Day 6 - 120 -- Pondering Matrilineal Lines

While dusting late yesterday, I found myself pondering the faces in the frames in one corner of the living room. The photos show four generations of women -- my great-grandmother, grandmother, mom, and me. Hanging on the wall above these four individual photos, is an large, oval older photo of my great-grandmother and her sister. I'm not sure when that one was taken. She married in 1911 or 1912, so this could be sometime around then or a little later. She was much younger than in the other smaller photo. The four smaller photos show women with grey hair <smile>. The larger one shows the two younger women in black and white with hand done painting to highlight complexions and gold jewelry. The big wooden frame for the oval photo is stunning and situates the two subjects well.

Since then, I've been thinking of my matrilineage. I never knew my great-grandmother who died before I was born. My grandmother was named for her and her sister and my mom's middle name was my great-grandmother's name. I was to have that name, but my parents changed their minds to go with something newer. These were strong women -- physically and psychologically. My great-grandmother and grandmother lived on homesteads in two-room shanties. Here on the barren prairie they raised had children, raised families and finally left for town or city during the 1930s when nothing would grow. My mother was born on the homestead and her birth certificate had gps coordinates as there was no settlement. Life was tough and money was scarce, yet they survived -- no, they thrived. I think of my grandmother who traveled from Ontario to Manitoba and to Saskatchewan mainly by horse and buggy. Many years later, she would fly from Saskatchewan to Ontario to visit her sons and other family members. What a change that must have been. I often think of what they went through that seems amazing today, but was de rigeur then. I guess we all learn to cope with what we have and the technology of the time.

One song came to mind for these thoughts. The lyrics present a similar train of thought and can bring similar tears. The song is sung by a mother and daughter duo, which seemed only right for this blog post. Enjoy!

Guardian Angels -- The Judds

Day 6 - 119 -- A Deadline Conglomeration

Many tasks need to be completed in the next 24 hours -- deadlines stacked on deadlines. Some of these require the work of others before I can complete my part. Not being in control can create more stress than necessary <smile>. I did manage to do some portions of each task during the day, with more to do tomorrow. I'd hoped to get part of a larger task to the halfway point tonight, but that isn't going to happen. I'm so tired due to waking way to early this morning. So -- have to get a good rest tonight so I can hit the ground running tomorrow. <smile>

I took time on the way home to wander the front yard to find the spring flowers in the lawn. Further crocuses are set to bloom and big patches of the bluish lavender Glory of the Snow have begun to emerge. Lillies, irises and tulips are several inches above the soil. they should bring blooms over the next few months. I do love seeing these throughout the growing season.  Cloud formations and emerging sun of late afternoon were wonderful to watch, too.

Lyrics ran through my head today that suit the situation of the day perfectly. The second verse fits perfectly with "The endless desperation of deadline after deadline" and "brings the inclination to make a little free time and watch nature's message as she goes about her day." The singer-songwriter brings moments of calm much like nature did today. Enjoy!

Moon Over the Rio Grande -- Michael Nesmith

Day 6 - 118 -- Anxiety of the Unknown

Sun shone most of the day with just a sprinkle of rain in mid-afternoon. The view out the window inspired me to do many household tasks. I started the day with a new-to-me weekend breakfast -- a fritatta. I've eaten these before, but don't recall cooking one. I used a generic recipe with proportions of types of ingredients and it turned out to be delightful. I'll have to keep this recipe close at hand for future inspired mornings. The rest of the day involved checking over tax figures. I'd like to get this into the mail tomorrow -- a day early (though it seems I don't owe anything so could file later, if I chose). I made a couple of phone calls to arrange plans for future trips. One involved a chat with people I hadn't spoken to for a while -- always a fun event.

Moving through the day brought thoughts of past, present and future. Having time to reflect can help one feel more grounded. Making plans ahead of time brings calmness instead of anxiety. Flexibility is built in to such plans, so things can change as needed -- but at least some basics have been decided. As an introvert, this helps me manage the anxiety of the 'unknown' <smile>. Just as preparing for differing weather events within or across days, preparing for future events may ensure one is set for the situations -- just like the rain jacket or parka that are in heavy rotation these days.

In the background was a recorded program that celebrated the Motown sound of the past six decades. One song caught my attention. It reminded me of something else I need to do in the coming few weeks -- go shopping somewhere outside my tiny town. <smile>  I loved the combination of artists for this rendition of an old favourite. The singer-songwriter from the early days paired well with a more recent group. Enjoy!

