Sunday, 28 August 2016

Day 3 - 241 -- Encountering Anger

Working through the 'must do' list today, I managed to get a lot done. Still a whack of things to do in a couple of days, but things are getting ticked off that infamous list. The draft of one paper was sent off to co-presenters. It will likely change more as I practice over the next week -- seems things change up until a couple days before a talk. It does seem to flow better with the tweaking, which makes me feel less stress from that corner.

While working on another item from the list, I remembered something else that needed to be added to it. Well -- the list had gone into hiding. I looked in the two places where is should be, but to no avail. I then looked in two places where it shouldn't be -- still no luck. At that point, I was just frustrated with myself for managing to misplace this valued item. Frustration quickly turned into rage -- like not any wishy washy anger, but full on horrible rage. I'll admit to creating some blue air with a shouted phrase or two and I even stamped my feet. I can't remember when that happened last -- like years ago maybe. Shouting does happen some days, but stamping my feet? Interestingly, that physical movement seemed to help calm things. It felt a little petulant, but doing something physical can help to move through anger. Running, walking, or stamping feet -- all expend that energy that threatens to burst out of one's chest like something from 'Alien.'  Just carrying anger around can do damage to one's psyche and body. Finding a way to get it out seems helpful. Now, I'm not saying that shouting and stamping your feet is a socially acceptable way to deal with this <smile>. Being at home, I could do that. If I was out in the big world, I'd have to turn away and go for a walk. When that can't be done right away, the anger can get carried around for a while. I guess this means finding another way to deal with things in the interim. Breathing would help here, I'm sure.

A line from a song came to mind as I reflected on the event (surprise!). Working to avoid such episodes, even if years go by in between them, is the goal. These lyrics provide a wish for such burdens to be bypassed. Enjoy!

May You Never -- Eric Clapton


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