Day 243 -- power in relationships

Yesterday evening I attended the last production of the local summer theatre series. The show had received good reviews locally, much as it did both off- and on Broadway. Venus in Fur is an intriguing play. The content is definitely adult in nature as it explores the power bases of romantic relationships. It does this as a play within a play and with only two characters involved. Each actor did an amazing job last night. It was billed as a comedy, but at its heart was something much more serious. Comedic moments did exist and were likely necessary to deal with the tensions at the crux of the play.

The play left me with many thoughts as it did not tie things up in a neat and tidy bow, leaving us to ponder the nature of power in any relationship -- where power resides and how it moves between people in the relationship. In my view of life, I prefer that power in any relationship -- romantic or otherwise -- be shared fairly equally among participants. I do recognize that this may not always materialize, but again, in my post-modernist way of seeing the world, that would be the ideal. I do strive to share power in research situations -- as researcher I don't feel that I should hold power over the researched. They have much to provide and without them there would be no study. In the classroom, this can be more challenging, but there are aspects that help to share power a bit more -- the opposite of the 'traditional' positivist educator who holds all the information and metes it out as they see fit, never taking in any new information from those in the class itself. I find I learn much with each class. Students have many experiences to offer insight into topics of discussion. And, I do know I don't have all the answers <smile>. Surprise! Participatory approaches to learning may appear more difficult and push folks out of their comfort zones -- students and instructors -- but the end results are much richer.

The play began with a song from the late 1960s that I will share here today. I also want to share a second song from the late 1950s. Each has the same title and deals with the same goddess, and each carries a definite power base. Enjoy!

Venus -- Shocking Blue

Venus -- Frankie Avalon

Day 242 -- music and history mixed

While at the physiotherapist this week, I heard some interesting music. It seemed vaguely familiar -- new age-y and eastern sounding. Not my usual listening fare, but it was very relaxing. Relaxing was what the visit was all about -- trying to deal with spasms in muscle groups. I let the music take me to visions of central and eastern Asia. I asked who the songstress was and discovered that I had recognized her voice. When I got back home to my computer, I looked up the album and found a wonderful grouping of songs with an historical bent. Two of my favourite pastimes woven together -- history and music.

I want to share one of these selections with you all today. It is something that should be added to a relaxation playlist. Enjoy!

Marco Polo -- Loreena McKennett

Day 241 -- nine years later

Nine years ago today, a massive storm hit the Gulf coast devastating New Orleans where a catastrophic levee breech occurred. It held news interest for several weeks and then disappeared until the world marked annual anniversaries of the event, happily moving on with our lives and assuming everyone from the Gulf was living happily ever after. Sadly, news stories tend to reach a saturation point, where the audience ceases to pay attention and demands some new obsession.

I've visited New Orleans twice since Katrina and Rita hit the city, two years and four years after the events. The feelings were quite visceral and raw on the first visit. Survivors had stories that needed to be told and there was still vast areas that required cleanup, repair or rebuilding. The concept of rebirth and a more positive vibe were present on the second visit. Each trip was to attend a conference -- the rebuilding of local food systems in 2008 and the strengthening of local economies in 2010. Each conference included examples from the Gulf coast area with many guest speakers and site visits. I learned much about the resilience of the human spirit on these visits. The unique culture of New Orleans served it well, with more tourism evident in 2010. Sadly that summer saw the BP oil spill, so one of the joys (and sources of great pride), the cajun and creole seafood dishes were not the same as earlier. This situation led the culinary community to delve into historical recipe collections to discover new 'old' ways to prepare the food in innovative forms while keeping with the historical character of the cultural cuisine. (The collections were from the local library and SoFAB -- Southern Food and Beverage Museum.)

Fund raising for specific communities with losses was present during both visits. I did purchase a t-shirt with a screen print of what was left of Fats Domino's piano. I, too, had lost my piano in a flood a couple years earlier, so I felt that this one minuscule part of the pain I could begin to understand. The rest of the suffering is still beyond my ken. Television programs like the Treme series and many books and research articles have examined the loss, but spent much more effort on recovery and rebirth. I've found many of these fascinating, yet they still provided me with but a speck of the emotional baggage involved in living through and beyond such devastation. Proceeds from the t-shirt I purchased supported the New Orleans Musicians Relief Fund and on the second trip I was able to see the beginnings of the Musicians Village in the lower Ninth Ward. The village has been build by Habitat for Humanity and other organizations to provide housing for musicians who work to sustain the historical music history of the city.

When thinking of the hurricane effects, my mind always goes to one song. It contains some of the raw emotion. It was written and sung by a musician from New Orleans who also co-founded the Musicians Village. Enjoy!

All These People -- Harry Connick, Jr.ft. Kim Burrell

Day 240 -- happy customer service

The weather today was overcast and somewhat humid, though the temperature is a bit cooler than the past two days. Rain was forecast but so far nothing seems to have fallen, interesting when the forecast was for over half an inch. As Scarlett said, "Tomorrow's another day." <smile>

I encountered some great customer service today. I had purchased a sale item yesterday and discovered when I got home that the register hadn't been programmed to provide the sale price. The store is 2.5 hours from the house so I wasn't overly optimistic when I called to chat with a manager. She was very friendly and went to check the shelf tag before calling me back. She'd promised to call back within an hour and it was about 15 minutes. She found the sign and checked with the office person who will process the refund and mail me an updated receipt. This isn't a usual process, but with the distance as great as it is, they felt there would be no problem. What great customer service and with very pleasant people!

