Day 6 - 302 -- Another Journey

I've been pondering loss and grief lately. What have I learned from my many experiences? Grief is never the same. This makes sense since each loss is different. So, we can't expect to know the path we will take this time. On the surface, grieving may look easy. It isn't. It is hard work. Without that work, we can get stuck and the grief dwells inside us poking at us until we acknowledge it and work to move through it. We can't just shove the feelings down deep inside and expect that it is all over. They will escape and create greater difficulties than that early pain. Yes, pain is involved. This is a journey of self discovery; who are we without that which we have lost. Our identity is closely tied to the process.

Grief brings many symptoms -- tears (lots of these), inability to focus, anxiousness, lack of restful sleep, different eating habits, physical pains, and so many more. Recognizing these as part of the larger issue of grief can help us manage. The symptoms will change with time -- be either more or less evident or be altogether different. Embracing these aspects of grieving can be kinder to ourselves than feeling weak. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. There will be times when getting help from others will be the best thing ever. We may need to ignore some advice that comes our way. Hearing others tell us not to 'wallow in it' or what it is we should be doing or feeling is just not helpful. By the same token, when people say we will be fine because we are strong, while likely coming from a place that is trying to help, it can shut down our ability to ask for help. The best advice I ever got was to be kind to myself.

Learning to go with the flow of grief can show us much about who we still are and how that person is changing with the loss. An amazing quotation from the ancient Greek playwright, Aeschylus,  outlines this life process much more eloquently with major metaphor.
       "And even in our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, And in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God."

The song for today describes the iterative nature of the grief journeys. I've loved these poetic lyrics since I first heard them many years ago. Enjoy!

Long and Winding Road -- The Beatles

Day 6 - 301 -- How did we get here?

When did we become that generation? The one where it is our cohort that is leaving this realm. All I know is that it has begun, seemingly appearing without warning. Until recently, it has been mainly older generations, but the natural flow has shifted. People my age are dealing with all manner of chronic illnesses that lead to disability or early departures.

Perhaps I don't think of myself as somewhere beyond middle age. I don't think that I'm getting older, but then I see a photo of myself and have to pause. Mirrors don't tell us what others see. Photos do. I feel the same as I did some years back, but there are physical changes that have taken residence -- without asking permission, I might add. More invaders than guests in my mind. I still feel like me, then something slaps me upside the head to try to force me to see things differently. I have chosen to be in control and not let outside forces become me. They are they and I am me. <smile>

One thing that we have that previous generations didn't is the ability to communicate -- in real time with many people from all over the globe. This can be a video chat, typed chat or and audio that goes beyond the conference call. Sharing daily life events with others is so much easier that having to write letters and wait weeks between messages or the shorter phone calls that occurred less often due to the prohibitive costs. This allows us the privilege of caring and supporting in sad times and celebrating the good times. Since we are creating those electronic supports, we can make them be what we need them to be -- in hopes that others will follow suit behind us. A quote from one of my favourite media theorists, stated, "Post-leterate man's electronic media contract the world to a village or tribe where everything happens to everyone at the same time; everyone knows about, and therefore participates in, everything this is happening the minute it happens. Television give this quality of simultaneity to events in the global village."  When Marshall McLuhan wrote this in 1960 -- yes almost 60 years ago -- electronics as we now know them did not exist. How cool is that? He spoke of surfing the electronic skim as well as coining the phrase 'global village.' A true visionary.

Only one song kept coming back to my mind as I've been marinating in this and other similar thoughts of late. The lyrics carry some of that push back I've adopted <smirk>. Enjoy!

My Generation -- The Who

Day 6 - 300 -- Exit of an Amazing Woman

[this is a day late -- needed time to think through this one]

Last night an amazing soul left this world. For 25 years we have been in daily contact through various communication platforms beginning with the old Newsgroups. This woman was a force of nature, though gentle and caring even when telling it like it is. The number of people she influenced on these platforms and throughout her career and life is too huge to count. For me, she helped me to work through difficulties I had when designing early web sites and pages -- before things became interactive in any major way and when all coding was done by hand. She would calmly troubleshoot for me and numerous others when our computer setups needed something extra downloaded to allow a stable connection to our group chatroom.

She was an amazing organizer earning her the title 'cybrarian' for an early listserv. Her sense of humour was amazing. I remember laughing whenever we were together at music concerts and events or in online discussions. She smiled and laughed a lot and shared her quirky humour. I remember her teaching me the hand signs to a song while we were at a concert. That was a memorable one that I have dubbed the Great Flood of Cleveland due to the huge thunderstorm (short lived) that began right as the concert began. We were soaking wet, but had such a great time. Earlier in the day, we'd become the centre of attention in front of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as we posed for a large group photo complete with props. We are on many home videos and vacation pics from people who assumed we must be some famous group. I've laughed about that day often. That whole roadtrip -- my first -- was with many others that I still see on social media daily. This group became a family  and today we are missing a loved member of that family.

