Today brought many tasks for multiple projects -- all needing to be completed NOW if not YESTERDAY. <smile> So -- I occupied myself with one set of tasks at a time as best I could. Many of the urgent tasks have been completed or are very, very near that point. Writing deadlines for volunteer projects topped the priority list. Then I turned to more personal deadlines.
It is not that my personal deadlines are softer deadlines since there is a definite must do time involved. Yet, always it seems that deadlines for others get popped higher on the list. Is that because of guilt in holding up others? Why are my personal needs seen -- by me -- as something less than urgent. This phenomenon leads to making medical appointments later rather than sooner, wasting food that I planned to cook and freeze, and filling the car with gasoline as I'm leaving town for a trip. These and other needs seem more elastic in my mind. It could be the way women are socialized to care for others before themselves or it could be something much deeper in psychology dealing with self identity and such. It is a question that I've pondered often. I've seen this occur with other women, so believe that it isn't unique to me <smile>. I've often given advice that someone needed to get in touch with their own needs and let some of the perceived service needs relax a bit. As I've also said many times, it is easier to provide advice to others and their situations than it is to take one's own advice for others to heart. Another item to work on in my spare time <smile>.
As I ran about from task to task today, I found there were too many thoughts flying around in my mind. Finding my way through them all to focus on one item at a time was tricky. Metaphorically, the lyrics of a song from one of my favourite bands from the '70s seem to bring my feelings into view. The song begins with a great guitar that sounds like the feeling I had -- a little lost and stressful. As this group always does, the song is catchy and easy to listen to. Enjoy!
Run through the Jungle -- Creedence Clearwater Revival
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