return to only essential outings -- medical, legal, and necessary supplies -- for the whole province with stricter shut down orders in the main urban area. 

But there are positive messages available, too. Vaccination rates are moving along well locally, provincially and nationally. That bodes well for community immunity -- a level of immunity that greatly reduces transmission of the virus. We are moving towards that goal. How often do we hear someone say that they had their tetanus booster or received the shingles vaccine? In my experience this has been rare -- even when it was happening. With the current mass vaccination process, each day I hear from people I know who have had their first or second dose. We are in this together and see this process as something positive that should be shared and celebrated. It brings hope amidst the despair -- and it just may be tipping in favour of hope. 

I chose a song with lyrics that envelop hope. It isn't in your face upbeat, but gets the point across in a relaxed way. This is from another iconic album written by a favourite of mine. <smile> Stay safe. Enjoy!  

Here Comes the Sun -- The Beatles

Day 8 - 116 -- Surreal Sore Arm

What a day! So many emotions. Many positives mixed with a healthy dose of fear. Today was vaccination day. I received the first dose.  The whole process felt so surreal. Wasn't it only last year that we were learning just exactly what this virus was and what it did? Here we are today getting a vaccine -- one of several developed over the year. As I said to the woman administering the vaccine, "Yay Science!" <smile> It is much more than that. Globally, scientists worked together to develop these vaccines. Collaboration built on the vaccine research that has been going on for years -- particularly of the newer vaccine technologies -- to focus efforts on this virus and now the variants. This cooperative process required funding -- without which nothing would have happened. It is a new way of doing business for the science world. 

I had so many emotions jumping all around -- going up and then down and then up again. I was anxious. As I waited in line, I felt something joyful with small moments of OMG what am I doing? I feel grateful that this is available to me and my fellow citizens. Even with the slowdown around the time of my appointment, it was minor given that we've waited over a year and felt such uncertainty that this day would ever arrive. When I left the clinic area and headed out the doors -- after sanitizing my hands for the four time during the visit -- I felt an immense sense of relief. Maybe even freedom. I wasn't certain if I should cry or shout for joy. I did a bit of both, though it was a quiet shout from behind a mask <smile>  

A dear friend who received their second dose had said that now they were on the bus. I think that I have likely just found the road and bus stop after a year of slogging through the bush with a machete. The second dose should have me boarding that bus to join friends and family. That is a 105 day wait. I may start a countdown <smile>. 

The choice for today had to have a surreal nature to fit the day. This one is a favourite from an iconic album and band. It comes from the psychedelic rock genre. Stay safe. Enjoy! 

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds -- The Beatles

Day 8 - 115 -- Finding Some Sparkle

We had a sunny start to the day again. I headed out for quick visits to the drug store and grocery store. When I got home, I received a phone call from dear friends back in my home town. I had thought of them while making breakfast today since it has been a while since I mailed a note. We had a great chat that added to the sparkle in the day. 

I've been pleased to have a couple of days with more up than down this week. With the added limitations by the province on Thursday and again today on Sunday, there have been tears. We've hit the highest recorded number of new cases in a single day exactly a year since the last highest day. Why people refuse to stay home for a short time to get a better summer out of the deal is just so beyond me. My tears come from frustration with individual choices, sadness for the number infected and fear for those who are trying desperately to hold back the onslaught. Even with that, we are in a good place where public health and politicians work decisively and quickly when necessary. I found the sunshine delightful. It helped me to breathe and return to a calmer place. Speaking with my friends did the same thing by helping me laugh in the midst of fear. 

The title and lead line of a chorus came to mind today. While this provides two options for how our days can go, it focuses on the lesser of the two, even though the title focuses on the better option.  I felt disappointed that the lyrics tell of the difficulty more than the ease which some days bring to our lives. If I'd been writing this song <smirk>, I would have opted to try to balance the two ends of the spectrum and note that many days sit in between the two anchor points. I might also have used coal as the negative end point on that continuum. But, then, who am I to criticize a great prolific songwriter? <smile> I hope you enjoy this one. Stay safe. Enjoy! 