This courageous woman fought stage 4 breast cancer for 10 years. Neither of those numbers is a typo. Even with discomfort and pain left behind by various chemo treatments, she lived life to the fullest and tenaciously held on to the very end. Several people have noted that she would have met those on the other side with a list and plan to reorganize the place <smile>. I'd like to think of her sitting with a friend of hers who passed earlier this year. Laughter and music will definitely be involved.

Two songs came to mind today as I have been learning to grasp this new reality -- not fully a success, though. The first song has a title that reflects my feelings -- and those voiced by so many others today. The second is a wonderfully metaphorical lyric that recognizes that she will always be with us through memories and stories that we tell to others so that her life is now part of those who knew her and those who are reading about her for the first time. Enjoy!

 Hole in the World -- The Eagles


Tapioca Tundra -- The Monkees

Day 6 - 299 -- Curmudgeon?

Laundry was finished today -- YAY!  I still need to get out the winter clothes and freshen them, but there will be other days for that. <smile> Bits of the cleaning on the bit 'to do' list were done. Some of the less frequent tasks will happen in the coming days, too. What did get done was setting up the schedule for things that need doing in the coming week. The most important will be at the beginning of the week. I chose to stream reruns of a favourite show in the background while working around the house today, as there still seems to be little of interest on the channels. Perhaps this is because the horror genre and Halloween specials hold little interest for me. The Food Network is on free preview this month and all that seems to be on the schedule are baking competition shows with Halloween cake bakes. How different are all of these anyway? After one episode, I was done.

Perhaps I'm getting more curmudgeonly as time goes on <smile>. I do recognize that I am not the target audience for many genres, programs and advertisements. Some of this is age-related, but not all of it is accounted for by that one reason. A friend told me once that I was too logical <grin>. Who me? That may be why I find some broad- and narrow-casting to be such drivel. Much plays to a non-thinking audience -- well not thinking critically, at least. Don't get me wrong, I do find entertainment in television programs and movies. I suppose I am picky about the type of shows I choose -- which tend to rely on my mood on any given day.

Time to get down off my soapbox. <smile> I will change the tune for the next blog and quit my complaining. <smile>  The song today speaks to getting stuck in a routine and needing to move on. The melody and rhythm are repetitive in places that emphasize the sameness of it all. Enjoy!

Turn the Page -- Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band

Day 6 - 298 -- Sad State of Television

This has been a fall day. Temperatures were much cooler than past days with full cloud and showers. Happily, my work today was all inside work. Laundry and some housekeeping duties happened. I spent time making a big pot of stew with dumplings. It was perfect for this cooler day -- a very yummy supper.

Again today I asked the air, "How can there be nothing worth watching when there are a couple of hundred channels" (not counting the other 200 that are repeated due to HD and non-HD availability).  The same movies have been on the movie channels for over a week. Even reruns of shows I liked would be doable, but none were on. Then there are multiple channels all in a row with the same sports game showing. Why for heaven's sake? I recall reading a book that described 24 hours of broadcasting on 100 channels. It came to the same conclusion -- all the way back in the mid-1990s. I do have access to streaming shows and movies, but still asked why I couldn't find something on the regular broadcast, re-broadcast and repeat ad infinitum channels. I'm not sure how these channels survive with less traffic and advertising income likely. Interesting.

The selection today speaks to the control the television can have on viewers. This is something I've studies for years, so it isn't just a song from the songwriter's imagination. Enjoy!

TVC-15 -- David Bowie

Day 6 - 297 -- Tackling Difficult Tasks

Today was a busy day. The sun was less intense than previous days with major cloud appearing into the night. I got two major tasks begun today. The yard tree care that needed attention after Dorian and another task got through step one or even one-and-one-half. Two people encountered were very helpful and one may be instrumental in completing both activities! Too cool. So -- good news on those fronts. Now to tackle the next two biggies -- much of which is out of my hands at present. So we wait.

Change brings anxiety and each of these four tasks will bring change. Anxiety can be part of working through a change. Much as I'd like to be a flexible, go-with-the-flow person, I do like routine -- learned that from the cats in my life maybe <smile>. It feels safe and secure to know what will occur next. It does offer a false sense of control, though. Weather, health, flat tire or power outage and all the 'plans' (routines) run through your fingers. Time flies by as we are stuck in a routine that may not get us to the many things we want to do that need that time -- or we may be just in long-term avoidance mode. Either way, it takes effort to move out of comfort and complacency and into active mode.

Lyrics of a song cover the ideas of time passing by and how we may miss time to do important things. I love the melody and harmony of this song. Enjoy!

Slipping through my Fingers -- ABBA

Day 6 - 296 -- Sunshine and Disappointment

I've said this a few times over the past two weeks, but what a gorgeous day! After the rain, wind and thunder of yesterday, today was filled with clear blue skies and temperatures into the high teens. There really won't be many of these in this calendar year. The writing meeting went well, too. Lots to do, but it is exciting. Plans were made to move some yard work forward, which has taken more time than I'd expected.

