Day 5 - 303 -- Unofficial Celebration

Halloween has come around again. While at the bank, one employee wore a pirate hat. The tellers had witches hats, but they had taken them off by mid-morning since they felt very hot. So -- not a lot of dressed up folks around me today. I spent some time at the office doing two things that I had not planned to do and not doing the one I did plan to do. The difficulty with the printer connections continued today, with an IT office visit now scheduled for when I return next week. Thankfully, a colleague printed the 12 pages I needed to carry to a meeting tomorrow.

I spent the evening reading a good book and watching a couple of recorded tv programs. I rarely get anyone choosing to walk all the way back to the house -- about 100 feet. They've obviously done the cost:benefit analysis or decided that the return on investment just isn't worth it <smile>. Three doorbells in 20 years -- so I don't participate. It isn't a celebration that I find interesting. Television programming seems to have a spooky bent to it this week, which can be intriguing changes from the usual story lines. Some talk shows and news magazine programs go a bit over the top with costumes, but it seems to draw viewers. I loved to see the pumpkins outside homes as I drove home tonight -- if only people then cooked the remnants or at least composted them. I dislike seeing them the next morning smashed in the centre of the road. Just a curmudgeon, aren't I? <grin>

Thinking of a song that suits the day, I chose one with fun lyrics and an appropriate theme. Enjoy!

Ghost Busters -- Ray Parker, Jr.

Day 5 - 302 -- Power of Hope

Two events this weekend reminded me how fragile life can be. Everything can change in a nanosecond -- or less. People I know are all safe, but were close to major tragedy. How do we begin to understand being so close to being damaged? Does this bring with it feelings of guilt for being ok? Surely, it must bring some recurring panic along with relief. Knowing those who could have had negative outcomes gave me pause -- tears, relief and many unnamed emotions.

All that examining of thoughts reminded me of an interview I'd heard with the author, Mitch Albom. He has a new book that is the closest to being a sequel that he has written -- The Next Person  you Meet in Heaven. He spoke about how the actions of unknown persons can change a situation and alter a life or lives. Often these things make no sense and trying to reconstruct them could drive a person mad. While we may want to stay in our home or somewhere we feel safe, getting back into the world makes the most sense. Retreat isn't the answer -- at least not the long term answer. The word that came back to me over and over was  hope. Hope -- without it where would life be? 

A song that speaks to the concept of hope came to mind in the past few days while pondering. The melody is hauntingly beautiful and the singer's voice unique and magical. The lyrics are filled with visuals of hope and moving forward. Enjoy! 

Rise Up -- Andra Day

Day 5 - 301 -- Muddy Venture

The day brought sunshine and warmer temperatures after the pouring rains overnight. Everything outside is saturated. All the leaves made less noise as I walked over them rather than through them this morning. With the sun, they would dry up quickly, well at least the top layer. When I returned home in the afternoon, the front yard had been cleared of the leaves that were down so far. There are still a lot left on the trees, especially those in the back yard, which fall close to two weeks behind those in the front yard. The fellow doing the clean up for us waited until midday to ensure things would be somewhat dry before he began the job of moving and removing the leaves.

I took advantage of the warmer temperatures and lack of precipitation to do the last of the rebuilding of flower beds where the workers had cleared things when rebuilding the front porch. I had rescued some ferns and irises from being uprooted or buried under inches of gravel fill. Now was the time to transplant them into the fall beds so they can expand into the soil and grow again in the spring. I had three pots with bits to replant on either side of the front stairs. Digging was easier due to the several inches of rain that have fallen in the past two weeks. When I removed the root clumps from the post, I realized that the soil was very wet, making the clumps heavier than expected. When I finished with those pots, I decided to move the last one back to its home on the back porch. It is a huge pot of chives. When I went to lift it, I had a surprise -- again the weight was much more than it should be. The soil was at least half water. I had to pour out some of it onto the top of the porch and lug the container to the bottom of the stairs, where I emptied all the remaining water into the flour beds. By that time, my jeans were soaked with muddy water and had spots of mud splashed all over. It made me laugh as I lugged the pot around to the back. I'm very glad I chose to do this outside and not try to carry the mess through the house and out the back door -- which would have been easier in drier times.

There was no question about who the singer for the day's selection would be.  I chose one of his songs that has fun lyrics about history albeit a bit of a fantasy <smile>. Enjoy!

The Blues had a Baby and They Named it Rock and Roll -- Muddy Waters

Day 5 - 300 -- Seeing the Positive

Rain tapered off during the day and temperatures were much warmer than the past couple of days. Most of the day was spent doing household chores -- lots of laundry and some cooking for the upcoming week. A wonderful blueberry crisp awaits <smile>. Between chores the final polishing and posting of the blogs for the past week was completed.

A solid sleep helped with getting through the day and all the activities. I have to keep reminding myself that it will take a long time to recover from a couple of poor sleeps. Just another joy of aging along with needing to carry reading glasses everywhere I go <grin>. I recently purchased the next step up for readers. They made an amazing difference for reading, while the older ones work best now for mid-range computer screens. So, it seems I'm covered for seeing in all three zones.

A song about vision came to mind today. The version shared here is a cover by a Canadian singer who hasn't bee featured in the blog for a while now. Enjoy!