Some Days are Diamonds -- John Denver

Day 8 - 114 -- Moonstruck

 Today began sunny that turned to cloudiness by mid-afternoon and sun again by late afternoon. The moon rose before sunset and is almost full. It looked delightful shining in the blue sky.  I find myself looking at the moon every time I pass a south facing window tonight. It is so good to see the moon. Cloudiness has been with us for so long that the moon and stars have not been visible at night. Even the sun has been obscured. I found it bright and blinding around sunset. <smile> I grew up in a part of the continent where skies were clear for the vast majority of days. Living in a maritime climate now, clouds are more often present -- sometimes for over two weeks at a time. Not seeing the celestial bodies can be disorienting. So, when the sky clears and everything is visible again, I take great pleasure in just gazing at it all. 

The skies are clearer and the  moon is so bright tonight. I heard the chorus lines of a song run through my head while staring at the moon. The words were just how I felt -- a bit joyous and ready to dance. <smile>  The music and tempo help. Stay safe. Enjoy! 

Dancing in the Moonlight -- King Harvest

Day 8 - 113 -- Mood Booster

This morning was cloudy and cold with some light precipitation -- some of it frozen <smile>.  I headed out for an errand and a quick chat at the bank that became 35ish minutes instead of the expected 5 -- all good news <smile>. That made my day -- the greyness and cold felt less onerous. I cooked supper and made a fruit crisp for dessert over the next few days. Yum! 

It is interesting how perceptions can change as conversations or experiences provide something that feels positive -- or negative for that matter. It can be difficult to hold onto the bliss or grumps when something around you happens. Maybe someone smiles at your or gives you great news. That can pull you out of the doldrums at least for a while. Similarly, someone cuts you off in traffic, cuts in front of you in line at the grocery store or says something inappropriate. That will have an impact on your good mood -- at least for a while. The key here is that we do need to acknowledge when our moods are changed by external stimuli. We shouldn't just try to ignore them and force ourselves to feel something that we don't. Note what we do feel and then move forward. My conversation today boosted my mood. The negatives are still there, but the good news helped to temper them somewhat. That and the gorgeous white magnolia tree in full bloom outside the bank. <smile> 

Noticing the flowers and smiles and good news today helped me see the world in a less negative way. This brought to mind a song by one of my dad's favourite musicians. Keep safe. Enjoy! 

What a Wonderful World -- Louis Armstrong

Day 8 - 112 -- Admiring Nature

It's been a mixed bag today in terms of weather. Stronger winds accompany the front moving across the region. This included cloudy skies, some rain in the early afternoon and bits of blue sky and sun between cloudy areas. It seemed a perfect fit for the day -- Earth Day.  

The new neighbours partied loud and late last night. I was so hoping for more permanent residents to move into the house after the renos. Like many things these days, my wishes weren't enough to change the world <smile> I did very little today-- a couple of chats with others, listening to the latest on provincial lockdown measures, and  taking some time to relax and rest. I enjoyed looking at the large purple-blue patches of squill in the front lawn. More blooms than in past years appeared this year. That made me smile. I look forward to the magnolias which should begin soon -- one of my favourite signs of seasonal change. In the meantime, lilies, irises and phlox are showing lots of greenery. 

Taking some time to pay attention to nature in my yard today felt good. The song shared here comes from a major album. Take time to relax and enjoy the world around you. Keep safe. Enjoy!

Mother Nature's Son -- The Beatles

Day 8 - 111 -- Recalculating

Some days I feel like a human GPS -- giving directions for my travels only to have the routes changed in front of me. So, I'm always recalculating. An appointment for today was canceled this morning and rebooked for just under two weeks from now <sigh>. This serves to extend the anxiety involved with that appointment. A couple of other appointments were booked and at least two others need to be attended to soon.  