While trying to get things wound down for the evening, it seems neighbours are winding up -- volume and all. I find this tiring as it occurs several times a week. Earplugs only block so much and sadly that isn't enough. LOUD is an understatement here and it seems to be the same song played every 10 minutes or so. Not the way to end such a great day. Perhaps it is a reminder that ups and downs happen and we aren't in control of what happens when. Or, maybe I'm just tired and trying to make sense of something nonsensical.

Well, a song that will fit this. Hmmm. <smile>  The lyrics are minimal in this dance type song, but the are more up than down <smile>.  It is longer than most posted here, so sit back. Better yet, get up and move. <smile> Enjoy!

Up Down Suite -- Madonna

Day 6 - 295 -- Offline

A major low pressure system has been moving slowly past us today. Wind gusts are to be high until late evening, with rain overnight. The risk of thunderstorms has been forecast. Meteorologists expect this will be the final widespread thunderstorm warning of the year, since a cooler weather pattern is expected to set in soon. I spent the day indoors, doing small tasks, but not accomplishing much of anything.

Thunder started just after typing that first paragraph, so I put all electronics away and read a book instead <smile>. I finished a book. It is the final book in a longer series. Leaving the characters behind felt odd since they'd become like friends or good acquaintances. I've had this happen even with a single book when the author has developed solid three-dimensional characters. These stories provide a great escape into another world of wonder. I've loved books since I was a child and have shelves of ones waiting to be read -- so many more imaginary journeys to take.

The song chosen for today made me think of the fantastic storytelling I've encountered in books. I like the poetic lyrics. enjoy!

Book of Dreams -- Suzanne Vega

Day 6 - 294 -- Sunshine Prevails

Imagine -- yet another sunny autumn day in the Maritimes! The sky had a few small clouds throughout the day, but remained mainly clear. Temperature was pleasant but cooler than yesterday. I walked into campus and had a wonderful visit with a couple of friends and then a productive writing meeting. I noted that when I tell people I have a meeting, their response is to almost cringe. Then I tell them that we laugh a lot at our meetings, and they look at me like I've lost my mind <grin>.  It can be uplifting, for certain. I LOVE this project as does my co-author and friend. <smile>

When walking home in late afternoon sunlight, I realized that in a short while we will be changing time, meaning it will be lighter in the early morning -- when I like to sleep -- and dark by early evening -- when I like to walk. That made me consider taking a longer route home just so I could enjoy the quality and colour of the autumn sunlight. As I had that thought a song came to mind that made me smile. The key lyric is in the chorus parts and not so much the story parts. Enjoy!

Take the Long Way Home -- Supertramp

Day 6 - 293 -- Colours of Autumn

What a wonderful day! The sky was clear blue and the sun shone brightly. I walked to campus for a quick task and then headed out for groceries. Walking form the car to the house made a wonderful rustling sound in the downed leaves -- dry today due to the sun. I swept the leaves from the porches and then stood and took in the gorgeous gold, orange and red of the giant maple in my front yard. It was stunningly beautiful with the golden sunlight tones enhancing the leaf colours. 

I know I'm being repetitive, but autumn is my favourite season. The colours in this part of the country are truly amazing shades of orange, red, and pink that we don't see much of on the prairies. This never ceases to take my breath away. The colours are so intense they grab attention of passers-by. In a couple of weeks, all leaves will have fallen and then be removed. The day the yard care person does this task makes me feel sad. I so love walking through the ankle deep dry leaves in the long driveway -- a trip that makes me smile at this time of year. Once the leaves are gone, it just seems so empty. So, on days like today, I take time to revel in the colours and sounds of the autumn leaves. 

A song from my childhood often comes to mind at this time of year. This is one that my dad enjoyed, so I hear it often and learned to play it on the piano. I found a more contemporary version to share here today. It does have the melancholy sound of a minor key, so fits that wistfulness of watching the leaves fall in my yard at present. Enjoy! 

Autumn Leaves -- Eva Cassidy

 

Day 6 - 292 -- In a Blue Funk

Today, I felt very weary and filled with disinterest in activities in front of me. Inertia took hold early in the day and things spiraled downward from there, hence, most of the planned tasks were left unfinished. Reasons for the feelings aren't clear, but likely do to less restful sleep and too many 'need to do' things on my dreaded list. I hope that some solid rest will help perk me up a bit.

So many things can bring on a blue funk. Sometimes it is a combination of many things swirling in our immediate surround. Finding something that can lessen the negative aspect of the mood can be tricky. Walking helps sometimes. Music can almost always pull spirits upwards -- here the trick is finding the right music. A song came to mind while pondering the blog today. I will share two songs that are related somewhat. The first samples heavily from the original that is shared as the second selection. Both use a strong funk beat. Enjoy!