I can See Clearly Now -- Anne Murray

Day 5 - 299 -- Weather Warnings Everywhere

A cold Saturday emerged from the rainy night with a few skiffs of snow. Further rains are expected into tomorrow as the remnants of Willa, a Pacific storm, passes. These storms rarely directly affect the North American continent, yet the occasional storm veers easterly and makes landfall in north western Mexico and then travels across the land mass to the Atlantic coast. This one traveled quickly and carried a lot of water, so heavy rainfall and wind warnings surround our little town. Temperatures are to rise into the teens for the next two days due to the tropical air carried with the storm. During the break between dumps of rain, I rushed out to the grocery store to replenish the fresh foods that I"d cleared out prior to travel last week. Needless to say the store was busy -- not unusual for a Saturday, but I suspect the storm warnings affected the size of the crowds. On return, I managed some laundry and began the long catch up of posting blogs from the past week.

As I headed to bed, I stepped outside for a moment and in the pouring rain, discovered frozen ice pellets on the porch but not on the sidewalk. The temperature began to rise late in the evening, so those icy bits will leave shortly. <smile>  The song for today uses rain as a metaphor, as most songs and poetry do. It is more uplifting than some, so I chose it to represent the feelings for the day -- on the positive side. The singer's voice does this type of song well. Enjoy!

I Made it through the Rain -- Barry Manilow

Day 5 - 298 -- Cold, Coal and Loss

Oh my goodness it was cold all day even when the sun shone through the clouds later in the afternoon. Temperatures hovered very close to the freezing mark all day -- above freezing but only by a few degrees. My professional day began with a Skype presentation to a classroom workshop in Halifax. I covered aspects of social media use in professional practice, so it seemed fitting that we communicate through one such platform <smile>. It was a rough start with me forgetting a file saved on the laptop which was at home. Lucky for me that I live in a small town and the trip home and back took about 12 minutes <smile>. Things started on time and there were some fantastic questions from the students in attendance. The second meeting of the day was cancelled, so I was able to complete another review task and get it off before end of work day today -- the deadline. Do we see a pattern forming here? <grin>.  The day on campus ended with a gathering for a colleague who retired this fall. We had worked together often when I applied for research funding or worked setting up research contracts. His assistance was valued. We chatted briefly about getting used to being 'out of the game' so to speak. It takes a fair amount of adaptation.

The news of the day came in the form of an obituary for a retired professor from the Music Department, who for 50 years had been conductor and musical director for a local male choir -- Men of the Deeps. Jack O'Donnell's work with this group took coal miners from Cape Breton around the world to sing their songs of life in the mines. He and his wife were instrumental in bringing the L'Arche community to Antigonish, also. Jack received many honours for his dedicated work including honourary doctorate degrees, a lifetime achievement award from the East Coast Music Association, and the Order of Canada. His presence in our community will be missed on so many levels. Another retired faculty member who arranges an annual musical arts series noted today that Jack "was the best friend that music had in Antigonish." I found the last line of his obituary particularly poignant. It was a quote from a Cape Breton Post article back in 1966 when the choir was beginning. "From out of the deeps, let a new song now pierce the sky."

It seemed only fitting to feature a song from the coal miners choir today. Their arrangements and great harmonies all carry Jack O'Donnell's touch.  The song that came to mind first is found in the link shared here. The song begins at about 3:35 point. Prior to that Rita MacNeil notes the work of the coal miner and a choir member recites a poem about mining accidents. The song then begins. While the topic deals with a mining disaster just down the road from town, the lyrics describe the feelings of loss and grief well. This song came from the Westray disaster that occurred while the Men of the Deeps were in concert on campus -- a disaster from which the truth took years to fully uncover. Somehow this sounds odd today, but Enjoy!

Their Lights Will Shine -- Men of the Deeps

Day 5 - 297 -- Through the Forest

Today involved a day trip to Cape Breton. The sky was blue with a few clouds when we left town, but quickly became fully overcast with drizzle. We did a quick shopping stop in Baddeck with great views of the Bras D'Ors lake and trees along the shoreline. We ate lunch at the Herring Choker <smile> -- a lovely soup and flatbread sandwich combo seemed perfect for the cold and wet day. Travel from the centre to the west coast of the island took us through forests that had lost most of the leaves. Happily, stunning leaf colour still existed on the west coast. In Inverness we visited a fabric art exhibit of  quilted wall hangings from across the province. The wonderful artistic renderings demonstrated detailed stitching, applique, and addition of other items to the artwork -- photographs on organza, fabric art imitating a photograph of cityscapes or nature scenes and many other objects and fabric detailing. I did find three that I'd gladly hang in my home, but they were already sold or not for sale -- likely a good thing given the lack of wall space at my place <smile>.

On the morning show today, Andy Kim was interviewed due to his recent addition to Canada's Walk of Fame in Toronto. His contributions to the music industry and philanthropic ventures led to the honour. Waking up and getting ready to greet the world took a bit of effort today. I still feel tired from the last week of travel and conference work. It was worthwhile. The opening lyrics of a song by Andy Kim fit well with my waking up dilemma -- though the other lyrics deal more with loneliness which wasn't part of my day. Enjoy!

Here Comes the Morning -- Andy Kim

Day 5 - 296 -- Home Again

A major storm moved through overnight and into the morning. Lots of rain fell and the winds were strong. While eating breakfast at the hotel, I watched as the clouds raced across the sky. By the time I finished, there were blue patches showing. My luggage arrived around 11:30. I changed clothes, checked-out and loaded the car. Hearing that the storm was moving the same direction I planned to travel, I chose not to head into the city for a couple quick stops, but instead to travel behind the storm as best I could. Roadways were covered in water in a few places and in one area it was a lot of water. Seeing the clouds up ahead, I decided to stop in the next town and walk around for an hour to ensure the storm had moved ahead of me. That last part of the trip is on two-lane roads. The ground was sodden in the driveway when I arrived home, but the sky was clearing. Inside the house all the electronics were flashing -- the power had been out earlier in the day.