Note -- the lead singer is now 79 years old <smile>

Shop Around -- Smokey Robinson and Pentatonix

Day 6 - 117 -- A Little Luxury

This was a quiet Saturday. Household chores, laundry and cooking filled most of the day. A new batch of spaghetti sauce was completed, which will be added to the freezer inventory for evenings when cooking from scratch may not fit. During the day, I watched a couple of recorded programs and took an hour to read a novel. Cold and cloudy described the weather, which led to downpours in the evening. 

Taking time to relax a bit felt positive today. Other 'work' items exist, but I chose to set them aside for today. I still find it difficult at times to give myself permission to let things sit for a day or so. Twenty years of not having this luxury means fighting what became the norm. This is no longer the case -- something that takes time to accept. It also means that even when understanding that the sense of urgency isn't real, one can be pulled back into the crazy work focus. I've been doing better, but when several things need attention at one time, it can result in an internal struggle. 

An interesting song from the early R&B days seemed to fit the relaxing activities of today. Enjoy! 

Saturday Night at the Movies -- The Drifters

Day 6 - 116 -- Saying Goodbye

Many different tasks were completed today. I began with some photography to get a new head shop. That worked quite well. I really dislike having photos taken <smile>. I then got a few groceries, most of which were on sale and yet the final tally was outstandingly huge. <sigh> I then attended an informal tea for the two contract workers whose terms are over soon. Much laughter and relaxed conversations took place. I felt calmer at the end and others looked a bit more relaxed, too. The sun came out in the afternoon and while the north wind was still bracing, the day brightened. This was especially pleasant given the next 24-36 hours will bring pouring rain and wind.

It dawned on me that the farewells said this afternoon are but the first of many that will occur in the coming two weeks. Convocation is a week away. I still know the graduating class and the one after them, since I taught these students in several courses. The class two years out I taught in one course, so they will be the last group that I got to know in a classroom setting. The bittersweet aspects of seeing people move on to the next phase of their careers and lives can be so palpable. We are lucky to be able to work with such wonderful people. Time passes so quickly, that it seems difficult to understand that a full term has elapsed already. Not being in the midst of the teaching this year did make a difference in how time passed. It went by quickly, but for different reasons than when I was in the classroom. <smile>

A song that came to mind is sung by two amazing voices in English and Italian. The melody is beautiful and filled with emotion. Enjoy!

Time to Say Goodbye (Con Te Parero) -- Andrea Bocelli ft. Sarah Brightman

Day 6 - 115 -- Enjoyable Events

Interesting events provided emotional highlights today. In the afternoon the annual celebration of new retirees occurred. This was the first year where I knew everyone on the list -- knew well enough to have a conversation if we were to meet at the grocery store -- not just a passing nod <smile>. One of my colleagues, the last one who was here before I arrived, chose to retire this year. The speakers did wonderful jobs of highlighting careers in just a few minutes. The Academic Vice President and Provost noted that this year saw the largest number of attendees. I enjoyed chatting with a number of people I hadn't seen over the term. It was like people had come out of hibernation in some dark cave, looking tired but a bit more relaxed than a few weeks ago. Finals are over and grades for graduates are due on Monday and other years a week after that. This allowed many people to take a few moments out of the usual routine to meet with others in a happy setting.

In the evening, I had a Skype call with members of my undergraduate class who are celebrating an anniversary of our graduation. Several things converged to make it difficult for me to attend this year. Luckily, electronic communications allowed us to converse while they gathered for dinner. It was such fun to see those familiar faces -- even briefly. Putting together a regular site for sharing updates may be the next step. Everyone was having such a good time. It felt good to see those who were able to attend this year.

Lyrics that fit both groups of people I had a chance to chat with today was chosen to share here. The words inspire listeners to make the most of life. Enjoy!

Reunion -- Bon Jovi

 

Day 6 - 114 -- Reminded of Supports

Cloud and pale sunshine competed for attention today. Some spring yard clean up was accomplished finally, which needed to be fit in between rain events. I saw some crocuses on the verge of opening along with several bunches of that will be out in a few days. That will make the front lawn purple in patches -- a wonderful part of spring. I spent time on campus to print some items -- a trip that took longer than intended as I spoke to people I hadn't chatted with for a while. The conversations brought good feelings. The evening brought a delightful video chat with a friend.We hadn't spoken for several years, so this one was special. 

Feelings during the day moved like the weather from dismal grey to feeble sunshine to brighter sun and back again -- an all over the map kind of day. Altered plans and new plans worked their way into the agenda. Supports are available, if I just remember to call on people when I need that assistance <smile>. Some events can feel isolating when we are not really alone in the processes.

One song seemed to fit my thoughts perfectly today. It was written by a wonderful singer-songwriter and is sung here by the perfect voice for the lyrics. Enjoy!

You've Got a Friend -- James Taylor