Play that funky music -- Vanilla Ice



Play that funky music -- Wild Cherry

Day 6 - 291 -- Power of Friendship

Another mixed bag of weather today -- a bit of sun, a bit of rain, and lots of cloud. Indoors, laundry and writing tasks filled the day. While working, I found myself thinking of a comment someone had made to me last week. I'd explained how I'd been surprised and grateful when acquaintances had offered help when I was needing it most. The comment noted that I seemed reluctant to ask for help from those closer to me. That really made me stop and think. One would expect support from friends and family before those known from more of a distance. I tried to explore my reluctance to tell others of difficulties encountered, but didn't come up with anything other than feeling weak or looking inept. Why would I expect friends to react that way? <sigh> I don't expect anyone to solve a problem for me, but maybe just to listen to my take on things. I resolved to be brave and let others know when I am facing a problem. It may not be easy, but trying counts for something.

Lyrics of a song fit my musings by reminding me that friendship is a gift. When searching for the version shared here, I discovered that the song is from a Disney movie -- go figure <smile>. Enjoy!

Gift of a Friend -- Demi Lovato

Day 6 - 290 -- Becoming a Person

The day was sunny but turned grey as I headed out to walk to campus. By the time I left, the sun was reappearing, so I went for a longer walk. Greyness returned before I got home from that walk. I met a friend I don't see too often in person due to her job being elsewhere a lot of the time. Her smile and hug helped me to see positives in the day. A longer writing project meeting took my mind to something I am passionate about and we always laugh at our meetings.

Today is Persons Day in Canada. Ninety years ago the Persons Case was taken to the Judicial Committee of the British Privy Council in England, where the earlier ruling of the Supreme Court of Canada was unanimously overturned. The Supreme Court had ruled that women were not persons and as such, could not take a seat in the Senate (or the House of Commons). By reversing this ruling, the door was open for women to take part in governing the nation. The Famous Five, a group of female advocates from Alberta, were instrumental in putting this case forward. One of them was a sitting judge at the time and others became members of provincial legislative assemblies. Their appeal of the national court interpretation of the British North America Act had far-reaching consequences for women in Canada.  The five Lords on the Judicial Committee of the British Privy Council noted that excluding women from serving in public office was "a relic of days more barbarous than ours." (Famous 5 Foundation. (1999) The Famous 5: Nation Builders, pp. 5).  It seemed  only fitting that today I ran into the female senator from this little town while out walking. <smile>

The song for today has a definite defiant sound and lyrics. It is from 1964, but seemed to fit the historical note of today. Enjoy!

You Don't Own Me -- Lesley Gore

Day 6 - 289 -- Rain Storm

Mid-morning had me heading out for milk. The walk was pleasant, though at the onset of a nor'easter. I timed things well to avoid the major winds and rain that lasted through the afternoon. As I walked back from the store, I looked up at the sky, which was filled with flying leaves. It resembled flocks of birds, but it was foliage. By the end of the major winds of the storm, leaves cover the ground and look to be ankle deep in places. There are still some left to fall from the trees, so there will be more on the ground in the coming weeks.

Today I felt a bit down for several reasons and encountered intermittent tears of frustration and sadness. I did manage to distract myself by packing the 'go bag' in case trees damaged in the last storm came down in this storm. Also, some revisions to a writing project were completed and  forwarded to my co-author. A call from a friend in the evening brought some smiles. And, no new trees down in my yard also helped me breathe a bit.

A song title struck me during one of the teary parts of the day. I've used it here before, but the lyrics say so much so well, that a repeat seemed reasonable. The lyrics are a bit sad, but the duo singing made me smile. Enjoy!

Crying in the Rain -- James Taylor & Elvis Costello

 

Day 6 - 288 -- Evening Arrives

The sun shone most of the day today complete with bright blue skies and temperatures into the mid-teens Celsius. I expect few more similar days this autumn. The house repairs occurred this morning. By late afternoon, I went for a longer walk than usual. It was lovely to be out in the sun, even though the air was feeling a bit cooler by then. It was invigorating. Early evening colours were lovely as the bright sunshine gave way to the deeper hues.

By mid-evening I was feeling very tired and ready to head off to bed early. I felt the need for sleep as a way of escaping some of the less pleasant aspects of current life. Some times like this, I wake in a stupor. I'm sure I dreamed, but nothing that I can remember. Yet, that is never a given. Anxiety brings dreams that process the fear in different ways. So, while sleep could be an escape, it might end up as a direct route back into the very things one hopes to escape. "To sleep, perchance to dream'

The song chosen for today has a few lines at the start that reminded me of the beauty of the change of light at the end of the day. It is an older tune, but I find it relaxing. Enjoy!

Twilight Time -- The Platters

Day 6 - 287 -- More Alterations

yet another schedule change with the workman occurred today. He arrived at the expected time, took some measurements and went back to the other larger job. Now he is expected early tomorrow morning -- so not my best time of day. <smile> This has meant everything from the bathroom vanity and counter has been in my bedroom going on for the third day. It is disruptive when I manage to get tasks worked into someone else's timing and then have to redo it -- twice now.

