Day 3 - 111 -- Breathing

Control -- and the fight for it -- was the word of the day.  Workers came to fix the basement and put things back where they came from. I went to assist with that and it seemed to be that one person just wanted to move things to the two rooms they came from without much attention to where and which room.  I can't heft furniture or my file boxes, so I have to have them where they should be so I can find things without it being like I just moved in. This made me a bit stressed and I tried to hold on and not lose my temper. I kept saying where things should go and then made it clear that I wasn't going anywhere. She kept moving on to another place where they'd squirreled things away without finishing the space she felt she had completed. I calmly went into each corner to ensure that anything extraneous was moved where it should go. It was a battle of wills. Luckily the third person there was more willing to do it well. So -- the basement is almost back in shape. The carpenter didn't put the drapery rod hardware back up nor did he put the door sill back in the doorway. So -- someone will return sometime to complete that.

Feeling a bit out of control with what was going on with my stuff was a major challenge for me. I can tend towards perfectionism, but really do want things to be at least done well and done correctly. When this was someone being paid to do this, it needed to be done well. Working to guide people without being rude or angry can take a lot, especially when tired before issues begin to arise. I stood and breathed a bit and worked at being present rather than having to end up watching myself from somewhere outside myself when I lose control. The worker wasn't rude, but just thinking of the next job rather than being present at this one. We all have times like that.

The lyric that came to mind deals with breathing and learning to stand up for oneself. Enjoy!

Catch my Breath -- Kelly Clarkson