After unpacking and thinking through the events of the day again, I was thankful for weather that wasn't too ugly when I had to drive home and for very kind people at the hotel who helped me deal with the frustration and stress of not having my 'stuff' and were very willing to celebrate with me when the bag finally arrived.  Being home and having my own bed and 'stuff' helped me feel calmer. A country tune reminded me of the feelings of heading back to my abode. The lyrics include references to places close to where I was over the past week. Love this song and the voice that sang it. Enjoy!

Take Me Home Country Roads -- John Denver

Day 5 - 294 -- Just Too Much

Getting the day started was a challenge. Early rise, quick breakfast-on-the-go stop and walk into the conference for the 8AM session. The exhibit hall was full for the next time slot -- a few thousand people making the wide aisles difficult to navigate. Added to the increased sound level, sensory overload hit me. I had to leave the floor and just sit -- no chairs anywhere, so it was floor <smile>. I was also very hungry so needed to find lunch by that time. A wander down the street found an interesting restaurant to meet the sustenance needs. That helped the degree of wakefulness for the afternoon sessions -- a couple of excellent speakers with great information to share. After a brief break at the hotel, we walked down the street to find a place for dinner. At a fantastic Mexican restaurant, the choice was amazing mushroom mushroom and veg tacos made with freshly cooked soft corn tortillas. Black beans, Mexican rice and a grated fresco cheese topped off the meal. We both decided it scored a 10 -- right up there with an Italian restaurant at a conference two years ago. The service tonight was great with division of labour meaning at least three people were checking in with us regularly, including the manager. That level of service elevated the superb food to an exceptional experience -- very important in an area where the competition is strong.

Back on the room I repacked everything to be ready for check-out tomorrow. While doing that, I reflected on the day, noting that there was much to add to the stress level and fatigue. Meeting former colleagues during the day was a high point -- from undergraduate years, masters program, and public health days -- so all westerners <smile>. Two of us moved into academia elsewhere and the other two remained in their home provinces working with food commodity groups. It is fun to see each other at conferences -- the time is just too short for a decent catch-up time. So, maybe at the next conference in six months.

In honour of the wonderful dinner tonight, I chose a Latin song. Two lines note the need to live in the moment, listen quietly and move forward -- all things that I required today. I chose the version with the introduction in English. Enjoy!

Viver Mi Vider -- Marc Anthony

day 5 - 295 -- Taken for Granted

What a day! Where to begin? After morning sessions at conference, I checked-out and had time for a walk before heading to the airport. Clear blue sky, 24C, with a light breeze. Roses blooming and hibiscus finishing the bloom cycle. The walk went further than I'd intended, but the exercise helped work out some anxiety about upcoming travel. Many positive interactions with strangers occurred today -- airport personnel, tourists asking me for directions <grin>, other travelers. I made an effort to compliment those in jobs that can be thankless at times. Flights went well, as did customs and immegration. On the last leg of the flight I was delighted to see my seat mate was a colleague on his way back from business in Viet Nam. At the end of a long day, I headed to the baggage carousel only to hear my name being paged. My bag was still in Montreal! There had been 1.5 hours between flights, so there seems to be no explanation as to why it missed that final leg of the journey. Good news in the message was that they knew it was not on the plane and let me know before standing there watching and waiting as all other bags moved past me -- over and over. This felt much better and put me in a better mood than when anxiety rises and emotions run amok when one's luggage does not show up. It should be on the first light in the morning, which arrives here at 10:30. Luckily, due to the late hour, I had planned to stay at one of the airport hotels tonight. The airline will deliver it to the hotel in the morning. So -- a very positive day ended with a lower point.

I realized tonight that I take a lot for granted or simply miss things along the journey. The flowers and smiles could easily be passed by when one is all wound up inside oneself. Even knowing the contents of a suitcase could be replaced -- well, to some extent as it wouldn't be exactly the same items -- brings some degree of calm mixed in with the anxiousness. Having pajamas to wear or clean clothes or makeup or snacks and small meals -- all of which can be too bulky for the personal carry on -- in this case my messenger bag style book bag -- can become a challenge and help us see what we assume will be there whenever we need it. Trying to be calm and noting the kindness of others when in the midst of an unexpected situation can move us to a place of acceptance and allow us to move forward.

After a soothing shower, I headed off to bed. The words that had come to mind earlier in the day still seemed to fit this evening. The lyrics speak to the need for kindness as we walk the journey. Enjoy!


Get Together -- The Youngbloods

Day 5 - 293 -- Learning Crowds

The day began early -- like really early for this non-morning person. Breakfast was purchased along the walk to the conference centre. The research poster was duly posted before 8 AM yet getting to the first session on time in the enormous building was not going to occur, so we paused to eat in the hallway and plan the sessions to visit over the next three days. The exhibition hall opened mid-morning so we checked out a number of the booths before attending the poster for the required Q&A time. I've always maintained that if planned well, an attendee could get a reasonable and balanced lunch from the food exhibitors -- I did my best, but it didn't seem to be like years past. It was massive as expected -- a couple football fields in size -- but the product was different than in the past. At the end of the sessions, there was a reception for the association journal -- for editorial board members, peer reviewers and authors of the past year. It was a delightful event and being able to put faces to the people I e-mail with regularly was very cool. We stopped for a nice supper on the way back to the hotel. By then I was exhausted with the over 12 hour day -- way too tired to write the blog, though I made some key notes to assist when I get back home.