Such changes aren't the end of the world, but I work best with a plan for the day and the week. This ensure that things that have deadlines are completed as necessary. Learning of a major change to those plans in the middle of a day, can really mess up getting the needed things done on time. I headed up to campus to pick up a couple of things as I"d planned <smile>. I spoke with a friend who noted that any work with repair or construction workers will always be on a schedule different than agreed upon at the beginning of a job. She suggested we just accept this, breathe and move on as best we can. We each have a need for a degree of order (control even <grin>) in the world around us, so when I heard this, it made me think. I try to be flexible and spontaneous when possible. Neither is my strong suit, but I do work towards loosening up a bit. So, after our conversation, I tried to dial back the stress and rework the plan again.

One song seemed to say what I was dealing with and how I was trying to react today. The tempo feels positive. The lyrics eloquently say much of what I'd been thinking through the afternoon. Besides, the production features two saxophones -- an instrument my dad and brother played. These insturments are played by the singer-songwriter in this version. Enjoy!

Changes -- David Bowie

Day 6 - 286 -- Decisions, Decisions

Today began  with a  brief bit of sunshine, followed quickly by the return of cloud. The planned visit from  a workman to fix the ceiling and wall left by the plumbers a week ago was postponed until tomorrow. It is Thanksgiving Monday after all, which wasn't a problem for him  when he made the appointment a few days back. So, my plans for the day were altered as well as those for tomorrow. Bizarre --  but it turned out to be a reasonable day. Bits of housework and a movie filled the afternoon.  These occurred after I voted in the advanced polls. The polling station was empty when I arrived just past noon and a couple arrived as I left. I thanked those working today and realized there was much to be thankful for today.

This province passed a law giving women the franchise just a century ago. Dates were different for women across the country. Indigenous people were able to vote as recently 1960s. It is not something that I take for granted. It is a privilege as well as a right.

The song for today has been used before for such days, but nothing more perfect came to mind for the blog today. It noted some of the though that went into the major action of the day. I find the upbeat sound made me smile as I walked to and from the polling station. Enjoy!

Did you ever have to make up your mind -- Loving Spoonful

Day 6 - 285 -- Contemplating Gratitude

Today was quiet with a bit of drizzle but no major rain. By evening, the sky was clearing and the moon became visible. Beautiful. The highlight of the day was a dinner with friends to celebrate Thanksgiving. We went non-traditional this year and the host made lasagna. This was accompanied by four great salads, three vegetable and one fruit. they worked very well with the main dish. For dessert, there was a marvelous peach pie. The gathering brought wonderful conversations and much laughter.

While I do think regularly of the many things I'm grateful for, today is a day when I try to articulate these more clearly. Granted, each day brings different grateful thoughts, but there are some larger items that I will acknowledge here. Mainly, I have gratitude for the people in my life who support me on my journey. Friends, family and acquaintances bring moments of calm to my days or assist with problem solving when things get crazy. The companionship of a furry, purring friend is immeasurable -- a calming force that helps me to recentre or to laugh when feeling tense. Working with people who make me laugh and are passionate about the same things as I am makes getting up worthwhile and adds to the feeling of doing something useful in this world. Living in a smaller town where most things are within walkable distances provides a form of physical activity and stress reduction -- also seeing people I recognize while walking brings a sense of comfort and belonging.  These are but a few of the aspects of life for which I am thankful.

Each day I try to think of two or three key things that helped me through the day. Often these are smaller but no less important. The song chosen for today notes several of the 'smaller' things that bring gratitude. The reason for listing these in the lyrics is different than my choice to look for the positives in my days.  So many covers exist of this song. I chose one that sounded bright and happy. Sadly many focus on the minor key and sound plaintive. And when did this become a Christmas song? <sigh> The cover shared today is an instrumental -- though I presume many people know the words <smile>. Enjoy!

My Favorite Things -- Yo Yo Ma & Chris Botti

Day 6 - 284 -- Restful Rain

The rain began last evening and continued throughout the day today. This made the inside activities easier -- laundry, a bit of cooking and cleaning and some time with recorded television shows from the past week. So, not a very exciting day -- just the usual mundane weekend chores with more planned for tomorrow. <smile>

The rain sounded relaxing on the roof as the wind didn't create anything pounding. By supper time, the light outside had a distinct golden glow to it -- so the cloud cover was thinning as the sun set. A day or so without rain is expected, but then it is autumn weather in the Maritimes <smile>. The selection chosen today is one of the few positive songs about rain. The guitar is wonderful on this one as are the vocals -- lead and backing. Enjoy!

Let it Rain -- Eric Clapton

Day 6 - 283 -- Fun with Friends

For a Friday, the day went fairly well. A couple of items on my list didn't happen at the beginning of the day and another at the end, but those were dependent on other people being where they planned to be  and yet weren't for some reason. Each can happen at a later date, so I wasn't too worried about that. My own work went fairly well. A meeting went longer than planned, but was so fun and productive. Things are really coming together. A friend visited me in my new office abode and we explored a couple of the areas off one of the many staircases. The day ended with a great dinner out with a friend to celebrate both of our birthdays which occurred in the past three weeks. Dinner was yummy and the conversation was delightful. We've always been able to just talk and talk -- without feeling overly guarded in content. It is so liberating to chat about world events and personal stuff.

