Day 5 - 150 -- Hesitation

Yesterday it became clear that I was in the midst of a major bout of avoidance behviour. A rather large project is staring me in the face every time I go to the office. It has a clear outcome or end point, but no starting point. It isn't a linear process so could begin in any of a number of ways. I've made a list of all the bits that need to be completed. Still, no one point jumps out and says "start here." There is anxiety involved, of course. Anxious because of the enormity of the task. That anxiety is more akin to being overwhelmed. When looking at potential starting points, I've realized that I find a reason why that couldn't be a pathway into the fray. In this way, I'm not being a good friend to myself <smile>. There is the other aspect of anxiety based on not getting started. I don't see this as procrastination, but rather paralysis. There may be personal difficulties as I walk through the large project. Is that making me hesitate to begin -- a type of trepidation? So -- I've seen myself today, much like a dog chasing its tail. Too anxious to start which creates anxiety because I haven't started. So I'm going to get dizzy if I don't just take a huge breath and dive into it.

A line from a song hit me while I was muddling my way through these thoughts. I find myself dealing with email that may not be as urgent as I make it seem. I go for a walk through the building and find someone to chat with -- even briefly. This is true avoidance behaviour based on anxiety. As I thought through the lyrics of the full song, it does deal with anxiety and moving from hesitation to action. Granted the song is about something wildly different from the project I'm embarking upon <grin>. The song and singer are iconic -- almost to the point of the absurd. Nonetheless, a major force in the music industry. Enjoy! 

A Little Less Conversation -- Elvis Presley