Conferences bring many things -- all relate to learning in one way or another -- new products that exist, latest science findings, new ways to apply knowledge, meeting new people, conversations about conference sessions. Generally, the processes are fun -- tiring but fun. A song with lyrics about learning seemed the best choice to share today. Enjoy!

You Learn -- Alanis Morrisette

Day 5 - 292 -- Visual Story Telling

This morning I registered for the conference that begins this evening. The morning and afternoon involved visits to a couple of museums. The first stop was the Newseum, which is filled with the history of news communication. Given my research interests, viewing the historical displays was very interesting. Four sections of the Berlin Wall complete with a stories tall guard tower spoke volumes, particularly the graffiti on the west side and the stark nothingness of the east side. The 9/11 news wire notices from the first plane hitting to the final building falling into the evening surrounded a portion of the broadcast antenna from the top of the tower. Another gallery showed Pulitzer Prize winning photos and another held a moving memorial to journalists who died while working. The latter was a two-story glass installation with names etched on the small panes. It was quite moving.

After the emotion of the first stop, a brief walk in the sun helped me to re-centre. The next stop was the National Portrait Gallery. These artworks were amazing. The President's gallery held portraits of all Presidents, with some more modern painting or photography methods including those for Kennedy, Clinton, and Obama. Civil rights leaders from the 1960s featured in another gallery. Celebrities and pop culture icons filled other rooms. I was glad that I was able to see these works of art by many key artists.

The rest of the evening was spent with a friend and colleague and a veg-heavy supper, something that often seems to be difficult to find when eating away from home. One song had been running through my mind since the museum visit in the morning -- one that fit the topics discussed at both venues visited. Enjoy!

For What It's Worth -- Buffalo Springfield

Day 5 - 291 -- Finding Perspective

Today emotions ran the full gamut.

• Fear and anxiety for travel on icy roads. The usual 45 minute trip took well over an hour on two lane highway. Once the divided highway began just outside of the next town, the roads were dry, the sky was blue and no further frozen precipitation was falling from dark grey cloud.  The car needs a bath to get rid of the salty road spray, but major rain is expected for the next two days, which should take care of things. 
• Thankfulness for getting to the other side of the yucky roads without incident. I felt almost giddy when I stopped at a gas station to wash the schmutz off the windows. Then when I sat back in the car, I just cried.
• More anxiety for being behind a well planned schedule -- and more thankfulness for getting where I needed to be on time in spite of the weather and very early start to the day. 
• Happiness when I was reminded of a trip with friends over 20 years ago and another just 6 years ago. Seeing places we visited together out the plane window brought wonderful memories and smiles. 
• Enjoyment when I was able to have a restaurant meal at an ethnic restaurant that I've heard many good things about. Fresh made Chinese dumplings and a bowl of hot and sour soup -- true comfort foods after a day filled with every emotion imaginable. 

Even with the ups and downs in feelings,  I found when waiting in lines for service, I was calmer than I expected to be with the heightened anxiety state. Feeling relief and thanks seemed to colour the moods more than the anxiety. This also presented me with opportunities to thank those assisting me -- a spread the love type of thing <smile>. Staying in a positive place made the day move along smoothly -- a mindset that evolved from perspective.

A song that I heard on morning TV fit well with the physical feelings that accompanied the emotions -- raised pulse rate and increased body temperature from the rise in adrenaline and stress hormone levels. This is a cover of the original from a new album by Canadian artists produced as a tribute to the songwriter and singer who left this world a year ago.The album title is Canada Covers Tom Petty. Enjoy!

Stop Draggin' My Heart Around -- Matt Epp and Christina Martin

Day 5 - 290 -- Unexpected Events

A day designed for calmness and relaxing took a turn early in the day. My attempt to complete a necessary task requested I use an app on the phone rather than the website. Really?  So, after struggling for 30 minutes with something that should have taken less than 1 or 2, I stopped and refused to go further. This means I have to do this in person at a business that isn't in town -- a trip down the road tomorrow. The sun that started the day left by early afternoon. After a quick trip into the office to pick up a file and print an additional paper,  I headed back to the car. The air looked grey out the windows in the stairwell. When I paused to have a good look, it was precipitation -- and not the type one usually sees this early in the season. I won't even say the word. Very little accumulation is expected, but it will be windy and cold overnight. It is difficult to come to terms with this, given my need to travel for a meeting tomorrow.  I am hoping for some sun and a cessation of precip by the time I get out of bed tomorrow. <sigh>

So -- one word kept going through my mind for the events of the day -- it starts with an 's' <smile>. While several other words might have traveled through the thoughts, the main one dealt with unexpected events. The song title uses this word and the singer-songwriter presents it in a tension - calming mixture. Enjoy!

Surprises -- Billy Joel

Day 5 - 289 -- Feeling Deranged

The sun of the morning left abruptly about 10 AM. The cloud thickened quickly with some spitting rain briefly in the afternoon. Temperature was cold, so it was a day for the heavier fleece liner under the rain jacket. I attended a 'coffee with the president' event in our building this morning and had some fun conversations with several people. After lunch I had two appointments. One with the physio was to deal with the neck pain that has been waking me up often. His verdict was it was a derangement  -- no surprise to many <g>. He said my neck was actually a bit crooked -- something that only he could see -- I'm not noticeably bent <smile>. It is a mild form of the issue, so should be better with some simple exercises and stretches.

