Day 4 - 101 -- The Hope of Spring

Woke early after a rather vivid dream -- not scary but emotionally disturbing nonetheless. Carrying around these feelings of loss creates major fatigue. I walked to the office in the wonderful sunshine this afternoon. I came home early to do some yard clean up -- the old pick-up sticks game. Many branches and twigs littered the yard. Now that much of the accumulated snow has melted, the leaf and twig litter is much more visible. It has that dirty look of spring. Yet, in the front yard this afternoon were 6 snowdrops that weren't out this morning. The lilies and tulips are up 2-3 inches and the irises are just emerging. All this points to the hope that is wrapped up in the spring season. Life will emerge through the dirtiness to make the yard pretty again.

Thinking through this as I put together the third of three final exams tonight, I realized there was a metaphor in there somewhere <smile>. As bad as I feel right now, it will get better with time. Just as the tulips will bloom in a few weeks, so will I feel less lost and sad. Each time grief drops by it is different and always seems overpowering. Perhaps we bury that pain so that each time something new arrives it is a shock -- though each time IS different, so maybe it isn't a lack of memory. Hmmm.

A song from an album coming out later this week fits my feelings today. The words say what I'm thinking -- things will be OK maybe not right at this moment, but it will happen. In the meantime, I'll manage. The album is a collaboration by two unique groups. They recorded it 'live' in studio -- a more organic sound rather than something overproduced and sounding too perfect. Enjoy!

Odds Are -- The Barenaked Ladies AND The Persuasions