Isn't it amazing what a lift positive interactions can give your mood? I wondered why this isn't the norm -- but that has to do with everything else in people's lives at any given point in time. When complaining about a product or service, is it done with tone or with the realization that we are all susceptible to making a mistake? When someone complains to me, does it appear that I find them an intrusion in my day rather than really listening to them? Being face to face for such a conversation can be difficult as body language says many things, often unintended things. <smile>  Being on the phone means we only have our voices to convey all the other nuances of face to face meetings. Not easy either. And, heaven forbid, we are using e-mail or social media or <gasp> texting -- fewer clues are present for the parties involved to fully understand the tone, inflection, facial expression, body posture, and such. It is amazing there aren't more arguments given all the difficulties involved in getting our ideas across to another person. So -- when today's phone calls went well, it did make me feel happy.

There was one song line that fit the feeling. This version is from the early recording with the amazing clarity in the singer's voice. Love this group and their use of orchestral arrangements when it was still so new. Enjoy!

You've Made Me so very Happy -- Blood, Sweat, and Tears

Day 239 -- Serious day of shopping

I went shopping with a friend today -- it is a long trip in at about 2.5 hours (one way), so I don't do it very often. We had planned to go to two malls and an outlet area, but managed to find most things at one mall and a different outlet style area. I found some jeans and cords that fit <yay>. Bought one and will get the other from the online store as the leg style I wanted wasn't available in my size today. Got some household items and other new clothes for back to school <smile>.  There are still a few items that I didn't find, but I'll have another trip down in a month or so for a meeting. On the way home we stopped at a wonderful market and found locally grown fruit and veg and some great baking -- they make a mean trans fat free bran muffin <g>.

I have to go out of town shopping for choice to exist -- I often refer to this as 'real stores' -- and where age appropriate clothing is available for purchase.  I know that I want to live in a city again, even if I don't get to all the stores regularly, it will not be difficult to find furniture (or have it delivered), clothes, and household linens and such when needed. We have access to everything we need here, but in 3-4 stores, and the selection is limited. You can find sheets, you just may not find the colour or pattern you'd prefer, and they may be lower quality so they don't last as long, but you won't go sheetless. It seems that I've been able to spend less since moving here. With online shopping the shipping fees can be steep, so I've learned to watch for free shipping offers and other sales. It is not that I want to become a 'material girl' and buy a lot of items that I don't need, but rather I want to be able to buy what I need when I need it and not have to wait months for the next long trip to 'real stores'. Perhaps I'm looking for greater convenience -- but also a greater ability to buy goods that will last. Either way, today was a good day of shopping, a good travel day, and great time for conversing with a good friend. Tired now, but it is a good tired.

A silly song struck me as fitting for today, one by a Canadian group even. <g>  Enjoy!

Shopping -- Barenaked Ladies

Day 238 -- battling solar loading

Today was HOT. Perhaps I've been spoiled a bit by the cooler evenings and daytime highs in the lower 20's (75ish in the Farenheit scale) of the past week. Today shot up above 28C (86ish). My house is just as hot as outside today, and will be warmer overnight -- doesn't cool well. The full sun is nice, but killer heat. It made me wonder if the solar flares are not only messing up some communications technologies, but are shooting greater heat our way. Tomorrow will be a duplicate of today, so I'll need to find some A/C somewhere. This may be the day I need to do some of the annual "move into fall" shopping trips.

Throughout the day, one line stuck in my head -- seared in by the heat, no doubt <smile>. It is an upbeat song and when I listened to it from start to finish, it made me smile again. Enjoy!

Heat Wave -- Martha and the Vandellas

Day 237 -- Living in the Grey Zone

I heard a song this morning that made me think about the songs I've  posted here and other songs, in general. Each song I've posted says something to me, often something that may not have been the intended message. That is the joy of communications, though there are days when it is the heart of frustration, too <smile>. We each hear something that makes sense to us based on our unique experiences in life. This made me think of a conversation I've had many times. We do not live in a black and white dichotomized world. We live in the grey zone. There is no single truth. Wow -- did she say that? <g>  That is just the postmodernist in me coming through.

Communication is an art, filled with nuances. I can think of many times where what I meant and said was interpreted in a way that I'd never imagined. Then comes that famous phrase, "but you said . . . ."  <sigh>.  It isn't that people aren't listening, it is that the picture in their head is different than the one in mine. Those pictures help make sense of what we hear.

The song that began my thinking today notes the many stories being communicated through lyrics. It is wonderful that the singer is a Canadian country artist, too. Enjoy!

Some Songs -- Terri Clark

Day 236 -- travelling through time

Travelling -- something I've always enjoyed. Today I revisited a few trips while looking through the photos taken. What fun to see places and people and bring to mind the conversations, feelings and laughter. Whether close to home or far afield, all places have left their imprint on me. I am changed from the visits and understand better myself and the world in which I live. I find travelling exciting, but it is also difficult to leave home and its comforts. It is an interesting mixture of feelings.

I have enjoyed many places I've visited and would happily return to them for another visit. Yet, the list of places I wish to visit is lengthy. What entices me? I love history and find historical and cultural sites very appealing. Walking in the footsteps of others brings visceral feelings of amazement and wonder -- whether they were famous or unknown persons. The kitchens that cooked for Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn, the hotel where the Beatles stayed on their first trip to the US, the battlefield where the British defeated the French for the beginning of a new nation. So many wonderful pieces of history that become more real for me.

As the season changes, the wanderlust seems to grow, though this could be due to an urge to avoid the frenetic aspects  of the beginning of term. <smile> Settling on a song for today brought many snippets of lyrics to mind. This song seemed best for the thoughts of today, though, travel as a metaphor for life and travel for personal growth. Enjoy!