I find it scary when there is even a mild issue with a vertebral disk, though this isn't something that generally leads to disk deterioration. These are rather common and come from twisting or turning with a sustained posture. The derangement is a small bulge of a disk that presses against a nerve -- in this case the occipital nerve. The result is numbness or pain in the scalp as well as pain in the neck. I'm not sure what caused this, though this is the same side that received a whiplash injury several years ago. So -- I will dutifully attend to the exercises so that this irritation will go away.

I will have to admit that the first song that came to mind was from the very distant past -- as in childhood. Some days I believe my brain is more than a touch quirky <grin>. Enjoy!

There was a crooked man -- nursery rhyme

Day 5 - 288 -- Walking Challenges

I woke feeling tired but had a reasonable sleep overnight. Interestingly, there was a major wind storm overnight complete with monsoonal rains. I generally wake a bit during storms, but missed this one totally. When I left the house later in the morning, the rain had stopped and the skies were clearing. Bright blue skies arrived. Winds did not leave. Later in the day means that parking near the building can be difficult. I ended up way on the other side of campus. The walk across campus against the wind mainly, was a challenge -- a real workout. The wind had a propensity to choose my direction regardless of what I intended. Fighting that while walking uphill definitely increased heart rate <smile>.  By the time I left the office this evening, the skies were still clear, but the wind had vanished, making the walk back to the car invigorating but more manageable than the earlier walk.

Dancing with the wind this morning brought a song line to mind. The song shared uses wind as a metaphor for challenges we encounter in life. Enjoy!

Against the Wind -- Bob Seger

Day 5 - 287 -- Winds Bring Much to Ponder

The day began with some patches of blue sky between the clouds. Winds blew leaves off trees in larger amounts than the past few days. This air movement also had the clouds flying across the sky. I finished some household chores and then ran out to get six items at the grocery store. Two were not there, but I found two other items that were on sale. So the total was still just six. <smile>  I was surprised when I stepped out the front door. I was pleased to have my stretchie gloves in my jacket pocket as the winds made things feel very cool. It brought a number of comments from everyone at the grocery store, too.

Just that bit of sun -- and some reasonable rest -- helped move my mood into a more pleasant place. I worked on household accounts into the evening -- a task that I truly dislike, but found that I didn't get too frustrated with the pace of the process -- always too slow for my liking <smile>.  I watched some past episodes of a favourite series through the day and evening, which also helped to keep my mood more upbeat than recent days. Many tasks to undertake tomorrow and I will work at keeping the positive feeling close.

When pondering why moods can change from one day to the next for no inexplicable reason, a song line ran through my head. It did fit the thoughts and meteorological events today. I love this version with the singer-songwriter and that unmistakable phrasing. Enjoy!

Blowing in the Wind -- Bob Dylan

Day 5 - 286 -- Colour Changes in the Sky

When I woke this morning, there was great golden light filling the house. The sun was shining and the sky was gorgeous blue with very few wispy clouds. The weather folks said it was 3C feeling like the freezing point, so I dressed in a heavier fleece than usual and a wind breaker when I ventured out to run errands at the bank and to buy milk -- the necessities of life <smile>. When I got outside, I discovered that the gloves were not necessary and the sun felt very warm. The air temperature had risen over the past hour or so. It was 12C by that time, so it was much warmer. I swept the four-inch blanket of leaves off the front porch, stairs and walkway. Much of the day was spent organizing details for the coming months through e-mail, phone calls and in-person discussions. More phone meetings scheduled for tomorrow to speak about two major projects. On the way out of the building tonight the moon was visible for the first time in a long while. By then the cloud from the approaching weather bomb had begun to creep across the sky. We're told that cloudiness will be in our days for the remainder of the week -- at least.

Seeing the blue sky affected many people. Again, this weather phenomenon was part of most conversations or passing greetings. Seeing the blue sky and then the moon felt like seeing friends who had been away for some time. Faces appeared more relaxed and people smiled more today. My mood was quite positive which helped me to do the requisite planning of 'fun' things that will bring answers to those myriad research questions. On days like today, I really miss having a window at the office <smile>.

As I thought through the effect this short weather change had on me and others I encountered, a line from a song hit the consciousness. The version features two harmonizing voices and a great keyboard. Enjoy!

Moonglow -- Tony Bennett ft. k.d. lang

Day 5 - 285 -- Staring at Screens

This morning a bit of sunshine entered the kitchen. While shining through clouds, it was feeble but very, very welcome. Most of the day was cloudy, but that bit of sun brought hope. The furry one even laid within the faint outline of sunshine on the floor. My day consisted of the usual housecleaning and laundry. During the afternoon, I spent time working to understand a new device that plays nice for some software apps and not nice or not at all for others. Trying to get around the silliness led to some greater understanding on my part, but a couple major needed apps still freak out. I'll check with the IT folks next week and see if we can figure things out together.

Online communications have become integral to our days -- particularly when out of the home for work or travel. Carrying a full encyclopedia in our pockets or book bags feels surreal. Access to all libraries with digitized materials brings access for everyone. Shopping online brings almost anything to the front door in a short time. This latter one isn't one of my favourites, but I have done this -- living in a tiny town means fewer outlets to purchase required items. I find the use of major online realtors to purchase one or two items such a waste of packaging materials. I haven't found the sustainability in that form of shopping. From a local standpoint, jobs are lost when bricks and mortar stores close or downsize. Not everyone will find work at a large warehouse without moving to a different location. Shopping online for groceries isn't likely to occur for me. I want to choose my own produce and compare the different packaged or canned items for price and nutrition. Spending all my time with a flickering screen is not in the cards. For most of these online activities, the personal interaction is missing. That sounds like it could lead to a rather lonely existence. I hope to remain someone who speaks with another person and doesn't stare at a screen instead when out for tea or a meal or a walk. So -- working to integrate the requisite devices into my life without them taking over my every waking moment. <smile>

A fun song came to mind while reading the manual on one screen and working to troubleshoot on the other screen -- after I laughed at myself, that is. The lyrics deal with the stereotypical person who uses electronic communications almost exclusively. While that stereotype still exists, it is far from the only type being led around with their nose in a screen. Enjoy!

