I felt very defeated today. Couldn't muster any ambition to do anything -- neither chores nor fun things. The feeling was nagging at me all day. About 9:30 PM, I realized that it was Monday. Now, I'm not that disoriented that I didn't know what day it was; the significance of the day hadn't hit me until then. My best friend and I spoke on Mondays. Now, somewhere in my subconscious mind my brain knew this was Monday. Yet, it didn't allow my conscious mind to be aware of this -- like it was trying to protect me from some pain. So, instead of that, my brain referred that pain to the fatigue and darkness without me understanding the origin of it all. The pain hasn't been stopped, it was just hidden and created other discomforts.
Brains are amazing things. We really don't understand how they function as well as we might think we do. <smile> Pondering the day and my lack of clarity brought to mind something Professor Dumbledore said in Deathly Hallows. When speaking to Harry in the afterworld, Harry asked if this was real or just all in his head. Dumbledore replied saying "Of course, it is happening inside your head, Harry. Why should that mean that it's not real?" I had wondered what the heck was wrong with me today, but grief never surfaced as the answer.
One thing that helps on days like this is finding something to focus on like counting or breathing. This brought a song to mind that deals with challenging days. Keep safe. Enjoy!
Breathe -- Ariana Grande
No comments:
Post a Comment