Today I had time to ponder the nature of waiting. Things that were to occur did not happen on time. In some moments the waiting seemed to be over, only to have the end point snatched away again. Well, just a bit longer -- maybe. The day ended with the wait being pushed into tomorrow. There were tears of frustration and disappointment when two hours turned into 12. All of this was totally out of my control -- something that the control freak in me finds difficult to manage. <sigh> To deal with such anxiety, I often work through the future steps that will happen, which helps me manage expectations and deal with small unexpected events. Now, when a major change in expectations occurs, I can be thrown for a loop. One can't prepare for all eventualities, it seems. That control thing raising its ugliness again. <sigh>
While waiting, I took time to sit down in a restaurant to have a late lunch. While trying to catch my breath and re-centre, I realized that my brain was working through a series of lyrics while I was consciously relaxing muscles and focusing on breathing. The overhead music was familiar older songs that helped with the relaxation process. Imagine.-- Me finding music in the background noise of the busy building. <smile> These songs helped me to manage the moderate changes to my plans. When more time was required, I felt deflated. More waiting was not anywhere in my plans.
They say waiting teaches us patience. I'm not sure that is true. If we spend some time reflecting, we might at least learn something about how we react to world around us -- how we react to loss of control. From this, we may be able to strengthen our resolve to deal with future situations. It may not bring patience but it might bring new coping skills.
For the calming ability of music today, I will share one of the tunes heard at the restaurant -- one that speaks to music from the past. Keep safe. Enjoy!
American Pie -- Don MacLean
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