11-20 (20/1/24) -- Grey Again

Clouds returned today so it was a cold grey walk this afternoon. The wind wasn't too strong, but it added to the cold. Next time out, I must remember to put on the rain pants which block the wind. Denim can be so cold. <smile> Inside I tried to get to some basics in the house. Saturday has been my laundry day for decades, so I managed to change linens and get the washer and dryer routine started. I also looked through the research article to determine what final alterations are needed before we submit for publication. The little details can be so frustrating to complete. They are very important, just so picky. <grin> Once I looked at it, though, I just set it all aside. 

As the afternoon wore on, I found myself drifting from the original plan and taking some time to just veg a bit. It makes sense to do this, too. Other things are getting addressed one step at a time. I still stress that I don't get to the tasks some days. Am I lazy or what? I become so disengaged at times. I suspect this is another of the impacts of grief. These mellow with time based on previous journeys with grief. Fatigue is the biggest obstacle. I'm not sure whether it is from disrupted sleep at night or that disengagement. I just know it makes me want to nap or just veg with the television. The goal is to have fewer of this type of day and more of the mainly 'up' days. It will come, but it does take work to get there. 

I know that this journey isn't taken alone. Some days it feels like it, but there are others available for support and to walk with me for a while. This song lyric reminds me of that while noting that life is unknown and will have many ups and downs. Keep save. Enjoy! 

Fields of Gray -- Bruce Hornsby