Life is a Highway -- Tom Cochrane

Day 235 -- summer slipping away

I discovered today that some of the melancholy surrounding me may stem from the fact that our summer is nearing an end. In 10 days classes begin for the Fall term. I feel like I am just getting into the summer mode and it is time to shop for fall and winter clothing items. The days and evenings have been cooler this past week. Even the warmer days predicted for the coming week will have that 'last hurrah' feel to them. That doesn't make them any less summer-like; rather it is the wistfulness of seeing something end.

I'm not sure that the end of winter brings with it the same feelings, even for those who love winter. There are more barriers to living with cold weather -- roads, weather and extra clothing needed -- than we experience in summer, it seems. When the daylight hours are longer, we try to pack every minute with the fun things one does in warmer weather. Researchers have found that we get less sleep in the summer months due to the longer days -- it is still light out so going to bed at a sensible time seems more difficult. This is the time of year that I try to do day trips or afternoon drives -- things that just don't fit during the academic terms. It gives one a sense of freedom of sorts -- work and all that it brings is still there, but the time seems a bit more flexible. 

The song I chose for today carries that feeling of happy memories mixed with resignation and that disconcerting feeling that something is slipping through your fingers. Enjoy!

All Summer Long -- The Beach Boys

Day 234 -- warranty weirdness

Well, what can I say? Today I awoke on time, but have been tired all day long. I ran a few errands and got some groceries. It is a grey and rainy day, but not totally unpleasant. The odd part began when I returned home to discover that I didn't get a couple major items that had been on the grocery list and one more time I received an 'unknown number'  from the same number. This number has shown up daily since mid-July, generally when I am at work. I answered a few times and only got dead air. I tried a reverse directory check and it is not available. I did a redial and the number isn't available in my calling area. When they called at supper for the third time today, I answered, saying hello and wondering out loud if they'd actually come on the line. They did. It seems they are calling on behalf of the store where I bought my vacuum almost a year ago and wanted to sell me extended warranty coverage for the warranty that will expire soon. I asked that they not call me again, then called the store and the national customer service numbers to ask for an explanation why the 5 year warranty will expire after 12 months. The answer made no sense, so I'm heading back to the store tomorrow to have them figure this out and speak with the company. The woman who answered was the person who books service calls -- so not the person that I needed to speak to. I read to her from my owner's manual and she sounded like she was sneering at me and even told me to check the definition of exceptional warranty with google!  I told her I did understand the concept but that this is NOT what the manual states. Now the company had just gone through a changeover from a 1-year to a 5-year warranty last summer, so I'm expecting that I got stuck in the midst of this turnover. This is what needs to be clarified from inside the company not by me, hence my planned trip to the sales person tomorrow..

So -- the end of a wonderful week seemed tainted a bit by the ineptitude of a major appliance retailer. I did decide that this was silly -- for me to let this cloud the positive. Frustrating, yes, but not worth obsessing over. It is interesting how a word or look from someone else can change the way we see the rest of the day. By the same token, that means that my grumpiness can adversely affect someone else's day. I try to keep this in mind when interacting with others, though some days this is more difficult, like when tired or ill -- Not an excuse, but a reason. Also, when making a complaint, the person hearing it has little ability to change the system, even when constructive points are made with the complaint, as I did today. I have little faith that such ideas ever make it to the decision makers, but at least I have provided positive input.

Today the song is an oldie. I've always enjoyed the tempo and melody  The band name seemed to fit my feelings for part of the day. <smile> Enjoy!

Nights in White Satin -- Moody Blues

Day 233 -- home and travels

Today was the last day with my visiting family members. We drove through a few new areas down wonderful secondary roads. The scenery was filled with fog over the water, luscious green woods, red mud of tidal river beds and blue skies that turned to dark menacing clouds. When they dropped me off at the house and headed off, I had mixed emotions. Happiness was upper-most as we had an amazing visit and explored some great places, though this was tinged with that bit of sadness that comes both when something enjoyable ends and  when we are separated from family members.

Living on the eastern coast of North America friends and family from the prairies tend not to visit too often. It is a long trip and flights can be expensive. So, when someone arrives, it is a major event for me. I love sharing special places I've found and discover new ones with the visitors. There is no shortage of places to see and things to do in this region. The rural nature of the area is a drawing card as many family and friends grew up in smaller towns or cities, so this can remind us of earlier days. Visiting places generally requires some travel and that allows time to sit together and visit -- sharing stories and reminiscing. This week brought some great family stories and many laughs from situations we encountered.

Today's song reminds me our touring today and the anticipation of heading home. Enjoy!

Take me Home, Country Roads -- John Denver and Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

Day 232 -- beachcombing

Today was sunny and almost hot -- brilliant blue sky with wispy clouds. We spent the day exploring more of the rural areas. We met a wonderful artist who runs an art store with works by many other artists as well as his own. He's related to a friend of mine so it was fun to meet him for the first time in the small quaint village. We drove down rural roads, found a lighthouse, and rode a small ferry. When walking a beach looking for seaglass and interesting rocks, we spotted a group of seals riding the waves as the tide came in.  It was gorgeous with the sun glinting off the waves and the seals.

