Day 4 - 65 -- Angry Outbursts

Boy, has it been a Monday. I slept poorly with the wind noise and then the early morning plows. I was up just after 6 AM and found 1-2 inches of snow on the ground I'd shoveled yesterday. There wasn't enough time to move it this morning, so I left it for evening. It was light and fluffy and would take maybe 30 - 45 minutes to move it all from the paths made yesterday and then clear right behind the car. I did drive, though, since the end of the drive wasn't nearly as filled in by street and sidewalk plows as yesterday. I do have a 4WD with good ground clearance and today was a day to use this <smile>. I was tired all day. Monday is a day with three classes and other meetings. I got through it all, but was tired and not feeling fully coherent by the end of the afternoon. So, I headed home. I was hungry and thought I could move the snow as supper heated. When I arrived home the driveway had huge tire tracks heading all the way into the house. The fellow that has cleared my driveway after big snows, had driven over the snow and packed it solid as well as carved out a huge part of the upper bank that holds trees and the neighbours yard from sliding into my yard. I felt so angry, as I had not asked that he come to move what was only about 2 inches of snow. What he left on the pile of snow from the last big storm was not close to a full bucket. I tried to move the packed snow so it wouldn't turn to solid ice with the rain coming mid-week. I called the company and left a message to call me and then went for a walk to get some milk, take the garbage to the curb and shovel what I could around the house. That helped a bit. The company owner called and then came by to help with the shoveling -- something I did not expect, but found to be a wonderful gesture. We had a long talk about all sorts of things, as we often do. He was my gift today to help me get back on an even keel.

Anger can be damaging internally and if directed outward as it often is, it can be explosive and damaging to those around you. I've found it arriving out of nowhere recently. Very small items that should not create much frustration seem to become huge events to me. I'd like to understand where this emanates from and how to manage this. For now, I'm sitting with chai and a purring cat -- both are quite soothing. <smile>

One song came to mind that deals with anger from some injustice visited upon the songwriter. A few of the lines seem perfect for how I've felt for the past few days, just without the specific focal point that led to the lyrics. The melody and phrasing suit the anger found in the lyrics in the ebb and flow often experienced in such situations. Enjoy!

Not Ready to Make Nice -- Dixie Chicks