Day 54 -- buried in paper

Today was filled with grading midterm exams and it will continue for another day or two. There is nothing fulfilling about this part of my job and I've yet to meet someone who enjoys this task. Many feelings seem to accompany this endeavour -- oppression, as the pile seems self-replicating; disappointment -- generally in myself when it seems I haven't been clear in my teaching; and weariness, since the process takes much mental energy.

Now, I do understand that not all people will get every point presented in class or lab. I also understand that the exam process is fundamentally flawed and does not reflect knowledge as it is intended to do in the status quo thinking. I even understand that as the Chinese proverb says, "The teacher opens the door, but the student must walk through themselves." So -- why do I feel almost sad when grading? It must have something to do with inflicting disappointment -- regardless of the grade received it often doesn't fit with the picture the recipient had in their head. Year after year, course after course, I still struggle with the process. I want people to succeed and at the level they choose. Granted this may not be realistic on my part, which is all I really have any control over.

For now, I will move forward with the grading process while trying to focus on the points that are answered well. To be honest there is often more of these than those not answered well. Getting a grip on the whole picture rather than segments of the whole might help me to see what has worked well and where extra review may be necessary.

For today's selection, I've chosen a wonderful rendition of a song by three amazing women. The main concept may have something to do with the negative place I've found myself in today <smile>. Enjoy!

I will be released -- Cass Elliot, Joni Mitchell, & Mary Travers