The sound of the ocean is so relaxing. I love the rushing of the waves. It is so different from the lapping of waves on a lake shore. I found much of the background noise in my head was washed away elsewhere while I was walking the beach in the small cove. Totally amazing. It is difficult to imagine this same calming water can turn into an angry green mass during a storm. This may be somewhat like each of us as we may be calming influences and can turn into tempests when anger flares. The calming seas are not still waters, so a calming influence can be found in the midst of activity. It is a state of mind -- serenity of sorts. Finding that place may be difficult and holding onto it even moreso. It is something that I do want to have more of in my days, though.

Today's song is about wanting to stand out and improve. Enjoy!

Beacause we can -- Bon Jovi

Day 231 -- enjoying a day of fun

Today we wandered about looking at scenery, tides, lookout points and fishing villages. It was a fun day of exploring and visiting. We met others doing the tourist thing -- even seeing the same people at more than one of our stops. This is the time of year many tourists pass through the area from across Canada, the US and Europe. It is fun to talk to them about their home towns and suggest activities and sites to visit here.

I find it interesting that people from very different backgrounds can find common ground at a site of mutual interest, whether geological, historical or entertainment. For a few minutes the barriers drop and we speak to each other as friends -- human to human -- and not simply ignore others or look at people with suspicion or disdain.  It would be positive if we could experience this feeling of oneness more often and not take ourselves too seriously.

Today I chose an older song from a newer recording with a unique pairing on this duet. Enjoy!

Are you having any fun? -- Tony Bennett with Elvis Costello (from Letterman appearance)

Day 230 -- food and wine excursions

Today we did a winery tour and found some amazing locally made wines -- reds, whites, sparklings, roses. It rained in the afternoon -- like downpour heavy rain. We ate lunch outside and had a wonderful supper -- both menus stressing seafood. Later, we walked in the vineyards after dark with the pathway lit by candle lanterns. That was magical.

I bought 2 or 3 things for the home cellar as did my cousins. Something to consume later to remind us of this wonderful day. Will do some exploring around tomorrow and the weather sounds like it might improve and be less cloudy and wet <smile>.

There are a few songs that fit with events of the day and I chose one from a  favourite singer/songwriter of mine that we haven't heard from for a while.  Enjoy!

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant -- Billy Joel

Day 229 -- family visits

Today two cousins are visiting around my maritime home. We plan to do some day tripping along with a lot of our catching up. It has been 2 years since we saw each other, though that was at a family wedding so there were many people to visit with there. I'm looking forward to time spent strengthening bridges within our generation of the family. I'm sure our grandparents and parents are smiling somewhere today.

So, a short blog entry today, since tomorrow begins early. I'm feeling many of the sentiments expressed in today's song choice. <smile>  Enjoy!

Family Reunion -- The O'Jays

Day 228 -- What age are you?

I watched a movie today that made me laugh and think more about the aging process. Quartet is an amazing movie about a retirement home for classical artists -- opera singers, symphony musicians and conductors. I loved the music from recordings and from the characters in the movie. The story encompasses concepts of being the same person but in an older body and that love and sex continue despite being older. When the credits began rolling, I was surprised to see that many of the actors were retired from the opera, symphony or theatre. Photos of them now and before retirement were included along with a couple lines of where they played and when. This made me smile even more. It seemed to fit the main theme of aging adults not being useless but still possessing the gifts they'd had as younger adults -- and using those gifts -- in this case in an annual fund raising gala for the retirement home as well as acting in this movie..

Like most of us, I do think of aging on occasion, but generally tend to think of myself as me. I have to pause to think of my age when asked -- I just don't tend to think about the number because it is just that, a number. To me, age is a state of mind and getting old is more the way we approach the world than our actual age. If aging gracefully means having to act in a way that societal prejudices dictate for older adults, count me out. When instructing a course on aging last winter, I noted with the class that each of us was an aging adult. There were shocked looks on a couple faces when they realized what the alternative involved. The course content was fun to deliver and I am now thinking of ways to present some of the concepts in the next iteration. This movie may be one way to help show that we are who we are regardless of the number of years we've been here.

I used many videos in the course. today I will share one with you that I used in one of the first classes. The song and singers fit perfectly with my musings today. Enjoy!

My Generation -- The Zimmers

(Note:  In the UK walkers are called zimmer frames)

Day 227 -- Finding A Key Wardrobe Article

I finally bit the bullet today and went to try on jeans. The pair I've had for a couple years have little spots of thinning denim around the seams and rivets on the back pockets. I fear that one day when I'm somewhere extremely public, the thinning will turn into an outright hole. I can put something behind the thinning areas to avoid a grim wardrobe malfunction. A small iron-on 'patch' might work better than duct tape, I suspect.

I find shopping for clothing extremely stressful. Generally I know what I want and it can be difficult to find anything that is even close to what I see in my head. So, I walked in to the store (we have two where there are things that fit me but not all are age appropriate). I told the pleasant sales associate that I would like medium to dark wash straight leg but not skinny. I felt like I was ordering from a barista. She knew her stock and gave me 4 or 5 styles to try on and each in 2 sizes where both sizes were available. I tried them all on. I discovered that one of the labels alluded to the ability of the jeans to give you the butt you'd always wanted. It seems this actually relates to the cut of jeans made for a female shape with spandex in the cotton to hug curves.  I still found a couple styles that had a major gap in the back waistband, but then I found 4 styles that actually fit and I liked. So -- I tried them on again and got it down to 2 pairs. Tried these each on and chose one. Turns out today all jeans were 20% off -- some sort of denim-based karma, I guess.

So -- I now have another pair of jeans. I still plan to look for different styles when shopping in the big city later this month <smile>. I just wish everyone had Levis in the style they no longer make -- it would make life easier for this western jean style person. I love my jeans and would live in denim if it were wholly appropriate at the office <g>.