The morning began with sunshine and a light breeze. The yard cleanup service arrived today. Mowing won't begin for a few weeks, but things look much neater in the yard now. We had a good chat to catch up on events since his last visit in November to gather up the leaves. It feels comforting to have this tiny bit of  stability with the same person doing the work year over year. Small things. 

The song choice for today deals with obstacles encountered with travel. It seemed to fit my thoughts and the tempo helped to energize me a bit. Stay safe. Enjoy! 

Travelin' Band -- Creedence Clearwater Revival

Day 8 - 110 -- Reminiscing

 Much like yesterday, the day began grey and dreary with sunshine and bits of blue sky appearing by suppertime.  A chat with a friend in the afternoon was followed by completion of the tax forms, which are ready to send tomorrow. <smile>

This week the ubiquitous rental trucks and trailers appeared in town. Final exams finish this week, so many students are finishing and moving back home. I feel a wistfulness at this point in the academic year. It reminds me of the many trips to and fro that I made with my dad as an undergrad, practicum student and into graduate school. But, the early undergrad years hit home more right now. For five years, dad and I packed the car and moved it all 2.5 hours north to a residence room every fall and in April we moved it all back south again. Each year the amount of stuff to move increased incrementally -- mostly due to the increase in books and papers. Living in residence on campus meant very little furniture was required. I did have a small book shelf from my bedroom at home that moved to hold my stereo and later the black and white television. Other than that, the boxes held things to fill the closet, book shelves, desk drawers and dresser drawers. We'd head out for supper before the trip home. I miss those meals and conversations. In our final move back home, we packed every available inch of the old Dodge Fury. Dad was a master at spacial tasks like this. On that drive home in the evening darkness, we laughed whenever an oncoming car would flash their headlights at us. There was no need to use high beams since the back half of the car was riding so low with all the boxes, that the headlights shone upwards. 

Lots of lyrics zipped around in my brain today, but one line seemed perfect -- "Oh, to be home again." Keep safe. Enjoy! 

Rocking Chair - The Band

Day 8 - 109 -- Apprehension

Another grey and drizzly April day with cold temperatures became a bit sunny just before sunset. A phone chat with a friend helped to deal with some of the anxieties that filled the grey day in my mind. Uncertainty abounds even with more definitive time points. Today one of the questions of 'when' became more of a 'what' question. A friend sent me a message this morning noting that the province had changed the vaccination age limit and ended the note with "That's you!!" It was an odd feeling. Tears flowed -- some happy and some scared tears. I felt a bit excited -- that bizarre mix of anticipation and a large dose of trepidation. The inevitable questions followed -- What will happen? How will the body react? With anxiety, like Gilda Radner's autobiography title, "It's always something". <smile>

One word filled my head for much of the day -- the title of the song shared here. Keep safe. Enjoy! 

Anticipation -- Carly Simon

Day 8 - 108 -- Outdoor Colours

Today was another cold and rainy spring weekend day. The quality of the light makes the grass an intense green even though it provides a rather dismal look to the day. This reminded me of a work trip when I was with public Health back in Saskatchewan. That day was bright, sunny and warm -- an early June summery day. As I drove by a tiny town, on the right I noticed a cat walking the ridge line of an old barn. I thought that was odd. As my gaze moved towards a forward view, I noticed the road covered with small gravel sized pebbles and longer stems of grass -- more likely a grain from the surrounding fields. To the left the sky was a deep navy blue, the plants were a vivid green and the ditch water was a surreal Caribbean turquoise. Looking forward again, a squarish whit cloud seemed to be at ground level in the distance. Now when I saw the road debris, my head swiveled to see the sky from all directions. I was looking for a funnel cloud. Ten minutes further down the road, a semi had been blown into the ditch by what was later determined to be a straight line wedge wind. I pulled off the road at that small town thinking I'd visit with my mom's cousins for a bit until the weather moved further east than I had to travel. In that town, I found that the streets were covered in tree branches and leaves. People were just coming out of their homes to survey the damage. Needless to say, I passed on adding to the stress of relatives at that moment. Instead, I parked by the grain elevator and listened to radio weather reports. 

