Day 3 - 281 -- Needing to Talk

Most of the past two weeks has been filled with new personal challenges each day. One or two of these over a few weeks would be manageable, but 7 or 8 seems a bit excessive. Being in the middle of the fall term, there is little time or energy to devote to things other than work. The past two weeks have required me to focus on the personal much more than work -- it can happen, but can affect the calendar of events that have to happen at specific times for both home and work.

The feelings of anxiety that would be manageable with one external insult at a time, have gone over the top. Coping mechanisms tend not to work when things get to the overwhelmed stage. Breathing can help -- deep breaths that inhale AND exhale fully. Amazingly, this can be difficult to remember to do. Going for a walk can help. I find that I breathe better when walking. I've been for two walks in the past 3 days. Today it was a longer walk than usual and with my iPod. The need to talk to people who are no longer reachable by phone has been particularly acute these days. Walking helped me to phrase what I needed to say. Not having someone to answer the questions or say something that might calm me or make me laugh made the one-sided conversation somewhat less satisfying, Yet, thinking through the situations did help a bit. There are few days when I don't think of something I'd like to tell someone who has passed or feel that I just need to hear their voice. Times of heightened anxiety from real and perceived threats increases the need to speak with them. 

A song that came to mind today says all of this much more eloquently. The melody is hauntingly beautiful and the singer has an amazing voice. The lyrics also note that grief can last for a long time. That the singer and the composer were once married is an interesting sidebar. Enjoy! 

Wishing you were somehow here again -- Sarah Brightman