Today I felt totally unfocused and maybe a bit lost. Add being tired to the mix and it is no wonder I seemed to forget many things that I meant to say or do during the day. In an online interview, I felt I lost focus with some answers and had to ask for a repeat of the question involved. I've always been more than a wee bit tangential when speaking. I tend to start with a huge ball of ideas, wander about a bit, and finally make my point -- that is unless I've gotten myself lost along the journey <smile>. Today things didn't go well.
I suspect that I am not alone in this feeling. The stresses of the pandemic, particularly as we head into the 'second wave', can create stress. The symptoms are there, even when people don't fully understand where it all originates. The days often begin with good intentions and reasonable energy, only to disintegrate sometime in the afternoon. Again, I find myself trying to figure out what I'm doing that causes this when it is likely something outside of me causing the stress. Learning to give myself a break is not easy. I'd do it for others, so am not sure why I expect myself to be different. Perhaps I need to build in self check in times during the day, to see how I am feeling. Maybe this would help me take a break or go for a walk to refresh. By supper time, I often don't feel like cooking. I have ingredients and plans for a couple of large batch dinners that will go to the freezer so there is a choice for days when I'm not up for cooking. I could take a break from cleaning or whatever, early in the day and get recipes started that need a long time to simmer. It may be as simple as understanding when the energy ebbs and flows during the day and then taking advantage of that knowledge. So -- working to be self aware goes to the top of the big list. <smile> There is also a need to understand that other people are in the same situation. Just because I am alone a lot more than before this all began only means that I don't see people as regularly and interact with them -- all of which helps to see that others are under stress, too.
A song from decades past rolled around in my head today. It is about finding a place of comfort and thinking through events of the day. The album title sounds enticing -- Endless Summer. <smile> Stay safe. Enjoy!
In my Room -- The Beach Boys
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