When I submitted my travel sheets for that trip, I asked the office manager if I could put in for the 'beyond roads end' rates since I had clearly seen Oz that day. <smile> The song shared today may not surprise anyone. I hope the cover version chosen might be. Keep safe. Enjoy!

Over the Rainbow -- Ella Fitzgerald 

Day 8 - 107 -- Power of Silence

My day began with light drizzle mixed with occasional snow flakes.  The greyness of the day matched my first activity this morning -- viewing the funeral of Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. For a COVID style service, it worked well. Only 30 family members attended and the choir was a well-spaced group of four plus a conductor.  The music was amazing. The four voices sounded much fuller than expected in the amazing acoustics of the chapel.  The lone bagpiper followed by the regimental bugles and trumpets were moving and sounded stunning. Luckily the day was sunning in Windsor. 

My day was quiet as I spent time watching some recorded programming and did half of the weekly laundry. Having felt yucky for a couple of weeks, I found that a day just resting helped me feel a bit better physically and emotionally. Finding a space that lets me brain ease into silence and move away from the frenetic fear, anger and frustration helps so much. Techniques to get there will vary based on the day and often may require outside assistance. <smile> Today, I found some on my own and had help from another. That should help with my sleep tonight. 

Lyrics from a song note the calmness that self and others can provide. In this case, the music helps, too. <smile> Keep safe. Enjoy! 

Easy Silence -- The Chicks

 

Day 8 - 106 -- Historical Date

The week ended with a cloudier day with rain expected. This could become mixed precipitation overnight and then more rain tomorrow. We'll see. 

On this day in 1746, the final battle of the second rising of the Jacobites occurred on Culloden Moor. The army of the English king soundly defeated the Scottish troops in a very one-sided, short-lived battle. Prince Charles Stuart, often called Bonnie Prince Charlie, as pretender to the throne of Scotland had garnered support from many clans throughout the highlands. Other clans fought with the English troops. When it was over, tartan was banned from display and clothing. Clan seats were destroyed with chiefs and supporters thrown into dank prisons. Many of those who survived were sold into indentured servitude in England and into the Americas. After serving their time, Scottish settlements grew in Virginia and the Carolinas.  Prince Charles made his way to the west coast of Scotland to a place called Arisaig. From their he traveled by sea to the Hebrides. Interestingly, north of the town where I live is a smaller town also called Arisaig. A stone cairn was built near there to commemorate the Battle of Culloden, since many Scottish settlers landed in this area and their descendants live here to this day. 

The selection for today is a song about the end of the rising and the escape of Prince Charles -- who is purported to have escaped by boat dressed as a woman. The melody is hauntingly beautiful. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Skye Boat Song -- The Skye Boat Song

Day 8 - 105 -- Needs and Wants

Some sun appeared today with a light cooler breeze. I did a short walk to the drug store for bread and a prescription renewal. Being outside felt pleasant. I've been feeling rather trapped indoors lately. Later in the day, I had a great weekly chat with a friend. I would be nice to see each other in person, but a virtual call works well. 

The intersection between wants and needs has very fuzzy boundaries. The differences are decidedly in the grey zone for many things -- like wanting and needing to feel better, for example. Others may be a bit more definitive such as wanting a million dollars but maybe not needing it to survive <smile>. Now,  seeing people virtually instead of being physically in the same place could be both a need and a want. We are social beings after all, so being separated as we've been can create mental health issues. Yet, keeping in touch virtually can still help with our connections with the outside world. 

Yesterday, I was reminded of a song that dealt with these two concepts. 

Can't always get what you want-- The Rolling Stones

Day 8 - 104 -- Need to Hide

Sunshine poked through the clouds into afternoon and my outing to grocery store. Getting out of the house for a little bit can feel good. The walls have been closing in on my lately. Some days I just need a hug. 

