Day 6 - 104 -- Relaxing Rest

Much of today was spent reviewing notes for the final exam tomorrow. This was interrupted by breaks to finish the laundry, wash my hair and make supper <smile>. I chose to take the evening off and just let the information marinate in my head for now. With 100 multiple choice questions, it is difficult to determine what specifics of the vast content will be included. I re-read it all and hope that the question format will help me with finding the correct responses. I just need a good rest tonight so I can tackle tomorrow well. 

Recent events have led me to reflect on the emotions that come with feeling overwhelmed -- fear and confusion being near the top of the lengthier list. When in the midst of this type of situation, one can feel the urge to run away or the need to hide somewhere. I've thought this to be similar to the 'horse to the barn' instinct -- that need to go somewhere that feels safe - even if it isn't. Such urges augment the overwhelming feelings. For some, it may go beyond anxiety and border on panic. When we run and hide from everything, how can we help each other recenter? Hmm.

A lyric came to mind today, while thinking of these emotional responses to life -- "Once there was a way to get back home."  The song had a wonderful lullaby tone to it. It was part of the last recorded album of a major group. The link shared here is to the song fragment alone, though it is generally heard linked to other partial songs on this album. The arrangement for this one is lovely. Enjoy! 

Golden Slumbers -- The Beatles (Abbey Road album) 

Day 6 - 103 -- Taking Advice

Rain fell throughout the night and well into the morning. That made it easier to do the inside work today <smile>. One of the written tasks was put into another draft format. Reading through some of the course content before the final exam Monday is happening. There is no way that all video, audio and print materials could be reviewed in the final week. Seems I didn't take my own advice to students over the past decades -- I didn't start studying before the course ended.

It can be disconcerting when I realize that advice I provide others is overlooked by me in similar situations. I understand that when providing advice, I occupy a very different space than when I need advice. For some reason, that helpful aspect of brain work doesn't come to the fore when we begin to feel overwhelmed. Perhaps this requires someone external who can help the one seeking advice to see things in a more organized manner. Depending on the situation, we may not be competent to play both roles simultaneously. I haven't taken a course with classroom lectures for years -- like decades. Other courses completed have been online, which often allowed a student to work at their own pace. Some skill sets have returned -- note-taking, making study notes and critical thinking -- all different than those used as an instructor. So, study skills are rusty it seems -- well at least for a final exam covering all content. My goal involves spending most time with the section since the midterm that includes music genres with which I'm less familiar. Reading all my class notes will occur, too. Luckily the exam occurs in the afternoon, so no early morning necessary and hopefully that will mean a reasonable sleep. 

Given the day of the week, one song came to mind. The title has been my online nick for 23 years. The lyrics are fun and the singer a favourite of mine since childhood. Enjoy!


Saturday's Child -- The Monkees

Day 6 - 102 -- Pushing Through

Sun and blue skies greeted my day. Most of the day was spent getting study notes together for review over the weekend. Much of the stuff I know, but there is a lot of detail that needs to be sorted through. Luckily the exam is multiple choice, so that helps to jog the memory a bit. I've often said if life's conversations were multiple choice, I'd do much better than the usual verbal charades to get the name of a person, movie or whatever. <sigh> I can only hope that will assist me with this exam, too.

I took a break to do some short errands for household management. The air was much colder than it looked <smile>. The north wind carried a chill and I had carried gloves just in case <smile>. As I walked, I realized that I had a headache, which might have something to do with the tired feeling pushing on me. Once I got home, I felt less oppressed by tasks. I tackled part of the one that will be on the agenda for tomorrow. A light supper and soak in the tub with a good novel helped to release some of the muscle tension present.

An upbeat blues song came to mind today. The singer delivers the lyrics with an optimistic tone. Enjoy!