The song for today came to me fairly quickly given my penchant for jeans. Enjoy!

Forever in Blue Jeans -- Neil Diamond

Day 226 -- Juxtaposing Fandom and Fame

I've often pondered the phenomenon of over-the-top fandom. I suspect some aspect of this has been around since -- well --  forever. The explosion of communication technologies coupled with the massive capitalism of the music, film and television industries seem to have led to an explosion of obsessive behaviours. Concerns have been expressed for decades that individuals may find it difficult to separate reality from fantasy. There has been a refusal by many to accept that what we see in televised, print and electronic media is based on profit generation and is often not bound by any semblance of truthfulness. This belief that what the mass media push at viewers and readers accurately reflects the non-mediated world is a fallacy; yet, people -- of all ages -- who spend excessive time with such media have shown increased levels of such beliefs. This has led to the simplistic solution of separating from the media involved, but this is unlikely to change situations. We cannot disconnect with the mass marketing machine. Turn off the TV, but movies, programs and music videos are available elsewhere. Remove the gossip magazines, but this, too, is available elsewhere. If one family manages to shut down the TV or video games or DVD player, children and youth (and adults <smile>) will be exposed to those messages by peers who have seen messages the family has missed. It is somewhat insidious by nature. It reminds me of an old Calvin and Hobbes cartoon that (paraphrasing here) has Calvin realizing he has been playing outside longer than he'd expected and missed a couple of favourite television programs. His concern was that he would now be ignorant of countless cultural references. A major conundrum if there ever were one.

Now, I don't mean that being a fan of a pop star, actor, TV series or author is entirely bad. I have many favourites and have even met some of them as an adult -- and a couple TV stars when I was a kid. Difficulties arise when one believes the character played is the real person. This has to create difficulties with those who are the objects of this attention. To not be seen as a person, but as a character or a fantasy developed by someone, must bring some negative feelings -- that sort of thing that we all pack away in our virtual baggage.

Today I've chosen 2 songs to share. Each speaks to the nature of fame in a market driven entertainment profession. The first is written and sung by a '60s rock musician and shows the trepidation involved with mounting another tour. The second has lyrics written by an actor of stage, screen and television with music composed by a country star. This one is an odd pairing -- the country star sings and the actor speaks the words, but it does work. <smile>  And after all,  it is the words that I feel fit today's topic. Enjoy!

Tender Is -- Peter Tork

Real -- by William Shatner with Brad Paisley

Day 225 -- Small Community Life

I attended a great stage play this evening. It was Under Milkwood, a recitation of Dylan Thomas's picturesque phraseology. It told the story of a day in the life of a small Welsh town with two actors portraying numerous colourful characters. I marvelled at their ability to remember all the words and the names of characters. It kept my attention, though the lyrical nature of the words could lull one to relax but it would then explode with some bizarre story of love, lust, or murderous fantasy. Characters gossiped, drank, and dreamed. It was fascinating.

This made me think of small towns anywhere. I live in one and have visited many others. Gossip is a way of life it seems. Everyone knows everyone else's business or they are related in some way. I've experienced people knowing who I am without me ever meeting them -- that small town coffee shop grapevine at work. The nature of small towns seems to be the same wherever they are located. I've found many positives -- being able to speak to people as I walk around town, knowing the wait staff at restaurants as well as the chefs, and everything is within walking distance. So, it isn't all bad, though having stores where you can buy what you need would be nice especially for clothes or furniture and anonymity would be refreshing at times.

This event brought to mind a number of songs about small towns. I chose this one because I like the lyrics providing the perspective from the town's point of view -- a bit of anthropomorphizing. Enjoy!

I'm a Small Town -- Kenny Chesney

Day 224 - reflection, forgiveness and acceptance

I've watched a couple of movies lately that I truly enjoyed. They were great character studies. One was 'Saving Mr. Banks' -- a story set around an iconic movie but focusing on the need of characters to move on and not be living in the past. The other was a film of interviews called 'The Captains.' The interviewees were Star Trek captains and they were interviewed by the first captain, William Shatner. Don't jump to conclusions on this one <smile>. It asked some hard questions and included actors speaking about their regrets having had a job that took them away from family. They also were able to find peace with being recognized for a singular work rather than as the person and actor. I found these conversations quite touching, though they made me think of the things that I haven't let go from my past, too.

Not an easy thing to do. Letting go can be tortuous. Finding a moment of epiphany is rare. Some things I've come to terms with, others are still hanging around behind a door waiting for me to confront it all again. I'm sure it wants to be set free as much as I'd like to be able to let it fly. <smile> It is an ongoing process that will take time for reflection, growth and moving forward.

The song today was one that came to mind when thinking of the processes of those on film and me. As I said, this isn't easy and this song speaks to the effort involved as well as how we often ignore things until much later. Enjoy!

Against the Wind -- Bob Seger

Day 223 -- another loss with mental health implications

When I signed on tonight, the blog topic for today quickly changed. The death of Robin Williams has left me and many people stunned. He was an amazing actor and comedian. The news that this may have been a suicide is very sad.

Mental health has not been well accepted or understood by society. We see people beginning to speak about mental health and the need for treatment programs to be more accessible. Not only do we need such programs, but we need to work within society to demystify mental illness and rid us of the stigma that sticks to this health issue. Our stories need to change. Many stories we tell from fairy tales onward contain someone with a type of mental illness -- agoraphobia, depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety and panic disorders. These characters are either the comic foil or the scary character. If we could find it in ourselves to admit that we all know someone who has suffered from a mental illness, then we might find our way to speak in an understanding way and call people on their use of unfair stereotypes.