Anxiety remained high today -- feeling trapped with fear, frustration, and anger. None of this is directed in any one direction but at everything that feels threatening. Listening to my brief review of the days news seems to have been adding to the anxiousness lately. 'Less than expert' individuals are interviewed and share their own fears and 'what ifs'. This doesn't inform the public; instead it feeds the frenzy among viewers -- definitely not helpful for mental health. I will try to go back to reading headlines with the sound muted and then move on to something less inciting in hopes of feeling a bit calmer.  I also need to look for the positives during the day. Acknowledging the negative feelings also needs to be done -- name it and sit with it, then move on with the day. This is difficult to do, but hiding feelings or hiding from feelings doesn't help us to continue moving forward. 

That said, I did think that hiding until things pass (whenever that might be) sounded like a solid plan <smile>. That brought one of my favourite lyric lines to mind. I've used the song here before, but it still works for me when I start to feel like this. This fun duet version is different from the one I've shared before. Keep safe. Enjoy! 

Milkshake -- Peter Tork & James Lee Stanley

 

Day 8 - 103 -- Engulfed

The day, much as the overnight had been, was cold and windy. I headed out to the drug store to buy a number of things form the sales flyer and couple not on sale. It was a bulky articles shopping trip, so I used a shopping cart -- first time ever in a drug store -- and drove so that I didn't have to order Sherpa gear to pack it all for a schlep home. I had several phone calls to make and couldn't get myself to the place where I could do it. Fear and anxiety have risen over the past several days. Some future events create feelings of uncertainty at present, likely since there is too much to cope with and coping skills and strategies seem to be failing me right now. It will improve, but will take some time to view all things from a new angle. 

The title of song chosen for today fit my feelings. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Under Pressure - Queen ft. David Bowie

Day 8 - 102 -- Seeing Friends

 A cool northerly wind flew through the day. By evening the wind was quite strong. Drizzle of late afternoon became rain. Temperatures were chilly. I think the dampness made it feel colder. To keep me moving forward and not just wrapping myself in blankets and quilts and sleep the day away, I headed to campus to print the documents and such that I'd worked on over the weekend. The printer wanted to make everything in colour, so some pages had bits of bright ink splashed across the header. 

My favourite part of the time on campus today was seeing and speaking with friends and colleagues who were three dimensional. It felt to see their faces as often we've just heard each others voices in virtual classrooms and meetings. I so miss the personal interactions like this. Even with masks, it was great to see their eyes as they spoke -- they showed the smiles hidden under the masks.  

Seeing friends today helped lift my spirits a bit. I chose a song today that reflects how important friends can be. This version has a more upbeat tempo than some of the covers, so it fit today best. Stay safe. Enjoy! 

With a Little Help from my Friends -- The Beatles

Day 8 - 101 -- Celebrate Small Wins

 It was a quiet Sunday as I finished laundry, some cooking and took time to rest. I did have to call to cancel the long-distance plan that has been free for the past two years before the bill began to reflect the full price. When doing this, the agent noted that they could give me another year free instead of canceling. Interesting. I don't make enough distance calls to pay for the usual monthly cost, but if it is free, hey, why not? <smile>  It is nice not to need to worry about the potential costs and just pick up the phone and call. Even with the previous plan there would be a small charge for such calls, so free makes sense to me. 

I have been looking for the positives in the day -- the things that can fit into the 'win' column. We seem to be overly focused on the other columns these days, often for very good reasons. The third wave of the pandemic is wreaking havoc across the country and around the globe. Vaccinations seem to be working for population groups with larger proportions completed the process. Death rates seem to be lower than in the first and second waves, which federal public health officers have deemed to be related to vaccinations. We still have a way to go before the mythical herd immunity becomes fact, but every day more and more people participate in the vaccination process. This action helps the individual and the broader societies. 

My focus on a small win for the day brought to mind a song by a Canadian band. This one focuses on the smaller wins that can coalesce into a larger win. Stay safe. Enjoy! 