Saved by the Blues -- Peter Tork and Shoe Suede Blues

Day 6 - 101 -- Feeling Weary

The morning began gray and dreary. I woke early after a disrupted sleep so felt tired all day. An early meeting helped to answer some questions which reduced anxiety -- at least for that personal issue <smile>. I worked on the project that needs to be presented in a meeting next week getting together my part of a the three person presentation. There is still much polishing needed for my part before the dry run through next week. I also need to organize things for the final exam I write on Monday -- a lot of content to cover. The sun came out by afternoon and the walk home was in bright sunshine. I headed to bed earlier than usual in hopes of feeling more ready to push through the two projects tomorrow. <fingers crosed>

Today I'm sharing a song that fit my overall weariness, since that was the backdrop to the entire day. 

Tired -- Toby Keith

Day 6 - 100 -- Refashioning Focus

Today surprised me. I'm in the midst of five separate projects. Juggling these has worked well until the past week or so when deadlines began looming for more than one of these. My brain can't handle writing several things at once given the writing process I've used forever. I write onto screen or paper after my brain has organized and written and edited. I skip the 'just write something' phase. I know others who write this way and it is excruciating <smile>. I've had to try to write before my brain has done the heavy lifting. It is trying, but often bits get crossed when writing several things at once. So -- after much thought, I realize that I have to focus on one thing at a time. Get one project near the final draft and then move to the next item. Some will take a few days while others may take less time. Regardless of time, the brain won't work in a way that it simply wasn't wired to do.

When feeling stressed, it can often only take one more thing for everything to come crashing down. When the personal encroaches, that needs to be cared for first. If not, nothing will be managed as it all swirls into some hateful vortex of doom. My revelation today gave me a direction. I hope that the new plan works <smile>.

A song from years back came to mind. The lyrics provide direction similar to what I've thought of today. Enjoy!

Don't Stop -- Fleetwood Mac

Day 6 - 99 -- Response to Compliments

Where to begin -- it has been a full day. The ground wore a thick white covering when I looked at the great outdoors through the windows in the night. In the morning, the sun was bright and strong. It helped me to feel warm when the air temperature was not much above freezing. The snow ran from the sun, so much was gone by noon.  Once into the office when I got the computer up and running, it became clear that a notice I'd expected later in the afternoon had come out mid-morning. My inbox was filling quickly from a deluge of good wishes from colleagues, friends, and current and past students. I am the 2019 recipient of a major professional award -- based on pioneering, innovative work over my career. Wow -- it is overwhelming (in a good way) and very humbling.

I found myself thinking through the day about the many people who have supported my journey -- school teachers, professors, colleagues, students, friends and family. Without each of these people, I wouldn't have been able to do what I've done -- since none of this I've done alone. People have listened to my sometimes goofy ideas <smile>, and helped me to run with them. Others listened to me vent when things  became frustrating and hurdles blocked my planned path. People accepted me for who I am, which helped tremendously. Like the sun today, they cared for me along the road.

Having grown up where women were not empowered to speak about their accomplishments without being seen as braggarts, accepting praise can be difficult. I had a bit of time to sit with the news before the public notice. This helped me. To respond to the kind words hang onto humility and avoid self-deprecation. These thoughts brought a song to mind -- like no one expected that <smile>. The lyrics provide a goal for living one's life. Enjoy!

Humble and Kind -- Tim McGraw

Day 6 - 98 -- Challenges

Some sun appeared this morning but cloud took over by afternoon. Forecasters tell us that snow will be around for the next couple of days. Accumulations here are far less than those expected in the south or through NB. With warmer ground, anything that sticks will not remain long. I ran out for groceries before an unplanned appointment. In that sense, this was a proverbial Monday.

Being courageous and trying to face fears can be challenging. People may need to melt into a puddle of fright or panic before regrouping for the main event. Supporting those in our lives brings similar emotions. That may help with empathy instead of sympathy -- the goal of any form of supportive behaviour.

I heard part of a song on the morning show today. The full lyrics describe the type of support I was thinking of today. The singer possesses an amazing voice. The song is from the soundtrack to a movie being released next week. Enjoy!

I'm Standing with You -- Chrissy Metz