The other point that comes to mind as I begin to process this sad news, concerns the idea that we never know what is going on in someone else's mind. While mostly true, if we are close to someone, we should be able to recognize some of the signs and symptoms of a downward turn -- and maybe even recognize this in ourselves. Helping someone understand that they are not a failure or that they may not be able to deal with this on their own is the beginning to getting people into treatment as early as possible. This one will take a lot of knowledge, attitude and value changes in our society, but this isn't impossible. Remember when it was acceptable to smoke anywhere? We can change as individuals and that changes the world. If anything positive can come from such tragedy, it might be this. (as I am about to publish this -- Wolf Blitzer is saying basically the same thing -- so maybe some talk will occur).

Choosing a single song for today was difficult. Getting the list down to two wasn't much easier. The first song contains a few lines that came to mind while thinking through the mental health aspect of the news story -- how depression is hidden and held secretly. The second song speaks to the internal pain and altered thought processes often seen with depression as one tries to find a way out. While I will say 'Enjoy' I really want to say 'think about it.'

Tears of a Clown -- Smoky Robinson and the Miracles

Hurt -- Johnny Cash

Day 222 -- a visit from apathy and inertia

Well -- this was one of those days described best by apathy or inertia. Granted, there is some rain outside today, but I'm not convinced that has anything to do with the lack of 'get up and go.'  I did complete a couple household tasks and a few things for work and volunteer projects. Yet, the bigger items I'd thought of tackling were put back in the briefcase for another day.

This approach to 'work' today led me to reflect on the bigger picture. The vague feeling of being trapped and not being able to find the way out -- the same route one took to get in -- is a recurring dream theme. This is often related to anxiety when things begin to pile up and the sheer enormity of tasks becomes overwhelming. I've found that I tend to do the things required for my job and volunteer roles -- the things that others depend on me to do, but, I seem to push some of the more intense things that need to be done for me into a closet with a closed door. If I can't see it, it isn't there (I learned that from my cat friends <smile>). Yet, these items do need to be addressed eventually. One must  do more than simply exist. As Kofi Annan has said, "to live is to choose."

Only one song carries the breadth of feeling that my reflections uncovered. It mentions 'voices calling from far away wake you up in the middle of the night" -- those looming tasks and buried thoughts that we all must confront. The lyrics clearly speak to the anxieties of being unable to get out of something that we've gotten ourselves into -- some type of situation or thought process that presents difficulties for extrication. It does some philosophical things well albeit more existential than suits my comfort level. However, the 12-string in this unplugged version is amazing <smile>.  Enjoy!

Hotel California -- The Eagles

Day 221 -- poor customer service practices

I chose to run up to a store for a few grocery items and then a stop at another store for a couple other things. The second stop surprised me when I saw contact lens solution at a price that was $5-6 cheaper than a major grocery chain or a major drugstore chain -- so $13.92 instead of either $19.99 or 18.99. I had a coupon for $2 -- something I rarely use since most things coupons are for are not the brands or even items that I purchase. So -- with the coupon the box of two bottles of solution would be about the cost of a single bottle. Cool. Who doesn't love a bargain?

When I got home, I was reviewing the register tapes as I usually do -- And there will come a day when I start doing this at the store or in the parking lot <smile>. Well -- the register had charged me $15.92 instead of $13.92. Another trip up to the store -- good that I live in a small town <smile>. The Customer Service person was very pleasant. We had to send someone to check the shelf tagging. Then had to call a manager to figure out how to do a refund with a coupon. Then had to call another manager for something else. And one more time calling someone else for an over-ride. I wasn't in a hurry so it was fine and there was no one in line behind me on a Saturday night. The clerk explained to me that they would refund what I'd paid and then resell the box to me at the shelf price. I may have gasped or at least gaped. I managed to ask about the scanning code of practice -- a piece of national legislation. I was told that if I asked  they would provide a product for free up to $10, but the customer has to ask. I have never encountered such a sneaky company policy that seems to fly in the face of the spirit of the Code, and I said so. Not that the clerk could do much other than mention it to their manager. So -- in the end, I paid $1.92 for the box. When things have been way off at other stores, I have received things for free even without asking. So, I'm still a bit flummoxed by this multi-national's practice of trying to make more money than they should. I'm tempted to go up to see if the thing scans correctly next week -- to see if they really quickly rectified the discrepancy between the shelf and the cash desk prices. I'm not convinced that they will do anything -- and would they give me the next box for the same price as today when it again was their error? Frustrating being a consumer some days.

To point out the greed in the practice of trying to fleece customers, I've chosen a song that describes the evils of money. Enjoy!

Money -- Pink Floyd

Day 220 -- Work, Rain and Vaca

Much of the 'to do' list was left on the desk when today was done. It will be waiting when I return from vacation time. I managed to get the bulk of several larger projects completed in preparation for fall classes. There are still a couple days work needed to get the course materials arranged on the shelves, but there is time during the first week of classes to get to that. The larger task that didn't get much attention was the culling of files in two file drawers.  That, too, will wait until my return. So -- I've managed to let a few things go -- for now <smile>.

While gathering boxes for some materials, I got caught in a downpour of a thunder storm. We did get a fair amount of rain, but really need a softer steady rain for a day to help gardens, fields and forests become less crunchy. When I got back to my office, I felt it was a shame that I hadn't ever thought to store a bath towel there. <g>. My jeans were wet to the knees and sandals were soaked. I dried off the boxes and my feet with paper towel and commenced to fill the boxes with former course materials for storage. When I left for home I felt calmer than earlier in the day. Definitely a good thing <smile>.