At my afternoon meeting, the other person sang a song from a musical she is in rehearsal for at present. I loved the lyrics -- they speak to the need to find people who let us be ourselves -- the good, the not so pretty and everything in-between. The song has a great uplifting sound to it along with the lyrics. Enjoy!

Shine A Light -- Heathers - the musical (various artists) 

Day 6 - 282 -- Odd Sense of Belonging

Today we had mainly sunshine with moments of cloud cover. My main errand was to get groceries. I felt the place would just get crazier over the next two days, so I headed up just after noon. It was crazy busy. All ages involved with most buying large carts filled with goods. I passed a few people with items piled so high, it took a spotter and a driver to move the cart forward. Navigating the aisles was challenging as many people were blocking progress of others while they searched for something on the shelves or carried on long conversations with other shoppers.I encountered the first of these visiting folk blocking the door into the store. That was my heads up that things would be a bit nutty inside. One item was shelved with not cost noted. I asked a worker in the area if they could tell me the price. The reply was that the cost was per pound. Not very useful when neither the weight or the cost per pound were posted anywhere. Another worker pointed to the shelf tag and said that was the price. I noted that the tag was for an entirely different product. So, finally someone went in to the back and got me the price. Silly things like this make it difficult to comparison shop. Luckily, at the check-out there was one person finishing, another with a smallish load and then me, so the wait was reasonable. Interestingly, I saw no one I know in the crowds today, but did find out later that someone I know was there about the same time.

After putting the groceries away at home, I walked out to visit the physio. My neck has been creating pain. He noted that the right side was tighter with less rotation than the left. We decided that me lifting boxes to unpack them at the office was the likely culprit. That job is almost completed. I plan to ask for assistance as I put things onto the top book shelves -- a spotter when I stand on the stool to heft things upwards. If people can have these to keep items in groceries carts, surely someone would assist me in my short endeavor. <smile>

A song title and a few lines ran through my head while shopping today. We were all there for the same reason -- like some flash mob determined to get Thanksgiving groceries before the main event dinner in three more days. I laughed a bit as I muttered the lines to myself. Enjoy!

The In Crowd -- Petulia Clark

Day 6 - 281 -- What if. . . ?

On this date 79 years ago, a man was born, one who would have major impact on social and cultural directions. John Lennon used words to put ideas of love and peace into the world. Many of his lyrics were poetic and thoughtful. As part of the Beatles, he was instrumental in setting fashion trends, musical directions, concept album ideas, cultural norms and social mores. He was far from perfect, but his communication of peaceful values showed his good side.

There are many past individuals, famous and not, who have changed the world in their own small way. Some  had greater impacts due to fame, while others had more local or regional effects that people notice but may not know who was responsible. Thought leaders bring people together around ideas that need to be discussed. Often such topics are the 'elephants in the room' -- we all recognize them, but choose to look in a different direction or to ignore their presence. Once someone gives us the permission to speak about such things, it can be extremely freeing -- emancipatory even. Paradigm shifts begin with one or two people proposing a new construct or supporting one that has been in existence but ridiculed or disregarded for some time. Altering the status quo isn't easy, but can often be worthwhile. I've wondered often what the world might have been like without these individuals. I will admit that I can't imagine what might be without them.

The song for today is one of Lennon's that summarizes his worldview. It has caused some consternation when phrases have been taken out of context. The whole, however, gives one pause and starts interesting thought processes. Enjoy!

Imagine -- John Lennon

Day 6 - 280 -- Finding a Direction

The day began grey and rainy and ended with sunshine and warmer temps. The wind was still cool, but walking felt good.  At the office I had two research meetings. One added to the writing workload for the week, but it is something that reinvigorates. When home, I noticed a bright half moon outside my kitchen window. It was gorgeous and bright.

My day had up and down moments, but I tried to focus more on the up moments. I was very tired early in the evening, so obviously still having some recovery issues as congestion comes and goes. Working with colleagues who I can also call friends is an up side to the research writing work. Seeing projects move from one step to the next can be gratifying. Forward movement sure beats stagnation or moving backwards <smile>.

The song chosen for today points to the direction I try to keep looking. Now, I do have a fear of heights so will do the looking from solid ground. <smile>  Enjoy!

Up, Up and Away -- 5th Dimension

Day 6 - 279 -- Day with Contrasts

The walk out this morning was lovely with a mix of sun and cloud, but reasonably warm temperature. When walking back at noon, the clouds had thickened and the wind had picked up considerably. The day was one of contrasts. I worked at getting some recycling ready to go to the curb tonight by sorting through household and research files. I managed to get two extra blue bags readied for pick up.