One Little Victory -- Rush

Day 8 - 100 -- Vaccines getting closer

It was a mainly sunny Saturday with cooler air temperatures -- A pleasant looking spring day outside my windows. Much of the day unfolded with housework and time spent with the annual preparation of taxes. So, nothing very exciting happened here. <smile>

Yesterday the vaccination age was lowered to those 65 and older. My group should be up in a few weeks then. I will recheck the government website more often now so I don't miss new age announcements for making appointments. It gets closer daily and so close one can almost see it. <smile> Many friends have received or have made appointments for the first dose. Many in the US are fully vaccinated or closing in on the date for the second dose. That makes me feel odd -- there are smiles and tears and lot of mixed emotion -- mainly positive, of course. Who knew something like getting vaccinated would create such a response in me? 

I chose a song from a movie because of the band name <smile>. It fit the topic of the thoughts of the day. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Lazy -- The Vaccines & Kylie Minogue

Day 8 - 99 -- A Somber Day

 I walked for a bit on this sunny day with a cool northerly wind. I had to hang onto my hat with the gusts between buildings on campus. I headed there to print some documents at the campus library. No courtesy terminals available due to COVID and I arrived without my laptop <sigh>. So, I will need to return to print over the weekend or early next week.  

I woke to the news that Prince Philip died this morning. While not surprising, it felt sad to see part of the past leave. He saw and participated in many of history's major events. Living two months shy of 100 years would play a role, but being married to the Queen ensured he would be close to the action. I saw him at least twice when the Queen attended church services in my home town, where the only high Anglican church in the province had been. I also was invited to a luncheon when he was honourary chairman of World Wildlife Fund. Sadly the mid-week event required a lengthy plane trip and three days  to fly down and back on either side of the luncheon day. I seriously considered going, but work had a couple of things that couldn't flex well. That and a day in Toronto would have been fun. My thoughts go to the immediate and larger family, especially the woman who lost her spouse of 73 years -- 69 of which he was royal consort to the Queen. Unprecedented numbers. 

In Canada, Prince Philip became the Colonel-in-chief of six units and was made honourary General of the Canadian Army and the Royal Canadian Air Force as well as honourary Admiral of the Royal Canadian Navy. One of the units for which he was Colonel-in-chief was the Seaforth Highlanders of Canada. Today I share the regimental march in honour of Prince Philip. 

The Piobaireachd of Donald Dhu -- The Regimental Band of the Queen's Own Cameron Highlanders of Canada

Day 8 - 98 -- Still Procrastinating?

 I walked in the sun to do two errands today. There was a light breeze and lots of blue sky. Earlier I had to defer to a live chat with my mobility provider since waiting for a live voice takes forever. Errors on the bill were rectified 'as a courtesy' this time. There should not be a second time for them to make this error <sigh> I ended the afternoon with a fun check-in chat with a good friend. 

Other than that, the day seemed to be led by procrastination. I dislike having to poke people to do their job when I've done everything I needed to do before turning things over to the next step. I find it frustrating when I have to remind people that things that may have gotten lost in their inboxes. Even a message noting that things may take longer than usual would help. At least it would acknowledge that they got my message and materials. One overdue item ended today without me having to send a message. I got a document with a hand written note telling the individual had been carrying this around for months (3.5 actually) meaning to drop it off. Instead it was placed in the mail this week. There are two other outstanding items -- one more urgent than the other, but again, why has this become my responsibility? <sigh> The other question is 'Why do I let this sit so long?' Confrontation isn't my favourite thing yet that isn't the usual end point with similar situations. I need to lean into the discomfort, it seems. That and be a bit kinder to myself and know I'm not in this alone. 

A song line came to mind today. The song has had many, many covers. One kept coming to mind. This is a year old, but again, fits the situation in some areas of the country now. Stay safe. Enjoy!

Lean on Me -- ArtistsCAN

 

Day 8 - 97 -- Out of My Own Way

The day felt rather slow and quiet. Even with a bit of brightness and blue sky between clouds this afternoon, it still feels a bit on the dismal side. No rains fell during the day, to that fits into the win column.