Online -- Brad Paisley 

Day 5 - 284 -- Rainy Day Mood

I woke earlier than planned and already in a blue funk. I managed a number of things on the list for today, but most were challenged by an attitude. Constant rain from last evening continued and is still falling tonight. I went out for a walk in the dark and the wet just to try to get myself back on an even keel. I did not feel any less tense after the walk, which is unusual. I did cook for a bit in late afternoon. Made a batch of red beans (rice on the list for tomorrow) and a pot of stew with dumplings. More fun things to put into the freezer so I can choose on nights I don't want to cook something new. The cooking helped me to focus on something else. The paper I read and have to comment on was problematic and with the mood I was in it seemed unmanageable. I'll revisit tomorrow and hope for something better in terms of comments <smile>.

Rain often becomes a metaphor for sad or upset moods. I generally love the rain and today weather didn't play a role in the mood. I found myself with frustrations on a number of fronts. Feeling tired didn't help -- nor does the loud party across the street <grump>. My plans for an early bedtime may be thwarted by the latter. Finding ways to move out of the circular thinking that spirals out of control can be tricky. One needs a full tool box of activities that can be tried. The same ones don't always work -- as in my walk this evening. Cooking or baking, reading, soaking in the tub, and listening to music can also help. There are those days when trying numerous things just does not get me out of the mood. I guess that means I need to find more tools to add to the tool box, eh? <smile>

A song title that I'm sure I said at some point today is shared here. The lyrics could be taken as reaction to trying different ways to change a mood. Enjoy!

It's Raining Again -- Supertramp

Day 5 - 283 -- Hurt Feelings

Guess what! Rain still falls here. <smile> The last of the system that came through Ontario and Quebec ended early in the day just in time to see the outer band of what remains of Hurricane Michael. Total accumulations forecast will be at least 25 mm (1 inch) with likelihood of double that amount. Reading back in posts for the past years, this time of year often brings with it heavy rains from tropical systems that have moved north. Some easterly winds will accompany the rain, but nothing too gusty is expected.

Needless to say, the grayness continues. This does affect my mood at times, too. I fear I offended someone with something I said, which was far from my intent. A topic arose that has created hurt feelings and confusion in me from the statements of others that seemed rather unfeeling or outright harsh. I just couldn't walk that road again today so left the conversation. When asked to explain, I did and said I felt I might respond in a less than polite way to the topic and I didn't want to do that, so I'd walked away. I don't think that my explanation reduced the hurt that was visible. That makes me sad. It appears that sun is forecast to arrive on the weekend; in the same vein, I hope the hurt feelings can be rectified with a talk when we are both less tired.

Tonight I'm listening to the rain on the roof and the occasional splashing on the side of the house with a touch of wind making the rain fall at an angle. At present this sounds very relaxing. A song came to mind this morning when the meteorologists presented the path the post tropical low will take today and tomorrow. This one also made me smile. The version of this folk song shared here had amazing harmonies common to the group performing. I also love their choice for verse 3. Enjoy!

Michael Row the Boat Ashore -- Peter, Paul and Mary

Day 5 - 282 -- What to Wear?

The wind was out of the north today. Heavy cloud remains. Each time out the door brought a bracing gust of wind. Tasks at the office moved forward with plans becoming a bit clearer for some of the projects, with clearer questions for others being planned. I managed half of the errands today, so more pushed into tomorrow -- a day with expected pouring rain. I'll just have to wear the full rain gear, I guess <smile>.

The continued grey skies make it difficult to feel upbeat. The cooler temperatures make me feel the need to dig out winter clothes -- at least the lighter sweaters. The heat seems to be on in the building at work, so dressing for the weather leaves me overheated in the workplace. It becomes difficult to know what to wear.

The song chosen to share today deals with the wind encountered on my outings. The folk style song and lyrics are almost magical. Enjoy!

A Cold Wind to Valhalla -- Jethro Tull

Day 5 - 281 -- Surrounded by Grayness

The day was cold and wet. Heavy grey cloud produced a day that never really brightened up -- felt like sundown all day long.  Other parts of the country west of here have temperatures in the high 20s with major humidity to make if feel even warmer. Even further west it is snowing again. If we go south, a hurricane made landfall in the Florida panhandle. It seems wherever I look, weather is less than perfect.

I woke at 5AM feeling hungry -- a good thing when I needed a pain pill for the headache. I never got back to sleep until 7PM after I ate supper. The grayness of the day did nothing to wake me up when out doing errands and heading to a meeting. I picked up the basics that I was missing on the weekend, so that I can finish the cooking planned and get the freezer filled with cold weather warmth. A meeting helped with future planning and some of the former office books found new homes. Still lots to go there, but it will work well over time.

At the end of the day, I still felt the need to perk up a bit. A lyric from an older Broadway tune fit the feeling of the day well. Enjoy!

