Yesterday, a former colleague noted that building and maintaining social connections has been challenging when we keep being sent to our corners. This reminded me of a school punishment from back in the dark ages. Before the concept of a 'time out' became common, there was the old 'stand in the corner' with your back to everyone. In short, it was a punishment for talking or acting out in some way. This effectively separated you from the group -- a form of reverse shunning. They could all see me, but I couldn't see them. It was hateful. It wasn't until I shared the message from my former colleague today, that my mind moved from the boxing metaphor of being sent to our respective corners to the dim distant memories of standing in the corner. The former appears more 'time out'-ish while the latter falls firmly into the punishment category.
This realization helped me to understand more about the negative feelings that have come from the social isolation common to the past two years. While there were bits of feeling safer being hidden away, there was the feeling of being punished for something that was not of my doing. Many negative feelings come along with being punished for something we haven't done -- loss of trust, disappointment, betrayal ad so many more. A focus on the positive aspects of isolating uses the frontal cortex of the brain -- the thought centre, while the negative emotions work through the limbic system and thus are not as logical or controllable. I feel that the negative emotions and anxieties about dangers outside our door, which include those who it feels punished us for some unknown reason, have increased as the process of being in and out of the metaphorical corner had dragged on. Unpacking all that new baggage will not be an easy or short task.
The selection for today includes lyrics about a corner -- albeit less punitive in nature. Overall, the lyrics promote self care. Happily, the melody is one that I find relaxing, so I can re-center more easily. Stay safe. Enjoy!
Take it Easy -- The Eagles
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