I had a meeting with a friend and colleague and still didn't solve the world's issues <smile>. My search for someone local to help with some paperwork led me to a potential solution. I reviewed other household and personal projects to get my notes updated. One will require an appointment with a professional and the other just needs me to sit down with a new software package and get it done - easier to type than execute, though <smile>

One line of lyric ran through my head -- "Don't let the sound of your own wheels make you crazy." Other lines fit my feelings today very well. This cover of the song is from a tribute album. Keep safe. Enjoy! 

Take it Easy -- Travis Tritt ft. The Eagles 

Day 8 - 96 -- Finding Safe Footholds

The day has been slow and not too filled with activity. The big news is that the sun appeared after a cloudy start to the day. So, after a chat with a colleague, I went for a short walk to get some milk and enjoy the brighter light. Some areas that I expected to be knee deep in mud were not. The sunshine seems to have dried up some areas but mud is present where ponding had taken place in the deluges. Good news was that I could circumnavigate the wetter spots and save my runners from getting caked in dirt. 

Being outside I made my way in a windy sort of way to get across the vacant part of a the yard next door. I generally do a straight line, but today that was not the best choice. Then I had to skip or hop a bit to move between puddles -- wet feet were not on the agenda today. <smile> Picking a drier path reminded me of the decision processes of this past year. Hesitancy, followed by a trial effort with a whole lot of hope that the step chosen got you where you wanted to be. In his one man show, Denny Doherty, formerly of The Mamas and The Papas -- and a from the north end of Halifax originally -- spoke similarly of making his way through life. He likened it to crossing a stream never knowing how deep areas were. He carefully chose to walk or jump between rocks, hoping the rock was dry and not slippery. Not all footholds were as safe as hoped, but moving to a better place could and did occur, always avoiding falling into the water. I expect there are days when standing on a dry rock seems the best thing to do since too much anxiety could come with moving to the next choice. Taking some time to breathe and check in with oneself embodies self care. That short rest allows one to take stock and weigh options of which rock to move to next. Moving on without taking a moment to surveil the area ahead could lead to landing on a very slippery rock and mess with the forward movement. 

The title and a line or two of lyric came to mind when making my way across the field area and gravel parking lot today. I'll share that song with you all today. Keep safe. Enjoy! 

The Long and Winding Road -- The Beatles

Day 8 - 95 -- The Week Begins

I submitted a manuscript review to a journal today. While not an abnormal activity, today it felt good to have something 'professional' to do. A book is in transit to review for a different publication, so there will be another fun topic to delve into again. This one is related peripherally to my research interest in history of nutrition and dietetic professions. In the afternoon, I had a good chat with a friend. 

These activities helped me to feel a bit better during a rather grey, dreary day. And, oh, by the way, it is still rainy outside <sigh> -- but amounts will be smaller for the next few days. 

The weekday and the continuing rain brought a song to mind. Far from being one of my favourites, but the title says best what I felt on and off during the day. stay safe. Enjoy! 

Rainy Days and Mondays -- The Carpenters

Day 8 - 94 -- Rain Rain Rain

A rain-snow mix greeted the morning. At present it is raining still with freezing rain warning for later in the day and rain continuing through tomorrow. Some areas are in flood watch and others have experienced flooding already. Inside today I continues with laundry and cooked a vegetable dish for dinner out.

I love vegetables and enjoy cooking interesting veg dishes for group dinners -- turnip & carrot puff, Brussels sprout saute, roasted cauliflower, root veg with maple glaze, roasted asparagus and today's star - spinach Madeleine. Salads are great fun, too. Favourites include spinach and strawberry with balsamic vinaigrette or mixed greens with oranges and poppy seed dressing, So many interesting recipes exist that something new can be made often. Sadly, dinners out with friends have all but disappeared in the past year. I do enjoy cooking for myself, but some dishes are so good, I just want to share them. <smile>  

Looking out the window and listening to the rain on the roof brought to mind a single song. It's another 'oldie' by a favourite band and favourite roots rock album. Keep safe. Enjoy! 

