There are days when I wake with a smile and days when I don't. Today was the latter -- a day marking a decade since one difficult decision that still haunts me. Today it hit me harder than it has in a very long time. Perhaps this had something to do with the swirling anxiety of the pandemic that seems to accentuate much in life -- past, present and future. Either way, it got me thinking today.
Have I not yet forgiven myself? This is a difficult thing to do, but to be honest, I think I have. That doesn't mean that there won't be moments when I feel the guilt and sadness strongly again, but most days there is acceptance. From that reflection, I think forgiveness has occurred. I certainly haven't forgotten my decision, though. Recognizing that such moments or days will arrive when we weren't expecting them, can help us understand such times and focus on acceptance. Getting here does take time, so we have to be kind to ourselves along the way. Focusing on who we are and letting that kindness for others reflect back to ourselves can keep us moving through life. There is still more to unpack with this one, but some cool revelations appeared today.
A song lyric that contains some of the ideas that surfaced today is shared here.I would note that we might need to treat ourselves better rather than depend on others for this. Stay safe. Enjoy!
Beautiful -- Carole King
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