Put on a Happy Face -- Tony Bennet

Day 5 - 280 -- Listening Inwardly

Today involved doing very little. I had some plans, but most were put on hold. The migraine pain is lessened now, but led to a restless sleep. I woke feeling foggy and definitely low energy. An appetite has not really appeared. I plan for supper to be a bit more than eaten so far, but nothing outside of the definition of bland and lower fat. The hope is that tomorrow improvements will continue. I have a few small items to do in the office and a small basket of things needed from the grocery store. So -- nothing really requiring huge energy awaits.

Listening to some recorded television programming was the highlight of the day. I re-watched something that I'd tried to view last evening, but I fell asleep instead. Earlier yesterday I'd tried to follow the plot, but was doing other things and was on the upside of this headache with impaired cognition. Today, I was able to follow things and really liked this season premiere and look forward to the next episodes.

The day has been grey, so no major sunshine to block out and was reasonably quiet inside and outside so no major noise to block either. Both photophobia and phonophobia seem to be part of this headache -- again not the usual. Loss of appetite does not occur with most headaches, either. While experienced this time, they just do not accompany the majority of headaches. Migraines can be of varying types and I get at least 2 or 3 types. Triggers are different and symptoms are not identical. Gladly -- or is that thankfully today <smile> - this type visits less often.

The lyrics that came to mind today explain some of what I felt. Appropriately soft and easy to listen to, the melody and harmonies made me smile. This duo's distinctive sound hasn't been duplicated -- love it. Enjoy!

The Sound of Silence -- Simon and Garfunkel

Day 5 - 279 -- Major Pain

Thanksgiving Sunday began with energy as I finished laundry, cooked veggie dish for dinner, and put much into the freezer for later meals. Further cooking halted when I discovered six onions from a 2 lb bag (so only 1 or 2 used) were rotting -- some from the inside out and others molding from the outside in. I'm so tired of onions spoiling before use -- in a matter of only a couple of weeks! So -- those tasks are put off until I shop again after the holiday tomorrow. As I was checking in on social media, I marveled at how much I was getting done today -- despite the lack of cooking as planned. Within just a few minutes, I was seized by some form of anger feeling. While trying to figure that out, I realized that I was in major pain. My neck gets sore often  -- leftovers from a whiplash injury a few years back. I had felt something in my shoulders earlier and put it off to this injury. Well -- it wasn't. A migraine had moved in when I wasn't looking. :(

Sometimes there are warning signs. Often I seem to miss them until the pain is full blown or someone else looks at me and asks if I have a headache. Today, I totally missed this. Again, as I've stated in past posts -- why do I seem to be out of touch physically? I was in a good mood and focused on that rather than checking in with physical stuff. Why would I when I 'felt' good? I did have some bits of head pain last evening, but they left quickly, so I wasn't thinking of this as a warning. So -- at dinner tonight, I ate well since the pain had subsided due to chemical treatment. The second pill should have been taken on a full stomach, so I had packed on in my pants pocket. When I felt for it, the pocket was empty. I then recalled that I had changed pants just before heading out for the holiday dinner. <sigh>. So, I took the pill when I returned home about an hour later.

When thinking -- albeit through a fog -- a song title came to mind. It asked the question I had -- why does the body choose to wage war on itself? The song lyrics speak to this very point. It is performed by a band from the 1980s. The video shows the fun style statements made by this group. Enjoy!

Do You Really Want to Hurt Me? -- Culture Club

Day 5 - 278 -- Meaningful Metaphor

Two conversations this week informed my journey through the liminal space between working and retirement. The first validated much of what I've been feeling -- trying to find where I belong, define who I am and see a path forward. From that came a few concrete ideas that could be put in place -- things that might help us to plan the way forward.

The second conversation with a colleague brought two wonderful statements. In our discussion the other party quoted a shared acquaintance who is closing in on retirement and has some serious plans already in place that will occupy the time with meaningful activity. That acquaintance had stated, "The next 10 years are important years." How insightful and stated succinctly and simply as is her usual way. As we continued to speak about the process of preparing and constructing a retirement, my colleague noted that she was "getting the large stones into the jar." What an amazing metaphor. That helped me to see what I have done -- planned the timing, arranged some transitional activity and embarked on the journey into retirement. There are still some larger stones that need to be added -- like where do I want to live? That can wait as I begin to add some of the smaller stones and pebbles representing the fun things and living life.

I will say that this past week has seen the first epiphany of what this journey could look like -- the first of many, I hope that will mark this rite of passage. The first conversation brought some lyrics to mind.

How does it feel to be on your own with no direction or home -- a complete unknown? 

The song has been recorded by many artists. Based on the second discussion, the version that I'd choose became much clearer <smile>.  Enjoy!

Like a Rolling Stone -- The Rolling Stones

Day 5 - 277 -- Musical Loss

This week France mourned a singer, lyricist and actor. Charles Aznavour's musical career spanned 70 some years. He died at age 94 and was still touring. He was known for lyrics that explored the depths of emotion in truly poetic fashion. His broad tenor range communicated those words so well. The songs served as reflections for listeners as well as methods to soothe souls. France provided full state honours for his funeral -- the flag draped in the French flag and the flowers in the Armenian colours. President Macron noted Aznavour was a son of Armenian refugees -- a man who brought so much to his adopted country.

While not everyone may know his name, there are songs in English and French that would be easily recognized. Aznavour wrote and recorded over 1000 songs. I have shared some of his songs in this blog over the years. Today I chose one that seemed fitting for a farewell. The version here is in French with the lyrics in the text of the post. This link shows the English translation.  The title is Hier Encore, which translates to Only Yesterday. It also has been recorded in English as Yesterday When I was Young where the lyrics are a bit different. Enjoy!