While reading this evening, I had the party leaders' debate on in the background. While there were some good points made, most was very repetitive, some was petty, and often it descended into speaking over each other and ignoring the debate moderator. I rarely watch these things, but felt the need to listen to all leaders before voting in the advance polls this next weekend. I'm not sure this changed my mind, but it did solidify some of the thoughts I'd had already. I've not seen a debate where people stick to the times and rules presented to all participants. Playing to the camera and audience by arguing like school children seems odd when wanting to sway people to one side. Being quick to anger doesn't seem the way to go, even when the person speaking at you irritates every nerve in your body. I've seen this in work sites at meetings and with friends and family disagreeing. Falling to the point of name calling seems less than adult, particularly for someone wanting your vote. Yet, all of us can react when buttons are pushed, leading to failure to listen or present a sensible statement. Empathetic listening and maintaining calm might work better -- but then, what do I know about what the rest of the viewers wanted to see. Current expectations for televised events seem to want sensationalist activities, and those expecting something different from a political debate are is stark contrast to larger swaths of the populace.

Lyrics from a song seemed to fit the contrasts seen in the debate and how the weather events were fighting it out today.  Enjoy!

Hear Me Out -- New Edition

Day 6 - 278 -- Sunny Sunday

Today was quiet -- mercifully so after the late night party on the street. <smile> I was blinded by the brightness as I climbed the stairs from the basement when doing last of the laundry today. It has been some time since that happened. The furry one sat in the sunshine on the kitchen floor, which turns him gold as the undercoat jumps to the forefront. Gorgeous. The yard looked less dismal with the sun shining through the leaves and onto the grass. Picture perfect day after the extended cloud and rain days. Forecasts note the next couple of days will be warmer, too. It was down to freezing overnight but should be almost 20C tomorrow with a low in the mid-teens.

How did I spend the day? Finishing weekend chores and doing a bit of cooking. Didn't get all planned tasks completed, but the main ones were done. I watched a movie that made me smile, and wrote the catch-up blogs. A quiet day, but one that felt good.

The song shared today presents sunshine as a positive in life. The singer was an icon. enjoy!

Hello Sunshine -- Aretha Franklin

Day 6 - 277 -- Homecoming

Today brought a variety of celebrations mixed with bizarre indulgence. Homecoming weekend involved a number of new and regular events. The annual football game was held last evening rather that Saturday afternoon. Instead, given this is the 50th anniversary of women's sport on campus, the game today was women's rugby with our team, the national champions, against a rival from down the road. Some of the less welcomed events are the major parties that occur throughout town from undergraduate students who have yet to leave campus and have something to celebrate for homecoming. Sadly, one of the event houses is across the street from me <sigh>.

I walked out in early afternoon to purchase milk. The town was more alive with people -- alum and larger groups of current students. The weather was cold with intermittent sun and rain. Many girls were dressed with pep squad looking short short and t-shirts. I was wearing a fleece under the rain jacket. On my street, there were smaller groups going up and down the street. I noticed the police were patrolling the streets more heavily than usual. One drove by as I walked up the street with four louder young men walking behind me. They had an insulated bag with them, which likely held cans of beer. I was looking at the sidewalk and was startled when the front end of a white car entered the driveway I was crossing. I looked up as the driver -- an RCMP officer -- was asking one of the fellows behind me what he had done with 'the can' -- so one had obviously been drinking and threw the can aside when he saw the police vehicle. <sigh> The house across the street was too loud on and off throughout the day and then ran from 7 PM until sometime after 1:30 AM (when they last woke me and I changed my earplugs). This house is loud several times a week -- the one frustrating part of this great neighbourhood.

I found myself drawn to a set of lyrics describing life events. This spoke to me as something that many alumni were addressing as they met people this weekend from years back. the singer-songwriter covers many genres -- alt-country with a bit of rock and a bit of folk. The arrangement for this video uses techniques from several genres. Enjoy!

My Story -- Brandi Carlile

Day 6 - 276 -- Out of my Hands

Today brought numerous shifting priorities. After discovering the water leak in the basement ceiling last night, I had shut off the water to the house overnight. This did allow things to settle and all dripping stopped, though the water in the two wet tiles wicked to the remaining three tiles in this area. Not the end of the world, as we had saved extra tiles purchased for the repair work for a similar leak two to three years back. The plumbers arrived by mid-morning and left by mid afternoon. Things like this reinforce why I rent <sigh>.  The new leak was repaired within two hours, but when they tested the lines again, they found another lesser leak that was in a difficult area to access -- between the floor and ceiling right into a wall. This required removal of six bathroom tiles -- 2x3 -- and the gyprock behind that area. Once fixed, the residual repair will be minimal in the basement, but a whole new piece of wall needs to be added upstairs. For the moment, it is covered up with plastic and duct tape -- the saving grace of many projects <smile>.

So -- with all of the extended work and timing of the arrival of workmen, changes in my plans began. A former student was presenting a seminar this morning just after the men arrived. I headed up to campus to catch her before the presentation began and returned home just as the men were returning with materials from the shop. I was able to arrange to meet the young woman and her mother for tea in mid-afternoon -- just after an hour of cleaning up the sawdust, gyprock dust and ceramic tile dust and shards. I headed up to campus after our tea visit to chat with a couple of friends at the end of their day. We headed to the pub for a Friday beverage and some supper. When I got home, I had a message from the tree guy and I'd missed a chance to show him the work that I see and ask what more he sees. We will connect next week now. I vacuumed the entire upstairs to get the bits that had been tracked through the house. Then I swept stairs and hallway in the basement for the same reason. By then, I was ready for a shower and sleep. <smile>

Perhaps besides the external forces that altered plans, the key to the day was adaptation. A song lyric that seemed to fit the hit and miss plans for the day came to mind. The version I chose to share is a cover of the original. Enjoy!