Only one song kept running through my head all day. I even used the title with a few people, always followed by laughter. I chose not to burden them with my a capella singing and just said the phrase with feeling. <g> There are many versions, but I settled on this one -- a bit more up tempo than the original. Enjoy!

See you in September -- Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons

Day 219 -- are we fooling ourselves or buying into a myth?

I had three meetings today to deal with three different issues of business -- research, program admin and professional practice. Each went well and I did enjoy the tasks and discussions involved. It did mean that little else on that infamous 'to do' list other than the meetings occurred. It does appear that some of vacation will involve working from home, again. This happens each year, but moreso in the past couple of years for various work reasons. Not the end of the world, but a bit disappointing.

So why does this keep happening? There may be more work than fits the available non-sleeping hours, but why do I not recognize that? Why am I continually expecting something else to occur? This reminds me of the definition of insanity being doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results <smile>. Now much of my research interest lies in the impact of mass media on our daily lives -- not just what foods we choose, but the attitudes, beliefs and values instilled in us by marketing gurus. Even when one knows the techniques used to play with our psyches, one is not immune. If it were only so. I feel that some of my expectations of fitting everything into a usual work day lie in the myth of being able to 'do it all'. This plays out with both men and women, but the twists to this for women are particularly sad. We are led to believe that women can run a household, hold down an executive position and be a  wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend -- and complete all roles to perfection. If I've seen one ray of hope as an educator, it is that the young women in classes are not prepared to give up everything for a job -- they are adamant that there will be a work-life balance. We never talked about such things at their age. I do hope they find a way to balance things better than the baby boomers have been able to do.

So -- the song for today has two lines that spoke to me. One -- "I'll get up and do it again" reflects the sameness and routine of it all and Two -- ""the ads take aim and lay their claim" notes that it is far from an internally produced issue. This live version of the song has several wonderful artists on stage together. Enjoy!

The Pretender -- Jackson Browne with Crosby, Stills and Nash

Day 218 -- A stressful start to the day

This morning began abruptly. From a sound sleep, I woke thinking it must be time to get up soon. Half asleep still, I looked at the TV -- my alarm with the timer set feature -- and saw a little green light in the top right corner of the screen. This is not common. I hunted for my glasses and they weren't on the bedside table, so I got up and moved closer to the screen only to see that the green light was the word 'line'. Now I was fully awake. This meant the alarm did go off -- as in the TV did come on, but was set to the external input 'channel' rather than the news I usually awake to. I quickly checked the time and the screen told me it was 9:45 AM!! I'm sure I said something inappropriate and rushed to wash my face and get dressed. I was expecting a delivery at 10 AM and didn't want to greet strangers in my pjs. I moved on to making breakfast and as I began to eat -- it was now 10:10 AM -- I wondered why there had been no phone call telling me the truck was on its way to the house. I checked the schedule I keep in my briefcase -- the delivery was scheduled for 10 AM on Thursday -- today is only Wednesday. <sigh>. I slowed my pace slightly but not too much as I had a meeting at 11 AM in the office.

The remainder of the day seemed a bit off kilter. I hit all the meetings and even managed to make some sense when I spoke and then worked on course prep for September. I still felt like I had forgotten something or something was looming outside my peripheral vision -- just waiting for me to notice. To the best of my knowledge, I have not forgotten anything important, just had a very rough start to the day that messed with the usual rhythms. I have reset the alarm for tomorrow to ensure that I am up much more than 15 minutes before the delivery AND that the channel is set correctly along with the time. Hoping for a smoother day.

A couple songs rattled around in my head today, but only one fits the feeling of the day best. The video is a bit out of sync for this one, but the lyrics tell of a stressful waking. I like the use of the longer phrasing that makes it seem like the singers may run out of breath -- it adds to the anxiety of the situation. Enjoy!

Wake up Little Suzie -- The Everly Brothers

Day 217 - learning new tricks

Felt like I was spinning in circles today. Lots of work to do so I can leave things behind for a short vacation. Yet the things on my list didn't seem to get done as I worked on things for others. Now, those other things were things I'd have to do eventually, but they fell onto the desk today not next month <smile>.

Maybe my problems lie in my 'to do' list. I have things that I want to complete on that list. Other things are on my larger task radar, but not on the list for this week. Seeing these tasks as intrusions on my list seems to be my difficulty. I often feel like I become unfocused and run about like a kitten from one shiny thing to the next, never focussing on what I had intended to do. There are a few things I could reflect on to try to improve similar situations. If something can wait until tomorrow when it arrives unannounced, I should move it to the list for tomorrow and work at not feeling pressured to deal with the new item as soon as it arrives.  Also, if something must be completed now that was not on my list for the day, I should add it to the list. Then when I see the list at the end of the day, I'll have some things checked off instead of seeing the list as an indication that I didn't get to anything I needed to do. Wow -- neither of this will be easy. Most things on that list are 'me' centred tasks rather than externally centred tasks. Learning to see things in a more positive way than 'intrusions' will take a lot of work.

So -- a song for this? Luckily, a friend shared a wonderful song yesterday that I thought of again this evening. The singer-songwriter is a great young talent from the UK. The irreverent title makes me smile and I liked the positive thought that an old dog may still learn new tricks <grin>. Enjoy!

