Day 2 -169 -- Fear, Fatigue, and Confusing Feelings

Another day filled with ups and downs. It began with a fright as the taxi driver pulled out in front of an ambulance so he could get across the intersection NOW. I calmly asked if he didn't stop for emergency vehicles to which he barked "What?". I responded that the ambulance was right there -- it had been less than two car-lengths away as he edged into the intersection. He then yelled at me to say that there were cars waiting behind him so he didn't have a choice. Imagine. I said nothing else and seriously contemplated not paying him. I should have asked him to pull over and let me out. I could have walked the block back to the dispatcher for another taxi and to determine the drivers name so I can ensure that he isn't sent when I call next time. I was near tears and shaking even when I got out of the car -- didn't look at him and just left and slammed the door. It was not the way anyone's day should start.

I managed to calm down and the rest of the day went fairly well. We had a very successful meeting and I managed to get through a number of e-mails and one needed report was sent off. A mix-up later in the day meant a planned meeting didn't happen, so plans were altered. I was tired by the time I got home and realized the tensions of the day were deep in the muscles. It took a bit of time to relax and then be able to eat a nice supper. Even if I tell people about stresses, I can still carry that tension around. This only serves to make me tired and to shorten my temper, reducing my ability to be at all flexible and go with the flow. I always try to see things through the viewpoints of others and yet I still can feel annoyed and irritated by occurrences. Is that just me making it all about me or are they valid feelings? Just my confused musings at the end of an odd day. <smile>

So -- a song for the events and thoughts of this day -- hmmm.  It really seems that life isn't just about one person but about a collective experience. Thus, all perspectives are valid and one shouldn't feel guilty for having feelings.There was one lyric that ran through my head with these reflections today. I love the strong female singer and this video is so fun with the colour the of the band's outfits -- apricot <smile>. Enjoy!

You're So Vain -- Carly Simon