Hier Encore -- Charles Aznavour 

Day 5 - 276 -- Herding

The day involved much running in circles trying to corral others whose work I depend upon. By the end of the day, one very major situation seemed to finally be resolved. Between messages and calls, I did complete several other small tasks from the 'to do' list -- gathering information for a project, contacting others re: future work, and sorting out a way to approach another situation that is threatening to go in a direction that I won't follow. On the way home, I got groceries and stopped at the drug store for three items. At home I put things away and as I checked the drug store receipt, it was clear the senior's discount had not gone through. I've had this occur many times. Tonight I was so tired, I forgot to check for the discount before paying or at best before walking out the door. I walked back to the store and got things straightened out -- another example of having to be ever vigilant over the work of the others that can affect me.

In the main office this morning, I stopped mid-word when I heard a voice on the radio. It was Janis Joplan, not something that station usually plays, so it caught my attention. Later in the day, I realized that this was the anniversary of her death in 1970 -- 48 years ago. The song shared here seemed to fit my need to just step up and do my side of things and try to come to terms with herding others to get where I should be <smile>. Enjoy!

Raise Your Hand -- Janis Joplin

Day 5 - 275 -- Unexpected and Unexplained

I managed some of the things on the the home 'to do' list today. It never got beyond dawn or twilight level of light during the rainy day. My energy level seemed only partially there, too. A meeting helped me to see that I could make a decision and not have to worry about it. A meme I read today noted that "No." was a complete sentence, not requiring explanation or apology. Interesting. Now just need to give myself permission to say that word when I really mean it. Late in the day a phone call and e-mail noted that something that was to be completed for me by mid-September might be another two weeks. It appears that the notification that was to be sent the beginning of September didn't go out until I questioned things yesterday. The e-mail provided further incorrect information and clearly noted that things went out on time and an e-mail with information would arrive by the end of this week. The company to be sending that information cannot send it by e-mail, so I have no idea what is up with the local person. Seems a bit inept or working to cover the tracks of an egregious error on their part <sigh>.

After that debacle, I had a bath to relax and chose to watch a program and maybe get to sleep earlier to make up for the disruption from the noisy house down the street yet again last night. A song with , relaxing lyrics came to mind earlier in the day when I read the news of the death of Geoff Emerick, recording engineer with the Beatles. He received four Grammy Awards and was an innovator in sound recording. One of the songs that he worked on is featured here today. Enjoy!

Tomorrow Never Knows -- The Beatles

Day 5 - 274 -- Resentment

The sky today began sunny and end of work day it was fully overcast.  This paralleled my mood today. I began with positive feelings of what I'd placed on the 'to do' list for the day. By mid-afternoon, it became clear that not one thing would be completed beyond a returned phone call. The writing project for the day did not get far. There are large paragraphs that need to be merged across three documents. Only one file can be edited -- no cutting and pasting. I chose to figure out how to use the voice recognition feature of the software to read sections into the main document. This would save time and make the knitting together process easier. Well, the feature seems not to be pat of the software as promised. I finally left a message for a tech consultant and headed home as it was now supper time.

I tried to put my finger on the emotion swirling around inside. Simply, one might say anger, but this is resentment. The project is not one I said 'no' to yet I never fully said 'yes' either. Other projects feel more  mine at present and I will likely move on to them and just park this one until I feel enthused. Now, this may not occur and at present, I can live with that. As I've noted before, this research position should not be a full time job -- never my intention. The long list of projects to wind up contains many items that make me enthusiastic, so why focus on one that doesn't? So, this will find a home on the shelf for now.

The rising change in mood surprised me. Once I took the time to check in with myself, I realized it had moved beyond a mere irritation and into a full on bitterness at having to spend time on this project. I want to do other tasks and this one had me saying 'I need to' do this one. The difference between wanting to do something and feeling forced to do something is huge. By the time I'd driven home, another phrase went through my mind -- the title of the song shared tonight. Once I reached that phase, I decided to move on to something more enjoyable -- no need to feel like shouting at the end of a day. Lyrics of the selection focus on how I felt. The performers are an indie-pop group that have been termed post-punk, a genre that might fit well the emotional focus of the song. <smile> Enjoy!

Sick of It -- Primatives

Day 5 - 273 -- Something New

New beginnings. A new month began today -- October, one of my favourite months. In a meeting with a friend and colleague this afternoon, a new project began. We have talked around this project for some time but today it became more tangible. It is the beginning of a longer journey that I feel excited about taking.

I find that the beginning of the projects can be very exciting. A new idea can bring positive feelings. I've also seen that as things progress my interest wanes. The execution takes more effort than available often. What causes this lack of desire to see things through? They do get done, but it isn't without a fair amount of teeth gnashing. Is it that I am a thinker and less of a doer -- the one who takes ideas and puts them into a planned format and then passes it over to those who love 'doing' the project and are not as happy with the 'talking it out' process? I've been in groups where a concept is to be discussed and goals and objectives developed. More often than not, the 'how to' becomes front and centre before "what" has been fully defined. I find myself feeling very frustrated with this since the 'what' is what I do best. Deciding how to do something without a clear picture of the scope or nature of the problem can yield a solution that just doesn't meet the needs -- it doesn't fit.

A song that discusses plans gone awry seemed to best suit the meanderings of thoughts today. Lyrics of the shared selection provide insight into when plans go off the rails -- the impact can be huge on some people involved while the planners may just feel embarrassed at their failure.  It is an interesting concept, one that likely comes from doing without clearly knowing what needed to be planned. Enjoy!

The Planner's Dream Goes Wrong -- The Jam