Two Fingers -- Jake Bugg

Day 216 -- a busy news day

Well -- I've been away from the news for a day and the world officially entered the handbasket. There's an earthquake, more landslides, two hurricanes (Atlantic and Pacific), still no rain in all the drought-ridden areas, major thunderstorms, new ebola cases and then I stopped listening. There is a potential cease-fire on the table, so that is better news. Amazing that so much happened in about 36 hours. This may be an argument for obtaining a smart phone, but I expect there are still other ways to get the news that I'd prefer.

Most of the news items seem to be acts of nature. But I found myself asking which of these had a human aspect to them -- over-development in hilly regions, greenhouse gas emissions, and the deadly duo of ego and greed. Yet, there were stories of humans working to find survivors, treat the wounded or ill, and bring feuding sides together. It appears that there is hope as not all humans are only out for number one. As I reflected on this latter observation, I began to feel less stressed. The nasty news has still happened, but people are pulling together to help those in the midst of the messes.

The selection for today is an oldie, but one that I heard in my head as I realized that so much had occurred since I'd last paid attention. The original from the 1960s was the one that ran through my head. Then I thought of the newer version that includes more recent issues than 50 years earlier and balances the negative with positive attitudes more so than the original version. That is the version I settled on today. Enjoy!

Eve of Destruction 2012 -- Barry McGuire

Day 215 -- a semi-lazy Sunday

Another Sunday almost over -- at least this one is in the middle of a long weekend. I've spent today sorting through work and research papers and editing slides for a new-to-me course I'm teaching in September. I still felt that I was not fully engaged with the work at hand, which made things feel like they were dragging on and on and on. Outside the day was cooler but with the humidity, it still felt 30C or more. There was a mix of sun and cloud and the  rain that was promised never materialized. The forecast for rain always seems to be two days away and we're madly chasing that hoping to ease the extreme dryness and salvage a few garden plants.

So -- why is it that on weekends I feel 'lazy' when doing some smaller tasks around the house or for the office? I'm still doing less than I'd do on a regular work day. Doing this now means that I don't have to do it when I'm on vacation. Yet, I still feel like I can't get out of first gear <smile>. Maybe there is a part of me that resents working on the weekends, especially in the summer when there are fewer student projects to be grading or editing. I do want to get these fall 'housekeeping' tasks out of the way and have things ready to go for the first couple or three weeks of term. This would let me get to the research writing that I so want to finish. Parts of this writing often get done during vacation -- that is when my brain has some time to chill and work out some of the more difficult passages. I try to do several things at home that require some physical input but little brain input. This allows the brain to bring forward some of those back-burner issues. I guess this is like polishing silver for Golda Meir, who said when there was something that needed to be thought through, she would settle on that chore.

Today's song is a silly little ditty but it made me smile when I thought of it. Enjoy!

Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon -- Queen

Day 214 -- farmers' markets and food trucks

Saturday -- the day when farmers' markets across the country open to sell wonderful locally grown and prepared foods. In most areas of Canada, these are not open year around due to the shorter growing season. We are now at the peak of fresh produce at the markets, which is always an exciting time. Over the next month or so here we will see blueberries, tomatoes, corn and root vegetables added to the beans, peas, salad greens and other yummy treats.

Today our local wood-fired pizza kiosk will be open -- usually only open on Friday downtown and Saturday at the market, this week they were downtown Thursday and Saturday evenings. Pizzas are made with organic and local ingredients, so the summer toppings have been quite fun to discover. This version of a food truck and the farmers' market show the vitality of the local food systems. The ability for businesses to thrive is based on the growing interest in fresh, local food products. Knowing who grew the food puts us back in touch with agriculture and all that entails, while giving a sense of trust in the food. Many growers represent the second or third generation in the business -- the family farm. These alternative marketing systems provide an economic base for local producers who operate small and micro-enterprises -- operations that would not be able to supply an adequate amount of product to meet the demands of retail.

Today's song highlights the family farm through generations. Enjoy!

Dirt -- Florida Georgia Line

Day 213 -- can disease be prevented?

On Friday I was preparing a section for a fall course. This dealt with personal behaviours that might enhance or detract from health and well-being. I continue to struggle with the use of the term "disease prevention." Generally this is used in relation to chronic diseases such as heart disease, some cancers, osteoporosis and may even include obesity -- chronic relates to the long term development of these conditions rather than the quick onset of an infectious disease such as influenza. Can we truly prevent disease?  Even a vaccine is not a 100% guarantee against an infectious disease. So -- phrases such as 'chronic disease prevention' might better be termed 'chronic disease risk reduction.' This will be a discussion with the class in early September. I want them to know why I choose to use terminology that is different than the text books and practice environments. To me, words carry meaning and prevention to me means that we can stop something from happening. As health professionals, we may want to do this, but in reality we can't.

Perhaps the reason for my distress with this terminology lies in the 'black-white' dichotomized world such phrases represent. Some people call my concern 'being picky' or arguing over semantics,  but to me it is the need to be correct. As health professionals do we not have an ethical responsibility to be truthful with people? This type of language also implies that there may be a simple way to stop disease. Again, this does not occur in reality. Common health wisdom recommends that people choose not to smoke, eat a balanced diet, limit alcohol, sodium, and sugar intake and so on. Each of these behaviours does not stand on it's own -- they are intricately intertwined in a complex web of personality, economics, culture, health status, physical activity, social norms, policy, and many other factors -- determinants of health.  So -- back to the question, does 'disease risk reduction' better reflect what people are working towards?

The song that came to mind while pondering this yesterday may be one that I use in class to help students to see the inter-related nature of health behaviours in a bit of fun way. The lyrics definitely speak to this. Enjoy!

I only smoke when I drink --Small Town Pistols