I seem to find myself in the midst of lethargy and restlessness these days. I have a list of things I want to do, but getting started seems almost impossible. I've taken time away from research writing and planned three things that generally give me a feeling of enjoyment and even accomplishment. I finally got to one today, but did the first step and had to walk away. The disquiet felt too strong to continue right now. It will be a long project, as was a similar one in late spring. This involved me starting a new jigsaw puzzle that had me intrigued in terms of subject of images and the sheer number of images combined. A few minutes at a time can help me feel calmer. So, I will not push this, just do some of this while waiting for water to boil or supper to cook. <smile> The other two projects may begin or have smaller parts of the whole addressed. We'll see.
I'd pondered this general sense of unrest a lot over the past few weeks. I felt much of it fell out of the pandemic situation in the world. Today I read another article about the listlessness felt by many during this protracted health threat. (By Tara Haelle Your Surge Capacity is Depleted) Ideas that I've discussed with other health professionals were included. The constancy of the "indefinite uncertainty" (as the author termed it) causes major fatigue, listlessness, discontent, and inability to focus. The 'solution' proposed by the health professionals she interviewed were many, but one resonated more with me today than the others. They suggested that we not only be kind to ourselves, but that we expect less of ourselves. We are in a very different situation than usual, and our productivity simply can't keep up while we deal with threat mitigation. That one really made me stop and think. There are days when I feel I haven't done anything at all. It may be that I really needed to just stop for a bit and learning to allow ourselves to do less and to stretch deadlines for projects will take some work. This flies in the face of all that we've learned and heard throughout our lives, so will not change quickly. If we can support each other with reminders that it is OK to expect less, that may help to 'normalize' such a change. This article also explained my anger over the new grape varieties at the grocery store -- just one more change to my environment requiring adaptation.
A word used by the article author reminded me of a song -- one I've used before. I have also been using the word to describe the weariness I feel. Stay safe. Enjoy!
Grand Ennui -- Michael Nesmith
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