Day 296 -- navel gazing

I've been reflecting today on what it is that others do that can turn me into someone I really don't like -- someone who is confused that can lead to something akin to anger,  or someone who seems unable to feel or appear confident. Now it isn't that others make me feel less than useful, but that somehow I allow their actions to trigger negative emotions in me. As an introvert, I do need time to reflect and contextualize things around me. Perhaps the confusion that looks like anger from the outside, occurs early in an encounter that seems to require immediate response -- something that I am not always comfortable with, particularly if there is a perceived threat in the encounter. I'm one of those people that needs to sit for a while and gather thoughts and then talk. If this is possible, things work out much better. I can speak to an issue clearly, having thought it through first.

Given time, I can feel calmer and the confusion can leave -- or at least clearer questions can be asked. I don't appear angry to others or to myself as I've been able to understand that it was likely confusion or being overwhelmed that caused the negative emotions to blend together -- the fight of flight response, perhaps. So -- after all these years, it can be useful to begin to understand my responses to various situations. It should allow me to ask what I can or ask for a few moments to gather my thoughts. Not all situations allow that, though <smile>. I have been able to act well in emergency situations -- I don't tend to panic, but I have first aid training to provide me a framework for control. So -- it seems I've found a use for the introspection that I've lived with all my life <smile>.

Today's selection is a song with a calming melody. The lyrics deal with changes of mood and emotion. I think it could be a song for one learning to like oneself as well as the more common romantic love meaning taken from the lyrics. I love this song and the singer. Enjoy!

She -- Elvis Costello