Day 3 - 200 -- Time Flying By

Today was another in a string of days filled with inertia, apathy and indolence. We had a productive meeting, I made several phone calls to check on projects, and had a wonderful chat with a former student who is on campus doing the beginning of a distance degree. The latter was a highlight of the day and brought a number of smiles. The major tasks that need to be done sat unattended as I busied myself with others. There is a pile of writing waiting for editing and two other piles of writing that have to begin and end soon. I know it needs to be done. Editing should be easier to address than a blank page, but that isn't happening either. I don't think I'm truly lazy, but I feel unmotivated. Even a looming deadline seems not to move me forward. Granted, I have co-authors who need to provide some input for a few points, but the rest I could tackle. <sigh>

Writing often brings this feeling of not wanting to begin. I generally feel a bit anxious and then can just sit down and do it after a few days. The anxiousness simply isn't there at present. It darn well should be given the timelines involved. It isn't that I am sitting playing video games or staring into space. I managed to write a few solid e-mail responses, prepare files for other tasks that need to be  done before classes begin, and assist with future meetings and planning for several groups. So, what is holding me back from the writing? I know I write in my head, make notes and then write the full sentences. I have the notes done already, but can't seem to get the last action started. Soon, other things will become priority and this one will have missed a major deadline and will need to be resubmitted elsewhere. So, again, what is creating this huge barrier? I've tried a number of tactics and nothing seems to move me to move that one project forward. It simply creates further frustration when I try to start it. Something seems to be stopping me but I can't put my finger on it.

While I have felt that I was being lazy, I'm sure it is something else nagging at me. Time is passing by but not working on the project makes me feel I'm squandering the non-class time of the year. A lyric ran through my head when that thought crossed my mind this afternoon. The lyrics are angst-ridden, yet end with a glimmer of hope. The voice is one I could listen to all day long. Enjoy!

Wasted Time -- Eagles