10-289 (17/10/23) -- A Very Bad Day

Where to start? It has been a sad day. My close friend died today. To use the term 'friend' seems inadequate. We were in nursery at church from at least age 3 to 6 months (She was 3 months older than me). We were baptized together and were confirmed on the same day. We grew up three doors down the back alley from each other from the age of 6 or 9 months. I was in her bridal party. We spoke weekly when she would update me on the growth and development of the grand-daughters aged 17 and 7 year old twins. She made me feel a part of her family. I will miss her updates. We helped each other through the yuckiness and reveled in the many wonderful events of life. The day before she passed we spoke about our upcoming high school reunion next summer. She was so excited about going. We had plans to be wild old ladies together -- something that might have surfaced at the reunion <sigh>. 

I feel lost and alone. I'm so not sure how to navigate this one without her. My brain can't fully accept this as real. I keep thinking of things I'll need to ask her next week when we talk -- things that only she could answer the who, or when, etc. It's like a chunk of my life is missing and I'm not sure I can find the answers to fill that void. 

This woman was kind and gentle but never shied from giving you advice. She often told you things that you may not have been ready to hear, but it needed to be heard at some point in your growth process. She got that one from her mother, a forthright, no nonsense discussant. <smile> Her legacy is the strong, caring family that she helped to build. She so delighted in spending time with her family. My heart hurts for them as they walk the rest of the journey without her physical presence. 

So -- being behind in the blog helped me today. I wrote oodles of back logged blogs. It gave me something to focus on and stopped me from pacing and crying. I'm afraid the blog continued to be behind as this one took some time to find some words to express part of what I've been feeling, though I think the words are still not adequate to express how much a part of my being involved her. 

I heard lines from two songs today. The first comes to mind whenever there is a major loss. The second seemed fitting for the loss of a very good friend. Keep safe. Enjoy! 

A Hole in the World -- The Eagles

Cryin' for Me (Wayman's Song) -- Toby Keith