The Times They are a-Changin' -- Tracy Chapman

Day 6 - 275 -- Grayish Day

Thursday has felt like a Monday. A lot of things not going as wished.  My cold is still being naggy. When I got up, there was no water. A valve down the street was being replaced so no water flowed in houses until mid-afternoon. I had planned to do some special laundry to get ready for the colder temperatures. At supper time, I headed down to the deep freeze to find something to cook. What I found was water pooling into the hallway from the pantry room. There is a constant drip from the ceiling tiles causing the pool.  I have placed a bucket under the drip with towels around to catch the drip running down the wall to the floor. So, not what i wanted to see <sigh>. I notified the land lady, but haven't heard back from her yet -- may mean I have to call her in the morning before it becomes a weekend and plumbers cost more. So, after my shower, I turned off the water so none enters the house. My hope is that this will slow the dripping overnight. I'll turn it on for a bit in the morning and then off again when I head up to campus. That will be for a couple of hours only, so I can be home for plumbers when they are available.

The first news I read this morning brought news of the death of a friend -- just shy of his 98th birthday, He loved gardening -- food and flowers and always had a smile with great twinkling eyes. I had some wonderful conversations with him over the years. I know he will be missed by family and other friends of mine.

The song chosen for today is for the life of a wonderful person. Enjoy!

I will remember you -- Sarah McLachlan

Day 6 - 274 -- Social Struggles

The day was fairly mundane. A new cold symptom arrived -- congested Eustachian tube on the side not most involved during the worst of the cold. Two meetings went well and I got more boxes unpacked. Only four remain to be emptied. 

I heard a newer hip hop artist on the morning show today. She won the Polaris Prize for music -- given to the album of the year with the most artistic components. Her album "13th Floor" contains 13 tracks. The album title points to the social mores of avoiding things that are really there -- like going from the 12th to the 14th floor. In her rhyming she describes experiences as a woman of colour in general society as well as within the hip hop industry. Much of her lyrics are empowering and show her tenacity. 

An example from the new album is shared here. It chronicles her struggles in the music industry. Enjoy!

In Women Colour -- Haviah Mighty

Day 6 - 273 -- What's that sound?

After some time writing for a project, I headed out to the grocery store to replenish items that were gone over a week ago. Being sick didn't allow the energy necessary to wander the huge grocery store or carry the big bags. So, today was the big groceries day. I decided the noise I'd heard with the car before the cold is most likely a muffler issue -- some noise from the exhaust system. I just wanted it to hold body and soul together until I could get groceries home. It did.

It frustrates me that this happened now and not in another month or so. I'm planning to get a new vehicle and it would have been great to have this sound like the quiet running vehicle that it has been for years. Buy back value drops whenever something goofy is added to the list of quirks the car has developed. Losing confidence or trust in something that can be a conduit to independence can add to anxiety. It can also add pressure to the purchase process that never feels good to me. It will be dealt with, though.

When muttering to myself, one word came out of my mouth that made me laugh. It is also a song title <smile> and describes the what I heard today. Enjoy!

Roar -- Katy Perry

Day 6 - 272 -- First Day Back

Today was the first day back to campus since the cold began. I took a taxi up in the morning and planned to walk down the hill home in the afternoon. The many, many stairs up to the top floor of the building took some work and a few pauses along the way. Miraculously, the computer connected to all network drives and the printers. Of course, this was the day an appointment with IT was booked to help figure out the issue. After lunch, I walked to the library and found that I could renew one of the intra-library loans that I haven't read as closely as necessary for one writing project. <yay>. Next was a guest lecture for a third year course. I was feeling rather foggy, but things went well. I do miss being in the classroom. After the IT tech visit, I unpacked a number of boxes. There is a noticable space where there once were boxes! Still, many are left to unpack -- but this will be done in the near future. Walking home went fairly well, with just a few moments of rubbery legs along the way. At home I found a bag between the doors. I laughed when I looked inside. It was a thank you gift of a soup mix. Today was perfect for soup. In fact, that is what was on tap for supper. The dry mixes are made by a local business and contain everything in lovely layers. I look forward to making this soup -- an others -- over the coming cooler days.

Overall, the day went well -- better than expected given the fatigue of late. I've come to expect negative results with many recent events. Working to see the positives can be difficult when things trend in a different direction. Today, was just one of those days. Not everything went perfectly, but there were more positives than less than positives in the day. <smile>

In my head I heard three words repeatedly through the day. They comprise the title of a song -- granted about something very different than my day, but the psychological nature of the phrase fit my thoughts. Love the iconic voice here. Enjoy!

Maybe I'm Amazed -- Paul McCartney