Who'll Stop the Rain -- CCR

Day 8- 93 -- Grayness Forecast

Another Saturday with the usual housework and laundry. Outside the day is gloomy and cold. Inside it feels damp and cold, too. More rain fell overnight with some traces of snow on parts of the ground by morning. During the day, more rainfall and overnight will involve extended freezing rain and in some areas snow. The forecast for here involves several hours of freezing rain followed by regular rain tomorrow. 

I slept well last night for the first time in several days. I was exhausted, which helped. I still felt tired at times through the day, but better than the past several days. The weather may play a role in my energy level and mood. I miss seeing the sun and blue sky. Spring brings a lot of precipitation so clouds are de rigueur. I did find 14 crocuses blooming in the lawn yesterday-- a great sign of spring and what follows. With the colder temperatures today, the flowers are closed up. A bit more warmth and even some sun, will bring them back again. I love the purple and white flowers, some solid colour and several white with purple stripes. Snowdrops and squill should appear in the coming week or so. These always make me smile -- something important these days. Nature connects us with something deep inside ourselves that brings a sense of belonging and calm. Take a moment and look around. It will be well worth the time. 

The selection today contains lyrics that reassure -- things will be okay. <smile> Stay safe. Enjoy! 

Touch of Grey - The Grateful Dead

 

 

Day - 8 - 92 -- Odd Day

It was a odd day with a few unexpected happenings. Anxiety was part and parcel of it all. When I sat to ponder and move past a few things, I felt a bit down. I heard a question in my head that I had posed earlier in the week -- What have I accomplished in the past year? It felt like nothing, but then I had focus on what I'd planned and hoped to accomplish. A colleague and friend Immediately noted that I had remained healthy -- that I followed public health guidelines to protect others and me -- and that I had cared for others. I challenged the concept of 'remaining healthy' since I feel that for many of us, this past year has messed with mental health at the cost of avoiding infectious disease. 

Pondering this helped me begin to look at the bigger picture of how I measure success. I had been looking for more tangible and measurable things but may have been missing all that intangible stuff. I didn't clean out the closets, put a new backing on a quilt, complete planned research along with major writing, spend time with friends and family, and so many other plans I had at the beginning of the pandemic. Perhaps I have learned a bit more about myself, the world around me and my place in it all. Just a bit, though, since these may never be fully understood. Together with friends we've connected in different ways than usual visits -- working to support and maintain our relationships. These are accomplishments -- just not those I had expected. Maybe I understand a bit more about what is important to me in this world. Recently when I asked myself what I would regret not doing if I never had another chance, it came down to one thing -- tell them I love them. 💖 

A song from my youth fits my thoughts today and the point of the blog. <smile> I still have this vinyl album though it is very well worn. One for all of you. Keep safe. Enjoy!

I'll have to say I love you in a song -- Jim Croce

Day 8 - 91 -- Electricity

In the midst of my morning routine, we had a power outage before the storm. I waited 40 minutes and called utility line. It always surprises me to hear a live voice on the other end and not a recording --something special about a smaller town. I heard that it would be 3 hours before restoration. I worked to get information to a colleague to use the cell number instead of the home phone (land line seems not to be the term anymore now that service stops when power stops due to being VOIP in nature). Happily the phone meeting went well and power returned after about 2.5 hours. 

Today I realized how much my current daily schedule depends on a power source. And a world without wifi  -- don't get me started. <smile> I was getting the news headlines for the day and about to check the detailed weather forecast when the power left. I was minutes away from making my mid-morning caffeinated beverage. When all the usual contacts with the outside world stopped, I felt unsure what to do next. I did some cleaning in places where enough light came through a window so I could see what I was doing. It all just felt odd. I know my grandmother worked without electricity for much of her early adult life. Today reminded me of the respect I have for her and others who managed in the middle of the prairie. 

The song shared today has a title that just fit the day. Stay safe. Enjoy!